Leaderboard

TEACHER: Maria, go to the map and find North America . MARIA: Here it is. TEACHER: Correct. Now class, who discovered America ? CLASS: Maria. ____________________________________ TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor? JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables. __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell 'crocodile?' GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L' TEACHER: No, that's wrong. GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it. ____________________________________________ TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water? DONALD: H I J K L M N O. TEACHER: What are you talking about? DONALD: Yesterday you said it's H to O. __________________________________ TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago. WINNIE: Me! __________________________________________ TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty? GLEN: Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are. _______________________________________ TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with 'I.' MILLIE: I is... TEACHER: No, Millie... Always say, 'I am.' MILLIE: All right, "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet." ________________________________ TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him? LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand? ______________________________________ TEACHER: Now, Simon , tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating? SIMON: No sir, I don't have to, my Mom is a good cook. ______________________________ TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on 'My Dog' is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his? CLYDE : No, sir. It's the same dog. _________________________ TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested? HAROLD: A teacher.

An American evangelist type, big friends with Nixon.

I only had time afore work to post his death in the mountaineering thread, but yuri yudin died at 76. Only survivor from the dyatlov pass incident which I mistakenly thought was in this thread. It should've been. Don't know if spoilers work.....

Not necessarily, she might have an open coffin

Now that would be remarkable

She was the second Golden Girl who passed away: Beatrice Arthur, 13.05.1922-25.04.2009, our beloved Dorothy Zbornak.

After she saved his life too!

You do know that some criminals specialise in perusing the death announcements for information, then go and burgle the homes of the deceased and chief mourners during the funeral? We've always made sure that someone is in the house during family funerals for this reason. There's always someone who asks if there's "anything I can do", or someone who is glad of an excuse not to go. Don't forget the other group of people who ransack the homes of the recently deceased looking for valuables. - What are they called? ....... ........ Ah Yes - Relatives