Room 101

[Guest Dicky Branson]

Virgin f*****g Media. W**nkers.

 

I get home from work today, my phone line is dead. I try the phone upstairs, that one's dead too, so I deduce that the phone line is faulty. I phone them up. 'There's nothing wrong with your line, it must be your phone', they say. 'I don't think it is my phone, I've tried two phones in the socket, and still no line', I say. 'There's nothing wrong with your line', they say again, because of course I'm stupid and didn't hear them the first time. So I ring off, ask my neighbour to borrow her phone, and she takes mine, and I try her phone in my socket, no line. She tries my phone in her socket, absolutely fine. Then my daughter tells me 'oh yeh Mum, Virgin were digging up next door's (other side) garden today', so I ask other next door 'why were they digging up your garden', and other next door says 'our phone line was broke', so I say 'mine's broke now', so I ring VM back up. Get a f*****g Indian call centre this time. Explained that the line was down, I'd tried 47 different combinations of phone and socket, it's definitely a line fault and what a coincidence that before they dug up next door's garden my phone was fine, and after they dug up my neighbours cables my phone line is broke - 'well that's not necessarily what's happened, we will come and fix it - NEXT f*****g TUESDAY.' So I get six days of no phone all because their fat sweaty 12 year old numb nut of a workman DUG MY f*****g CABLE UP BY MISTAKE. Bunch of c**ts. Absolute f*****g wanking bastards. I hate them. I want all of my money back that I ever paid you. Now.

 

I'm rather tired now.

 

Madam, I sincerely apologise from the heart of my bottom.

 

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Virgin f*****g Media. W**nkers.

 

I get home from work today, my phone line is dead. I try the phone upstairs, that one's dead too, so I deduce that the phone line is faulty. I phone them up. 'There's nothing wrong with your line, it must be your phone', they say. 'I don't think it is my phone, I've tried two phones in the socket, and still no line', I say. 'There's nothing wrong with your line', they say again, because of course I'm stupid and didn't hear them the first time. So I ring off, ask my neighbour to borrow her phone, and she takes mine, and I try her phone in my socket, no line. She tries my phone in her socket, absolutely fine. Then my daughter tells me 'oh yeh Mum, Virgin were digging up next door's (other side) garden today', so I ask other next door 'why were they digging up your garden', and other next door says 'our phone line was broke', so I say 'mine's broke now', so I ring VM back up. Get a f*****g Indian call centre this time. Explained that the line was down, I'd tried 47 different combinations of phone and socket, it's definitely a line fault and what a coincidence that before they dug up next door's garden my phone was fine, and after they dug up my neighbours cables my phone line is broke - 'well that's not necessarily what's happened, we will come and fix it - NEXT f*****g TUESDAY.' So I get six days of no phone all because their fat sweaty 12 year old numb nut of a workman DUG MY f*****g CABLE UP BY MISTAKE. Bunch of c**ts. Absolute f*****g wanking bastards. I hate them. I want all of my money back that I ever paid you. Now.

 

I'm rather tired now.

 

Madam, I sincerely apologise from the heart of my bottom.

 

 

Bearded f*****t.

 

Actually, I did in fact used to work for a Virgin company and met him a few times, seems a nice enough bloke. It's a shame that his companies employ f*****g 15 year old dickwads for managers. Absolute f*****g W**nkers. The whole lot of them. All want shooting. FIX MY f*****g PHONE!

[Godot 149]

Mobile phones that sound like old telephones. How f*****g retro.

[Slave to the Grave 26]

Traffic light windscreen washers

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,688]

People (alright, Cumbrians) who repost stuff I've already posted, especially if it's the previous post (Amy Winehouse) or within a page/day (extinct river dolphins). Oh, and posters (not necessarily Cumbrians) that make no effort to use the handy search function. I've made a rod for my own back now, haven't I, so I'd better not fall into the same trap.

 

See you at DC1, where we can discuss further.

[Windsor 2,233]

George Galloway

 

How much longer will he play the Iraq card? I used to give him the benefit of the doubt but now it is getting tiresome.

 

Besides, I didn't know that Keir Hardie took backhanders from an oil rich tyrant.

[Tuber Mirum 125]

He's a very principled chap old George you know. Good at exposing hipocrisy.

 

I thought it was disgraceful the way Jeremy Paxman abused him on election night after he'd won his seat fair and square.

[Tempus Fugit 214]

.

[Tuber Mirum 125]

Same goes for Jeremy Paxman.

[honez 79]

People who can't be arsed to read/fix up/make any sense out of their own signatures, even though they took the time to write them for other people to read.

[Star Crossed 33]

People who can't be arsed to read/fix up/make any sense out of their own signatures, even though they took the time to write them for other people to read.

Mods who ever-so-subtly-and-wittily change members' sigs but who, in doing so, miss the point entirely because they don't understand any of the current DL in-jokes.

 

Edit to add: Why do I *still* have a 20% warn level? Let's have it down to zero where it belongs, shall we?

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

People who can't be arsed to read/fix up/make any sense out of their own signatures, even though they took the time to write them for other people to read.

Mods who ever-so-subtly-and-wittily change members' sigs but who, in doing so, miss the point entirely because they don't understand any of the current DL in-jokes.

 

Edit to add: Why do I *still* have a 20% warn level? Let's have it down to zero where it belongs, shall we?

