Banshees Scream 110 Posted January 5, 2009 Lard Bazarr acting like a complete idiot I view marriage as a commitment which is not worth making. Why get married? Sure, girls dream of the wedding day but in this modern age I would consider living in sin. I would say that 60% of people in my life have told me marriage is overrated and I believe them. It's a bunch of religious bullshit. I realize some members will moan about how wonderful it is but I have a different opinion. I'll buy the girl a rock (as a sign of commitment) and I'll take her all around Europe or something. No wedding. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,800 Posted January 5, 2009 Lard Bazarr acting like a complete idiot I view marriage as a commitment which is not worth making. Why get married? Sure, girls dream of the wedding day but in this modern age I would consider living in sin. I would say that 60% of people in my life have told me marriage is overrated and I believe them. It's a bunch of religious bullshit. I realize some members will moan about how wonderful it is but I have a different opinion. I'll buy the girl a rock (as a sign of commitment) and I'll take her all around Europe or something. No wedding. I'll tell you what, buy me a cheeseburger and take me round the back of Wetherspoons, and I'm all yours, baby. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Terminator 13 Posted January 5, 2009 I view marriage as a commitment which is not worth making. Why get married? Sure, girls dream of the wedding day but in this modern age I would consider living in sin. I would say that 60% of people in my life have told me marriage is overrated and I believe them. It's a bunch of religious bullshit. I realize some members will moan about how wonderful it is but I have a different opinion. I'll buy the girl a rock (as a sign of commitment) and I'll take her all around Europe or something. No wedding. Are you getting broody in this new year? It sounds like you're some butch girl, hoping to meet a girly life-partner. Who knows, if the right "vegetative-state" woman is available, Jerry Springer might stump up for the honeymoon. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Banshees Scream 110 Posted January 5, 2009 Are you getting broody in this new year? It sounds like you're some butch girl, hoping to meet a girly life-partner. Who knows, if the right "vegetative-state" woman is available, Jerry Springer might stump up for the honeymoon. You know what, I've had enough of this little whining douche bag. We really need an acid pit here on Deathlist.net. Seriously. Hey Terminator, you know who's in the vegetative state? You. Shutting the f**k up would be in your best interest. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,662 Posted January 5, 2009 I'll tell you what, buy me a cheeseburger and take me round the back of Wetherspoons, and I'm all yours, baby. Lardy, you're better than a cheesburger, surely! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted January 5, 2009 Shutting the f**k up would be in your best interest. You should perhaps consider following your own advice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,221 Posted January 5, 2009 Are you getting broody in this new year? It sounds like you're some butch girl, hoping to meet a girly life-partner. Who knows, if the right "vegetative-state" woman is available, Jerry Springer might stump up for the honeymoon. You know what, I've had enough of this little whining douche bag. We really need an acid pit here on Deathlist.net. Seriously. Hey Terminator, you know who's in the vegetative state? You. Shutting the f**k up would be in your best interest. I feel betrayed. Once upon time you used to say those things to me. What happened? Dont you love me anymore? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
honez 79 Posted January 6, 2009 WTF? You surprise me yet again with how your cogs turn BS. I don't know how/where you got that impression of me, but it's incorrect. How does it feel Honez? The first sentence above is my permanent answer to those who labelled me incorrectly this passed summer. How did I receive the impression? I aqquired it after reading a large amount of your posts over the years. You operate on many levels. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to grasp the fact that you, Honez, is on another level then the vast majority. I think the impression is that you have presented yourself as a very intelligent human being. The "solving equations impression" wasn't a bad gimmick even as it's false. It's not so much that, it's your "hunting fresh meat" comment that has me flummoxed. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
