charon 4,943 Posted March 24, 2018 If you have a mortgage and credit cards, yet choose to eat rice and veg....... Opt out of 'Life' right fucking now. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,543 Posted March 24, 2018 4 hours ago, charon said: * I have one, The Eagle of the Ninth by Rosemary Sutcliffe.... that is more overdue than that One of my mums favourite books as a kid. She kept trying to get me to read it as a wean. Never read it. In fact, you've now become only the second person I've ever seen mention it! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted March 24, 2018 Lol. If ever a notw convention I'll lend you it. I think there was a film about 5 years ago, there was two or three filmed up here at the same time, and a regret is I never went to auditions for 'wild Scots'.... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,234 Posted March 24, 2018 A thing I do which won't suit people who are totally skint everybody: Whenever I get a £2 coin in my change, it goes in a piggy bank. 1. You don't tend to get them that often but 2. The value mounts up quickly So it's a way of saving up for things, be that bills, emergencies or treats. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handrejka 1,911 Posted March 24, 2018 1 hour ago, Toast said: A thing I do which won't suit people who are totally skint everybody: Whenever I get a £2 coin in my change, it goes in a piggy bank. 1. You don't tend to get them that often but 2. The value mounts up quickly So it's a way of saving up for things, be that bills, emergencies or treats. I did the same with 20 pence pieces. It's astonishing how quickly it builds up. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,803 Posted March 24, 2018 Every Friday I transfer the odds on my bank balance to round it down to the nearest fiver to a savings account, you don’t notice the amount gone and soon enough you’ve got a little pile of cash to waste on beer. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,803 Posted March 24, 2018 I know I know - shack up with a prick who turns out to be the biggest fucking lying cunt in history then fucks off leaving you unable to pay your mortgage so you lose your house - BINGO, mortgage free! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deathray 2,942 Posted March 24, 2018 3 hours ago, Lard Bazaar said: I know I know - shack up with a prick who turns out to be the biggest fucking lying cunt in history then fucks off leaving you unable to pay your mortgage so you lose your house - BINGO, mortgage free! Shit, I hope your okay. I guess remortgaging is out of the question? (I know it's not ideal but it's better than losing the house). Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,803 Posted March 24, 2018 Just now, Deathray said: Shit, I hope your okay. I guess remortgaging is out of the question? (I know it's not ideal but it's better than losing the house). It is out of the question I’m afraid. Guess I’ll just have to rely on all those strangers I shag off the Internet, eh Deathers? 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Youwanticewiththat 611 Posted March 24, 2018 1 minute ago, Lard Bazaar said: It is out of the question I’m afraid. Guess I’ll just have to rely on all those strangers I shag off the Internet, eh Deathers? Lucky that Nigerian General was able to track you down eh Lardy? 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deathray 2,942 Posted March 24, 2018 8 minutes ago, Lard Bazaar said: It is out of the question I’m afraid. Guess I’ll just have to rely on all those strangers I shag off the Internet, eh Deathers? Oh well, I guess you'll have to sell the kids? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,803 Posted March 24, 2018 2 minutes ago, Deathray said: Oh well, I guess you'll have to sell the kids? Nobody would buy them. Ones got big ears and the other’s wired up wrong. I love them both anyway, I don’t want to sell them really. And they’re adults so not sure about the laws on trading humans tbh Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Deathray 2,942 Posted March 24, 2018 1 minute ago, Lard Bazaar said: Nobody would buy them. Ones got big ears and the other’s wired up wrong. I love them both anyway, I don’t want to sell them really. And they’re adults so not sure about the laws on trading humans tbh I don't think it's legal regardless of whether they're adults or bairns to be honest. I suppose you could move to Portugal and peddle sugar to tourists. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,803 Posted March 24, 2018 4 minutes ago, Deathray said: I don't think it's legal regardless of whether they're adults or bairns to be honest. I suppose you could move to Portugal and peddle sugar to tourists. I could move to Portugal and leave them in a hotel room while I got tapas’ed to fuck with my chums, and then sell my soul to Max Clifford when my kids are peado’d to death by Sanchez McTaco. Bingo! Quids in! 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
runebomme 377 Posted March 24, 2018 an idea http://www.pulse.ng/gist/fast-money-nigerian-man-dies-selling-kidney-in-malaysia-id4106186.html Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,234 Posted March 24, 2018 4 hours ago, Lard Bazaar said: I know I know - shack up with a prick who turns out to be the biggest fucking lying cunt in history then fucks off leaving you unable to pay your mortgage so you lose your house - BINGO, mortgage free! Please tell us he didn't take the telly with him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,803 Posted March 25, 2018 9 hours ago, Toast said: Please tell us he didn't take the telly with him. Not yet but by the time he comes to get it there will be additional amazing features like a hammer through the screen 1 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
philheybrookbay 439 Posted March 25, 2018 Sorry lardy it’s a tough time. Just reek the revenge I did. My ex wanted his stuff so he got it in spades. You want the computer- fine but the keyboard didn’t have half the keys. Anything electrical? Spent half an hour in the bath first. Clothes? All packed in suitcases with rotten meat and dog shit. As as I had to downsize the sight of his Fiat 500 driving off with a full set of Christmas decs in March was a scene which still makes me chuckle. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ThePrematureBurial 224 Posted March 25, 2018 If you live in a city with car-parking problems, it may be worth ordering your groceries online & having them delivered right to your doorstep & free yourself from carrying heavy crates. I used to consider this as a luxury, but if you order non-perishables - everything in cans, jars, bottles, rice, pasta, cereals, toilet paper - once or twice a year, especially during the winter, it may be a real relief. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,543 Posted March 25, 2018 Sorry to hear two of our own are having relationship breakdowns at the same time. (It's not with each other, I presume?) 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
philheybrookbay 439 Posted March 25, 2018 God mine was 5 years ago. 10th September 2013 the true meaning of happiness. My divorce was finalised by a judge Happily single ever since. And I have nothing to do with my weasel of cheating lying ex Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,803 Posted March 25, 2018 1 hour ago, msc said: Sorry to hear two of our own are having relationship breakdowns at the same time. (It's not with each other, I presume?) No, I think we both like boys, don’t we? *apols if I have got this totally wrong! And actually I don’t like boys any more, they are all fucking snakes with dicks and can fuck off to the end of time. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,543 Posted March 25, 2018 I've only seen my ex once in about 14 years. Far better that way. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,234 Posted March 25, 2018 2 minutes ago, Lard Bazaar said: No, I think we both like boys, don’t we? *apols if I have got this totally wrong! I got the impression he meant someone else Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
