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Joey Russ

Advent Avalanche 2019

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Wait a second, it's that time of year already? Man, time does fly by fast. So here we are, another year of the annual Advent Avalanche, with the following objective and rules:

25 entrants (24 quickest off the mark plus your host Joey Russ). Competition opens on 1 December with the aim of getting a winner by Christmas Day.

And those Rules in Full:


1 - The object of the AVALDP is to WIN.

2 - To enter the AVALDP a contestant must have: A candidate not selected by another other entrant.
A candidate in this context means a living person aged 18 or over not being executed within that month who remains alive at midnight on November 30th and is considered likely to cease living soon after and also be capable of gaining a qualifying obit see rule 9 below upon death.


3 - Entries open at 7:00am EST (that's 12:00 PM GMT for the brits) on 30th November and close at midnight (GMT) on 30 November. Entry can only be made by posting the name of a candidate on the AVALDP thread on the Deathlist.

4 The competition is deemed to be open at 00-01 GMT hrs on 1 December 2019.

5 Competition ceases on the death of the first nominated pick on the list of candidates and the winner is the dead pooler who has selected said candidate.

6 Entry is limited to 25 players (24 who are obliged to post entries on the AvalancheDP thread and Joey Russ, who reserves a right of entry as the master of ceremonies for this endeavor). Presumably the artistic intent is obvious but in case you missed it the idea is to get 25 players to compete for a death within 25 days thereby giving us a victory by Christmas Day at the latest. If you're snoozin you're losing.

6a Because he has forced his own entry Joey Russ guarantees to respect the first 24 qualifying picks and only enter a candidate unselected by the others. Thereby ensuring the really hot selections go to others.

7 - In the event that two players select the same candidate the allocation of the pick will go to the player who first posted an entry for that candidate even if the entry times are within the same minute. 

8 In the event that two players tie for victory on the basis of picks expiring on the same day all efforts will be made to ascertain a winner on the basis of the actual time of death. For these purposes local time of death will be translated to GMT if required.

9 - An "obit" in the context of the AVALDP is any news report in English from a reliable source. Such sources include - but are not limited to - UK national press, UK national broadcast organizations, foreign press and broadcast organizations with an English language thread to their communication, trade press in English, local news organizations reporting in English and coverage in specialist online sites, such as those monitoring the well-being of super-centenarians. Where dispute arises over the qualifying nature of a news source for obit purposes Joey Russ's decision is final. But he wants fast and furious competition and is generally very amenable to low hanging dead pool fruit of all varieties.

10 The Raymond Hewlett Memorial Award applies to the AVALDP. In honor of everybody's favourite Maddie-implicated paedo scum a candidate widely believed to be alive when the winner is declared and subsequently proven to have died previously will be awarded victory in the event that a AVALDP qualifying obit subsequently appears for said candidate. In the event that a AVALDP qualifying obit for the candidate is subsequently proven to have existed prior to commencement of the AVALDP all points will be voided. RHME points are only available during competition and in the event that a winner has been declared before discovery of a qualifying RHME candidate no revision of the final result will occur. Similarly, if some lucky candidate is awarded RHME victory and this victory once declared is proven to be spurious by late discovery of a qualifying obit; the lucky winner will be allowed to keep his/her lucky win.

10a To ensure smooth operation of rule 10 the period for discovery of result altering obits is deemed to be 48 hours plus the remainder of the calendar day in which victory is first claimed. In other words two days and a part of another day.

11 - If an obited death occurs during play of the AVALDP and is missed despite Joey Russ's best efforts to stay in touch and/or the spirited efforts of AVALDP participants and said death is missed in totting up points, after which a winner is declared, then this death will not count for competition purposes. The same is true in the case of a known death gathering a late obit and therefore allowing some other competitor to be declared a winner. All disputes relating to rule 11 will be resolved by the astute judgement of Joey Russ and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opinion are warmly invited to liven up the AVALDP thread by venting their fury). 

12 - In the event that Deathlist editing options or other online trickery is discovered to have been employed in the editing of entries, those duly fingered for such cheating will be removed from the AVALDP and banned for life from subsequent entry into AVALDPs.


