Godot 149 Posted April 9, 2008 there was a woman serving behind the counter who had a webbed neck. If only she had been spotted by an Olympic swimming coach - a glorious future wasted. Being blessed with a webbed neck and a squid beak she'd have been able to swim The Man from Atlantis into the, erm, ground. It would have been Olympic gold for Dewsbury for sure, if it wasn't for the "accident" with the filleting knife, beer batter and fryer. "It was how she wanted to go," her husband said; "Two quid a portion and wrapped in the Sunday Sport." Yes, and without her I expect he had to settle for a dead squid on those lonely nights. Necrosquidia; there's a lot of it goes on apparently. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,706 Posted May 3, 2008 Ladies and Gentlemen, Happy 1st Birthday to the All-Singing All-Dancing Madeleine McCann Media Extravaganza. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anubis the Jackal 77 Posted May 6, 2008 Do you think they're annoyed that they've just lost the All-Europe Hide and Seek championship to the unfancied Austrians? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,803 Posted May 6, 2008 This story about the couple who got pissed up and had their kids put into care overnight in Portugal has got me shitting a brick. I'm going to Turkey in August on an all inclusive, with my kids - I had planned on sitting by the pool getting blotto every day on own-brand whiskey - now it looks like I'll have to leave the little blighters home alone and locked in the garage to avoid social services getting on my case. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cowboy Ronnie 78 Posted May 7, 2008 Do you think they're annoyed that they've just lost the All-Europe Hide and Seek championship to the unfancied Austrians?  Unfancied? I thought the Austrians were reigning champs.  Going underground  Either them or Belgium  an infamous Belgian Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,684 Posted May 7, 2008 Either way, they're competing for the Anne Frank trophy, right? Â And some of this lot may have turned in a better performance. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TAFKAG 70 Posted May 7, 2008 Maybe time for a revival of Jeux Sans Frontières (Ou Fenêtres).  It'd give " " a whole new frisson, non? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anubis the Jackal 77 Posted May 7, 2008 Maybe time for a revival of Jeux Sans Frontières (Ou Fenêtres). It'd give " " a whole new frisson, NEE?   Edited by the Flemish Liberation Front. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
hellkat 3 Posted May 8, 2008 I'd like to apply for the Terrible Parent Abroad Trophy, if possible. Â I admit it: only just this weekend, I left my daughter* sleeping alone for several hours in a hotel in Pescara on Monday morning, whilst I scarpered off with a jaunty Italian gentleman for several hours. Â *(although it has to be said, she is 20, and she was sleeping off a serious hangover) Â Â We did return in time for lunch, during which time I plied her with stodgy food to cure the hangover. Â Do I get a prize? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,684 Posted July 1, 2008 Search for Elephant in the DL room may be officially ended soon. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,684 Posted August 12, 2008 Elephant in the room time again, there's loads of sightings being reported in the UK press and more than a little evidence to suggest the Portuguese police were bumbling and their UK counterparts had a hunch about what was going on. So, I'd say, there's a fair chance our girl is still alive out there. Â What do our readers think? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted August 12, 2008 Elephant in the room time again, there's loads of sightings being reported in the UK press and more than a little evidence to suggest the Portuguese police were bumbling and their UK counterparts had a hunch about what was going on. So, I'd say, there's a fair chance our girl is still alive out there. Â What do our readers think? All red herrings, all bollocks, tabloidfest. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,684 Posted August 12, 2008 All red herrings, all bollocks, tabloidfest. Â Mostly, I think. But it's obvious the British police suspected early on that this was a stolen to order abduction and that Belgium was the destination intended. They had intelligence about something along those lines and it's certainly possible they put this kidnap into that picture without the hard proof. But it's also possible that the Portuguese police were inept to the point that key evidence was lost or destroyed. Granted, the tabloids can find any joker with a fleeting sighting of a child and build it up beyond all reason but some of the stuff now being reported had been languishing, ignored, in police files without an embellishment from the press. Â Either way, this one's got legs. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TAFKAG 70 Posted December 4, 2008 Not sure that Shannon Matthews, the missing 9-year-old Dewsbury girl, merits her own thread so I'll tack this to discussion of another girl that was murdered by one or both of her parents hasn't been seen for a while.There are a few things about the Shannon story that make me think that the mother may very well have ... ... um, so what's the deal with DL [strike-through notwithstanding] and libel law? Er ... The England-France game today was good. Regan's foul was awful, though. Um, weather forecast for South-East England OK for tomorrow morning, but rain expected later in the day... Â Good work, Inspector Alphonsin. To no-one's great surprise, the mother done it. Â Haven't heard much about Maddy recently. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anubis the Jackal 77 Posted December 4, 2008 Haven't heard much about Maddy recently. Â Oh, she's still dead. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
themaninblack 2,112 Posted December 4, 2008 Not sure that Shannon Matthews, the missing 9-year-old Dewsbury girl, merits her own thread so I'll tack this to discussion of another girl that was murdered by one or both of her parents hasn't been seen for a while.There are a few things about the Shannon story that make me think that the mother may very well have ... ... um, so what's the deal with DL [strike-through notwithstanding] and libel law? Er ... The England-France game today was good. Regan's foul was awful, though. Um, weather forecast for South-East England OK for tomorrow morning, but rain expected later in the day... Â Good work, Inspector Alphonsin. To no-one's great surprise, the mother done it. Â Haven't heard much about Maddy recently. Â ITV News headline: Social Workers to blame. Â Not mentioning that the media fell for the whole scheme hook, line and sinker off the back of the 'Madeline' debacle! Â Hycopcritical bastards the lot of them.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Monoclinic 39 Posted May 2, 2009 Kate and Gerry have released a picture of what Maddie (I'm dead) McCann may look like 2 years on from her "abduction". Â Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,684 Posted May 22, 2009 Perjuring police chief convicted. Great news all round eh? McCann's vindicated and guaranteed part for a good character actor in the inevitable movie. or summat. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,684 Posted May 28, 2009 Speaking of character parts, the dying paedophile has given a DNA sample. Â Not guilty, then? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,684 Posted June 7, 2009 Raymond Hewlett 'saw' Maddie twice. Â Now then, either we've got one in the frame at last or.......this sad excuse hasn't been dealing from a full-deck for decades and he's loving some police attention and probably a few free biscuits. Whaddya reckon? British press notably muted at the mo, suggested they're with the second option. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madcow 6 Posted August 5, 2009 I see that they're moving the hunt to Australia now. Well, the weather has been crap here and I'm sure Kate & Gerry could do with a holiday. Better leave the twins behind though - you know what dingos can be like when they find unattended children! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madcow 6 Posted August 5, 2009 I see that they're moving the hunt to Australia now. Well, the weather has been crap here and I'm sure Kate & Gerry could do with a holiday. Better leave the twins behind though - you know what dingos can be like when they find unattended children! You really are a stupid c.u.n.t aren't you. absolutely. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted August 6, 2009 I see that they're moving the hunt to Australia now. Well, the weather has been crap here and I'm sure Kate & Gerry could do with a holiday. Better leave the twins behind though - you know what dingos can be like when they find unattended children! You really are a stupid c.u.n.t aren't you. absolutely. What a tiresomely predictable response. It absolves you of nothing except originality. Are we going to get an explanation for the these vituperative posts Tempus? Is Madcow your estranged Missus or something? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites