MMMDP 2020

[maryportfuncity 10,658]

21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem - master, Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day.

Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2020 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!)

 

 

 

WILLIE get picked this year?

 

The Masterlist 24 mins after entries opened - C'mon people, what else are you doing in the last hours of lockdown?

 

 

 

 

 

1.       Tommy Palmer (Joey Russ)

2.       Peter Tobin (The Old Lady)

3.       Ernest Angley (Torva Messor)

4.       Dr. Rebecca Shadowen (GC Reptile)

5.       Killer Tim Brooks (Captain Chorizo)

6.       Derek Draper (Book)

7.       Bhanwarlal Meghwal (Drol)

8.       Willie Thorne (Toast)

9.       June Spencer (Bibliogryphon)

10.   Anne Buydens Douglas (Great Uncle Bulgaria)

11.   Kane Tanaka (The Engineer)

12.   Vera Lynn (The Old Crem)

13.   Frank Ifield (YoungWillz)

14.   Sumner Redstone (Death Impends)

15.  Bob Dole (MSC)

16.  Glenn Keast (Miracle Aligner)

17.  Ruthie Thompson (Chilean Way)

18. Lee Teng Hui (Perhaps)

19. Neddy Smith (Skinny Kiltrunner)

20. Leslie Philips (TherewillbeDeaths7)

21. Tom Smith (Maryportfuncity)

[maryportfuncity 10,658]

And those Rules in Full:

 

 

1 - The object of the MMMDP is to WIN.

 

2 - To enter the MMMDP a contestant must have: A candidate not selected by another other entrant.

 

A “candidate” in this context means a living person aged 18 or over who remains alive at 9-00 am on May 31st and is considered likely to cease living soon after and also be capable of gaining a qualifying obit – see rule 9 below – upon death. The only exception to this rule are persons residing on death row with an execution falling within June 2020 (feel free to risk a death rower due to take the final walk from 1 July).

 

3 - Entries open at 9-00am BST on 31st May and close at midnight on 31 May. Entry can only be made by posting the name of a candidate on the MMMDP thread on the Deathlist.

 

4 – The competition is deemed to be open at 00-00-01 (i.e. the first second of the day) BST hrs on 1 June 2020.

 

5 – Competition ceases on the death of the first nominated pick on the list of candidates and the winner is the dead pooler who has selected said candidate.

 

6 – Entry is limited to 21 players (twenty who are obliged to post entries on the MMMDP thread and Maryport who reserves a right of entry as the master of ceremonies for this endeavour). Presumably the artistic intent is obvious but in case you missed it the idea is to get 21 players to compete for a death within 21 days thereby giving us a victory by midsummer’s day at the latest. If you’re snoozin’ you’re losing.

 

6a – Because he has forced his own entry Maryport guarantees to respect the first 20 qualifying picks and only enter a candidate unselected by the others. Thereby ensuring the really hot selections go to others.

 

 7 - In the event that two players select the same candidate the allocation of the pick will go to the player who first posted an entry for that candidate – even if the entry times are within the same minute.

 

 8 – In the event that two players tie for victory on the basis of picks expiring on the same day all efforts will be made to ascertain a winner on the basis of the actual time of death. For these purposes local time of death will be translated to GMT if required.

 

9 - An "obit" in the context of the MMMDP is any news report in English from a reliable source. Such sources include - but are not limited to - UK national press, UK national broadcast organisations, foreign press and broadcast organisations with an English language thread to their communication, trade press in English, local news organisations reporting in English and coverage in specialist online sites, such as those monitoring the well-being of super-centenarians. Where dispute arises over the qualifying nature of a news source for obit purposes MPFC's decision is final. But he wants fast and furious competition and is generally very amenable to low hanging dead pool fruit of all varieties.

