dead Sister Wendys' Odyssey

[Spade_Cooley 9,538]

Nun tells you to keep a skull on your desk. May help with your deadpool research notes as a paperweight?

[charon 4,943]

Timely bump.

 

Saw the digital nun earlier today saying she wasn't having a break for blood transfusions etc, but ramming on with the umpteenth chemo.

[Sir Creep 7,070]

I was married to a nun.  Nun in the morning, nun at noon, and nun at night.
 

[charon 4,943]

Digital nun writes a lengthy piece about being still alive.

 

And no, it wasn't me that wrote too her.

 

A few weeks ago someone I don’t really know, but who obviously thinks they know me, wrote a rather curious email more or less accusing me of exaggerating my illness (metastatic leiomyosarcoma). At first, I brushed it aside. Then I found myself mentally replying with a long and circumstantial account of how the disease has progressed, admitting that while the initial prognosis was pretty grim (it had already spread to the lungs and liver), I had survived longer than expected and hoped to survive for longer still.* As all this was going round and round my head in the small hours, I asked myself why I was so defensive. Why did I feel it necessary to justify myself in any way? Did I feel guilty for not having died when I ‘should’ have done? Was it (partial) survivor guilt at work?

A psychologist would probably answer differently, but I think it has something to do with the rhetoric with which we customarily surround cancer. Any diagnosis of cancer is devastating, not only to the one who receives it but also to those closest to them, and I think we can make it harder for ourselves by the way we talk about it. We use words without thinking and forget that what has a precise meaning in medical circles may carry a different weight outside. Thus, I prefer ‘incurable’ to ‘terminal’ because the latter suggests that the person is being written off, not that the disease is . . . not going to be cured. Most oncologists are wise enough to say that although they can make an educated guess at likely times and outcomes, particularly for such dreadful cancers as pancreatic cancer which is often diagnosed very late, they are always being surprised by their patients — and no one is more delighted than they when someone manages to live longer and more happily than might have been expected. No one wants to raise false hopes (oncologists), but then again, no one wants to be cast into a pit of despair because everything seems bleak (patients).

I wonder, too, whether part of my own defensiveness stemmed from what I call the unseen battleground of cancer — the only battleground I’ll admit, because I am emphatic that I do not fight my illness, I live with it. Everyone with cancer will know that there are times when pain, weariness, ‘chemmie brain’ and worry about others — especially worry about others — fill one’s mental universe. One can’t think straight; one can’t pray straight; one just plods on. It is impossible to describe to anyone who has not experienced these things just how all-encompassing they are. I am fortunate that when I surface from the nausea and tiredness of my present chemotherapy regime, I have a few days in which I feel almost normal; but not everyone does. For some, the weakness and sickness never go away. It is not that one is ‘more’ ill than another but that our bodies respond differently, our minds too, and there isn’t very much any of us can do about it. All the positive thinking in the world will not change the reality of the situation in which we find ourselves. The single essential thing to grasp about cancer, I would say, is that we are not in control. As a Christian, I don’t find that either surprising or depressing; but for some people it is. Their whole life is built on the principle of aseity, that they are in control; and when that is manifestly not true, all kinds of complicated feelings and emotions can take hold. Guilt is just one of them.

If you who are reading this have cancer, I hope you will find some encouragement that the contradictory thoughts and feelings you experience are perfectly normal, that there is no one way of having cancer and certainly no right way of dealing with it. It is O.K. to feel angry/sorry for yourself — though I would suggest that that is not likely to help you live with your disease. Personally, I find that just getting on with things suits my temperament. I don’t have to pretend to be heroic (I’m not), nor do I have to bolster myself with unrealistic expectations. I do what I can and try not to fuss too much about what I can’t. I suspect I’ll always be sensitive to the suggestion that I am exaggerating my illness because I know that others are suffering much more than I am. That, however, is not really a consequence of having cancer but of the competitive nature of Western society. We tend to compare ourselves with others, often unconsciously, and we all know how useless that is. I think, in the end, I was grateful to my correspondent for forcing me to think about things I might never otherwise have considered. I’m sure you’ll be glad to know that my midnight musings on how to answer them ended with the thought that I could always have these words carved on my gravestone: I told you I was ill!

*If one has a rare form of cancer, such as sarcoma, there is the disadvantage that there is comparatively little written about the disease, and such studies as are readable by the layperson tend to be based on very small sample pools with depressingly negative outcomes. One can depress oneself very quickly by reading them.  See, however, the excellent work done by sarcoma.org.uk to inform and encourage sarcoma patients and their families.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

Sister Helen Prejean, author of Dead Man Walking, currently in hospital with preumonia and planning to cut back on public engagements.

[Spade_Cooley 9,538]

Sr Wybourne has handed over control of her Twitter account while she deals with another bout of "chemocosh":

 

 

[Sir Creep 7,070]

On 4/6/2018 at 19:00, DevonDeathTrip said:

Sister Helen Prejean, author of Dead Man Walking, currently in hospital with preumonia and planning to cut back on public engagements.

So I don't do Twitter, but I checked in on the good Sister and back around April 5-6 the announcement of her hospitalization is made and it's totally referring to her in the third person.
I thought the whole idea of Twitter was the account gave you access to thoughts by ....well....them.  Not some people representing their interests ('Ministry Against the Death Penalty').
In any case her Twitter account is rendered useless as to any information that can't be gleaned from the N.O. Times-Picayune.
SC

[charon 4,943]

8 hours ago, Spade_Cooley said:

Sr Wybourne has handed over control of her Twitter account while she deals with another bout of "chemocosh":

 

 

 

 

From memory, she does this every few months.