13 In the unlikely event that a pick selected on 30 November fails to mark the start line the entrant selecting said pick will still be deemed to have entered the competition and will have until midnight 1 December to select a new pick (unselected by other entrants). Should the entrant fail to do so no other entrant will be allowed in as a replacement.
AND FINALLY...
On completion of AVALDP activities the thread will get lively for a short while as losing contestants and spectators offer well-deserved congratulations to the skillful and highly talented new champion, after which time it is expected that the cooling corpse of the thread will be allowed to gently sink into oblivion.

Now you know the rules, here is the list of competitors and their choice of candidates:

 

  1. Banana - Jean Pagé

  2. Sean - Genesis P-orridge

  3. Drol - Ajoy Roy

  4. Quim Reaper - Henry Gray

  5. Oldlady - Larry King 

  6. Maryportfuncity - Nobby Stiles 

  7. CaptainChorizo - David Gulpilil

  8. Bibliogryphon - Vera Lynn

  9. gcreptile - Karl Kiefer 

  10. Death Impends - Ed Battle

  11. msc - DJ Richard Mills

  12. Great Uncle Bulgaria - Stirling Moss

  13. Toast - Jimmy Greaves

  14. Gooseberry Crumble - Leslie Phillips

  15. The Old Crem - Prince Philip

  16. Chilean way - Javier Pérez de Cuellar 

  17. Book - Frankie Banali

  18. DeathByArsenic - Juliette Greco

  19. JiroemonKimura - Ron Boswell

  20. markb4 - Ruthie Thompson

  21. dean1991 - Peter Higgs 

  22. Torva Messor - John Franzese Sr

  23. Skinny Kiltrunner - Susan Bayh

  24. Clorox Bleachman - Everton Weekes

  25. Joey Russ - Willie Nelson

 

Let's look at the past and current winners of this dead pool now

 

2016

  

Death Impends 

  

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2017 

 

Sean

 

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2018

 

Banana

 

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Good luck everyone. :) 

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FORM GUIDE #1 -- Little Richard


We lost the Godfather of Soul, James Brown, on Christmas Day.  This ties together our Yuletide memories of soulful rock n roll music, and the holiday season.  Who better to embody that than Little Richard, who despite releasing an array of 45's, never had a #1 Billboard hit (USA or UK).  So he's due for another 45 HIT -- he sits nicely at #45 on the 2019 Deathlist! 
Good Golly, Miss Molly, it's a sign from the DL Gods.  If that doesn't convince you, then why would the National Enquirer say he is in his sad last days?**

220px-Little_Richard_1998_color.jpg

**[published 13 May 2017]

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Form Guide #2 - Chris Doleman

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This American football player is nearing the two year mark of his glioblastoma diagnosis. Is he going to get a touchdown for you by Christmas Day? Only time will tell...

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Form Guide #3 - Kirk DouglasBA795F91-8302-445E-8C22-E8215C7EC4A4.thumb.jpeg.dacd8e101a66a918d7751bd502037e6d.jpeg

This Hollywood legend is turning 103 this December, but does that mean it’s the right time to pick him for the advent avalanche? We’ll have to wait and see...

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Form Guide #4 - Thomas Shaffernacker 

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It’s an undeniable fact that 1/3rd of the winning advent avalanche picks were a weatherman. So maybe off of that statistic, Schaffernacker may be the right choice for this Christmas...

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Form Guide #5_ Frankie Banali

 

Will the Quiet Riot Drummer quieten down permanently this advent?Banali says he is on the mend but as they say the camera never lies.

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Form Guide #6 -Ruthie Tompson

 

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With the Disney + Streaming service beginning this November, it might trigger the former Animator to death seeing classics she has worked on like Snow White bundled in a streaming service with garbage like High School Musical and Lizzie McGuire

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58 minutes ago, CaptainChorizo said:

Form Guide #6 -Ruthie Tompson

 

image.png.0a0408bce6b1c79339cc27df8b876aa0.png

 

With the Disney + Streaming service beginning this November, it might trigger the former Animator to death seeing classics she has worked on like Snow White bundled in a streaming service with garbage like High School Musical and Lizzie McGuire


Just wanted to say at first quick glance the lady on the right looked to be giving a 'thumbs down'.
SC
 

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Form Guide #7 -- Kane Tanaka 
 

 

oldest-woman_660_030919014003.jpg


Take it from the world's oldest living person at present:
"We are all just one heartbeat away from showing up on Deathlist dot net."

