Room 101

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Perhaps I'm a bit old fashioned, but is sex education for 4 year olds a good idea?

 

I think that primary 7 (11-12 years) is about right - perhaps even p5. But not p1 - that is ridiculous.

 

 

I don't know, I think it depends how it's handled. I don't think they need to know about sex. However, I do think there's a lot to be said for children knowing the correct names of body parts just so they can articulate themsleves better if they are being abused.

 

I think 11-12 is little bit late really to start teaching sex education as puberty is starting earlier and earlier these days. I think about 8-9 is probably about the right age but then all kids are different.

 

Yes - but four and five year olds? Surely we should not assume that children will be abused. Teaching sex education for that reason is a pretty sad state of affairs.

 

I think I agree with you Windsor. If a child was being abused, surely an adult would still understand what they were telling them whether the child said 'willy' or 'penis'. I'm no prude (really, I hear you cry!) but that's too young. Nobody complains if a 4 year old says 'horsey' instead of 'horse'. Why should it be any different for body parts?

 

And Russell Brand still calls it a winkie. And he's a grown up!

[CarolAnn 926]

And Russell Brand still calls it a winkie. And he's a grown up!

 

Debatable....

[time 8,596]

I just noticed that the Heinz Baked Beans I bought the other day are, in fact,

'Heinz Beanz'.

 

When did that happen? More importantly, why?

 

I mean, its not like they were called 'beans' in some markets and 'beanz' in others, like Marathon and Snickers, or Jif and Cif, so why? Its just some smartarse marketing dick trying to justify his salary. (So thats smartarse marketing dicks into room 101 please)

[honez 79]

'Heinz Beanz'.

When did that happen? More importantly, why?

I mean, its not like they were called 'beans' in some markets and 'beanz' in others, like Marathon and Snickers, or Jif and Cif, so why? Its just some smartarse marketing dick trying to justify his salary. (So thats smartarse marketing dicks into room 101 please)

I'll be keeping an eye out for Snickerz, Marz Barz, Skittlez, M&Mz in the coming monthz.

I'll second your motion of putting Marketing Dickz in 101. Twatz.

[Canadian Paul 97]

I just noticed that the Heinz Baked Beans I bought the other day are, in fact,

'Heinz Beanz'.

 

When did that happen? More importantly, why?

 

I mean, its not like they were called 'beans' in some markets and 'beanz' in others, like Marathon and Snickers, or Jif and Cif, so why? Its just some smartarse marketing dick trying to justify his salary. (So thats smartarse marketing dicks into room 101 please)

 

I was at the supermarket where they were selling toy cars (it seems to be an obsession in North Dakota) and one of them was labeled "Ambulanz", and apparentely that's the German word for it. Maybe the guy who designed the beans was German.

[Body Snatcher 44 107]

I was at the supermarket where they were selling toy cars (it seems to be an obsession in North Dakota) and one of them was labeled "Ambulanz", and apparentely that's the German word for it. Maybe the guy who designed the beans was German.

 

The best use for baked beans is throwing any leftover tins into the camp fire and waiting for them to explode - great fun.

To borrow a page from Yvonne's book...

 

Baked beans are good for your hart,

The more you eat the more you fart,

The more you fart the better you feel,

So eat baked beans for every meal.

[honez 79]

The best use for baked beans is throwing any leftover tins into the camp fire and waiting for them to explode - great fun.

To borrow a page from Yvonne's book...

 

Baked beans are good for your hart,

The more you eat the more you fart,

The more you fart the better you feel,

So eat baked beans for every meal.

I think you misspelled something there.

 

Baked beans are good for your hart,

The more you eat the more you fart,

The more you fart the better you feel,

So eat baked beans for every meel.

[time 8,596]

I just noticed that the Heinz Baked Beans I bought the other day are, in fact,

[/img]

'Heinz Beanz'.

 

When did that happen? More importantly, why?

