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If only they knew how much I really spent on all those call girls eh hem ha... CNN thinks 8 times ..... Heh hmmm. Try 36. Ha Hem hmmm.

 

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At least I have better taste in 22 year olds than Clinton

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How many times do we have to tell you Dwain, it's a rugby ball. You don't swallow it, snort it OR inject it.

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How was I supposed to know eating soccer balls would make them come out this shape? Oh, gawd, here comes another one.

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Clubs? Clubs? Dude!! You gotta outfit those bobbies with some semi-automatics if you want to get the job done!

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"I know what you're thinking. It is a pretty necklace isn't it?"

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"Hi, I'm #574. Dr Frankenstein said the first 573 experiments didn't work out, but I'm perfect. Hey, does this car have a vanity mirror? Oh, here it is -- GAK!!"

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Hi, I'm shagging Lard Bazaar's husband.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Sorry - I'm not bitter or anything, but I couldn't resist - although this lady is slightly more attractive than his latest floozy.

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"Bugger. From the Quo's guitar tech to the Tap's roadie in a year..."

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Ms Winehouse warms up for her Glastonbury appearance.

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"O, he told me that he came from New York, he wanted to save me." .. He thought he was the second coming of the world. I don't need him ....... I don't need anyone. I said No ... No .. No.

 

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This guy's got a black belt in getting his leg over and a life ban to boot. Anyone come up with a caption?

 

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I say to you Senor Grim Reaper, Fidel Castro does no belong on your puta de lista!

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OI! Get some Odor Eaters for them plates!

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OI! Get some Odor Eaters for them plates!

The true power of anal "Chi" captured on film for the first time.

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Randy's "Crotchless Kung Fu Panda" wins first prize at the fancy dress party.

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I told you brussel sprouts gave me gas, but did you listen? Noooooo, you made me eat them anyway!

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I told you brussel sprouts gave me gas, but did you listen? Noooooo, you made me eat them anyway!

 

Or...I'm a flying "Banshee" and I appear to have put my jeans on "back to front" tonight.

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/* NO CAPTION REQUIRED */

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W-w-wha-...owww, me fookin' 'ead... some Meccano Man fooker spiked me lager... here le-go, here le-go, here le-go... ah hello, Occifer...

 

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Whaddaya mean? You'd tremble if you were under here too.

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