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How many Channel 5 viewers even remember him or the original show?? I don't know about the original show but if they remembered how to use the remote control they wouldn't be watching Channel 5.

In the trade, these people are known as Twirlies. Because, clutching their bus passes, they say to the driver "Are we too early?"

Yes, I'm aware of the etymology. There's also nothing particularly sexual about the "phile" suffix, it merely denotes someone who enjoys or loves something. As with our own 'Bibliophile' - a lover of books. The literal meaning of 'paedophile' is simply someone who loves children. I'm more of a paedophobe myself.

My nomination for room 101 is "bus people". Hear me out, I regularly ride the bus as it's my only way of getting about but I've come to realise how self-involved, ignorant and annoying bus people are. Drivers: Normally decent folk 99.9% of the time, so why do I constantly get the 0.01% that don't have a fucking clue. Today I was on the border between two zones in my local area when attempting to board a bus got told I'd have to pay to the next stop so decided I'd save myself a couple of quid and walk to the next stop. Only to be told by the driver I'd have to pay more to get to the next stop (i.e 2 stops after the stop I'd been thrown off)? Obviously I couldn't argue with the bus driver over it as I'd be the one who'd look like a tosser. Also I buy a week ticket and they put it in a little cover, fair enough, however it takes about a minutes to put the ticket in the cover. Why can't they just hand me ticket with the cover to do it myself (it's not exactly rocket science) rather than holding a bus queue and a bus up for longer? Teenagers/student: There discounted travel must cloud there fucking judgement. They take up far too much room and are often carrying pointless shit like musical instruments, satchels that apparently needs it's own cunting seats; why on earth can't you bastards squeeze those things in front of you, especially when buses start getting to standing room only. Bloody nora. They then get pissed off when you listen to their conversation, when you're talking at 90000 decibels what am I supposed to do pretend I can't hear you? I'm not even joining in, I'm just laughing at you and that's definitely at you not with you. Phone w***er: There should be a rule against taking phone calls while on a bus unless it is a genuine emergency. I do not need you screaming at whoevers on the other end of the phone. These people go in the same category as bus arguments with two physical people. I don't even want you to answer a phone happily that's still annoying. Bus Flirter: The morons who don't use bus rides as a way of getting from A to B but as a way of getting to D or V. It's genuinely creepy, and I'm sure a form of harassment but yet you still do it. Why do people attempt to chat totally random strangers up on the bus or at bus stops? Surely you realise the uncomfortable position you're putting that sod in and the way your ruining everybody elses journey, especially when the person has given you a total of 35 back off indicators (yes, I counted, bus journeys are boring). Headphone Twats:, Please don't wear headphones on buses, especially if you're stupid enough to drop your ticket. When the bus driver then attempts to give you the ticket back as he's a jobsworth who can't let people travel without valid tickets the entire bus is stood still for ten minutes while the driver tries to fucking locate you. Also in headphones twats go those of you who play music so loud that the people five seats away can hear it, I really don't want to listen to your latest pop shite through crackly headphones. Old People: I don't think I've ever heard anyone over the age of eighty have a meaningful conversation on a bus. I don't care about the telly you watch last night or your grandkids latest innocuous achievement. The thing that gets me the most though is the way you invade busses directly after the curfew on your pass limits has been placed and the way you get to the bus stop long before the curfew is lifted to queue up meaning those of us who arrived for the bus that we can actually get on time have to get past the waiting room for heaven on the way to our bus without bumping into you. Bus Snoggers: Do I even have to explain what's wrong with these people?

Oh, you are such a cunt. Correction, you are a mega-cunt. Whoever removed it previously, go fuck yourself you self-righteous cunt. Have we met? Tempus has learnt a new word at school.

Can you fucking be clear about what the fucking fuck you're fucking talking about please? Why couldn't you have put "China's moon rover declared dead" instead? Many people will be aware that China had recently landed a moon rover and found that fact quite interesting, but not all of us knew it was called "Jade Rabbit" because not every single person necessarily obsesses over every detail of every single story that you do on whatever forum/news website you normally hang out on. And it wasn't exactly given extensive coverage in the UK media. In fact I'd say most people reading that would have thought you were going on about some sodding cartoon character. That's what I thought. This is a problem that happens in regard to a number of different topics/news events all over the internet. People drop obscure names and references all day and presume everyone else knows what they're talking about. Why do so many gormless cunts just assume that just because they are familiar with the details/names involved in something, that means every single person in the world also is? BTW, I had just typed out a rant that was a lot more personally vindictive but decided to delete it because I thought it was good that you posted the news. So you got lucky that you only got called a cunt couple of times. But I'm still angry. Why is this world so full of thick, gormless cunts? I'll second that.

Er.... why would you be so sure he's doing that? Does he have one last really good April fools joke planned or something, just before he pops off? Is he gonna go on air and tell all his faithful that he was just joking and there's no God after all? Probably waiting until Easter to see if JC rises this year, if not he'll give up waiting.

Nah, you're a fucking cunt. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZxTb01OgNE

Maybe it's the wrong time of the month for him...

What a surprise.

Can you fucking be clear about what the fucking fuck you're fucking talking about please? Why couldn't you have put "China's moon rover declared dead" instead? Many people will be aware that China had recently landed a moon rover and found that fact quite interesting, but not all of us knew it was called "Jade Rabbit" because not every single person necessarily obsesses over every detail of every single story that you do on whatever forum/news website you normally hang out on. And it wasn't exactly given extensive coverage in the UK media. In fact I'd say most people reading that would have thought you were going on about some sodding cartoon character. That's what I thought. This is a problem that happens in regard to a number of different topics/news events all over the internet. People drop obscure names and references all day and presume everyone else knows what they're talking about. Why do so many gormless cunts just assume that just because they are familiar with the details/names involved in something, that means every single person in the world also is? BTW, I had just typed out a rant that was a lot more personally vindictive but decided to delete it because I thought it was good that you posted the news. So you got lucky that you only got called a cunt couple of times. But I'm still angry. Why is this world so full of thick, gormless cunts?

It was announced here yesterday on the The Fringes of Fame/Family of the Famous thread

As much as I like the look of what's contained in his tight trousers, it was brought to my attention in the car the other day that Olly Murs also sings songs that are a bit rapey. There I was, in the Scenic, tanking along the A36, having a bit of a Mum-crush while warbling away, when I realised the actual words I was singing - (in no particular order) 'What I've got girl, I know you're gonna love it' 'Won't take no for an answer tonight' 'Tonight nothing's getting in my way, I'm gonna get what's mine' 'Telling me no, no, you really mean yes, yes' There is more, but I'm too distressed to continue, and will be calling Inspector Yewtree immediately.

I must say, watching the old reruns of Blankety Blank on Challenge and picking out panellists who are still (just) with us is proving useful for inspiration...