DL Members' Secrets

[Windsor 2,233]

There could be a problem if when the cat does actually die, they chose to bury it in the exact spot that you burried your dog.

[Godot 149]

There could be a problem if when the cat does actually die and they chose to bury it in the exact spot that you burried your dog.

I think Slave's taken care of that with the cunning ruse of burrying the cat on top of the dog which would admittedly make it quite a shallow grave, wouldn't do to have its ears sticking up.

[IKYWN 6]

This has all the makings of a classic farce. Why don't you get Brian Rix round as well so his trousers can fall down at the right moment? I might use this as the basis of a film script.

 

Personally I have no deady secrets and am therefore an ideal candidate for the leadership of the Liberal Democrats.

[Banshees Scream 110]

I'm afraid it's a bit boring really .

 

My Aunt died and we house-sat for a few months whilst the house was sold. Our 17 year old lurcher finally shuffled during our stay, so we buried him in the garden.

 

The house was sold shortly after and we became friends with the new owners. We never told them at the beginning and now, several years down the line, its a bit late.

 

We've so far managed to prevent him from being accidentally dug up, by claiming to have lots of garden expertise and heavily influencing their vegetable patch positioning. This can only go on for so long however and we have recently been considering the possibility of secretly digging him up again and reburying him in our own garden.

I hope this is a joke - If not your story is well hidden from the outiside world.

 

I'm suprised murder's don't post here often. Or atleast admit there crimes..

[Magere Hein 1,399]

Another thing, it would need to look as if the cat had just sort of died and any marks of violence would be a dead give away. Maybe something in its food would be the answer.

I"ve been told by a survivore of the Dutch famine of 1945 that killing a cat isn't easy.

 

I've also been told that fried natural sponge is both irresistable and lethal to cats.

 

Don't try this at home. Screw the RSPCA.

 

regards,

Hein (who loves cats and prefers dogs for food)

[Tuber Mirum 125]

I've also been told that fried natural sponge is both irresistable and lethal to cats.

I wonder if it would have a similar effect on people?

 

I have eaten fried pizza which has a similar consistency and is probably also lethal eventually.

 

Irresistible it 'aint though.

[Godot 149]

Another thing, it would need to look as if the cat had just sort of died and any marks of violence would be a dead give away. Maybe something in its food would be the answer.

I"ve been told by a survivore of the Dutch famine of 1945 that killing a cat isn't easy.

 

I've also been told that fried natural sponge is both irresistable and lethal to cats.

 

Don't try this at home. Screw the RSPCA.

 

regards,

Hein (who loves cats and prefers dogs for food)

I was offered dog in the Philippines. The ears are considered a breakfast delicacy in Banaue. I wouldn't say I was squeemish but just didn't fancy it. In the same place someone took me to see his grandfather. I didn't realise what was in store until he showed me some tatty old skin covered bones shoved in the eaves. They keep their relatives around for some time after death in those parts. So the Banauean equivalent of Slave, I guess, would be someone who had shoved her dead grandfather under the eaves of a friend's house without telling them.

[honez 79]

Hot Dogs delivered to your door, fresh and tasty.

[boddiddley23 0]

Hot Dogs delivered to your door, fresh and tasty.

Kind of ironic theres a McDonalds in the background of that picture.

[Tempus Fugit 214]

Hot Dogs delivered to your door, fresh and tasty.

They'd never fit in a bun,

[Brinsworth House Baiter 12]

Hot Dogs delivered to your door, fresh and tasty.

Kind of ironic theres a McDonalds in the background of that picture.

Or is he heading for the Chinese Takeaway to the right of the picture...?

[Canadian Paul 97]

Hot Dogs delivered to your door, fresh and tasty.

Kind of ironic theres a McDonalds in the background of that picture.

Or is he heading for the Chinese Takeaway to the right of the picture...?

Oh come now BHB, you know that's a bit unfair.

 

The McDonald's sign is in Chinese, so there's no way he's headed anywhere but there.

[Godot 149]

Hot Dogs delivered to your door, fresh and tasty.

They all seem like the same kind of dog. I'd say Staffordshire Bull Terrier. Are they particularly good eating? I would guess you get quite a bit of meat on a leg.