 

I mean, its not like they were called 'beans' in some markets and 'beanz' in others, like Marathon and Snickers, or Jif and Cif, so why? Its just some smartarse marketing dick trying to justify his salary. (So thats smartarse marketing dicks into room 101 please)

 

I was at the supermarket where they were selling toy cars (it seems to be an obsession in North Dakota) and one of them was labeled "Ambulanz", and apparentely that's the German word for it. Maybe the guy who designed the beans was German.

 

You have a point, maybe his name is 'Heinz Beanz'

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

The best use for baked beans is throwing any leftover tins into the camp fire and waiting for them to explode - great fun.

To borrow a page from Yvonne's book...

 

Baked beans are good for your hart,

The more you eat the more you fart,

The more you fart the better you feel,

So eat baked beans for every meal.

I think you misspelled something there.

Baked beans are good for your hart,

The more you eat the more you fart,

The more you fart the better you feel,

So eat baked beans for every meel.

 

So did you.

 

Beans, beans, the musical fruit

The more you eat the more you toot

The more you toot the more you eat

The more you sit on the toilet seat.

 

 

For the record, I am 36 years old.

[Windsor 2,233]

For the record, I am 36 years old.

 

Yes - and I'm the Pope.

 

 

 

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

For the record, I am 36 years old.

 

Yes - and I'm the Pope.

 

 

 

 

I understand your disbelief Windsor, but I really am that old. My stunningly youthful looks tell a different story, I know.

[Body Snatcher 44 107]

The best use for baked beans is throwing any leftover tins into the camp fire and waiting for them to explode - great fun.

To borrow a page from Yvonne's book...

 

Baked beans are good for your hart,

The more you eat the more you fart,

The more you fart the better you feel,

So eat baked beans for every meal.

I think you misspelled something there.

Baked beans are good for your hart,

The more you eat the more you fart,

The more you fart the better you feel,

So eat baked beans for every meel.

 

So did you.

 

Beans, beans, the musical fruit

The more you eat the more you toot

The more you toot the more you eat

The more you sit on the toilet seat.

 

 

For the record, I am 36 years old.

 

Baked beans and their hypnotic trance

The more you eat the more you dance

The more you dance the greater the chance

Of filling your pants with flatulance*

 

If I spelled flatulence correctly it wouldn't have rhymed as well.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

Talking of baked beans...

 

I don't often post on this thread, but the psychotic demon woman who attacked me in Tescos late yesterday night truly deserves mention here.

 

After a very long day at work, I stopped off at Tescos, armed with a shopping list Mrs DDT had kindly emailed me five minutes before I was due to finish for the day. I wasn't really looking where I was going as I wandered down an aisle trying to find low salt baked beans (DDT Jnr likes them, won't eat proper ones for some reason. But why is a tin containing half the salt twice the price?). I was in my own little world (not an uncommon experience) when I managed to walk straight in to this psycho woman who was approaching from the opposite direction, obviously not looking where she was going either. I didn't even make physical contact with her, our baskets clashed and that was about it, no injuries were caused no shopping was damaged, it was just one of those things. Even though I might have been only 50% to blame and being a good natured, completely harmless person, I instinctively apologised.

 

Me: "Oh, I'm so sorry."

Psycho Woman: Doesn't say anything, just glares at me hatefully

Me: "Are you OK?"

Psycho Woman: rather loudly "Get out of my way you stupid effing bstard" (at this point I notice she only has two bottles of economy vodka and a loaf of economy white bread in her basket and start to worry a little...)

Me: (slightly annoyed, and wondering if she's looking for economy beans to go with her collection) "OK fine, it was as much your fault as mine. There's no need to be nasty to me."

