MMMDP 2021

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem - master, Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day.

This is Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2021 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!)

 

 

 

 

Abdulaziz final public duty - presiding as master over the Masterlist!

 

MMMDP 2021

 

1.       Terry Lubbock (Sean)

2.       Azam Khan. (Drol)

3.       David Battie (Theoldlady)

4.       Imelda Marcos (Bibliogryphon)

5.       Dr. Georgina Morgan (gcreptile)

6.       Bunny Matthews (Captain Chorizo)

7.       Henry ‘Nacho’ Laun (perhaps)   

8.       Vic Elford (Quim Reaper)

9.       MC Ren (Spade Cooley)

10.   Buddhadeb Bhattacharjee (Joey Russ)

11.   Fortune FitzRoy, Duchess of Grafton (Yorkshire Banker)

12.   Mary Quant (Toast)

13.   Susie Steiner (msc)

14.   David Gulpilil (Death Impends)

15.   Alejandro Jodorowsky (Chilean Way)

16.   Martti Ahtisaari (arghton)

17.   Philipp Mickenbecke (Banana)

18.   Donald Zec (Yvonne)

19.   Jack Arends (Grim up North)

20.   Jimmy Greaves (Great Uncle Bulgaria)

21.   Abdulaziz Bouteflika (Maryportfuncity)

 

 

 

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

Non of yer half-baked shite here, proper rules forged over years of intense competition and sound dead pool management, or summat

 

21 entrants (20 quickest off the mark plus your host and - ahem – master, Maryportfuncity). Competition opens on 1 June with the aim of getting a winner by midsummer's day.

Maryport’s Midsummer Madness Dead Pool 2021 (That’ll be MMMDP to you lot!)

 

And those Rules in Full:

 

 

 

1 - The object of the MMMDP is to WIN.

 

 

 

2 - To enter the MMMDP a contestant must have: A candidate not selected by another other entrant.

 

A “candidate” in this context means a living person aged 18 or over who remains alive at midnight on May 31st and is considered likely to cease living soon after and also be capable of gaining a qualifying obit – see rule 9 below – upon death. The only exception to this rule are persons residing on death row with an execution falling within June 2021 (feel free to risk a death rower due to take the final walk from 1 July).

 

 

 

3 - Entries open at 9-00am BST on 31st May and close at midnight on 31 May. Entry can only be made by posting the name of a candidate on the MMMDP thread on the Deathlist.

 

 

 

4 – The competition is deemed to be open at 00-00-01 (i.e. the first second of the day) BST hrs on 1 June 2021.

 

 

 

5 – Competition ceases on the death of the first nominated pick on the list of candidates and the winner is the dead pooler who has selected said candidate.

5a – In the event that all 21 selections remain breathing as of midnight on 21 June competition ceases anyway and the selections are deemed to have won. It is likely – but not mandatory – in these circumstances that DL posters who have not entered will heap mockery and abuse on the 21 entrants who have failed to select a stiff despite the highly permissive policy of entrants and qualifying obits of MMMDP.

 

 

6 – Entry is limited to 21 players (twenty who are obliged to post entries on the MMMDP thread and Maryport who reserves a right of entry as the master of ceremonies for this endeavour). Presumably the artistic intent is obvious but in case you missed it the idea is to get 21 players to compete for a death within 21 days thereby giving us a victory by midsummer’s day at the latest. If you’re snoozin’ you’re losing.

 

 

 

6a – Because he has forced his own entry Maryport guarantees to respect the first 20 qualifying picks and only enter a candidate unselected by the others. Thereby ensuring the really hot selections go to others.

 

 

 

7 - In the event that two players select the same candidate the allocation of the pick will go to the player who first posted an entry for that candidate – even if the entry times are within the same minute.

 

 

 

8 – In the event that two players tie for victory on the basis of picks expiring on the same day all efforts will be made to ascertain a winner on the basis of the actual time of death. For these purposes local time of death will be translated to GMT if required.

