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Deathrace 2023

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It's fast, it's furious it's f***in' good fun. Teams of 20 topplers posted on this thread or PM'd to MPFC will be collected into a masterlist to provide a carnival of carnage, the counting of which goes live in the first second of 2023. Points aplenty pour into the scoreboard until someone snags the stupendous total of 2023, at which point the event that used to be the fastest deadpool in common useage (until MPFC started something faster!) slams on the brakes and the lucky winner is duly given metaphorical back-slaps and allowed to claim a prize worth about a tenner (though tradition thus far dictates this turns into a charitable donation). Closing date for entries is midnight on 30 December 2022.

 

Currently MC'ing the whole operation is an experienced MC with a fondness for fatality who gamely stepped in when our shortest serving PM crumbled under minimal pressure. 

 

 

e801204461a6f033c7e0cdb474c2bbc1.png

 

 

 

 

 

 

In it to win it this year are...

 

 

An Fear Beag - af

Arghton - ar

BabyBlue - bb

Banana - ba

Bibliogryphon - bg

Book - bk

Caleb H - ch

Captain Chorizo - cc

Captain Hemlock - ck

Deadsox - ds

DeathByArsenic - da

DeathBecomesThem - db

Death Impends - di

Diego - dg

Drol - dr

Dying Probably - dp

Etushispushingupdaisies - et

Famous6Eva - f6

GCReptile - gr

Gooseberry Crumble - gc

Great Uncle Bulgaria - gb

GuyFromFuture - gf

Hell - hl

JoeMoneypenny - jm

JoeyRuss - jr

John Key - jk

TheKillingTime - kt

Ladyfiona - lf

LizLemon - ll

MarinNisia - mn

Maryportfuncity - mp

msc - ms

nantonian2013 - na

Nolito95 - n5

The Old Crem - tc

Pedro67 - p6

RadGuy - rg

Steve - st

Summer in Transilvania - su

John "요한" Sulu - js

theoldlady - to

ThereWillBeDeaths 7 - tw

TheSpinosaurus - ts

Toast - tt

TQR - tq

WEP - wp

WTAF!? - wt

YorkshireBanker - yb

 

 

 

 

 

Top talent aplenty in our list of previous champions:

 

 

2009 - Raskolnikov

2010 - Nobody, I mean f***in' nobody, reached the winning points total

2011 - DDT

2012 - Spade Cooley

2013 - DDT

2014 - Death Impends

2015 - MSC

2016 - DDT

2017 - Death Impends

2018 - MSC

2019 - Phantom of the Midway

2020 - RadGuy

2021 - An Fear Beag

2022 - Banana

2023 - Banana

 

 

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This'll be the list of the lost, then, ably presided over by a literary great who never found the plot when it came to Finnegan's Wake

 

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31 Dec: Pope Benedict – af*, ba, bb, bk*, cc, db, dg, di*, dp, dr*, ds*, gr, hl*, jk*, jr, lf, ll*, mn*, mp*, ms*, na, p6, rg, su*, to*, tc*, tq*, tt, tw, wp, yb* - 365 pts

31 Dec: Khandaker Mahbub – af, ba, dr, gr - 365

31 Dec: Anita Pointer - gc - 365

31 Dec: Jeremiah Green – et, hl, na - 365

1 Jan: N. C. Debbarma – af, cc*, jr, rg, su - 364

1 Jan: Frank McGarvey – ba, bk, et, f6, ms, rg, tc - 364

3 Jan: Elena Huelva – ba, gr - 362

3 Jan: Bessie Hendricks - ds - 362

6 Jan: Gianlucca Vialli – af, ba*, bb, bk, cc, ch, db*, dg, di, dr, et, gf, gr, hl, jm, jr, mn, mp, ms, na*, rg*,su, tc, to, tq, tt, tw* 359

 

 

 

 

 

And, let's have a look at the old scoreboard!

 

 

 

Banana - 2174

An Fear Beag - 1818

RadGuy - 1811

Drol - 1454

Hell - 1454

Book - 1453

msc - 1453

SummerinTransilvania - 1453

The Old Crem - 1453

Captain Chorizo - 1452

gcreptile - 1451

Nantionian2013 - 1448

Deadsox - 1092

Death Impends - 1089

MariNisia - 1089

Maryportfuncity - 1089

TheOldLady - 1089

TQR - 1089

Ethushispushingupdaisies - 1088

JoeyRuss - 1088

DeathBecomesThem - 1083

ThereWillBeDeaths7 - 1083

John Key - 730

Liz Lemon - 730

YorksshireBanker - 730

BabyBlue - 724

Diego - 724

Toast - 724

Dying Probably - 365

Gooseberry Crumble - 365

LadyFiona - 365

Pedro67 - 365

WEP - 365

Famous6Eva - 364

CalebH - 359

GuyFromFuture - 359

JoeMoneypenny - 359

 

 

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The tonnage of talent, the mass of imminent mortality, the deluge of the due to decease, the plethora of potential pushing daisies it'll be....

 

The Masterlist!

 

Aga Khan IV - ar

Emperor Akihito – wt

Sheik Salem Al Ali Al-Sabah Of Kuwait – ar, bb

Omar Al Bashir - dg

George Alagiah – ck, db, dr, gr, jk, hl, na, rg, tc, to, tw, wp, wt

Buzz Aldrin – wt

Harriet Andersson – f6

Kenneth Anger - gc

Ray Anthony – di

Iris Apfel – bg, dp, ll

Paul – Bonehead – Arthurs - ck

Ingrid Arvidsson – f6

John Ashton - jr

Ronnie Atkins - hl

Qapik Attagutsiak - gf

David Attenborough – lf

Christopher Awdrey – st

Shimon Baadani - dr

Burt Bacherach – bb, ll

Princess Bajrakitiyabha - ba, bk, cc, dr, gr, jr, mp, ms, tq, tt*

Tom Baker – lf

Tulsidas Balaram – af, dr, gr, rg, tq

Lynn Reid Banks – yb

Brigitte Bardot - dg

Bob Barker – af, bg, ck, db, di, gb, ll, p6, tw

Thelma Barlow - st

Margaret Stuart Barry – f6

Margaret Barton - yb

Martin Bashir – lf*

Shirley Bassey – n5

Ken Bates - st

Hazel Beard – f6

Harry Belafonte – dp, ll, tt, wt

Maggie Bell - gc

Vera Belmont - yb

Pope Benedict – af*, ba, bb, bk*, cc, db, dg, di*, dp, dr*, ds*, gr, hl*, jk*, jr, lf, ll*, mn*, mp*, ms*, na, p6, rg, su*, to*, tc*, tq*, tt, tw, wp, yb*