 

Without any further provocation, Psycho Woman then dropped/threw her basket to floor, breaking one of the bottles of vodka in the process, screamed and started physically attacking me; kicking, slapping, spitting, scratching whilst all the time hollering "effing bstard" at the top of her voice. I was really shocked, this has never happened to me before in the UK and I didn't quite know what to do (would I have been allowed to just punch her lights out at that point for my own protection? I had this really difficult heart vs head dilemma going at a very inconvenient moment). Eventually I managed to restrain her with the help of a former work collleague's husband who was mercifully close by and had seen what was going on. Security turned up, the police were called and Psycho Woman was carted off, still screaming, in the back of a van, I would imagine to the nearest mental health facility for evaluation.

 

That's about it really, no real injuries caused apart from a nasty scratch on my face, but I am a bit befuddled by the whole experience and I'd like to put her in Room 101. No doubt I'll manage to forgive her after a few days - hopefully she'll get the help she needs while she's there. I never did find those beans either.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Talking of baked beans...

 

I don't often post on this thread, but the psychotic demon woman who attacked me in Tescos late yesterday night truly deserves mention here.

 

After a very long day at work, I stopped off at Tescos, armed with a shopping list Mrs DDT had kindly emailed me five minutes before I was due to finish for the day. I wasn't really looking where I was going as I wandered down an aisle trying to find low salt baked beans (DDT Jnr likes them, won't eat proper ones for some reason. But why is a tin containing half the salt twice the price?). I was in my own little world (not an uncommon experience) when I managed to walk straight in to this psycho woman who was approaching from the opposite direction, obviously not looking where she was going either. I didn't even make physical contact with her, our baskets clashed and that was about it, no injuries were caused no shopping was damaged, it was just one of those things. Even though I might have been only 50% to blame and being a good natured, completely harmless person, I instinctively apologised.

 

Me: "Oh, I'm so sorry."

Psycho Woman: Doesn't say anything, just glares at me hatefully

Me: "Are you OK?"

Psycho Woman: rather loudly "Get out of my way you stupid effing bstard" (at this point I notice she only has two bottles of economy vodka and a loaf of economy white bread in her basket and start to worry a little...)

Me: (slightly annoyed, and wondering if she's looking for economy beans to go with her collection) "OK fine, it was as much your fault as mine. There's no need to be nasty to me."

 

Without any further provocation, Psycho Woman then dropped/threw her basket to floor, breaking one of the bottles of vodka in the process, screamed and started physically attacking me; kicking, slapping, spitting, scratching whilst all the time hollering "effing bstard" at the top of her voice. I was really shocked, this has never happened to me before in the UK and I didn't quite know what to do (would I have been allowed to just punch her lights out at that point for my own protection? I had this really difficult heart vs head dilemma going at a very inconvenient moment). Eventually I managed to restrain her with the help of a former work collleague's husband who was mercifully close by and had seen what was going on. Security turned up, the police were called and Psycho Woman was carted off, still screaming, in the back of a van, I would imagine to the nearest mental health facility for evaluation.

 

That's about it really, no real injuries caused apart from a nasty scratch on my face, but I am a bit befuddled by the whole experience and I'd like to put her in Room 101. No doubt I'll manage to forgive her after a few days - hopefully she'll get the help she needs while she's there. I never did find those beans either.

 

Bloody hell! What a fussy little bugger young DDT is! I imagine that was a bit shocking. A man once screamed in my face in the street because I had the audacity to be walking on a pavement where he was trying to ride his bike at about 70 mph. He swerved to avoid me, and crashed over a brick wall, then jumped up and went completely mental in my face. Looking back it was rather amusing (apart from the fact that he was going so fast I genuinely could have been killed) but at the time, I was completely gobsmacked. These pesky mentalists......

[Godot 149]

at this point I notice she only has two bottles of economy vodka and a loaf of economy white bread in her basket and start to worry a little...)

So she likes vodka sandwiches? Nothing wrong with that. You weren't shopping in Fraserburgh by any chance?

[time 8,596]

But why is a tin containing half the salt twice the price?