 

Tho not looked at her fb in a while, get the feeling she'll see me off.

[Davey Jones' Locker 1,324]

I saw part of a show on Sister Wendy's life today. I am not sure when this one was made but she spends at least some of her time in a wheelchair now.

 

They interviewed her Mother Superior who said Sister Wendy joined the convent after a physical and mental collapse and basically said she is still borderline mentally unstable (so her reclusive life at the convent is helpful for her mind). 

[gcreptile 10,979]

8 hours ago, Davey Jones' Locker said:

I saw part of a show on Sister Wendy's life today. I am not sure when this one was made but she spends at least some of her time in a wheelchair now.

 

They interviewed her Mother Superior who said Sister Wendy joined the convent after a physical and mental collapse and basically said she is still borderline mentally unstable (so her reclusive life at the convent is helpful for her mind). 

Interesting. I wonder what kind of life she had that caused her breakdown.

[Davey Jones' Locker 1,324]

3 hours ago, gcreptile said:

Interesting. I wonder what kind of life she had that caused her breakdown.

Wikipedia is vague on the subject:

 

"Outside her academic work, she lived in a convent which maintained the strict code of silence typical in convents prior to the reforms following the Second Vatican Council (1962–65). After attending the Notre Dame College of Education (Liverpool) and earning a teaching diploma in 1954, she returned to South Africa to teach at Notre Dame Convent, a school for girls in Constantia, Cape Town, where she taught English and Latin. Later she moved to Johannesburg where she was appointed the superior of the local convent, while she also lectured at the University of the Witwatersrand.[citation needed]

 

Return to England

In 1970, health problems forced Beckett to abandon teaching and to return to England. She obtained papal permission to leave her congregation and to become a consecrated virgin and hermit."

[Davey Jones' Locker 1,324]

Hmmm. Actually, she's been partially wheelchair-bound since 1997, according to the New York Times! She just has a touch of arthritis in an ankle. https://www.nytimes.com/1997/09/30/nyregion/sister-wendy-cloistered.html

[runebomme 377]

On 23/09/2017 at 16:24, Sir Creep said:

I was married to a nun.  Nun in the morning, nun at noon, and nun at night.
 

so long as she was not a nun in the evening I don't see a problem

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

14 hours ago, Davey Jones' Locker said:

I saw part of a show on Sister Wendy's life today. I am not sure when this one was made but she spends at least some of her time in a wheelchair now.

 

They interviewed her Mother Superior who said Sister Wendy joined the convent after a physical and mental collapse and basically said she is still borderline mentally unstable (so her reclusive life at the convent is helpful for her mind). 

 

When Sister Wendy appeared on Desert Island Discs, she was extremely self-critical and spoke of how her mind was "always racing", unless she was engaged in prayer.  I guess a tendency to over-analyse things is what makes her so good at critiquing art.  She's also frighteningly clever, as evidenced by the rarely bestowed congratulatory first class degree she received from Oxford University.

[Joey Russ 7,228]

Off topic question, but is there a reason why the nuns tag is red? Other tags that don't have the dead tag are in black, so I don't see why this one needs to be any different...

[Toast 16,151]

5 minutes ago, Joey Russ said:

Off topic question, but is there a reason why the nuns tag is red? Other tags that don't have the dead tag are in black, so I don't see why this one needs to be any different...

Yes - every time I see it I think she must have died.

[Davey Jones' Locker 1,324]

5 hours ago, DevonDeathTrip said:

 

When Sister Wendy appeared on Desert Island Discs, she was extremely self-critical and spoke of how her mind was "always racing", unless she was engaged in prayer.  I guess a tendency to over-analyse things is what makes her so good at critiquing art.  She's also frighteningly clever, as evidenced by the rarely bestowed congratulatory first class degree she received from Oxford University.

I tracked down the rest of the show: She said she started suffering from very bad epilepsy.

[maryportfuncity 10,655]

5 hours ago, Davey Jones' Locker said:

I tracked down the rest of the show: She said she started suffering from very bad epilepsy.

 

 

Yeah, given everything else we know that fits

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

17 hours ago, Joey Russ said:

Off topic question, but is there a reason why the nuns tag is red? Other tags that don't have the dead tag are in black, so I don't see why this one needs to be any different...

 

I've removed the red tag prefix and now it should be mainly black with a dash of white, which is more in keeping with nun's fashion anyway.

[Toast 16,151]

Screaming red nuns

[runebomme 377]

a nun story

 

https://www.firstpost.com/india/a-nuns-story-sex-affairs-and-priests-you-cant-refuse-267394.html

[Davey Jones' Locker 1,324]

On 24/05/2018 at 08:44, DevonDeathTrip said:

 

When Sister Wendy appeared on Desert Island Discs, she was extremely self-critical and spoke of how her mind was "always racing", unless she was engaged in prayer.  I guess a tendency to over-analyse things is what makes her so good at critiquing art.  She's also frighteningly clever, as evidenced by the rarely bestowed congratulatory first class degree she received from Oxford University.

According to the show, Tolkien was her uni tutor. She received the highest ever award for her course, later equalled only by UK Prime Minister Harold Wilson.

 

Also, from the way she described herself  she is what people nowadays call an "asexual". In other words, she's having nun of it.

[gcreptile 10,979]

Wendy may now do the deed:

 

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/07/16/consecrated-virgins-need-not-virgins-says-vatican/

[gcreptile 10,979]

Today a new blog post by Catherine Wybourne "Faith and Cancer" - but not the kind of info we look for:

 

http://www.ibenedictines.org/2018/07/17/faith-and-cancer/

[charon 4,943]

Aye read it on fb this morning, She'll outlast us all.