Room 101

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

So I went into rant mode telling him that she was a whore and a hypocrite amongst other things.

 

 

 

Windsor, your anger towards women is quite disturbing, would you like to sit on Dr. Banshees (sic) Couch for a while

[Windsor 2,233]

So I went into rant mode telling him that she was a whore and a hypocrite amongst other things.

 

 

 

Windsor, your anger towards women is quite disturbing, would you like to sit on Dr. Banshees (sic) Couch for a while

 

I'd sooner become the next Ripper.

[honez 79]

...she was a whore and a hypocrite amongst other things. I have reason to say these things for many reasons:

 

1: She is only 14 and puts herself around a bit.

2: She is part of the God squad and is, as I mentioned earlier, a complete whore.

3. Her mother [snip] has created a new shift for her daughter which allows her to work after school.

So you are saying;

1) She is young and randy. Wow, like that's never happened before.

2) She is a religious hypocrite. Wow, like that's never happened before.

3) Her mother is nepotic. Wow, like that's never happened before.

4) All in all, lots of people dislike you. Wow, like that's never... erm... a good situation for anyone to find themselves in, young Windsor.

 

[Tuber Mirum 125]

Aye, it never fails to surprise me how people never fail to be surprised by the most natural and obvious aspects of human nature.

[Death Watch Beatle 41]

Death by Goboff. It's new and exciting!

 

DWB

[TLC 9]

Anyone who goes to Leicester Square for film premieres unless they're in it, helped make it etc; the important distinction being whether you're going to actually get in and see the film.

 

My quickest way to & from work includes cutting across Leicester Square, except for at this time of year because there are thousands & thousands of people there who scream like maniacs at Limos going past which have blacked out windows for f*ck's sake.... from which the occasional 'personality' will emerge, have a couple of photos taken then leg it inside.

 

I have still not seen one single famous person in my 6 months of working about 100 yards from Oxford & Regent Street, and I'm quite pleased about it. Well I say 'not seen', but I suspect that 'not recognised' is closer to the truth, or 'not paid attention due to apathy'.

 

I've been away from the DL for over a month, and this is my blockbuster return post. You can probably see how my life has changed direction recently through my snazzy new writing style. Erm.

[Lady Grendel 139]

Anyone who goes to Leicester Square for film premieres unless they're in it, helped make it etc; the important distinction being whether you're going to actually get in and see the film.

 

My quickest way to & from work includes cutting across Leicester Square, except for at this time of year because there are thousands & thousands of people there who scream like maniacs at Limos going past which have blacked out windows for f*ck's sake.... from which the occasional 'personality' will emerge, have a couple of photos taken then leg it inside.

 

I have still not seen one single famous person in my 6 months of working about 100 yards from Oxford & Regent Street, and I'm quite pleased about it. Well I say 'not seen', but I suspect that 'not recognised' is closer to the truth, or 'not paid attention due to apathy'.

 

I've been away from the DL for over a month, and this is my blockbuster return post. You can probably see how my life has changed direction recently through my snazzy new writing style. Erm.

 

Welcome back TLC, at least your hiatus has given me a chance to catch up on your post count, remember to pass me those sugar mice as I crawl past you!!

 

Still to the point, you seem to be in an excellent position to spot (and photograph) 'celebrities' (and I use that word loosely, bit like Kate Moss's knickers)? Certain magazines pay money (£250? a time) for spotting these non entities, perhaps you should fork out a couple of quid for 'heat' magazine and check out the 'spotted' page, and then earn yourself some cash getting a pic of one of them adjusting their bra?

[Banshees Scream 110]

Famous people try not to be recognized, keep your eyes wide and keep that in mind. Now TLC it's good to see you back and a change in lifestyle or even thinking can have a great influence on your everyday experiences. It's the transaction which is usually a real drag or at least that's how things go for me.

I've been away from the DL for over a month, and this is my blockbuster return post. You can probably see how my life has changed direction recently through my snazzy new writing style. Erm.

[honez 79]

even thinking can have a great influence on your everyday experiences.

I couldn't agree more. It's a shame many other don't.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

Am I being picky and anal?

 

Mr Lard has received a letter from a young man asking for an apprenticeship position. Mr Lard is a plumber. The letter has a small number of grammatical and punctuation errors, but horror of horrors, in the last line he has used textspeak - u instead of you. I really really really want to mention this in a nice way in our reply - am I being mean and picky, or should I tell it like it is, i.e. TEXTSPEAK f**ks US OFF, IT SHOWS YOU HAVE NO ATTENTION TO DETAIL AND ARE THICK AS sh*t?

