Room 101

[Guest David]

The five young guys who've just moved in next door to me. Music blaring out all the time and noisy parties every weekend. I'm getting sick of it.

[Guest David]

Can we put the common cold in Room 101? I haven't got one - but my girlfriend had one just before Christmas.

[Bibliogryphon 9,589]

lol....

 

the fuckwits at the BNP have released their card..

 

 

I am hoping this is a joke.

[Paul Bearer 6,109]

lol....

 

the fuckwits at the BNP have released their card..

 

The Bangladeshi National Party?

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

The five young guys who've just moved in next door to me. Music blaring out all the time and noisy parties every weekend. I'm getting sick of it.

 

FIVE young guys, you say? What's your address?

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

The five young guys who've just moved in next door to me. Music blaring out all the time and noisy parties every weekend. I'm getting sick of it.

 

FIVE young guys, you say? What's your address?

 

Somewhere in Brighton I think.

[Deathray 2,941]

The Dutch and stuff like this;

 

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-25548061

[charon 4,943]

lol....

 

the fuckwits at the BNP have released their card..

 

 

I am hoping this is a joke.

 

Nope, the clownshoes went with it.

[Guest David]

Hi, Dr Zorders, I actually live in Glasgow - and five young men have just moved into the flat next door to mine. They are extremely noisy - they have parties every weekend and music blaring through the whole block. I'm getting really sick of it.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

Hi, Dr Zorders, I actually live in Glasgow - and five young men have just moved into the flat next door to mine. They are extremely noisy - they have parties every weekend and music blaring through the whole block. I'm getting really sick of it.

 

Quite surprisingly, IF this is a genuine post I actually sympathise with you. I live next door to a stuttering twat that looks like a cross between Wayne Rooney and Graham Norton. He and his wife have no children, but do have a boxer dog that they talk to as if it were a child - 'that's a GOOD GIRL, bring the ball to mummy!' - he scuba dives so is deaf, so turns his stereo and Sega Megadrive up to 11, thus making my bookshelves vibrate. They do this between the hours of about 6pm and 1am, as he 'works from home as a photographer' (read that as 'does fuck all except wank while his wife is at work') - thus meaning that I get to sleep at about 2am, and then wake up again about 5am when they decide it's funny to make their dog start barking. On the weekends (and sometimes in the week) they have friends over and all have sex with each other, and his wife does quite a good impression of a squealing Jack Russell with a strangulated hernia. When his friends come over, they find it acceptable to park across my driveway. One day I am going to kill him. Actually kill him, to death.

 

In the meantime, because I'm a lazy council-working cunt, I have dapped along the work corridor to the planning department, who have confirmed that due to the location of our properties, I am perfectly within my rights to erect a rather high fence in my front garden - this will block most of the daytime sun from his living room. And he can do fuck all about it as he doesn't own the house, and IF his landlord tries to complain (which planning say he can't), I will report him to Revenue and Customs, as I know he does not declare the full amount of rent they pay to him. So they can all suck a big fart right out of my ass.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

Hi, Dr Zorders, I actually live in Glasgow - and five young men have just moved into the flat next door to mine. They are extremely noisy - they have parties every weekend and music blaring through the whole block. I'm getting really sick of it.

 

Quite surprisingly, IF this is a genuine post I actually sympathise with you. I live next door to a stuttering twat that looks like a cross between Wayne Rooney and Graham Norton. He and his wife have no children, but do have a boxer dog that they talk to as if it were a child - 'that's a GOOD GIRL, bring the ball to mummy!' - he scuba dives so is deaf, so turns his stereo and Sega Megadrive up to 11, thus making my bookshelves vibrate. They do this between the hours of about 6pm and 1am, as he 'works from home as a photographer' (read that as 'does fuck all except wank while his wife is at work') - thus meaning that I get to sleep at about 2am, and then wake up again about 5am when they decide it's funny to make their dog start barking. On the weekends (and sometimes in the week) they have friends over and all have sex with each other, and his wife does quite a good impression of a squealing Jack Russell with a strangulated hernia. When his friends come over, they find it acceptable to park across my driveway. One day I am going to kill him. Actually kill him, to death.

 

In the meantime, because I'm a lazy council-working cunt, I have dapped along the work corridor to the planning department, who have confirmed that due to the location of our properties, I am perfectly within my rights to erect a rather high fence in my front garden - this will block most of the daytime sun from his living room. And he can do fuck all about it as he doesn't own the house, and IF his landlord tries to complain (which planning say he can't), I will report him to Revenue and Customs, as I know he does not declare the full amount of rent they pay to him. So they can all suck a big fart right out of my ass.

Post of the year, so far.