 

 

 

9 - An "obit" in the context of the MMMDP is any news report in English from a reliable source. Such sources include - but are not limited to - UK national press, UK national broadcast organisations, foreign press and broadcast organisations with an English language thread to their communication, trade press in English, local news organisations reporting in English and coverage in specialist online sites, such as those monitoring the well-being of super-centenarians. Where dispute arises over the qualifying nature of a news source for obit purposes MPFC's decision is final. But he wants fast and furious competition and is generally very amenable to low hanging dead pool fruit of all varieties.

 

 

 

10 – The Raymond Hewlett Memorial Award applies to the MMMDP. In honour of everybody's favourite Maddie-implicated paedo scum a candidate widely believed to be alive when the winner is declared and subsequently proven to have died previously will be awarded victory in the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit subsequently appears for said candidate. In the event that a MMMDP qualifying obit for the candidate is subsequently proven to have existed prior to commencement of the MMMDP the initial victory will be voided. RHME assisted victory is only available during competition, and in the event that competition is ended before discovery of a qualifying RHME candidate no revision of the final result will occur. Similarly, if some lucky candidate is awarded RHME victory and this victory – once declared – is proven to be spurious by late discovery of a qualifying obit; the lucky winner will be allowed to keep his/her lucky win. With this in mind rule 10a has been drawn up. Given the lengthy build-up and rapid victories of past years the least we should get from the one-day period is some entertaining banter on the thread if some desperate entrant is busily digging on little visited websites for confirmation of death of a “well known” breeder of gerbils or the like!

 

 

 

10a – To ensure smooth operation of rule 10 the period for discovery of result altering obits is deemed to be 48 hours plus the remainder of the calendar day in which victory is first claimed. In other words two days and a part of another day.

 

 

 

11 - If an obited death occurs during play of the MMMDP and is missed despite MPFC's best efforts to stay in touch and/or the spirited efforts of MMMDP participants and said death is missed in totting up points, after which a winner is declared, then this death will not count for competition purposes. The same is true in the case of a known death gathering a late obit and therefore allowing some other competitor to be declared a winner. All disputes relating to rule 11 will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opinion are warmly invited to liven up the MMMDP thread by venting their fury).

 

 

 

12 - In the event that Deathlist editing options or other online trickery is discovered to have been employed in the editing of entries, those duly fingered for such cheating will be removed from the MMMDP and banned for life from subsequent entry into MMMDPs.

 

 

 

13 – In the unlikely event that a pick selected on 31 May fails to mark the start line the entrant selecting said pick will still be deemed to have entered the competition and will have until midnight 1 June to select a new pick (unselected by other entrants). Should the entrant fail to do so no other entrant will be allowed in as a replacement.

 

 

 

14 - A prize will be awarded as follows:

 

i: Should the winner agree to attend a DLCon with MPFC a double measure of alcoholic drinks (pints, wine or spirits) will be supplied by MPFC along with much hearty congratulations and back-slapping.

 

ii: A carefully chosen and appropriate prize will be posted to the winner (such as the DVD copy of the original Death Race movie supplied to the 2009 Deathrace). iii: MPFC will make a charitable donation to a cause of the winner's choice (as has been the case with all but one of the previous winnings of the Deathrace). This course of action is highly encouraged and is known to show dead poolers as something other than the sicko scum many ranters believe us to be.

 

 

 

AND FINALLY...

 

On completion of MMMDP activities the thread will get lively for a short while as losing contestants and spectactors offer well-deserved congratulations to the skilful and highly talented new champion, after which time it is expected that the cooling corpse of the thread will be allowed to gently sink into oblivion.

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

MMMDP Form Guide #1 

 

 

 

An Indian ambulance - the chasing of which is working a treat in the DL Cup, just sayin' 

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

MMMDP Form Guide #2 

 

 

 

Leslie Philips

 

Veteran thespian, evergreen dead pool pick and 97 years old on 20 April. His third wife is almost 40 years his junior, his romantic life can usefully described as "colourful" and his ability to confound dead pool punters is legendary. Nick-named "Ding Dong" (not to be confused with veteran pornster King Dong) and one of those faces you've seen everywhere (assuming you have watched "classic" UK films and television), qualifying obits a certainty even if several major disasters assault the UK at the same moment Ding Dong finally ducks out. 