[Josco 49]

Hot Dogs delivered to your door, fresh and tasty.

They all seem like the same kind of dog. I'd say Staffordshire Bull Terrier. Are they particularly good eating? I would guess you get quite a bit of meat on a leg.

Judging by the damage round their anal regions they look as though they might have died an unnatural death.

[Tempus Fugit 214]

Of course not everybody likes dogs,

 

others might prefer beer roasted cat.

[Windsor 2,233]

Of course not everybody likes dogs,

 

others might prefer beer roasted cat.

Lady Die, I gather you are a cat lover.

 

DO NOT OPEN TEMPUS' LINK.

[Godot 149]

Hot Dogs delivered to your door, fresh and tasty.

They all seem like the same kind of dog. I'd say Staffordshire Bull Terrier. Are they particularly good eating? I would guess you get quite a bit of meat on a leg.

Judging by the damage round their anal regions they look as though they might have died an unnatural death.

I would assume that's how they were spit mounted. Not much meat on a cat as far as I can see. Poor cooking instructions, anyway, that suggest discarding bits that could be used for stock.

 

 

Incidentally, if you like cats, I can recommend Mr Chippy's Last Expedition about Shackleton's trip to Antarctica from the point of view of the cat. It ends rather abruptly and you need to read elsewehere to find out why.

 

Another possible solution to Slave's problem: Introduce your friends to the Madagascan practice of "bone rolling" where people dig up their dead relatives on birthdays and anniversaries and roll the bones around while everyone gets pissed and has a party. Say the dog belonged to your aunty and have a dog rolling party at your friends house then "forget" to put the bones back and transfer them to your garden. The only problem here is that your friends may enjoy it so much they will want to repeat the party next year only to find the bones have been nicked, leaving one prime suspect.

 

This is one tough nut to crack.

[Lady Die 63]

Of course not everybody likes dogs,

 

others might prefer beer roasted cat.

Lady Die, I gather you are a cat lover.

 

DO NOT OPEN TEMPUS' LINK.

Thanks for the warning.

 

We have just acquired a new kitten & my husband is already eyeing it up for a stew & a fur hat.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,357]

I ate roast dog when I was in Kiribati, damned nice it was too. I couldn't eat a whole one though.

[The Four Horsemen 26]

I ate roast dog when I was in Kiribati, damned nice it was too. I couldn't eat a whole one though.

You mean you only ate 'arf 'arf??

[Godot 149]

I ate roast dog when I was in Kiribati, damned nice it was too.  I couldn't eat a whole one though.

Just popped in to Jane's Kiribati chat room to discuss recipes but nobody there, they must be out to lunch.

 

 

http://www.janeresture.com/kirihome/

 

 

That music, is it a Libertines' tune?

[Brinsworth House Baiter 12]

I ate roast dog when I was in Kiribati, damned nice it was too.  I couldn't eat a whole one though.

Just popped in to Jane's Kiribati chat room to discuss recipes but nobody there, they must be out to lunch.

 

 

http://www.janeresture.com/kirihome/

 

 

That music, is it a Libertines' tune?

Yes, it's called 'I'm Getting Nicked After Lunch.'

[DevonDeathTrip 2,357]

Just popped in to Jane's Kiribati chat room to discuss recipes but nobody there, they must be out to lunch.

There is a 12 hour time difference between the UK and Kiribati, so they're probably sleeping off their latest meal.

 

I remember when I was there, that lobster was regarded as inedible vermin and

fed to dogs to fatten them up for eating. I asked several times if I could just eat the dog food instead of the dog, but to no avail.

[Godot 149]

Just popped in to Jane's Kiribati chat room to discuss recipes but nobody there, they must be out to lunch.

There is a 12 hour time difference between the UK and Kiribati, so they're probably sleeping off their latest meal.

 

I remember when I was there, that lobster was regarded as inedible vermin and

fed to dogs to fatten them up for eating. I asked several times if I could just eat the dog food instead of the dog, but to no avail.

Just testing you. Lobster-flavoured dog, sounds scrummy. I wonder if you can order a Labrador Thermidor.

[Godot 149]

The snowdrops are coming up Slave, daffs next, any sign of your dog? It must be decision time.