Room Lovely, Look You.

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

Pick of the Pops on a Sunday afternoon, with my feet under the duvet, and the kids baking scones downstairs. Today is a shiny fivepence nestling in the pile of poo that is my usual existence.

[CarolAnn 924]

BS, if you had a clue you would know it is possible to get angry without being manic. QED.

[honez 79]

he reaction that I'm getting is everyones way of saying "I'm fat and my brain ain't well" and I don't want hear it anymore ...

Interesting to note that your only measure of bodily health is being fat or not.

If that were the case then there should be no skinny people in hospital then.

[Anubis the Jackal 76]

Charlie Brooker.

 

His review of Noel Edmonds latest tellyshit almost managed the impossible tasks of a) Making me watch the tidy-bearded shitsucker and Making me feel sorry for him.

 

Almost managed...

[Windsor 2,143]

Just finished the 1st draft of my dissertation.

 

I say 1st draft...but nothing much will be changing. So longs as it passes, I'll get a 2:1, thus there is no incentive for any further work. (Although I'm sure I'll be able to proof read it before its due on the 30th).

 

I will be happy for the next 10 minutes at least.

[honez 79]

Just finished the 1st draft of my dissertation.

 

I say 1st draft...but nothing much will be changing. So longs as it passes, I'll get a 2:1, thus there is no incentive for any further work. (Although I'm sure I'll be able to proof read it before its due on the 30th).

 

I will be happy for the next 10 minutes at least.

If you post it here, you're sure to get plenty of proof-reading and free advice, Windsor.

[Windsor 2,143]

Just finished the 1st draft of my dissertation.

 

I say 1st draft...but nothing much will be changing. So longs as it passes, I'll get a 2:1, thus there is no incentive for any further work. (Although I'm sure I'll be able to proof read it before its due on the 30th).

 

I will be happy for the next 10 minutes at least.

If you post it here, you're sure to get plenty of proof-reading and free advice, Windsor.

 

Indeed, I'm sure it would.

It would be hacked to bits, I'd end up a nervous wreck, and I'd end up jumping in front of a bus.

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

Grease. What a great film. Just had a good old sing song on the sofa with Youngest Lard. Never tire of watching it. Good clean Sunday afternoon fun.

[Guest Guest]

Grease. What a great film. Just had a good old sing song on the sofa with Youngest Lard. Never tire of watching it. Good clean Sunday afternoon fun.

Errr you think Grease is clean?

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

Whiskey and i buprofen. I will win the wisdom tooth war.

[VSBfromH 74]

 

Brings a smile to my face every time I watch this!

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

 

Brings a smile to my face every time I watch this!

 

Now, speaking as one that dances like she just won at the Special Olympics (Copyright Robbie Williams), that was brilliant! Not one step was in time to the music! Boys really are rubbish at dancing. I love dancing. I regularly dance my way through my living room while Youngest Lard shouts at me to 'stop being so embarrassing mum'. In fact only last night (with the help of Jack) did I wobble my way through Hung Up by Madonna, whilst YL cringed on the sofa begging me to give her the number of the Child Protection Department.

[Canadian Paul 93]

 

Brings a smile to my face every time I watch this!

 

Now, speaking as one that dances like she just won at the Special Olympics (Copyright Robbie Williams), that was brilliant! Not one step was in time to the music! Boys really are rubbish at dancing. I love dancing. I regularly dance my way through my living room while Youngest Lard shouts at me to 'stop being so embarrassing mum'. In fact only last night (with the help of Jack) did I wobble my way through Hung Up by Madonna, whilst YL cringed on the sofa begging me to give her the number of the Child Protection Department.

 

was pretty good though... personally I would have been more impressed if he had tap danced on roller blades instead of roller skates though.

[Windsor 2,143]

Whahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....hahahahaha.

 

With Jade Goody dead, and these two separated, surely it means the end of those shitty celebrity programmes on Living TV (or whatever the call the f*****g channel these days).

 

That just leaves Katona, and lets face it, nobody really gives a sh*t about Katona!

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

Whahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....hahahahaha.

 

With Jade Goody dead, and these two separated, surely it means the end of those shitty celebrity programmes on Living TV (or whatever the call the f*****g channel these days).