Tony Bennett – ck, ds, jk, tt

Solange Berry – ch

Roland Bertin – ch, da

Kathryn Be8vis – mp

Bhuddadeb Bhattacharjee -da

Carlos Bilardo – ch

Tim Bilton - to

Paul Biya – wt

Kat Bjelland – ms, to

Miroslav Blazevic – ch

Ronald Blythe - mp

Jiřina Bohdalová – ch, kt

Ugo Mifsud Bonnici – ar, f6

Boogie2988 – f6

Scotty Bowman – gf

Greg Bretz - rg

Clive Brittain - na

Hugo Broch – lf

Mel Brooks – n5

Carolyn Bryant Donham – bk, ms, tq

Lindsey Buckingham – st

James Buckley - dp

Jack Burke Jr. - na

Rob Burrow – af, bg, bk, et, gb, hl, na, p6, su, tc, to, ts, wp

Dick Button - ll

Ruth Buzzi – bb, ck, db, gf*,ll, mn, st, su, tw, wp

Amanda Bynes – yb

Dick Caine - ba

Bobby Caldwell – da

Bill Campbell – jr*

John Cannan - et

Jimmy Carter – ck, dg, di, dp, ds,  gc, ll, p6, ts, tw

Rosalynn Carter – bg, dp, ll, tw

Dennis Carvalho – ba, cc, dr, gr

Ethel Caterham - mp

Nadia Cattouse – yb

Graham Caveney - ms

Dick Celeste – ar

Peter Cellier - st

Soňa Červená – ch

Bibhash Chakraborty – af, dr, jr

Richard Chamberlain - gc

Violeta Chamorro – bb, dg, to

Edna Child - jm

Teddie Chinnery – bg

Muazzez İlmiye Çığ - gf

Pauline Clayden - gf

Barbara Clegg – bg

Marthe Cohn – ch

Maryse Condé - kt

Constantine II of Greece – dg, kt, p6, ts

Biagio Conte - gr

Sidney Cooke – ar, jm

Eugenia Cooney – lf

Joan Ganz Cooney – ts

Pat Cooper – ck

Roger Corman – st

Fred Cornforth - ba

Simon Cowell (conservationist) – bk, ms, rg

John Cruickshank – di, ds

Derry Crum - ba

Tim Curry – p6

Takamiyama Daigoro – ar

Jim Dale – n5

Tsung Dao-Lee – jm

Dickie Davies - gc

William B Davis – st

N. C. Debbarma – af, cc*, jr, rg, su

Clémence DesRochers – gf

Henry Dickerson – ba, ms

Gautam Dhingra - ba

Billy Dib - ms

Celine Dion - ck

Raif Dizdarević – ch

Shannen Doherty – hl, tc, wt

Caren Marsh Doll – db, dp

Carolyn Bryant Donham – kt, jr

Derek Draper – hl, to, ts, wp

Dick Duff – gf

Sir Patrick Duffy - gf

Dick Van Dyke – dp, lf, n5

Clint Eastwood – db, n5

Lily Ebert - ch

Luis Echeverria – bg

Jango Edwards – bk, cc, dr, jr, rg, wp

Biren Sing Engti - gr

Jan Englert – ch

Rowshan Ershad - jk

Winnie Ewing – da, gc, jm, na, ts, tt

Joe Exotic – na, to

Francoise Fabian - da

Emilio Fede – bb

Benjamin Ferencz - ds

Frank Field – bg, ck, et, gb, hl, jk, ll, mp, ms, p6, RG, st, tc, to, tq, ts, tt, tw, wp

Roberta Flack – da, dg, di, f6, hl, su, tc, tq, wp

Jane Fonda - ck

Giorgio Forattini – bb

Natalie Fornasier – af, ba, bk, gr *, jr, mp, rg

Frederick Forrest - ll

Bas de Gaay Fortman – ch, su

Connie Francis - gf

Pope Francis – lf

Alberto Fujimori – ts

Ed Fury - gc

Marie-France Garaud – jm

Luis Garavito – kt

Andres Garcia – rg, su

Larry Garza – cc, f6, gr, jr, tq

Mohamed El Ghaoui - ba

Johnny Gilbert - di

Rhod Gilbert – dr, et, hl, jk, jr, na, su, tc, to, tq, wp

Francoise Gilot – bb, p6

Gary Glitter – ar

Janey Godley – et, tc

Friedrich Grade - mp

David Graham – bk, da, yb

Michael Gravelle – f6

Jeremiah Green – et, hl, na

Shecky Greene – n5

Alan Greenspan - st

Delfina Guzmán – ch

King Harald V - af

Francoise Hardy - da

Rolf Harris – af, ba, bb*, bg, bk, ch, ck, da, db, dg, di, dr, et, f6, gb*, gr, hl, jr, lf, ll, mn, mp, na, p6*, rg, st, su, tc, to, tq, ts, tt, tw, wp, yb

John Hemingway – mp

Bessie Hendricks - ds

Avery Henry - wp

Encarna Hernandez – jm

Michael Heseltine – gb

Peter Higgs - bg

Jean Hindmarsh - gb

Georgia Holt – bg

Teh Hong Piow – jm – DNS DUE TO DEATH

Khandaker Mahbub Hossain - af

Horst-Dieter Hottges – ts

Elena Huelva – ba, gr

Wang Huo – jm

Douglas Hurd – ar, gb

Jim Inhofe - dp

Michael Ironside - gf

Jonnie Irwin – ba, bk, cc, da, ds, et*, gb, hl, jk, kt*, ms, p6, su, tc, to, ts, wp, yb

