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Brazilian rapper MC Daleste shot dead on stage. Gives me some ideas next time Michael Buble is in town. http://www.contactmusic.com/story/brazilian-rapper-shot-and-killed-onstage_3749204

Ex-Chancellor 'hoards 38,000 cigarettes' Famous for his love of smoking, popular German ex-Chancellor Helmut Schmidt apparently has 38,000 menthol cigarettes stashed in his house. He is, a top politician let slip on Tuesday, scared the EU will ban them.

Thats because nobody can be arsed anymore C.A. These are sad times for the D.L, there is a distinct lack of mojo and the infestation of Wayne and Waynettas siblings has only sought to weaken the strength and integral structure of the forum in a brazen attack on its ethos and very existence.........................or summat. Fucked if i know. I actually knew a Waynetta. True story. Brother named Wayne, sister named Waynetta. Dad Wayne insisted they both be named after him. Good God. I know a man named Kevin, middle name Wayne. He had a son, named him Wayne, middle name Kevin. Suffice to say, they are a pair of cunts. In other news, I have a job interview today that my whole entire life depends on. Being a grown up sucks. Good luck with the interview but if you are applying to be an Angliacan Bishop there are a couple of things that will go against you.

Thats because nobody can be arsed anymore C.A. These are sad times for the D.L, there is a distinct lack of mojo and the infestation of Wayne and Waynettas siblings has only sought to weaken the strength and integral structure of the forum in a brazen attack on its ethos and very existence.........................or summat. Fucked if i know. I actually knew a Waynetta. True story. Brother named Wayne, sister named Waynetta. Dad Wayne insisted they both be named after him. Good God. I know a man named Kevin, middle name Wayne. He had a son, named him Wayne, middle name Kevin. Suffice to say, they are a pair of cunts. In other news, I have a job interview today that my whole entire life depends on. Being a grown up sucks.

For real? Wow... amazing to think that. Nowadays he probably couldn't make it over the little step on his front door

Did illness ketchup with her?

Fat fucking cunts with fat fucking girlfriends in their top-down BMWs that think it's acceptable to undertake you in order for them to get A WHOLE CAR LENGTH in front of you to get in the queue going into Tesco's. I was only going in there for juice and lemonade, I'm sure he was in such a hurry so he didn't miss out on buying a FUCKING MONTH'S WORTH OF BURGERS for his FAT FUGLY BITCH, who was wearing shorts far too short for somebody of her considerable girth - and he also insisted on keeping his shades on indoors. Also, inconsiderate little CUNTS that modify the exhaust on their fucking hair dryer mopeds to fucking FOG HORN PROPORTIONS, and then start that moped up RIGHT OUTSIDE YOUR BEDROOM FUCKING WINDOW at half past midnight - whoever you are, you owe me a pint because I stopped you being MURDERED WITH A HAMMER by the half drunken fat man in my bed that you woke up. Now, if everyone will stop fucking me off, I am settling down on this lovely sunny day, with my lounge full of flies, to watch the Superbikes.