 

Any thoughts?

[Monoclinic 39]

Am I being picky and anal?

 

Mr Lard has received a letter from a young man asking for an apprenticeship position. Mr Lard is a plumber. The letter has a small number of grammatical and punctuation errors, but horror of horrors, in the last line he has used textspeak - u instead of you. I really really really want to mention this in a nice way in our reply - am I being mean and picky, or should I tell it like it is, i.e. TEXTSPEAK f**ks US OFF, IT SHOWS YOU HAVE NO ATTENTION TO DETAIL AND ARE THICK AS sh*t?

 

Any thoughts?

 

Has he given you his mobile number as a point of contact? If so send him three letters P F O. You could start a modern day equivalent to the please feck off letter, being more direct and actually stating please feck off as opposed to the usual drivel contained within.

 

I will not suggest however that the sh!t sandwich (delivering bad news between two well thought compliments) has a modern day make over.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

Am I being picky and anal?

 

Mr Lard has received a letter from a young man asking for an apprenticeship position. Mr Lard is a plumber. The letter has a small number of grammatical and punctuation errors, but horror of horrors, in the last line he has used textspeak - u instead of you. I really really really want to mention this in a nice way in our reply - am I being mean and picky, or should I tell it like it is, i.e. TEXTSPEAK f**ks US OFF, IT SHOWS YOU HAVE NO ATTENTION TO DETAIL AND ARE THICK AS sh*t?

 

Any thoughts?

 

Has he given you his mobile number as a point of contact? If so send him three letters P F O. You could start a modern day equivalent to the please feck off letter, being more direct and actually stating please feck off as opposed to the usual drivel contained within.

 

I will not suggest however that the sh!t sandwich (delivering bad news between two well thought compliments) has a modern day make over.

 

Never thought of it as a sh*t sandwich! Nice one. However having consulted with Mr Lard, who, after all, owns the company, he says I shouldn't mention it, and that I am indeed being picky and anal. My point was that if the boy has no attention to detail in a letter, what might he miss on a plumbing job - turning the gas off or something, thus blowing someone's house to Kingdom Come.

 

Bastard. Spoils all the fun. I have therefore given a two line response, along the lines of thanks, but f**k off. So all is not lost And I've still got bloody toothache.

[Windsor 2,233]

I didn't think you needed a high standard of English to be a plumber.

 

There goes the back up job...

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

I didn't think you needed a high standard of English to be a plumber.

 

There goes the back up job...

 

 

You may not necessarily - but if you can't be arsed to do an even decent covering letter with your CV, I ain't employing you.

[Windsor 2,233]

I didn't think you needed a high standard of English to be a plumber.

 

There goes the back up job...

 

 

You may not necessarily - but if you can't be arsed to do an even decent covering letter with your CV, I ain't employing you.

 

I wouldn't judge the applicant by that for that particualr position. I'd be more interested in what qualifications and skills he listed.

 

You can't really put practical skills down on a bit of paper.

 

Then again, I'm not running a highly successful business. I'm assuming you're successful because plumbers are generally a shower of robbing bastards.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

I didn't think you needed a high standard of English to be a plumber.

 

There goes the back up job...

 

 

You may not necessarily - but if you can't be arsed to do an even decent covering letter with your CV, I ain't employing you.

 

I wouldn't judge the applicant by that for that particualr position. I'd be more interested in what qualifications and skills he listed.

 

You can't really put practical skills down on a bit of paper.

 

Then again, I'm not running a highly successful business. I'm assuming you're successful because plumbers are generally a shower of robbing bastards.

 

Ooo, that hurts! We are not robbers, mainly because Mr Lard is always sh*t scared of turning up on Rogue Traders on a secret undercover camcorder!

[Windsor 2,233]

People who attempt to belittle you instead of debating their side of the argument.

 

In another exchange with a Scottish Nationalist, he sent me an email simply saying 'freedom'.

 

So I promptly asked back 'Freedom from what'? He said 'The Queen and the English dictatorship'. I went with the usual speel about how both Scots and English voters have a vote of equal worth in elections, and also how only 49 of the 129 seats of the Scottish Parliament went to pro-independence parties.

 

He then returned with the usual - 'You have been brainwashed'.