 

That just leaves Katona, and lets face it, nobody really gives a sh*t about Katona!

 

 

Don't be fooled, Winny love. Next week the mags will be filled with 'Peter's heartbreak', 'Katie's despair', and 'Ginger Ugly Kid's soiled nappy', then, give it a month and it will be 'Katie and Peter's tearful reunion', 'Wedding Vows Renewed', 'New Ugly Baby Joy for Katie and Peter', 'Peter takes a dump', blah blah blah...

 

I don't like her, but I'd give him one, if he asked nicely.

[honez 79]

Whahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha....hahahahaha.

 

With Jade Goody dead, and these two separated, surely it means the end of those shitty celebrity programmes on Living TV (or whatever the call the f*****g channel these days).

 

That just leaves Katona, and lets face it, nobody really gives a sh*t about Katona!

 

 

Don't be fooled, Winny love. Next week the mags will be filled with 'Peter's heartbreak', 'Katie's despair', and 'Ginger Ugly Kid's soiled nappy', then, give it a month and it will be 'Katie and Peter's tearful reunion', 'Wedding Vows Renewed', 'New Ugly Baby Joy for Katie and Peter', 'Peter takes a dump', blah blah blah...

 

I don't like her, but I'd give him one, if he asked nicely.

Judging by your avatar, LB, you could give him two.

 

(Incidentally, I'm glad you went for the close-cropped option on that pic. A wider angle would likely loosen my lunch.)

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

Cheating husbands getting exactly what they deserve, i.e. f'uck all.

 

I love it when a plan comes together.

 

 

He's also, so far, forgotten to apply for decree absolute, and I'm pretty certain he's itching to get married again. Guess who's going to stand up when the 'does any person here present know of any just cause why these two f'uckwits should not be joined in geriatric matrimony'?

[Monoclinic 39]

Cheating husbands getting exactly what they deserve, i.e. f'uck all.

 

I love it when a plan comes together.

 

 

He's also, so far, forgotten to apply for decree absolute, and I'm pretty certain he's itching to get married again. Guess who's going to stand up when the 'does any person here present know of any just cause why these two f'uckwits should not be joined in geriatric matrimony'?

 

Before you plot your coup de grâce could I draw your attention to Section 57 of the Offences against the Person Act 1861:

 

Whosoever, being married, shall marry any other person during the life of the former husband or wife, whether the second marriage shall have taken place in England or Ireland or elsewhere, shall be guilty of felony, and being convicted thereof shall be liable to be kept in penal servitude for any term not exceeding seven years ... : Provided, that nothing in this section contained shall extend to any second marriage contracted elsewhere than in England and Ireland by any other than a subject of Her Majesty, or to any person marrying a second time whose husband or wife shall have been continually absent from such person for the space of seven years then last past, and shall not have been known by such person to be living within that time, or shall extend to any person who, at the time of such second marriage, shall have been divorced from the bond of the first marriage, or to any person whose former marriage shall have been declared void by the sentence of any court of competent jurisdiction.

 

The bit in bold might persuade you to have a long term plan here. Say what if on the day you happened to be "struck down" with a bad case of laryngitis preventing any sudden outbursts. It would indeed only be right and just to notify the proper authorities after the crime had been perpetrated. I mean why go for a slapped wrist when you could have much more fun?

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

Cheating husbands getting exactly what they deserve, i.e. f'uck all.

 

I love it when a plan comes together.

 

 

He's also, so far, forgotten to apply for decree absolute, and I'm pretty certain he's itching to get married again. Guess who's going to stand up when the 'does any person here present know of any just cause why these two f'uckwits should not be joined in geriatric matrimony'?

 

Before you plot your coup de grâce could I draw your attention to Section 57 of the Offences against the Person Act 1861:

 

Whosoever, being married, shall marry any other person during the life of the former husband or wife, whether the second marriage shall have taken place in England or Ireland or elsewhere, shall be guilty of felony, and being convicted thereof shall be liable to be kept in penal servitude for any term not exceeding seven years ... : Provided, that nothing in this section contained shall extend to any second marriage contracted elsewhere than in England and Ireland by any other than a subject of Her Majesty, or to any person marrying a second time whose husband or wife shall have been continually absent from such person for the space of seven years then last past, and shall not have been known by such person to be living within that time, or shall extend to any person who, at the time of such second marriage, shall have been divorced from the bond of the first marriage, or to any person whose former marriage shall have been declared void by the sentence of any court of competent jurisdiction.

