Dead Pope John Paul

[Gunjaman5000 30]

Sister Lucia, Jerry Falwell, The Pope - Holy crap who's next, God Himself?

 

[Guest IYG]

Sister Lucia, Jerry Falwell, The Pope - Holy crap who's next, God Himself?

 

God is already dead:

 

Have you not heard of that madman who lit a lantern in the bright morning hours, ran to the market-place, and cried incessantly: "I am looking for God! I am looking for God!"

As many of those who did not believe in God were standing together there, he excited considerable laughter. Have you lost him, then? said one. Did he lose his way like a child? said another. Or is he hiding? Is he afraid of us? Has he gone on a voyage? or emigrated? Thus they shouted and laughed. The madman sprang into their midst and pierced them with his glances.

 

"Where has God gone?" he cried. "I shall tell you. We have killed him - you and I. We are his murderers. But how have we done this? How were we able to drink up the sea? Who gave us the sponge to wipe away the entire horizon? What did we do when we unchained the earth from its sun? Whither is it moving now? Whither are we moving now? Away from all suns? Are we not perpetually falling? Backward, sideward, forward, in all directions? Is there any up or down left? Are we not straying as through an infinite nothing? Do we not feel the breath of empty space? Has it not become colder? Is it not more and more night coming on all the time? Must not lanterns be lit in the morning? Do we not hear anything yet of the noise of the gravediggers who are burying God? Do we not smell anything yet of God's decomposition? Gods too decompose. God is dead. God remains dead. And we have killed him. How shall we, murderers of all murderers, console ourselves? That which was the holiest and mightiest of all that the world has yet possessed has bled to death under our knives. Who will wipe this blood off us? With what water could we purify ourselves? What festivals of atonement, what sacred games shall we need to invent? Is not the greatness of this deed too great for us? Must we not ourselves become gods simply to be worthy of it? There has never been a greater deed; and whosoever shall be born after us - for the sake of this deed he shall be part of a higher history than all history hitherto."

 

Here the madman fell silent and again regarded his listeners; and they too were silent and stared at him in astonishment. At last he threw his lantern to the ground, and it broke and went out. "I have come too early," he said then; "my time has not come yet. The tremendous event is still on its way, still travelling - it has not yet reached the ears of men. Lightning and thunder require time, the light of the stars requires time, deeds require time even after they are done, before they can be seen and heard. This deed is still more distant from them than the distant stars - and yet they have done it themselves."

 

It has been further related that on that same day the madman entered divers churches and there sang a requiem. Led out and quietened, he is said to have retorted each time: "what are these churches now if they are not the tombs and sepulchres of God?"

[Guest newranger]

..to the other side.

[Guest Q. Steltanus]

The pope seems to be meeting his maker on April Fool's Day: that God guy... he's such a prankster!

[Guest Guest]

The Pope's not done yet, evidently:

 

"However, it said that the pope had participated in a 6 a.m. mass Friday and that 'the Holy Father is conscious, lucid, and serene.'"

 

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/7263878/

 

 

 

The rest of the article, however, isn't quite as optimistic.

[Guest Guest]

POPE NEAR DEATH SAYS VATICAN

 

VATICAN CITY - Pope John Paul II remains in critical condition with a blood infection, hours after having suffered cardiac arrest, the Vatican says.

 

http://edition.cnn.com/2005/WORLD/europe/04/01/pope1/

[Josco 49]

There is a report on cnn that the pope has been given last rites.

Asking as a heathen, and an ignorant one at that; if one is given the last rites, is that it? May they be given again if one recovers? Can they be revoked? Who holds the record for the most rites? What is a rite anyway?

 

Just wondering.

[coffee-freak 0]

"Sister Lucia, Jerry Falwell, The Pope - Holy crap who's next, God Himself?"

 

 

 

God couldn't die-cause there is no god!

>.<°

[Viva Voce 0]

Shame he can no longer speak, he could have allowed contraception for the Catholic people....only joking April Fools!

[Guest Devnull]

He is in fact.. checking out

Or in, with St. Peter (who might me reviewing his credentials as we speak )

[IKYWN 6]

Is this some sort of race he has on with Prince Rainier? Who can get to the Pearly Gates first? My monies on JP2 as PR looks like he could struggle on for a bit yet

[Josco 49]

Is this some sort of race he has on with Prince Rainier? Who can get to the Pearly Gates first? My monies on JP2 as PR looks like he could struggle on for a bit yet

Gambling on the Pontif's life? Go straight to Hell, do not pass Go, do not collect £200.00.