honez 79 Posted January 6, 2009 Lard Bazarr acting like a complete idiot I view marriage as a commitment which is not worth making. Why get married? Sure, girls dream of the wedding day but in this modern age I would consider living in sin. I would say that 60% of people in my life have told me marriage is overrated and I believe them. It's a bunch of religious bullshit. I realize some members will moan about how wonderful it is but I have a different opinion. I'll buy the girl a rock (as a sign of commitment) and I'll take her all around Europe or something. No wedding. I'll tell you what, buy me a cheeseburger and take me round the back of Wetherspoons, and I'm all yours, baby. My new mental image of Lardy as a LOLcat... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madame Defarge 21 Posted January 6, 2009 There's a Lolcat out there for all of us, honez. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TAFKAG 70 Posted February 23, 2010 The Monkeys 2009 It’s that time – tonight’s the night that Deathlisters honour their own. Are we all wearing our best bib and tuckers?* After the runaway success of Banshees Scream in several categories the last time around, the Scream had a quieter year in 2008, much to the relief of his fellow posters and therapist. This was a record-matching year for the DL in its predictions, reflecting the professionalism and thoroughness that underpins the forum. Nowhere was this more evident than in the predictive posting of Devon Death Trip whose suggestions in “Ideas and possibilities” were keeling over before the ink was dry on his posts. Where does he find them? Wherever it is, it delivered success in the Derby Deadpool and means that he retains the Poster of the Year accolade in the Monkeys (not for deadpool success, the panel hastens to add, but for his unhealthy devotion to deadpooling on the DL). Again due to popular demand there is the coveted Monkey for Most Entertaining Poster. There were many quality contenders. The double-act of Lard Bazaar and LFN gelled well. The sharp wit of Honez deserves a mention and so too does the gentle quirkiness of Dave to the Grave. But for his steady stream of chucklesome posts the Most Entertaining Monkey is the one and only Anubis The Jackal (even without his ******). Among the newcomers TAFKAG, welcomed here by the much pissed missed Star Crossed, Deadtowrites and BC Alum have become regular posters. BC Alum showed a few Banshee-like traits and he was nominated for a special category “tease of the year” that puzzled the panel somewhat, but not a few others. The newcomer who seemed to create the strongest impression, striking the right tone in her posts, was Dia de los Muertos who was quickly alerted to the threat of stalkers - see comments. She is Newcomer of the Year. By popular request we also have a Put Down of the Year Monkey this year and this goes to the DL’s “national treasure” Mr Bruno Brimley who became rather irked when LFN decided he was really Banshee Scream. Well wouldn’t anyone? There were many nominations for Death of the Year including the obvious candidates such as Paul Newman and Sir Edmund Hillary, fine choices both. But, this being the Monkeys, it was felt that due consideration should go to those who had made a distinctive contribution to life's rich tapestry (cut the hyperbole, Ed). Studs Terkel and Bobby Fischer came close. Solzhenitsyn might have won a Monkey for the least pronounceable name. But two names stood out and choosing between them was difficult. Neither Oliver Postgate nor Humphrey Lyttleton ever graced the Deathlist but they should have done. Lyttleton, with his wicked sense of humour, wins it, an honorary deathlister if ever there was one. There were a few good rants this year. Like this. Windsor almost made Room 101 his own thread. LFN featured strongly again but as stress began to show, a few of us, it seems from the strength of the nominations, were entertained by the tones of desperation in Odstock’s post here. So he wins the Rant of the Year Monkey. The picture association thread in its various incantations proved a hit this year, not with everyone, but with many. So it is Thread of the Year. The panel decided not to award an avatar Monkey this year. Best Post Monkey goes to Honez, not just for the one post here, but for the way he helped to transform an unpromising thread about the perceived threat of the large hadron collider in to one of the liveliest of 2008. Best link posted by Lady Grendel. Joke of the Year: MPFC was once again responsible for some of the best and the worst. This one was a strong contender. But Phantom snatched it with this. There isn’t a Monkey for moderators but if there were the winner would be Lady Grendel. Death of the year: Humphrey Lyttleton Thread of the year: Picture Association Poster of the year: Devon Death Trip Most entertaining poster: Anubis the Jackal Best newcomer: Dia de los Muertos Best Post: Honez Rant of the year: Octopus of Odstock Put down of the year: Bruno Brimley Best link: Lady Grendel Joke of the year: Phantom Mentions in dispatches: There should be a special mention for LFN for organising the DL convention again. The panel noted earlier the online chemistry of LFN and Lardy whose bum-baring threats, amusingly outrageous posts, often at the expense of herself, have