 

The way it works is this - the 'half salt' beans have just as much salt as conventional beans, but because they're twice the price, you only buy half as many, thus, you have half the salt as you would have had you bought conventional beans at half the price.

 

Smartarse marketing dicks strike again.

[Body Snatcher 44 107]

Baked beans from the night before,

I was drunk now my head is sore,

The beans are now vomit, pooled on the floor,

All I remember is the $10 whore.

[Canadian Paul 97]

Talking of baked beans...

 

I don't often post on this thread, but the psychotic demon woman who attacked me in Tescos late yesterday night truly deserves mention here.

 

After a very long day at work, I stopped off at Tescos, armed with a shopping list Mrs DDT had kindly emailed me five minutes before I was due to finish for the day. I wasn't really looking where I was going as I wandered down an aisle trying to find low salt baked beans (DDT Jnr likes them, won't eat proper ones for some reason. But why is a tin containing half the salt twice the price?). I was in my own little world (not an uncommon experience) when I managed to walk straight in to this psycho woman who was approaching from the opposite direction, obviously not looking where she was going either. I didn't even make physical contact with her, our baskets clashed and that was about it, no injuries were caused no shopping was damaged, it was just one of those things. Even though I might have been only 50% to blame and being a good natured, completely harmless person, I instinctively apologised.

 

Me: "Oh, I'm so sorry."

Psycho Woman: Doesn't say anything, just glares at me hatefully

Me: "Are you OK?"

Psycho Woman: rather loudly "Get out of my way you stupid effing bstard" (at this point I notice she only has two bottles of economy vodka and a loaf of economy white bread in her basket and start to worry a little...)

Me: (slightly annoyed, and wondering if she's looking for economy beans to go with her collection) "OK fine, it was as much your fault as mine. There's no need to be nasty to me."

 

Without any further provocation, Psycho Woman then dropped/threw her basket to floor, breaking one of the bottles of vodka in the process, screamed and started physically attacking me; kicking, slapping, spitting, scratching whilst all the time hollering "effing bstard" at the top of her voice. I was really shocked, this has never happened to me before in the UK and I didn't quite know what to do (would I have been allowed to just punch her lights out at that point for my own protection? I had this really difficult heart vs head dilemma going at a very inconvenient moment). Eventually I managed to restrain her with the help of a former work collleague's husband who was mercifully close by and had seen what was going on. Security turned up, the police were called and Psycho Woman was carted off, still screaming, in the back of a van, I would imagine to the nearest mental health facility for evaluation.

 

That's about it really, no real injuries caused apart from a nasty scratch on my face, but I am a bit befuddled by the whole experience and I'd like to put her in Room 101. No doubt I'll manage to forgive her after a few days - hopefully she'll get the help she needs while she's there. I never did find those beans either.

 

Awesome story, but is it as awesome as the time it happened to you outside of the UK?

[Windsor 2,233]

...

 

Without any further provocation, Psycho Woman then dropped/threw her basket to floor, breaking one of the bottles of vodka in the process, screamed and started physically attacking me; kicking, slapping, spitting, scratching whilst all the time hollering "effing bstard" at the top of her voice. I was really shocked, this has never happened to me before in the UK and I didn't quite know what to do (would I have been allowed to just punch her lights out at that point for my own protection? I had this really difficult heart vs head dilemma going at a very inconvenient moment). Eventually I managed to restrain her with the help of a former work collleague's husband who was mercifully close by and had seen what was going on. Security turned up, the police were called and Psycho Woman was carted off, still screaming, in the back of a van, I would imagine to the nearest mental health facility for evaluation.

 

Did you have to get a tetanus jab? Afterall, she did break the skin.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Talking of baked beans...

 

I don't often post on this thread, but the psychotic demon woman who attacked me in Tescos late yesterday night truly deserves mention here.

