charon 4,938 Posted October 8, 2017 Much of the enjoyment one gets at work, is out of habitually deriding ones colleagues. A 'challenged' boy I work with gave me great amusement on Friday re his mothers holiday in Spain. Over there on her own, 56 year old wifie, days spent on bus trips etc. Old folk stuff. His main concern during the week was his much illicit tobacco she was bringing back. Until she missed the flight back on Thursday. And the one after. And the one on Friday , Pished at the airport Then I get this message today... Well ******, works looking dubious for monday, me and the wee fella are over east looking after various animals (dont bother with the sexual innuendos lol), michelle is ready to head to malaga if we get contact from the mong, last we heard was 8am this morning (Saturday our time) some hotel took her in off the street and let her sleep in the lobby but dayshift told her to fuck off, havent heard anything since and the spanish 5 0 are like manana This week is going to be TREMENDOUS. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,938 Posted October 9, 2017 As stated, TREMENDOUS. I was wrong first flight home was Wednesday last week. He didn't show for work today but got the papers in instead , mother found by politzi this afternoon, sans jewellery and shoes. 5 days extra on the tare at 56 Oh, and as his mother has a job that requires disclosure, the retard may have just got her sacked. I love my work at times, in the olden days they emptied the prisons and asylums for cannon fodder for the English Queen. Now, they send them to us. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tempus Fugit 212 Posted October 9, 2017 Aldi's Bellucci Créme Caramel £4.69 for 50cl, just tried this stuff and it's fucking gorgeous, the liqueur equivalent of opiates. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tempus Fugit 212 Posted October 9, 2017 26 minutes ago, Tempus Fugit said: Aldi's Bellucci Créme Caramel £4.69 for 50cl, just tried this stuff and it's fucking gorgeous, the liqueur equivalent of opiates. Add a Percocet 10mg and a bottle of this stuff and you are good to go, oh yes indeedy. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted October 11, 2017 13 hours ago, Lard Bazaar said: Thats just fucking wrong but funny. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted October 11, 2017 There are people out there whose kindness, warmth and general manner make grumpy old bastards like me smile. Well that and my Granddaughter. 4 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
philheybrookbay 439 Posted October 16, 2017 Ahhhh Getting a suntan in October and cheap drinkable Greek wine Whilst my poor friends in England and Ireland are suffering ex hurricane Olphenia- I’m getting royally pissed on 1.5 l of local wine 13% proof at the price of €2.50. And I’m brown as a berry in 2 days. It’s only 27c here Chin Chin 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 8,596 Posted October 16, 2017 29 minutes ago, philheybrookbay said: Ahhhh Getting a suntan in October and cheap drinkable Greek wine Whilst my poor friends in England and Ireland are suffering ex hurricane Olphenia- I’m getting royally pissed on 1.5 l of local wine 13% proof at the price of €2.50. And I’m brown as a berry in 2 days. It’s only 27c here Chin Chin Madrid yesterday afternoon Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,687 Posted October 16, 2017 I'm in Wiltshire and apart from the weird orange haze and a bit of wind it's been a lovely day. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
philheybrookbay 439 Posted October 16, 2017 1 hour ago, Lard Bazaar said: I'm in Wiltshire and apart from the weird orange haze and a bit of wind it's been a lovely day. That’s Sahara dust. Gives you lung cancer. I’m going for skin cancer and liver cirrhosis. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,938 Posted October 16, 2017 Sean Hughes coffed the stat that proper full blown allies like us are more likely to die of lung cancer.... So suck it up 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
philheybrookbay 439 Posted November 2, 2017 (edited) When your ex was in ICU like mine was last week, you really understand the beauty of skilled nurses who look after dangerously ill patients. To comfort even me when they are monitoring my ex following sepsis and being in a coma. Yes I’m next of kin to my ex. Because his family situation and he’s my best mate in the world. Some people call it daft we can’t be together but hey that’s life. sadly he’s lost all the skin from his stomach as the attached shows. But he’s alive and getting better thanks to those nurses in ICU Edited November 2, 2017 by Death Impends Spoiled the image as one probably would want some warning before viewing it - but I'm glad to hear your ex is pulling through Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,938 Posted November 2, 2017 Hmmmmm. Pretty much had the same on a foot square section on my thigh as I went arse over tit down the stairs Sunday night. Made work.... I'm not joking either, soft Southerners. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted November 2, 2017 1 hour ago, charon said: Hmmmmm. Pretty much had the same on a foot square section on my thigh as I went arse over tit down the stairs Sunday night. Made work.... I'm not joking either, soft Southerners. ........but did ye spill ya pint??? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Youwanticewiththat 610 Posted November 2, 2017 4 hours ago, charon said: Hmmmmm. Pretty much had the same on a foot square section on my thigh as I went arse over tit down the stairs Sunday night. Made work.... I'm not joking either, soft Southerners. Anyone seen Charon and Simon Cowell in the same room? Was it hot milk you were getting? Hope ye continue doing well 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Youwanticewiththat 610 Posted November 2, 2017 6 hours ago, philheybrookbay said: When your ex was in ICU like mine was last week, you really understand the beauty of skilled nurses who look after dangerously ill patients. To comfort even me when they are monitoring my ex following sepsis and being in a coma. Yes I’m next of kin to my ex. Because his family situation and he’s my best mate in the world. Some people call it daft we can’t be together but hey that’s life. sadly he’s lost all the skin from his stomach as the attached shows. But he’s alive and getting better thanks to those nurses in ICU Reveal hidden contents All the very best wishes to you both Phil. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 8,596 Posted November 13, 2017 Couldn't really post this in the TV thread so I will put it here. Last week radio 4 began a new series of Alexis Sayle's Imaginary Sandwich Bar. It is completely bonkers. Love it. Thursday 6.30pm. 2 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Youwanticewiththat 610 Posted November 13, 2017 28 minutes ago, Bibliogryphon said: Couldn't really post this in the TV thread so I will put it here. Last week radio 4 began a new series of Alexis Sayle's Imaginary Sandwich Bar. It is completely bonkers. Love it. Thursday 6.30pm. I was pleasantly surprised how kindly time has treated Trotsky's favoured love-child. Funny fecker still, praise jebbus. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pampams 5 Posted November 13, 2017 On 02/10/2007 at 10:45, Godot said: The glorious "take" after casting to a rising fish The adrenalin rush from a big fish on the line The endorphin buzz after a tough gym session The first pint at a rugby international A good sing song Fishing huts Cobwebs dripping with dew Chewing the fat with mates Any newt anywhere Lots of smells: bacon butties, geranium leaves, salt air at the seaside, candy floss, wax polish, the metallic smell of rain ..... and thick, tasty gravy This is awesome. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Pampams 5 Posted November 13, 2017 All suggestions listed above. Foxs Biscuits Myself more foxs biscuits , foxs biscuits factory. Duvet. English breakfasts... english breakfast factory, a five star chef, more english breakfasts. Heated Swimming pool. Log fire. Logs, are we allowed to leave the room at all.. when it is so lovely. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,938 Posted November 13, 2017 4 hours ago, Youwanticewiththat said: I was pleasantly surprised how kindly time has treated Trotsky's favoured love-child. Funny fecker still, praise jebbus. When you think he starred in a Hollywood film with Burt Lancaster, and Ricky Fulton as a KGB chief..... Still like that film. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 12,004 Posted November 14, 2017 The anticipation of binge drinking. You ask anyone who knows me about the tangible excitability I display when I know I'm about to meet with mates and get absolutely cunted 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,938 Posted December 21, 2017 I'm a reasonable bloke. I don't hate much in Life* , but the biggest bugbear re Brands I have is with Apple. Absolute shower of cunts to deal with, supported by the absolute shower of cunts who all starry eyed buy their shite. So it was with great pleasure I read this morning about them owning up to making their spyphones run slower through 'upgrades' to prolong the life of their shitty battery technology that they deliberately made integral, and a money earner in repairs. https://forums.digitalspy.com/discussion/2259172/apple-deliberately-slow-down-iphones-as-battery-gets-older-confirmed-by-apple#latest £1,000 for the latest over hyped piece of pish , buy one and you are pretty much admitting you are retarded. A nice warm feeling flows over me at this point (no trouser wetting involved) and safe in the knowledge a lot of cunts will still purchase their innovativeless crap blindly. * I actually hate nearly everything/everyone on the Planet. Just checking you're awake. 1 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