[Tuber Mirum 125]

There is a report on cnn that the pope has been given last rites.

Asking as a heathen, and an ignorant one at that; if one is given the last rites, is that it? May they be given again if one recovers? Can they be revoked? Who holds the record for the most rites? What is a rite anyway?

 

Just wondering.

The last rites are given to the sick and dying. His Holiness had them once before when he was shot (by the KGB with Vatican support allegedly). I don't think it's necessary to revoke them.

 

But this time it is for real.

 

Extreme Unction is another, to my mind much better way of putting it.

 

 

edit Latest news here Pope suffering septic shock /edit

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

The Papal Chamberlain will be warming up his trusty silver hammer.

[Guest Guest]

unconfirmed reports are saying that the Popes death wil be announced in the next hour

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

unconfirmed reports are saying that the Popes death wil be announced in the next hour

A little more vague please!

[Stayin Alive 26]

I feel an old Deathlist favorite saying coming on:

 

Ready, steady, stop!

[Our Sole 5]

Interesting to see that JPII is being described as "Lucid". Not being a Josco type wordsmith I had to check this out with dictionary.com which yielded the following:

 

 

1. Easily understood; intelligible.

2. Mentally sound; sane or rational.

3. Translucent or transparent. See Synonyms at clear.

 

Having read that, I must admit I think numer 2. has to be a first for anyone from the church........

 

 

 

[Magere Hein 1,399]

The current bout of "Vatican watching" reminds me of the times that dictators like Breznev, Franco and Tito were on the last stretch. Those buggers took days and weeks to arrive at the finish.

 

Let's hope His Holiness gets on with it. 'Aven't got all day, you know...

 

regards,

Hein

[Cerberus 296]

The Papal Chamberlain will be warming up his trusty silver hammer.

Is that to finish him off? That seems rather brutal

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

The Papal Chamberlain will be warming up his trusty silver hammer.

Is that to finish him off? That seems rather brutal

Stop. Hammer Time!

[Guest Ciao, Tony]

Poppy pop pop Pope

------------------------

At early doors

You saved goals

But by half-time

You were saving souls

Now you are frail

Now you are bald

Now you're about to die

Because you're old

What's the point

Your match is played

You're in a coma

And can't get laid

So leave the pitch

Get on the team bus

So we can get

A new Pontifex Maximus.

 

Arriba!

[Earl Gloomy 7]

What i can't stand about the BBC and ITN News is that they feel the need to show this vulgar display of greef up and down the British Isles in all Catholic Cathedrals and Churchs. Report on the poor mans well being, not all these Catholic peasants crying and sobbing, i mean ....please!!!!

 

 

EG

[VileBody 11]

I've got to tell this joke since it won't work for much longer:

 

Englishman Scotsman and Irishman are touring the Vatican and get lost. Trying to find the way out, they wander into this room with a big ornate bed in it.

 

“Isn’t dat the Holy Father?” says Paddy.

“I think you’re right” says the Englishman.

“I think he’s deed” says the Scotsman

 

At that moment the doors burst open to admit loads of cardinals priests, Swiss guard etc etc. who are horrified that the secret of the Pope’s death has got out before they had gather the Cardinals together to elect a new one. They offer the 3 guys $1,000 each to keep quiet until the end of the week when the announcement will be made.

 

On the way out the English says:

“Here, we can make some real money out of this – we’ll all put a bet on that they announce the Pope’s dead on Friday”

 

So they agree to meet up at the Ritz in London on Saturday to see how they got on.

 

Come Saturday, the Englishman arrives in a new Aston Martin, orders Dom Perignon and a Cohiba and, when Jock arrives next, tells him he won £250,000

 

The Scotsman admits “Och, I was a wee bit careful and only bet half, but I still won a canny amount. Where’s Paddy?”

 

At that moment the Irishman arrives on the bus and they ask how he got on.

 

“Well, Oi wasn’t so lucky – Oi put it on a double with the Archbishop of Canterbury”

[The Yeti 14]

The Vatican have just made an announcement ....

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Thye've said it was all an

APRIL FOOLS !