[CaptainChorizo 1,990]

MMMDP Form Guide #3

 

 

Terry Kilburn

 

One of the last living links to the Golden Age Of Hollywood.The former child actor  played Tiny Tim in the 1938 version of "A Christmas Carol".Has been a widower since 2010 when Charles his partner of 50+ years passed away. Hasn't been since in public since a 2016 local tv interview in which he didn't look like someone who would still be alive in 2021.

[gcreptile 11,037]

MMMDP Form Guide #4

 

 

Dilip Kumar

 

Perennial pick in these games, recently hospitalised, and living in the middle of a pandemic hellhole. Battling it out with Leslie Phillips in the "Smackdown of the immortals". However, in his case, the normal deadpooling rules don't apply and they never have. Pick him at your own risk.

[Spade_Cooley 9,601]

MMMDP Form Guide #5 

 

 

Spotemgottem and Pooh Shiesty

 

They've linked up, but are educated deathlisters saying need it or keep it?

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

MMMDP Form Guide #6 

 

 

 

Betty White

 

Improbably aged thesps are packing the early form-guide posts so let's take time to bring in Betty and remind would-be MMMDPoolers that Philips (97) and Kumar (98) are still behind our G-OLDEN Girl who's fast closing on topping the ton (due 22 January 2022). Dead pool prick tease talent of the highest order and already likely the source of much torn our hair and "I coulda been a contender" rants over large quantities of alcohol as defeated dead poolers dissect their performances in the after-match inquests. Even Zsa Zsa succumbed in the end, and no lesser authority than the collected brains of the DL Committee consider Betty a prominent pick (#2 on the present top 50, making her their highest placed person with a heartbeat as of this post). 

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

MMMDP Form Guide #7

 

 

 

Susie Steiner

 

Critically regarded author and journalist for whom the words "call my agent" have recently taken on a completely different meaning to most authors, since it seems Ms. Steiner's well-being has fallen to the point she's incapably of the usual phone/Zoom communications on her own behalf. Relevant because she's nailed-on obit fodder (The Guardian being long-term employers on her CV) and also because the worst interpretations of her current state tend to focus dead pooling minds on the all-important three week window of the MMMDP.

[Spade_Cooley 9,601]

MMMDP Form Guide #8

 

 

Alejandro Jodorowsky

 

Don't call his name, don't call his name, but the 92-year-old cult film director and rapist/edgelord (delete as applicable) has unsurprisingly slowed down considerably in recent years, with nothing filmed since 2019's "Psychomagic". Could picking him in the 2021 MMMDP make you el topo the class?

[Spade_Cooley 9,601]

MMMDP Form Guide #9

 

 

Sister Jean

 

Everyone's favourite centenarian basketball scout/nun, Sister Jean was back on the media radars earlier this year when she inspired her beloved Loyola Ramblers to a shock win over top-seeded Illinois in the Midwest. Was able to attend some games this year after receiving her COVID-19 vaccine, but could you use her to inspire a similar shock defeat of top seeds like Terry Lubbock, Kat Bjelland and "some Indian politician" in this year's MMMDP?

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

MMMDP Form Guide #10 

 

 

 

Radovan Karadzic 

 

Former Bosnian Serb leader will now continue his confinement in a British jail. Prolonged incarceration isn't exactly what the doctors would order for a 75 year old but the real random element here is how well a man convicted of genocide might survive in a prison system where - ahem - ethic and religious diversity is a noticeable feature. If Jed Mercurio was writing the script the background of every shot would include the vague shape of a person stopping and staring with menace. In reality we're pitting the best protection our prison service can offer a clear target against how clearly 32 virgins can call from one realm to another. If the MMMDP is a bit premature in this regard, 2022's DDP could see a fair  amount of fortunes riding on Radovan's fate.