And she should know.  When Advent Avalanche 2019 launches, Ms. Tanaka will have experienced 3,683,404,800 heartbeats.  Will she live to see 3,683,404,801 ??

 

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Form Guide #8 - Daniel arap Moi

Risultati immagini per daniel moi

 

Well, Après Moi le Déluge!

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Form Guide #9- Dame Olivia de Havilland

 

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 SMOKING KILLS... If she vaped instead  would be an option for Advent Avalanche 2025

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Form Guide #10- Bill Gates, Sr.

The father of America's richest man has been hiding under the radar here on DL, despite being 93 years young.  Maybe he thinks his son will finance a cure for 'what ails him' before Advent Avalanche begins.  Highly unlikely.  With recent reports of Alzheimer's from none other than sonny boy, and a photo of pop's donning a condom hat (not exactly proving his sanity), we may be closer to the truth hoping Gates, Sr., reaches the starting gate.  It's true what they say about family fortunes: 'You can't take it with you'.....but you can take Bill Gates' Sr. with you - on your way to AA 2019 glory.

 

 

750604-bill-gates-condom.jpg

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Form Guide #11- Tulsi Gabbard

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Enemies of Hilary Clinton have some of the highest rates of suicide and depression.

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Form Guide #12 - Pete Buttigieg 6E26A324-E5F3-4A99-A387-351684E8D944.thumb.jpeg.71bc4f914fdf0259e60e5ef77e8df9f7.jpeg

This massive twat Mayor from Indiana very much wants to give out Medicare for everyone who wants it, which leads to the big question: is it possible that he is willing to give up his own health care and be a potential winning hit for the Advent Avalanche? We’ll have to wait and see...

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Form Guide #13- Luis Echeverría

 

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 The 97 year old former President of Mexico has spent the last few years in and out of hospitals. He also has the distinction of being the 472nd  Head Of State charged with Human Rights Violations and commiting massacres who somehow avoided spending time in Prison.

 

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Form guide #14 - Sir Peter Higgs

 

Subatomic particle heart throb. If having the Higgs-boson named after him isn't enough to woo you then he has also bagged himself a nice little earner with a Nobel Prize in Physics. He may have the last laugh on us though if the Large Hadron Collider, inspired by his findings, liquidizes us all. 

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Form guide #14 - Ric Flair

 

Woooh mean, by gawd, Gene! Is it time for you to take a chance on the heart-attack sufferin', ambulance-ridin', liver-damagin', constant faintin', artery-cloggin' 14-time replacement stent champion of the world? What I'm saying is: Space Mountain closed for the winter?

 

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Form Guide #15 - Chris Mortensen

 

ESPN NFL analyst, until he took a leave of absence earlier this year for throat cancer, Mortensen looks like hell.  And that’s putting it nicely.  A shadow of his former self.  In fact his shadow weighs more.  Chris worked for ‘The 4-letter Network’.  His next four letters: D-E-A-D.

 

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Form Guide #16 - Henry Gray

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I got the blues. I got the blues. I got the " I'm a Baton Rouge Music Legend in Hospice Care and still some dude on Deathlist is using my impending doom to make a  Lame 90's TGIF sitcom reference" blues.

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Form Guide #17 - Ruth Bader Ginsburg

 

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After 4 cancer fights, every cough of her keeps a whole nation on alert. How many more days can she get out of her small, frail body?

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Form Guide #18 - Prince Philip, DoE

 

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The Queen has had an Anus Horribilis this year. Her son's a nonce, her grandsons and their respective wives think each other are dicks, her Prime Minister is a lying cunt and her husband has failed as a stunt driver. Will Phil crash and burn this December and top it all off for her?

Edited by The Quim Reaper
My misspelling of 'Annus' was absolutely genuine, and as such I read it and laughed, and am leaving it as it is.

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Fuck, we’re less than 24 hours from when the selection period officially starts. So make sure you find that weatherman in hospice in order to prepare for the starting line...

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Will you make a post to indicate entries are open? You know, minutes could make the difference...

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On 02/11/2019 at 00:11, Sir Creep said:

Form Guide #7 -- Kane Tanaka 

 

When Advent Avalanche 2019 launches, Ms. Tanaka will have experienced 3,683,404,800 heartbeats.  Will she live to see 3,683,404,801 ??

 

I do hope the competition lasts for longer than 1 heartbeat. 

 

Though to be fair that's how long it took for Banana to win last year.

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