Willie Ito - gf

James Ivory – bg

Jean-Pierre Jabouille - ts

Katherine Jackson – bg, tq

Randy Jackson – hl, jk, p6, tc, tt, tw

Wanda Jackson – kt

Al Jaffee – di

Sister Jean - ds

Esther Jenner – kt

Norman Jewison - wt

Glynis Johns – dp, ds, ll, ts, tw

Gywneth Jones - yb

James Earl Jones – ts, wt

Emlain Kabua – ar

Ted Kaczynski – db, dp, jk, na, su, tq

Estanislao Esteban Kalic – dg

Pauline Kana - jk

Chris Katton - gf

Chief Keef – f6

Agnes Keleti – af, bg

Tim Keller - wp

Katie Keltie – hl, mn, na, tc, tt, wp

Ethel Kennedy - gc

Duke of Kent – lf

Ali Khameini- ds

Himanshi Khurana - mn

Val Kilmer – st

Toby Keith – et

Elizabeth Kelly - gf

Tereza Kesovija - da

Don King – bb

Joe Kinnear - bk

Abigail Kinoiki Kekaulike Kawānanakoa – bb, jm – DNS DUE TO DEATH

Henry Kissinger – dp, ds, jm, ll, n5, p6, wt

George Kooymans – et, tw

Kris Kristofferson – p6

Milan Kundera – cc, db, f6*, mn, tt

Rusty Kuntz – yb

Janice Laking - gf

Helene Langevin-Joliot – da

Piper Laurie - gc

Phyllida Law - yb

Ray Lawler – bg

Nigel Lawson – gb, gc, st

George Lazonby – n5

Norman Lear – di, st, tw

Jeanette Lee - db

Philomena Lee – kt

Tom Lehrer - gb

Jean-Marie Le Pen – da*, dg, f6, to, tq

David J. Linden- jk

Tim Lobinger – ba, gr, jr, wp

June Lockhart – bg, na

Gina Lollobrigida – n5*,

Shane MacGowan – ar, dg, dp, lf, mn

Khandaker Mahbub – ba, dr, gr

Jayanta Mahapatra - jm

James Mackay – bg

Josip Manolic – dg, dp, tq, tt

Doreen Mantle – tt

Imelda Marcos - dp

Dave Marsh – gb

Jean Marsh – st, tt

Amelita Martinez-Ramos – kt

Tony Marshall - bk

Jamila Massey – kt

Claire Maurier - da

Elaine May – wt

Kenneth McAlpine – di, mp

Hazel McCallion – dp*, gf, su, yb

Theodore McCarrick – tw

Virginia Halas McCaskey – ds, lf

Malachy McCourt – ck, kt, mn, rg, su, tq, wt

Frank McGarvey – ba, bk, et, f6, ms, rg, tc

Edie McClurg – ck

Billy McCullough - gc

Steve McMichael – bk, cc, ch, ck*, db, di, dr, et, hl, jm*, ll, mn, ms, rg, tc, wp

Terry Medwin – yb

Amazonino Mendes - dr

Pierre Menes- na

Karl Merkatz – da – DNS DUE TO DEATH

Rokusaburo Michiba – jm

Empress Michiko – wt

Vera Miles – n5

Marga Minco – kt

Liza Minnelli – jk, tt

Walter Mirisch – wt

Giorgia Moll – da

Juan Vicente Perez Mora - ds

Jose Mujica – bb

Cynthia Mulligan – na

Alice Munro - bb

Durai Murugan - af

Tomiichi Murayama - mn

Rupert Murdoch - gb

Pete Murray - gb

Pervez Musharraf – cc, db, ds, mp, ts

Giorgio Napolitano – dg, mn, ts, tw

Alexandre do Nascimento – bb

Willie Nelson – kt

Bob Newhart – ck

Whitey von Nieda – cc, dr

Jack Nicholson - st

Linda Nolan – db, dp, et, gb, hl, jk, lf, mn, p6, tc, to

Sam Nujoma – ar

Laura Nutt8all - mp

Henry Nwosu - ar

Sandra Day O’Connor – ll, ts

Ryan O’Neal - jk

Sadaharu Oh – jm

Janet Oke – kt

Rubén Olivares – kt

Yoko Ono – bb, mn, n5

Tin Oo – jm

Abel Pacheco - gc

Janis Paige – wt

Daniel N. Paul - ba

Sharad Pawar – ar*, da

Pele – bg, ck*, db, dg*, di, et*, f6, gb*, gf, hl*, ll*, mp*, na, st, to*, ts, tw, wp*, yb – DNS FFS!