 

10 – The Raymond Hewlett Memorial Award applies to the MMMDP. In honour of everybody's favourite Maddie-implicated paedo scum a candidate widely believed to be alive when the winner is declared and subsequently proven to have died previously will be awarded victory in the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit subsequently appears for said candidate. In the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit for the candidate is subsequently proven to have existed prior to commencement of the MMMDP the initial victory will be voided. RHME assisted victory is only available during competition, and in the event that competition is ended before discovery of a qualifying RHME candidate no revision of the final result will occur. Similarly, if some lucky candidate is awarded RHME victory and this victory – once declared – is proven to be spurious by late discovery of a qualifying obit; the lucky winner will be allowed to keep his/her lucky win. With this in mind rule 10a has been drawn up. Given the lengthy build-up and rapid victories of past years the least we should get from the one-day period is some entertaining banter on the thread if some desperate entrant is busily digging on little visited websites for confirmation of death of a “well known” breeder of gerbils or the like!

 

10a – To ensure smooth operation of rule 10 the period for discovery of result altering obits is deemed to be 48 hours plus the remainder of the calendar day in which victory is first claimed. In other words two days and a part of another day.

 

11 - If an obited death occurs during play of the MMMDP and is missed despite MPFC's best efforts to stay in touch and/or the spirited efforts of MMMDP participants and said death is missed in totting up points, after which a winner is declared, then this death will not count for competition purposes. The same is true in the case of a known death gathering a late obit and therefore allowing some other competitor to be declared a winner. All disputes relating to rule 11 will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opinion are warmly invited to liven up the MMMDP thread by venting their fury).

 

12 - In the event that Deathlist editing options or other online trickery is discovered to have been employed in the editing of entries, those duly fingered for such cheating will be removed from the MMMDP and banned for life from subsequent entry into MMMDPs.

 

13 – In the unlikely event that a pick selected on 31 May fails to mark the start line the entrant selecting said pick will still be deemed to have entered the competition and will have until midnight 1 June to select a new pick (unselected by other entrants). Should the entrant fail to do so no other entrant will be allowed in as a replacement.

 

14 - A prize will be awarded as follows:

 

i: Should the winner agree to attend a DLCon with MPFC a double measure of alcoholic drinks (pints, wine or spirits) will be supplied by MPFC along with much hearty congratulations and back-slapping.

 

ii: A carefully chosen and appropriate prize will be posted to the winner (such as the DVD copy of the original Death Race movie supplied to the 2009 Deathrace). iii: MPFC will make a charitable donation to a cause of the winner's choice (as has been the case with all but one of the previous winnings of the Deathrace). This course of action is highly encouraged and is known to show dead poolers as something other than the sicko scum many ranters believe us to be.

 

 

 

AND FINALLY...

 

On completion of MMMDP activities the thread will get lively for a short while as losing contestants and spectactors offer well-deserved congratulations to the skilful and highly talented new champion, after which time it is expected that the cooling corpse of the thread will be allowed to gently sink into oblivion.

[maryportfuncity 10,658]

MMMDP Form Guide #1 

 

 

 

 

HRH The Duke of Edinburgh 

 

Rheumy eyed codger who's defied the odds for years - due to turn 99 during the competition. Covid-19 could kill the consistent coffin dodger's current campaign in its tracks, and duly deliver victory to an astute competitor hereabouts. 

 

 

 

 

[msc 18,485]

MMMDP Form Guide #2

 

 

This forum favourite took down this guy in the 70s

 

 

Now 90, will Clive Revill go this far and no further...

[maryportfuncity 10,658]

MMMDP Form Guide #3 

 

 

 

 

Abdelaziz Bouteflika 

 

83 year old former Algerian president who finally quit the job when the locals got exercised about a misguided attempt for a fifth term starting in 2019. Riddled with health issues and rightly selected for DL top 50 action this year. The question is, will MMMDP competition cover the day when he aziz last breath?

 

[maryportfuncity 10,658]

MMMDP Form Guide #4

 

 

 

Willie Thorne

 

AKA Mr Maximum - once a winner he's now maxing out on odds-shortening calamities that create dead pool excitement. Ironic given one area of tabloid interest in his life is the man's compulsive gambling habit; a major factor in creating the current £1 million hole in his finances. Along the way a former beauty queen wife has baled, he's a two-time attempted self-topper and a Leukamia diagnosis recently joined the party. Off the snooker podium since hanging up his high-level cue in 2001, but he could still be a winner for someone this year.