If she has sex with loads of men, any chance of puting a good word in for me?

Im trying to remember what its like.

I may be hung like a chinese hamster but ive got nigh on 15 stone to push it in with.

Cheers!!

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

Yeah, love it when Lard gets ranty, always make me piss myself with laughter.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

Er, did someone just change the subtitle of this thread to "Deathlisters Hate Pets"? haha.........!

[Guest David]

LardBazaar, this is a genuine post. My new neighbours have all got dogs that bark incessantly, they play their music at the loudest volume they can - so the walls in my flat shake - and one of them has already scored the paint on my motorbike. I was on holiday in France when they moved in - but the guy in the flat below me - who finally did pay for the scratch he did on my motorbike with his car door - don't worry, we get on great now - sent me a text at Christmas to let me know the guys had moved in. From what everyone tells me, I was lucky to be away in France for Christmas - the weather was terrible here.

 

 

[Guest David]

LardBazaar, this is a genuine post. My new neighbours have all got dogs that bark incessantly, they play their music at the loudest volume they can - so the walls in my flat shake - and one of them has already scored the paint on my motorbike. I was on holiday in France when they moved in - but the guy in the flat below me - who finally did pay for the scratch he did on my motorbike with his car door - don't worry, we get on great now - sent me a text at Christmas to let me know the guys had moved in. From what everyone tells me, I was lucky to be away in France for Christmas - the weather was terrible here.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

Hi, Dr Zorders, I actually live in Glasgow - and five young men have just moved into the flat next door to mine. They are extremely noisy - they have parties every weekend and music blaring through the whole block. I'm getting really sick of it.

 

Quite surprisingly, IF this is a genuine post I actually sympathise with you. I live next door to a stuttering twat that looks like a cross between Wayne Rooney and Graham Norton. He and his wife have no children, but do have a boxer dog that they talk to as if it were a child - 'that's a GOOD GIRL, bring the ball to mummy!' - he scuba dives so is deaf, so turns his stereo and Sega Megadrive up to 11, thus making my bookshelves vibrate. They do this between the hours of about 6pm and 1am, as he 'works from home as a photographer' (read that as 'does fuck all except wank while his wife is at work') - thus meaning that I get to sleep at about 2am, and then wake up again about 5am when they decide it's funny to make their dog start barking. On the weekends (and sometimes in the week) they have friends over and all have sex with each other, and his wife does quite a good impression of a squealing Jack Russell with a strangulated hernia. When his friends come over, they find it acceptable to park across my driveway. One day I am going to kill him. Actually kill him, to death.

 

In the meantime, because I'm a lazy council-working cunt, I have dapped along the work corridor to the planning department, who have confirmed that due to the location of our properties, I am perfectly within my rights to erect a rather high fence in my front garden - this will block most of the daytime sun from his living room. And he can do fuck all about it as he doesn't own the house, and IF his landlord tries to complain (which planning say he can't), I will report him to Revenue and Customs, as I know he does not declare the full amount of rent they pay to him. So they can all suck a big fart right out of my ass.

Post of the year, so far.

If she has sex with loads of men, any chance of puting a good word in for me?

Im trying to remember what its like.

I may be hung like a chinese hamster but ive got nigh on 15 stone to push it in with.

Cheers!!

 

You'd probably catch chlamydia. You'd be better off fucking the boxer dog. Makes less noise too.

 

The thing is, they are skanky cunts too. I've been in their house because when we first moved in, we were actually fairly civil, and we would go round to feed their cat when they were off diving (in the sea). They have a pole (for dancing) in their dining room, and their house FUCKING STINKS. Of course, with hindsight, I should have had a key cut, so that now we are not friends, I could still go in their house and hide kippers behind their radiators, to make the house smell better.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

LardBazaar, this is a genuine post. My new neighbours have all got dogs that bark incessantly, they play their music at the loudest volume they can - so the walls in my flat shake - and one of them has already scored the paint on my motorbike. I was on holiday in France when they moved in - but the guy in the flat below me - who finally did pay for the scratch he did on my motorbike with his car door - don't worry, we get on great now - sent me a text at Christmas to let me know the guys had moved in. From what everyone tells me, I was lucky to be away in France for Christmas - the weather was terrible here.

 

You should throw a petrol bomb through the cunt's window. Neighbours like that deserve to die. MAN UP AND DO IT!

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

Hi, Dr Zorders, I actually live in Glasgow - and five young men have just moved into the flat next door to mine. They are extremely noisy - they have parties every weekend and music blaring through the whole block. I'm getting really sick of it.

 

Quite surprisingly, IF this is a genuine post I actually sympathise with you. I live next door to a stuttering twat that looks like a cross between Wayne Rooney and Graham Norton. He and his wife have no children, but do have a boxer dog that they talk to as if it were a child - 'that's a GOOD GIRL, bring the ball to mummy!' - he scuba dives so is deaf, so turns his stereo and Sega Megadrive up to 11, thus making my bookshelves vibrate. They do this between the hours of about 6pm and 1am, as he 'works from home as a photographer' (read that as 'does fuck all except wank while his wife is at work') - thus meaning that I get to sleep at about 2am, and then wake up again about 5am when they decide it's funny to make their dog start barking. On the weekends (and sometimes in the week) they have friends over and all have sex with each other, and his wife does quite a good impression of a squealing Jack Russell with a strangulated hernia. When his friends come over, they find it acceptable to park across my driveway. One day I am going to kill him. Actually kill him, to death.

 

In the meantime, because I'm a lazy council-working cunt, I have dapped along the work corridor to the planning department, who have confirmed that due to the location of our properties, I am perfectly within my rights to erect a rather high fence in my front garden - this will block most of the daytime sun from his living room. And he can do fuck all about it as he doesn't own the house, and IF his landlord tries to complain (which planning say he can't), I will report him to Revenue and Customs, as I know he does not declare the full amount of rent they pay to him. So they can all suck a big fart right out of my ass.

Post of the year, so far.

If she has sex with loads of men, any chance of puting a good word in for me?

Im trying to remember what its like.

I may be hung like a chinese hamster but ive got nigh on 15 stone to push it in with.

Cheers!!

 

You'd probably catch chlamydia. You'd be better off fucking the boxer dog. Makes less noise too.

 

The thing is, they are skanky cunts too. I've been in their house because when we first moved in, we were actually fairly civil, and we would go round to feed their cat when they were off diving (in the sea). They have a pole (for dancing) in their dining room, and their house FUCKING STINKS. Of course, with hindsight, I should have had a key cut, so that now we are not friends, I could still go in their house and hide kippers behind their radiators, to make the house smell better.

Well keep your eyes and ears open maybe something better will crop up ..........or summat.

[Lady Grendel 139]

Er, did someone just change the subtitle of this thread to "Deathlisters Hate Pets"? haha.........!

 

Nope, that subtitle has been in place for the last 7 years.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

I'm 1000000000% sure it was "Deathlisters' Pet Hates" a day ago. Because that would make more sense. And then it was changed for comedy purposes by some mod yesterday when Lard started talking about that dog.

 

Funny thing that this issue comes up in this thread yesterday, and then just today my neighbours (who have started taking in some very yappy dogs over the last few months although only for a few days at a time, they seem to be dog-sitting), have got yet another dog at the moment and it was yapping endlessly for about 45 minutes earlier.

[Lady Grendel 139]

Having to arrange and oversee computer data input tests for prospective employees at the interview stage.

 

I have never ever been involved 'hands-on' (in a non DLT way) in interviews for new staff in any way shape or form in the jobs I have held over the years, I have been asked for my input beforehand and what I may need for someone working alongside me and consulted afterwards about whether they would suit but I am never involved in the actual interview.

 

Today was different, for reasons I won't bore you with we have the opportunity of offering a young person an admin place. So I got to introduce myself to 3 terrified young men - yes I know those of you that have met me will know how terrifying that is for anyone who at least knows a bit about me, but these kids had never heard of me and I hoped my outward veneer of confidence would hold up, it was totally see through. I am sure they went away thinking 'I have just met the mad aunt from some old movie'.

 

'that's right dear, aren't you doing well' were phrases slipping out of my mouth as I watched them nervously input data in all the wrong places . Somewhere there is a Facebook status that says 'met this mad old bag today at an interview, she was sweating more than I was, Loser!'

 

They were actually great kids and fairly accurate at the data input but when did they stop teaching capitalisation at schools, if it is an address every word gets a capital letter, if your address is the funny farm every word gets a capital letter. They also learned postcodes can actually have 4 digits in the first part - all 3 of of them changed TD11 to TD1 and proceeded to tell me there can only be 3 digits in the first part of a postcode, no there can't 4 is the maximum, small beef but they were asked to type in what they were given, they were useless at putting capital letters in postcodes too.

 

Just read this back and I am indeed that old bag and loser, suffice to say we hope to take on 2 of them. I shall have my work cut out as a grammar nazi with them and also to convince them that I really have a softer side and I will be making them tea, coffee nipping out to get them their lunch etc and almost plumping their pillows .......as long as they remember to use capital letters

[Lady Grendel 139]

I'm 1000000000% sure it was "Deathlisters' Pet Hates" a day ago. Because that would make more sense. And then it was changed for comedy purposes by some mod yesterday when Lard started talking about that dog.