[arghton 6,829]

MMMDP Form Guide #11

 

 

Kenneth Kaunda

 

Our favourite Zambian despot, old KK celebrated his 97th birthday a while ago. Hospitalized frequently in the 2010s, overweight, can't talk or walk properly anymore and couldn't focus on the camera when visited by the Chinese ambassador a few days before his 97th. One of the last two alive founding fathers of Africa, Kaunda ruled his country for nearly 30 years from 1964 to 1991. African despots have been falling like flies during the last few years (Jawara, Mugabe, arap Moi, Mubarak, Ben Ali and Traoré) and nobody would be suprised if Kenny was next.

[CaptainChorizo 1,990]

MMMDP Form Guide #12

 

 

Pat Carroll

 

Anyone passing up on the ailing 94 year old actress could end up a Poor Unfortunate Soul this June

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

MMMDP Form Guide #12 

 

 

 

Abdulaziz Bouteflika

 

Put it this way, as a former Algerian president and newsworth despotic kind who clung to power long past the point the majority of Algerians thought it a good idea, yer man is nailed on qualifying obit fodder in the most exacting of dead pools (and MMMDP isn't exactly, exacting - though the DL Cup's standards do finally provide a yardstick by which we can claim some standards). Oh aye, and...Boutelflika belongs in the form guide first and foremost because it's advisable when posting anything about him to check he's still alive. When the "he's already dead" stories have flown in the past nobody's thought them fantastic, they've simply waited for confirmation - which is expected sometime soon,

 

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

MMMDP Form Guide #13

 

 

 

Martin Bashir

 

Dicky ticker, decidedly dodgy past and currently being slandered across the slaughterhouse of social media. MMMDP kicks off in less than a fortnight. If people see Martin out and about it may be an act of kindness to throw him some spare change. It may - just - be an act of inspired daring to put a punt on him as May moves into June. 

 

[GuyFromFuture 69]

MMMDP Form Guide #14

 

 

Sidney Walton

 

 

If someone picks Bob Dole before you instead try this alternate WW2 Hero who looks like a walking corpse

[CaptainChorizo 1,990]

MMMDP Form Guide #15

 

 

Meena Khadikar

 

 

 

With  Covid ravaging India,the 89 year old Playback singer might be the best longshot candidate to beat the bookies favorite like Steiner,Lubbock etc.

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

MMMDP Form Guide #16 

 

 

 

Alan Brazil 

 

"He's bald, he's fat, he talks a load of crap." He also turns 62 during the MMMDP window (as if he needed an excuse for a drink and a binge on unhealthy food). Posting photos hereabouts tends to attract comments suggesting he looks like he could explode at any time. Sadly, MMMDP has no bonus for unusual deaths. But in the dead pooling lottery of lotteries he'd be a spectacular strike if he - metaphorically - hit the back of the bet like a few of the screamers he bagged back when he was a professional footballer (yes, young 'uns, really - and he played for Spurs, Manchester United and Scotland). 

[maryportfuncity 10,673]

MMMDP Form Guide #17

 

 

 

Ronald Blythe

 

In answer to the deluge  of "wtf?" comments Blythe's an individual worthy of hauling out into the cruel glare of public attention he's so meticulously shunned. 98, obitable on a busy news week and celebrated for his writing, in particular Akenfield, a social history of Suffolk in which his fictional Akenfield actually shines a light on the lives lived in a village and a hamlet (Charsfield and Debach), places as unassuming as the man who wrote about them. A fuck-tonne of book sales and the ongoing cult success/academic celebration of his best-known work ensures beardy types and young tree huggers will weep into organic muesli at the news of his death. Whether any MMMDP chancer will punch the air at the same time remains a mystery.

[YorkshireBanker 171]

MMMDP Form Guide #18

 

 

Bob Oldis

 

Ye can walk the plank Me Arty if not choosing Oldis the Old Pirate

 

 

 

[Sean 6,348]

Terry Lubbock

[drol 12,085]

Azam Khan. 

[theoldlady 2,337]

David Battie

[Bibliogryphon 9,614]

Imelda Marcos