 

The bit in bold might persuade you to have a long term plan here. Say what if on the day you happened to be "struck down" with a bad case of laryngitis preventing any sudden outbursts. It would indeed only be right and just to notify the proper authorities after the crime had been perpetrated. I mean why go for a slapped wrist when you could have much more fun?

 

Now, my friend Jane said this - why not just wait till after the fact and do him for bigamy, and you both may have a point - but I'm a spontaneous kinda girl and doing it at the actual wedding would make such a good story to tell in years to come - how I snuck in quietly at the back, noticed by nobody, and at the opportune moment, swept down the aisle in a wave of high drama!

 

And, if he's banged up, he won't be earning any money so I won't get any child maintenance. And, I wonder, exactly how many people have actually been imprisoned for bigamy? Not many, according to this

[Toast 14,844]

This was a magnificent effort, but obviously you'd need to pick your own song.

[Godot 148]

Women tennis players.

 

 

 

Well it's such a hot day!

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

Women tennis players.

 

You're right. I wish I was as attractive as a woman tennis player.

 

[CarolAnn 924]

Sometimes the Muppets hit it head on.

 

[Monoclinic 39]

Don't think me strange but I vote for watching random people doing random things. Or just putting oddballs in here for their entertainment value. Now being the inquisitive sort this could equally go in room 101 as you never quite know WHY they do the things they do.

 

Today on the train a couple of rows in front of me were an oldish couple. Already in a bay of four the gentleman decided to sit diagonally behind the lady but would incessently go back and forth to fiddle with the bags throughout the hour I was aboard. Here is the action I found most bizarre: In his own private bay of seats he produced a can of Coke Zero and another 500 mL bottle 5/8 th full of what looked like Coke Zero again. Each of these bottles were in clear plastic bags. He rummaged around for a key to open the ringpull then poured in some of the contents to the Coke bottle then after another faff produced a 500 mL bottle of water which was about 1/2 drunk. He poured in some water to the now topped up bottle of coke but it still looked like Coke. To the bottle of water he added the rest of the can of Coke. This took on the colour of a Long Island iced tea, which is undoubtedly a favourite of mine (when accompanied with all its *white spirits* and sours and not in this case water). He examined the colours in turn and then took a long drink from both bottles before wrapping them back up in their bags. At this point I was a bit miffed he wasn't going to pour them into each other to even up the concentrations.

 

Anyway, for room lovely I'd like to put in strangers as there's nowt so queer as folks. Even if hell is other people, from a distance they're really quite funny.

[Godot 148]

Don't think me strange but I vote for watching random people doing random things. Or just putting oddballs in here for their entertainment value. Now being the inquisitive sort this could equally go in room 101 as you never quite know WHY they do the things they do.

 

Today on the train a couple of rows in front of me were an oldish couple. Already in a bay of four the gentleman decided to sit diagonally behind the lady but would incessently go back and forth to fiddle with the bags throughout the hour I was aboard. Here is the action I found most bizarre: In his own private bay of seats he produced a can of Coke Zero and another 500 mL bottle 5/8 th full of what looked like Coke Zero again. Each of these bottles were in clear plastic bags. He rummaged around for a key to open the ringpull then poured in some of the contents to the Coke bottle then after another faff produced a 500 mL bottle of water which was about 1/2 drunk. He poured in some water to the now topped up bottle of coke but it still looked like Coke. To the bottle of water he added the rest of the can of Coke. This took on the colour of a Long Island iced tea, which is undoubtedly a favourite of mine (when accompanied with all its *white spirits* and sours and not in this case water). He examined the colours in turn and then took a long drink from both bottles before wrapping them back up in their bags. At this point I was a bit miffed he wasn't going to pour them into each other to even up the concentrations.

 

Anyway, for room lovely I'd like to put in strangers as there's nowt so queer as folks. Even if hell is other people, from a distance they're really quite funny.

Mono, he was probably an actor rehearsing a part in a Beckett play. In fact that was probably the whole play.