 

I then asked him how was it that I became brainwashed and how was it that he escaped the effects of this state sponsored brainwashing scheme. He replied be saying it was because he was a Scottish Patriot.

 

I did, ofcourse, probe him further on the issue asking him how this branwashing manifested itself asking to be enlightened on how to overcome this English dictator's spell.

 

Now we get to the point.

It was rather late at night and I was still waiting on this theory of his. Instead of answering my question, he picked up on my age (19):

 

ahhhh hit a nerve did i your barley old enough for a dram just a boy you have some learning to do get out in the big bad world see some things keep away from the dictatorship thats poisoning your mind its not to late your only 19 find your FREEDOM

 

I continued asking for his theory but he then said:

i must rest now young man i look forward to continuing this debate 2moro you should sleep 2 your mum wouldnt be happy if she new you were still up at this time goodnight and god bless scottish god that is

 

He did continue the debate this morning choosing to call me a rent boy.

 

He is 31 years old by the way. With a young daughter.

 

So I would like to put people like him into Room 101. He has decided that everyone else is wrong but instead of giving his theory, he simply says that everyone else is brainwashed. He then rubs salt into the wound by talking down to me because I am quite young. I may be younger than him, but I still have a better grasp of the real world which really says more about him.

 

End of rant.

[Canadian Paul 97]

People who attempt to belittle you instead of debating their side of the argument.

 

Pot, kettle, black.

[Windsor 2,233]

People who attempt to belittle you instead of debating their side of the argument.

 

Pot, kettle, black.

 

Not quite the same. Your point started the belittlement.

 

You took a pop at my intellect, I took a pop at your...pop.

[Madame Defarge 21]

It's not so much the belittlement issue as the fact that some people will use patriotism as a substitute for a logical argument in such debates. I've been listening to the Bushies do it for years!

[Windsor 2,233]

It's not so much the belittlement issue as the fact that some people will use patriotism as a substitute for a logical argument in such debates. I've been listening to the Bushies do it for years!

 

What about this part:

 

ahhhh hit a nerve did i your barley old enough for a dram just a boy you have some learning to do get out in the big bad world see some things keep away from the dictatorship thats poisoning your mind its not to late your only 19 find your FREEDOM

 

As Canadian Paul will remind you, unlike CP I'm not likely to be sending applications to Oxbridge, but I'm quite sure that my approach to Scottish Nationalism is more mature than that of 'Eddie'.

 

Eddie believes Scotland should be independent because of Glencoe. I fail to see what Glencoe has to do with Scotland's future prospects as an independent nation.

[Canadian Paul 97]

Re: The Windsor Thing

 

I agree with you on the issue itself, if you're forced to resort to belittlements you've probably lost the argument already. He seems pretty childish for a 31 year old anyways.

 

I also think that if you're making a political argument and you're writing like a 14 year old girl text messaging her friends to do it, you've probably lost at least in principle. I agree with Maddox on this one (see the section on elementary school drop outs).

[Madame Defarge 21]

Windsor I didn't mean that it was okay for your pal Eddie to belittle you, but I think his argument was already in the dumper when he replied to your question by stating that he was a Scottish Patriot, implying that you are not. When he couldn't come up with anything better, he started baiting you with the 'just the boy barely old enough for the a dram' stuff.

 

I agree that a patriot is someone who cares about the present and future of his country and not someone interested in dredging up all sorts of ancient battles. My country is so divided right now that it sometimes seems like the Civil War is still raging!

 

BTW, you've said yourself that there are very few Monarchists in your age group, so from time to time the subject of your age is bound to come up in the conversation. Eddie however will probably be 13, not 31, for the rest of his life.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

Over zealous supermarket security guards. Every time I walk through the door of their establishment, the uniformed oaf (who no doubt failed in his application to become a policeman) in our local Co Op looks at me as if I am just about to commit a very serious offence.

 

I had a frank and forthright exchange of views with him this morning, telling him that I had been shopping there for years and never actually caused any damage or stolen anything, so there is no need to look at me like I'm a potential suicide bomber or ram raider. I got so irate with the "I'm just doing my job mate", reply that I stole a large packet of Cathedral City Cheddar (retail value £3.89) on the way out.

[maryportfuncity 10,657]

I love Cathedral City, I do. Can you nick us a bigger packet ahead of the DL convention and share it round? I could bring a few cans, or mebbe some syringes full of the exotic but little in demand semen of several rare species. Salty and lovely as a condiment.

 

Mebbe just the cans then, eh?