 

After a very long day at work, I stopped off at Tescos, armed with a shopping list Mrs DDT had kindly emailed me five minutes before I was due to finish for the day. I wasn't really looking where I was going as I wandered down an aisle trying to find low salt baked beans (DDT Jnr likes them, won't eat proper ones for some reason. But why is a tin containing half the salt twice the price?). I was in my own little world (not an uncommon experience) when I managed to walk straight in to this psycho woman who was approaching from the opposite direction, obviously not looking where she was going either. I didn't even make physical contact with her, our baskets clashed and that was about it, no injuries were caused no shopping was damaged, it was just one of those things. Even though I might have been only 50% to blame and being a good natured, completely harmless person, I instinctively apologised.

 

Me: "Oh, I'm so sorry."

Psycho Woman: Doesn't say anything, just glares at me hatefully

Me: "Are you OK?"

Psycho Woman: rather loudly "Get out of my way you stupid effing bstard" (at this point I notice she only has two bottles of economy vodka and a loaf of economy white bread in her basket and start to worry a little...)

Me: (slightly annoyed, and wondering if she's looking for economy beans to go with her collection) "OK fine, it was as much your fault as mine. There's no need to be nasty to me."

 

Without any further provocation, Psycho Woman then dropped/threw her basket to floor, breaking one of the bottles of vodka in the process, screamed and started physically attacking me; kicking, slapping, spitting, scratching whilst all the time hollering "effing bstard" at the top of her voice. I was really shocked, this has never happened to me before in the UK and I didn't quite know what to do (would I have been allowed to just punch her lights out at that point for my own protection? I had this really difficult heart vs head dilemma going at a very inconvenient moment). Eventually I managed to restrain her with the help of a former work collleague's husband who was mercifully close by and had seen what was going on. Security turned up, the police were called and Psycho Woman was carted off, still screaming, in the back of a van, I would imagine to the nearest mental health facility for evaluation.

 

That's about it really, no real injuries caused apart from a nasty scratch on my face, but I am a bit befuddled by the whole experience and I'd like to put her in Room 101. No doubt I'll manage to forgive her after a few days - hopefully she'll get the help she needs while she's there. I never did find those beans either.

Bloody hell, you are posh!!

I bet not many people have Broadband in their cow sheds.

[Windsor 2,233]

This annoyed me when I read it.

[Terminator 13]

This annoyed me when I read it.

 

I can see why you're annoyed...."mild learning difficulties"????? There's an overwheming majority hovering below "average intelligence" without the nanny state meddling in their "bedroom shenanigans".

 

There are also women with PROFOUND learning difficulties getting shagged (and pregnant) by their carers....why then is this particular thickee worthy of any media attention more than the other "thickees"???

[honez 79]

This annoyed me when I read it.

Absolutely. There's no lower IQ limit on lots of things, so why start there?

 

She's legally entitled to vote, to open up a bank account, to apply for a loan, etc. Those things aren't IQ-tested, so why should a perfectly normal and natural biological process require legal intervention and prevention?

 

Plenty of people too stupid to scratch themselves manage to breed and raise kids all over the world, so why should she be singled out and prevented from doing so? If you applied hard-and-fast intelligence tests on right-to-marry and breed, then Eaton would be half empty.

[Magere Hein 1,400]

There's an overwheming majority hovering below "average intelligence" without the nanny state meddling in their "bedroom shenanigans".

Ehrm, it seems to me there's something iffy about the mathematics of the two parts of that statement.

 

regards,

Hein

[time 8,596]

This annoyed me when I read it.

 

Kerry Robertson, 17, has already been was prevented from getting married after social workers said she lacked the capacity to consent to the wedding.

 

Was the report written by someone with 'mild learning dificulties'?

 

Anyway I digress...

 

What I really came into this thread for was to add Marks and Spencer (or as they appear to like being called, probably for the benefit of those with 'learning difficulties, M&S) to room 101. I was passing their store last night on my way home from work when I observed window dressers in their front window erecting a Christmas tree.

The prosecution rests.