charon 4,943 Posted October 1, 2013 Don't know which thread for this but as it makes me happy....here it is. Heard of an android free app called show box. Free us TV shows that you can download in HQ to your phone. It was deleted from the playstore after a week so I assume its a jail broken something, but I found it on the developers site this morning. Works like a charm so a hq last nights breaking bad awaits after the footie. Downloaded from http://show-box.me/ but mind data charges if you use your network. One ep was about a gig.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Banshees Scream 110 Posted October 8, 2013 I take this October darkness very seriously. The darker it gets the less you can see. Everyone is going down. That's right. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rotten Ali 600 Posted October 9, 2013 I take this October darkness very seriously. The darker it gets the less you can see. Everyone is going down. That's right. I was under the impression I was coming up! Still, I'm glad you are here to lighten our day! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218 Posted October 9, 2013 I take this October darkness very seriously. The darker it gets the less you can see. Everyone is going down. That's right. Brilliant. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted November 22, 2013 A letter from Werner Herzog to his cleaning lady Rosalina. Woman. You constantly revile me with your singular lack of vision. Be aware, there is an essential truth and beauty in all things. From the death throes of a speared gazelle to the damaged smile of a freeway homeless. But that does not mean that the invisibility of something implies its lack of being. Though simpleton babies foolishly believe the person before them vanishes when they cover their eyes during a hateful game of peek-a-boo, this is a fallacy. And so it is that the unseen dusty build up that accumulates behind the DVD shelves in the rumpus room exists also. This is unacceptable. I will tell you this Rosalina, not as a taunt or a threat but as an evocation of joy. The joy of nothingness, the joy of the real. I want you to be real in everything you do. If you cannot be real, then a semblance of reality must be maintained. A real semblance of the fake real, or “real”. I have conquered volcanoes and visited the bitter depths of the earth’s oceans. Nothing I have witnessed, from lava to crustacean, assailed me liked the caked debris haunting that small plastic soap hammock in the smaller of the bathrooms. Nausea is not a sufficient word. In this regard, you are not being real. Now we must turn to the horrors of nature. I am afraid this is inevitable. Nature is not something to be coddled and accepted and held to your bosom like a wounded snake. Tell me, what was there before you were born? What do you remember? That is nature. Nature is a void. An emptiness. A vacuum. And speaking of vacuum, I am not sure you’re using the retractable nozzle correctly or applying the ‘full weft’ setting when attending to the lush carpets of the den. I found some dander there. I have only listened to two songs in my entire life. One was an aria by Wagner that I played compulsively from the ages of 19 to 27 at least 60 times a day until the local townsfolk drove me from my dwelling using rudimentary pitchforks and blazing torches. The other was Dido. Both appalled me to the point of paralysis. Every quaver was like a brickbat against my soul. Music is futile and malicious. So please, if you require entertainment while organizing the recycling, refrain from the ‘pop radio’ I was affronted by recently. May I recommend the recitation of some sharp verse. Perhaps by Goethe. Or Schiller. Or Shel Silverstein at a push. The situation regarding spoons remains unchanged. If I see one, I will kill it. That is all. Do not fail to think that you are not the finest woman I have ever met. You are. And I am including on this list my mother and the wife of Brad Dourif (the second wife, not the one with the lip thing). Thank you for listening and sorry if parts of this note were smudged. I have been weeping. Your money is under the guillotine. Herzog. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted January 5, 2014 makes me smile anyhoo......... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest David Posted January 31, 2014 My holiday in Spain two years ago - where I met the former Man City keeper Bert Trautmann. What a lovely, genuine bloke. He was the most charming and friendly guy I've ever met abroad. My girlfriend and I were thrilled when he took us out for a drink and a meal - and were both very saddened to hear that four days after, Bert died. RIP, Bert. A wonderful keeper and a cracking good bloke. Sleep tight. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted January 31, 2014 My holiday in Spain two years ago - where I met the former Man City keeper Bert Trautmann. What a lovely, genuine bloke. He was the most charming and friendly guy I've ever met abroad. My girlfriend and I were thrilled when he took us out for a drink and a meal - and were both very saddened to hear that four days after, Bert died. RIP, Bert. A wonderful keeper and a cracking good bloke. Sleep tight. He shouldn't have had that paella. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest David Posted January 31, 2014 Hi, LardBazaar. We didn't have paella - we went to a British restaurant - and all three of us had sausage and chips. Four days after, Bert had a heart attack and died - it was his age that brought it on. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dr. Zorders 1,271 Posted January 31, 2014 He died last year, not two years ago. Not to be a pedant or anything. Er actually, I am being a pedant, but....... whatever. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted January 31, 2014 Hi, LardBazaar. We didn't have paella - we went to a British restaurant - and all three of us had sausage and chips. Four days after, Bert had a heart attack and died - it was his age that brought it on. Why, why, just fucking why, would you go to Spain to visit a Brit eatery???? Bert, as a German, I can understand...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest David Posted January 31, 2014 Hi, Charon. We went to the English restaurant because my girlfriend can't eat garlic - it makes her sick. A lot of Brits head for the British bars and eateries. We actually met Bert and his wife twice in Spain - the first time was the year before he died - and then again just four days before he passed away. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted January 31, 2014 Hi, Charon. We went to the English restaurant because my girlfriend can't eat garlic - it makes her sick. A lot of Brits head for the British bars and eateries. We actually met Bert and his wife twice in Spain - the first time was the year before he died - and then again just four days before he passed away. Nae offence, but why go abroad? Garlic is a poor excuse, you get it in most things nowadays. ^^^^ Speaking as am auld man who made it to the Free State and Norn a couple of times in my yoof, and En@land 4 times, has a passport and no intention of using it...................... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Banshees Scream 110 Posted February 1, 2014 Hm so a restaurant so luxurious that garlic is not served and the chefs in the kitchen do not serve garlic as a tribute to longtime regular Burt who was allergic to garlic and it was his favorite dine-out. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest David Posted February 6, 2014 The 1996 ad for Ikea - Chuck Out Your Chintz. There's a scene where a woman throws her old bed down the stairs - and it doesn't leave a mark on the wall. The woman who I bought my flat from did that - and I had to pay £750 to get the passage replastered - which meant I had to wait another month before I could move in. She still lives in the block - and we often have a laugh about it - although i wasn't so thrilled at having to pay for the damage she had caused. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted February 6, 2014 David, you know my stance on nuisance neighbours. Go up to her flat, kick the door down and shoot the bitch in the face. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,569 Posted February 7, 2014 David, you know my stance on nuisance neighbours. Go up to her flat, kick the door down and shoot the bitch in the face. Lard's contribution to the Big Society Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tempus Fugit 214 Posted February 16, 2014 Jonathan Meades, a presenter who assumes his viewers are reasonably intelligent and literate. Unlike the majority of current presenters, who assume their viewers are educationally subnormal. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dr. Zorders 1,271 Posted February 16, 2014 So you were watching that thing about Brutalist architecture? Treating your audience like grown-ups is one thing but that guy seemed determined to cram absolutely every sentence with as many different obscure conceptual terms and references as fucking possible...... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted February 28, 2014 The Northern Lights, fucking awesome. nicked from my fb, some of last nights show......might be good again tonight Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gunjaman5000 30 Posted March 12, 2014 Gunjaboy's friend's mother asked her son what LOL means as the boys have the mildly annoying habit of saying it at every nerve grating opportunity. "Lots of love mum" the chum told her. A few weeks later when a family friend died and the mother said "Oh you poor thing. LOL." at the funeral. Laugh? I nearly shat myself. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tempus Fugit 214 Posted March 12, 2014 Being suspended, on full pay, from work. Bonus holiday! This is the 4th time I've been suspended, last time it was for 6 weeks, now that was a lovely holiday. I love the FCO. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,129 Posted May 20, 2014 A, er, review of the latest Coldplay album. Top class ranting. Enjoy! http://thequietus.co...-stories-review I was going to quote a bit, but there's so much to choose from 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted May 20, 2014 A, er, review of the latest Coldplay album. Top class ranting. Enjoy! http://thequietus.co...-stories-review I was going to quote a bit, but there's so much to choose from by ''Mr Agreeable'' Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,569 Posted May 27, 2014 Things that I like (in response to discussion on What did you watch on TV....?: Kate Bush Doctor Who Lists Radio 4 Lord of the Rings (Book not film) The BBC My family (my real family not the lame sitcom) Shakespeare Books (real ones with pages and everything) Pizza 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