done much to raise the tone of the site. For those who are left Monkyless look no further than Peter O’Toole who has never won an Oscar. There ain’t no justice. A note from the sponsors: The Monkeys has hardly been going long enough to become a fixture here and this is the last year that it will be compiled by the existing panel. If anyone (apart from Banshees Scream who is not eligible) would like to take on the clerk’s job next year please feel free. The only qualification is an appreciation of the quirkiness of the Deathlist and a willingness to be arsed (as opposed to can’t be arsed). Short of that, these posts might be allowed to drift in to the nether world of forgotten threads. Reluctantly for him, Godot is going away for a while, presently, to the land of the Oogum Biglows where he will try his damndest not to lurk or peak but that will be difficult. *NB. Acceptance speeches are welcome but try to keep them short and no tears please. PS. This post has taken all f*****g day. So Godot has returned from his travels, but has he brought a sackful of Monkeys along or have they fallen victim to the economic downturn? On the off chance, I've acquired a beautiful strapless Roberto Cavalli off-white gown and put my PR machine on orange alert. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted March 7, 2010 Sorry Taff, but viewing figures had been falling and the panel just couldn't get its act together this year. As it was it was left to me to do most of the work and what with having bugger all to do all day I just haven't managed to fit it in to the schedule. But if anyone does have any nominations for a shortened list of categories (top post/er etc) just ping me a PM or post it in this thread and the Monkeys panel will see what can be done. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
death_master_bob 0 Posted March 25, 2010 Lard Bazarr acting like a complete idiot I view marriage as a commitment which is not worth making. Why get married? Sure, girls dream of the wedding day but in this modern age I would consider living in sin. I would say that 60% of people in my life have told me marriage is overrated and I believe them. It's a bunch of religious bullshit. I realize some members will moan about how wonderful it is but I have a different opinion. I'll buy the girl a rock (as a sign of commitment) and I'll take her all around Europe or something. No wedding. I'll tell you what, buy me a cheeseburger and take me round the back of Wetherspoons, and I'm all yours, baby. My new mental image of Lardy as a LOLcat... Thank you for the suggestion, I had been wondering what to have for dinner and now I know. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handrejka 1,904 Posted March 25, 2010 Lard Bazarr acting like a complete idiot I view marriage as a commitment which is not worth making. Why get married? Sure, girls dream of the wedding day but in this modern age I would consider living in sin. I would say that 60% of people in my life have told me marriage is overrated and I believe them. It's a bunch of religious bullshit. I realize some members will moan about how wonderful it is but I have a different opinion. I'll buy the girl a rock (as a sign of commitment) and I'll take her all around Europe or something. No wedding. I'll tell you what, buy me a cheeseburger and take me round the back of Wetherspoons, and I'm all yours, baby. My new mental image of Lardy as a LOLcat... Thank you for the suggestion, I had been wondering what to have for dinner and now I know. Cheeseburger or pussy? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Magere Hein 1,400 Posted March 26, 2010 Thank you for the suggestion, I had been wondering what to have for dinner and now I know.Cheeseburger or pussy? Or both: a burger containing both cat and cheese. Or one made of beef and cheese made from cat's milk. I've never eaten cat, so I don't know if it's any good. A friend of mine (now dead) claimed he ate one in 1945 (when under Nazi occupation the food supply in Holland was almost non-existent) and reported that it was quite chewy and tasted rather like hare. regards, Hein Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Star Crossed 33 Posted March 26, 2010 Thank you for the suggestion, I had been wondering what to have for dinner and now I know. Cheeseburger or pussy? Or both: a burger containing both cat and cheese. Or one made of beef and cheese made from cat's milk. I've never eaten cat, so I don't know if it's any good. A friend of mine (now dead) claimed he ate one in 1945 (when under Nazi occupation the food supply in Holland was almost non-existent) and reported that it was quite chewy and tasted rather like hare. regards, Hein Hein enters the fray as dead-cert winner of a 2010 Monkey for 'Most Ironic Post'. MH, I take my hat off to that one. If he'd said it tasted like haddock, I'd have soiled myself laughing. Or, indeed, if his friend had died from eating pussy. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