 

Funny thing that this issue comes up in this thread yesterday, and then just today my neighbours (who have started taking in some very yappy dogs over the last few months although only for a few days at a time, they seem to be dog-sitting), have got yet another dog at the moment and it was yapping endlessly for about 45 minutes earlier.

 

I can assure you Dr. Zorders it was changed many years ago as I remember being quite outraged at the time being a dog owner myself. I believe it was at the time Windsor was posting a lot about looking after his sister's dog and moaning about it and of course Windsor was the King of Room 101.

[time 8,624]

I'm 1000000000% sure it was "Deathlisters' Pet Hates" a day ago. Because that would make more sense. And then it was changed for comedy purposes by some mod yesterday when Lard started talking about that dog.

 

Funny thing that this issue comes up in this thread yesterday, and then just today my neighbours (who have started taking in some very yappy dogs over the last few months although only for a few days at a time, they seem to be dog-sitting), have got yet another dog at the moment and it was yapping endlessly for about 45 minutes earlier.

 

I can assure you Dr. Zorders it was changed many years ago as I remember being quite outraged at the time being a dog owner myself. I believe it was at the time Windsor was posting a lot about looking after his sister's dog and moaning about it and of course Windsor was the King of Room 101.

As long as I've been a member its been "Deathlisters Hate Pets", though I seem to remember a sub-sub-title of "Windsor's Workplace Woes" or something similar at some point a few years back.

[Bibliogryphon 9,589]

In a recent copy of Metro that I picked up I noticed that there is an advert inviting people to apply to be in the studio audience for ITV's unholy resurrection of Surprise, Surprise with Holly Willoughby.

 

There is a lot of TV that I don't like but my reaction to that is not to watch it but SS I really hate. It is so emotionally manipulative and cringe worthy that I feel angry that everyone else seems to think it is so lovely.

 

I still think a Deathlist show would be less tasteless.

 

The only consolation is that I almost dislike HW as much as I dislike SS.

 

Emma Willis is much better on The Voice than HW but who thought that replacing Rastamouse with 20% (w/w) of JLS would be a good idea is sorely mistaken.

[Body Snatcher 44 107]

Hi, Dr Zorders, I actually live in Glasgow - and five young men have just moved into the flat next door to mine. They are extremely noisy - they have parties every weekend and music blaring through the whole block. I'm getting really sick of it.

 

Quite surprisingly, IF this is a genuine post I actually sympathise with you. I live next door to a stuttering twat that looks like a cross between Wayne Rooney and Graham Norton. He and his wife have no children, but do have a boxer dog that they talk to as if it were a child - 'that's a GOOD GIRL, bring the ball to mummy!' - he scuba dives so is deaf, so turns his stereo and Sega Megadrive up to 11, thus making my bookshelves vibrate. They do this between the hours of about 6pm and 1am, as he 'works from home as a photographer' (read that as 'does fuck all except wank while his wife is at work') - thus meaning that I get to sleep at about 2am, and then wake up again about 5am when they decide it's funny to make their dog start barking. On the weekends (and sometimes in the week) they have friends over and all have sex with each other, and his wife does quite a good impression of a squealing Jack Russell with a strangulated hernia. When his friends come over, they find it acceptable to park across my driveway. One day I am going to kill him. Actually kill him, to death.

 

In the meantime, because I'm a lazy council-working cunt, I have dapped along the work corridor to the planning department, who have confirmed that due to the location of our properties, I am perfectly within my rights to erect a rather high fence in my front garden - this will block most of the daytime sun from his living room. And he can do fuck all about it as he doesn't own the house, and IF his landlord tries to complain (which planning say he can't), I will report him to Revenue and Customs, as I know he does not declare the full amount of rent they pay to him. So they can all suck a big fart right out of my ass.

Post of the year, so far.

If she has sex with loads of men, any chance of puting a good word in for me?

Im trying to remember what its like.

I may be hung like a chinese hamster but ive got nigh on 15 stone to push it in with.

Cheers!!

 

You'd probably catch chlamydia. You'd be better off fucking the boxer dog. Makes less noise too.

 

The thing is, they are skanky cunts too. I've been in their house because when we first moved in, we were actually fairly civil, and we would go round to feed their cat when they were off diving (in the sea). They have a pole (for dancing) in their dining room, and their house FUCKING STINKS. Of course, with hindsight, I should have had a key cut, so that now we are not friends, I could still go in their house and hide kippers behind their radiators, to make the house smell better.

 

Lard Bazaar I can fully sympathise with your current situation as my neighbours are currently hosting another late party in their backyard.