 

Darling, a 20% warn level means that you have been a naughty boy

Wear it as a badge of honour.

Love and kisses

LFN

[Windsor 2,233]

People who can't be arsed to read/fix up/make any sense out of their own signatures, even though they took the time to write them for other people to read.

 

My sig is a direct quote.

I know it doesn't read well, but she has done a better job than most women born in poverty in the 1830s...

[Lady Grendel 139]

People who can't be arsed to read/fix up/make any sense out of their own signatures, even though they took the time to write them for other people to read.

Mods who ever-so-subtly-and-wittily change members' sigs but who, in doing so, miss the point entirely because they don't understand any of the current DL in-jokes.

 

Edit to add: Why do I *still* have a 20% warn level? Let's have it down to zero where it belongs, shall we?

 

 

SC, the sig was changed after a discussion in the chat with the member who was mentioned in the sig, this was not done lightly but rather out of concern that other members who were not in on the 'in-joke' might perceive said member as being a lady of loose morals.

[Star Crossed 33]

People who can't be arsed to read/fix up/make any sense out of their own signatures, even though they took the time to write them for other people to read.

Mods who ever-so-subtly-and-wittily change members' sigs but who, in doing so, miss the point entirely because they don't understand any of the current DL in-jokes.

Edit to add: Why do I *still* have a 20% warn level? Let's have it down to zero where it belongs, shall we?

SC, the sig was changed after a discussion in the chat with the member who was mentioned in the sig, this was not done lightly but rather out of concern that other members who were not in on the 'in-joke' might perceive said member as being a lady of loose morals.

If you or the lady in question had simply PM'd me, I would have removed it earlier (as i have now done, as the quote cannot be displayed verbatim); no need for the cloak-and-dagger act.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

I want to put some of the new DL ers in here, for obvious reasons.

See, I dont seem quite that bad now, do I Windsor?

[Windsor 2,233]

I want to put some of the new DL ers in here, for obvious reasons.

See, I dont seem quite that bad now, do I Windsor?

 

I always give newbies a hard time.

Now that you are not so new, I'll tolerate you.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

I want to put some of the new DL ers in here, for obvious reasons.

See, I dont seem quite that bad now, do I Windsor?

 

I always give newbies a hard time.

Now that you are not so new, I'll tolerate you.

 

Thank you.

[Banshees Scream 110]

A lesson that we all learn from this is you should have the approval from other members when placing a 'discussion' as your signature. If you would call me the boss I don't really have a problem with it, but I guess according to some of the reactions from others they were not happy to see it. So the word is approval ladies and gentleman, the word is approval. Please keep that in mind to avoid future conflicts.

[Handrejka 1,903]

Re the sig. Just to stick up for SC a moment he did have permission initially to use that sig but that was when he wasn't posting very much and I didn't think people would see it. Sorry to be a fickle female but once he started posting again and it was visible for all to see, I did feel uncomfortable. It was agreed to change it, just a joke really. On reflection perhaps I should have PMed SC.

[Banshees Scream 110]

Spin the tables! Now we go across the street... to another part of the story and being Mr.Judgmental here I can't help but analyze that you gave him permission to present that discussion publicly. I understand your explanation and it makes sense 101 % but understand that others can not realize how you are feeling, (if you are not vocal. The conclusion to this insignificant conflict is Star Crossed is not to blame for he asked for your approval , again there is that word of access and you gave him the green light. Overall what is over is over, and misunderstandings are best forgotten.

[Lady Grendel 139]

Well this puts a whole new slant on the above debacle, had I been aware that permission had been given to SC to display that sig I would not, under any circumstances, have changed it .

[Handrejka 1,903]

Well this puts a whole knew slant on the above debacle, had I been aware that permission had been given to SC to display that sig I would not, under any circumstances, have changed it .

 

Sorry LG, sorry SC. Forgive me?

[CarolAnn 926]

Everyone kiss and make up. Group hug. Mwah!

[Twelvetrees 10]

Bob Crow. The leader of the RMT union.

 

This doesn't mean much if you don't use the tube, but if you do...I mean, people should have the right to withdraw their labour, but this beady-eyed pudding-brained buffoon does his level best to undermine that right every time he speaks.

 

Previous causes of threats of industrial action have been over the sacking of a tube driver who was seen playing sport when on long-term sick leave (evidently badminton is therapeutic), and because of the replacement of tea-urns with kettles in tube station kitchen areas.

 

His usual tactic is to threaten a series of strikes either during discussions to resolve problems or before they begin. It is nothing short of blackmail, and brings the entire trade union movement into disrepute. His discourse is also nothing more than a thin pastiche of seventies labour disputes, but he simply hasn't got the intellect or the ideological basis to back up his rent-a-playground-bully outbursts.

 

It's as though someone has attempted to shave a bulldog, cruelly dressed it in a cheap suit and tried (and failed) to teach it some rudimentary English. His latest wheeze is to threaten two 72-hour strikes next month that will have two effects -

 

1 - It will cause absolute chaos in London, and not just for tube users.

2 - It will erode any residual sympathy that the public has for tube workers.

 

There is only one remedy. Bob Crow should be captured (by being lured inside a giant pork pie), paraded around the City in a scold's bridle and then taken to Tower Hill, placed in a giant tea urn and publicly boiled in his own sh!t.

 

Please be advised that if you opt to reply to this post, I really have only just started....

 

Toodle-pip!