 

[Bibliogryphon 9,592]

Hurrah for the return of the MMMDP

 

Many thanks for organising this again @maryportfuncity

[Bibliogryphon 9,592]

MMMDP Form Guide #5

 

 

Ruth Bader Ginsburg

 

I am sure that President Donald Trump has sent the long time Supreme Court Judge a nice bouquet of flowers and a get well card following her recent stay in hospital as we all recognise that the current US regime cannot become any more Ruthless.

Will June see her sent down?

[Grim Up North 3,727]

10 minutes ago, Bibliogryphon said:

Ruth Bader Ginsberg

 

Looks like she bought the jacket before she got cancer!

 

PS: It's Ginsburg.

[Charlotte's Controller 195]

I select Jimmy Carter

[Grim Up North 3,727]

3 minutes ago, Charlotte's Controller said:

I select Jimmy Carter

 

That's not how it works - read the rules as so carefully and meticulously laid out in Mary's second post on this thread.

 

All these photos are merely some fun posturing by the dead poolers because we love posting photos and writing about people who might die soon - it's a passion that I'm sure you share so if you want to do some fun posturing about Jimmy Carter maybe being a good pick then you follow the format used by the other posters - add one to the last form guide, find a photo and hopefully think of something mildly or, even better, extremely funny or sick to write about said individual.

[Charlotte's Controller 195]

 

2 minutes ago, Grim Up North said:

 

That's not how it works - read the rules as so carefully and meticulously laid out in Mary's second post on this thread.

 

All these photos are merely some fun posturing by the dead poolers because we love posting photos and writing about people who might die soon - it's a passion that I'm sure you share so if you want to do some fun posturing about Jimmy Carter maybe being a good pick then you follow the format used by the other posters - add one to the last form guide, find a photo and hopefully think of something mildly or, even better, extremely funny or sick to write about said individual.

 

 

Oops, thanks

[maryportfuncity 10,658]

27 minutes ago, Grim Up North said:

 

Looks like she bought the jacket before she got cancer!

 

PS: It's Ginsburg.

 

 

Yeah, we'll  know she's good to go when the same photo shows only the top of her head!

[maryportfuncity 10,658]

11 minutes ago, Grim Up North said:

 

That's not how it works - read the rules as so carefully and meticulously laid out in Mary's second post on this thread.

 

All these photos are merely some fun posturing by the dead poolers because we love posting photos and writing about people who might die soon - it's a passion that I'm sure you share so if you want to do some fun posturing about Jimmy Carter maybe being a good pick then you follow the format used by the other posters - add one to the last form guide, find a photo and hopefully think of something mildly or, even better, extremely funny or sick to write about said individual.

 

 

Cheers G-u-N, just copied and pasted that onto my CV - next stop Director General of the BBC, or summat

[CaptainChorizo 1,988]

MMMDP Form Guide #6

 

 

Ida Keeling

 

She outran the Spanish Flu as a Wee child,then a Century later Outran every woman in history by being the first Centenarian to complete a 100 Meter run.2020 Might be one lap too many after Covid-19  hit hard  her current hometown of NYC

 

[maryportfuncity 10,658]

MMMDP Form Guide #7

 

 

 

 

Eileen Ash

 

I'll see the American sporting legend above and raise you the first test cricketer to reach a ton in years lived, former spy and television star (reality wise as ITV followed her passing her driving test aged 105). Turned 108 last year. The two life questions remaining to be asked are when will she finally deliver the Q/O and wtf isn't the biopic already out there?

 

[Grim Up North 3,727]

MMMDP Form Guide #8

 

 

Mary Portas

 

Yes she's only 60 on 28th May and she's not knowingly ill either but bear with me.

 

Firstly this is the Maryport Midsummer Madness Dead Pool so she has a name that is made for victory.

 

But much more convincing are the following facts:-

 

Her mother died when she was 16.

Her father died when she was 18.

She got married to a man in 1990 - that marriage died in 2003.

She got commissioned to do a report into the future of the British High Street in 2011 - that high street is now in it's death throes.

She married a woman in 2014 - that marriage died when they separated in 2019.

Her hair is dyed.

 

Dying and Mary Portas seem almost inseparable. 

[the_engineer 1,415]

So you're only going to accept the first 20 posts after 9am on 31st may is that correct MPFC? Will have to set my bloody alarm for this 

[maryportfuncity 10,658]

9 hours ago, the_engineer said:

So you're only going to accept the first 20 posts after 9am on 31st may is that correct MPFC? Will have to set my bloody alarm for this 

 

 

Yeah, designed so's I don't wake up to spat that kicked off one second after midnight and find the thread full of bad "that was my pick you cnut" vibes, or summat. 

 

It's a Sunday this year, right - so I'm imagining pleasant deadpooling whereby I calmly organise thoughtful picks delivered with good manners and compile a masterlist whilst listening to the Freakzone Playlist that started at midnight on the iPlayer. 

 

Though - I suppose - given the time lag in the rules between a candidate (alive at midnight) and the actual entry at 9am we could wake up to two deaths and a mighty row about who has already won. 

 

Might just tweak that entry rule about when a pick should be alive 

[maryportfuncity 10,658]

MMMDP Form Guide #9

 

 

 

Franki Banali 

 

Let's admire him the way he'd want us to, eh? An image carefully cultivated to look like the tubthumper in a prime powerhouse of a metal band. Of late the lack of hair and general lack of body mass bring our Frankie in line with the low hangers and late-in-life obit fodder that are the favoured picks of this fairground duck shoot amongst dead pools. Will his solid sense of timing deliver once final time, let's see on 1 June, eh?

[CaptainChorizo 1,988]

MMMDP Form Guide #10

 

Black Bart

 

With the recent death of 80's Era  Southwest Wrestling Star Rip Oliver,and with "Killer" Tim Brooks's in hospice, if you believe death come's in 3's then Bart might be a good darkhorse pick to punt on. His 72nd Bday also happens to coincide with the start of MMMDP2020

 

[gcreptile 10,979]

MMMDP Form Guide #11

 

 

Balbir Singh Sr.

 

In the past three years, the Indian Olympic hockey legend has been hospitalised 36 times for 12 cardiac arrests, 8 strokes, 4 different cancers, 5 occurences of triple pneumonia, kidney failure, dangerous falls, knife attacks and the aftermath of an alien abduction. None of which could seriously threaten his eternally stable condition. When will he just give up?

[maryportfuncity 10,658]

1 hour ago, gcreptile said:

MMMDP Form Guide #11

 

 

Balbir Singh Sr.

 

In the past three years, the Indian Olympic hockey legend has been hospitalised 36 times for 12 cardiac arrests, 8 strokes, 4 different cancers, 5 occurences of triple pneumonia, kidney failure, dangerous falls, knife attacks and the aftermath of an alien abduction. None of which could seriously threaten his eternally stable condition. When will he just give up?

 

 

Aye, now the police are on their way to charge him with oxygen theft!

[maryportfuncity 10,658]

MMMDP Form Guide #12 

 

 

 

Peter Tobin

 

Serial killing excuse for a human being whose tally of victims is widely believed to be beyond the current count for which he was sentenced. Strongly suspected of being Bible John (serious crim, never detected) and a man of at least 40 aliases. Ill, incarcerated and likely on the receiving end of much voodoo doll action nationally. In the absence of Ian Brady, Tobin is one of the few specimens for whom there will be widespread rejoicing on the announcement of death. Whether such rejoicing might also include one lucky MMMDP entrant will be revealed on 31 May.

[msc 18,485]

4 minutes ago, maryportfuncity said:

MMMDP Form Guide #12 

 

 

Strongly suspected of being Bible John (serious crim, never detected)

 

David Wilson, one of the top criminologist chaps in the UK, is convinced of it and that's good enough for me. Turns out Tobin was next door neighbour to one of Bible Johns victims. So either she was unlucky to have met two notorious serial killers or....