Caupolicán Peña – ch

Valerie Perrine – db, mn, yb

Bob Pettit - ck

Vicky Phelan – bb, jm*, ts – DNS DUE TO DEATH

Florin Piersic – ch

Leonard Pietraszak – bb

Mark Pilgrim - gr

Franca Pilla - bb

Song Ping – ar, cc, ds, jm, mp

Hugues Claude Pissarro – ar

Wendy Playfair - gc

Eve Plumb – gf

Roman Polanski - gc

Wanda Polatawska – cc, di, rg

Anita Pointer - gc

Iggy Pop – ar

John Prescott - gc

Larry Pressler – ll, rg

Vladimir Putin – dg, lf, to

Marita Camacho Quiros – di

Lucile Randon – bk, di, ds, f6, n5, p6, to, tq

Siiri Rantanen - cc

Jamie Raskin - na

Queen Ratna of Nepal – kt

Ray Reardon – p6

Vanessa Redgrave – jk, lf, ll, n5, tw

Line Renaud – da

John Rhodes – dg

Jake Roberts - tc

Gavin Robertson – to

Linda Ronstadt – ck, p6

Zhu Rongji – jm

Basil van Rooyen – f6

Ned Rorem – lf

Jane Rossington - gc

Patricia Routledge – ar, bg, ch, jm, lf, p6

Johnny Ruffo – bb, mn, ms, tc, ts*

William Russell - tt

Eve Marie Saint – dg*, dp, p6, ts, tw

Ruichi Sakomoto – et, gr, hl, ll, su, tc

Jose Sarney - yb

Kaikala Satyanarayana – ar, lf - DNS DUE TO DEATH

Prunella Scales – lf, n5

Norman Scarth – ar

Liliana Segre - gb

Carmen Sevilla – wt

Vic Seixas – dg

Mutulu Shakur – ba, bk, gr, jr, ms, rg

Amit Sharma - af

Costas Simitis  - gc

Kim Simmonds – ck – DNS DUE TO DEATH

Fauja Singh - mp

Khamtai Siphandone – su, wt*, yb

Ski Mask the Slump God – f6

Félix Sienra – dg

Princess Sirindhorn- af

Tammy Slaton – f6

Sen Sōshitsu XV - ar

Kim Soo-yong – jm

George Soros - st

June Spencer – bb, bg, di, dp, gb, lf, mn, mp, ts

June Squibb – f6

Rosemary Squires – gc

Thomas Patten Stafford - mn

Nigel Starmer-Smith – af, bk, da, db, di, et, gb, mp, ms, na, to, tq, ts, tt

Bill Steel - cc

Stella Stevens – ll, tt

Mark Stokes – af, ms, rg - DNS DUE TO DEATH (CONTROVERSIAL MIND, SEE POST 1 JAN, LATE ON, PILE IN IF YOU DISAGREE!)

Chris Stone – jr, ms

Mike Summerbee – kt

Try Sutrisno - dr

Inga Swenson - gf

Miiko Taka – wt

Fusa Tatsumi – cc, dr

Andy Taylor (Duran Duran) – ck, et, gf, hl, jk, lf, na, st, ts, tw, wp

Otis Taylor - ds

Teresa Taylor/Nervosa – ba, bk, cc, et, gr, jr, mp, ms, wp

Patrick Tambay – mp – DNS DUE TO DEATH

Norman Tebbit – db, et, gb, gc*, su, tq

Colin Thackery – gb

Ada Thompson - mp

Michael Tilson Thomas – bb, jr, wt

Nathalia Timberg – f6

Chaim Topol – db, su, tw

Bill Treacher – bg. lf – DNS DUE TO DEATH

Tina Turner – ck, st*

Gudrun Ure – mn, yb

Jorge Molina Vaidivieso - kt

Brenda Vaccaro – jm

Brenka Veselinovic - da

Gianlucca Vialli – af, ba*, bb, bk, cc, ch, db*, dg, di, dr, et, gf, gr, hl, jm, jr, mn, mp, ms, na*, rg*,su, tc, to, tq, tt, tw*

John Wakeham – gb

Norma O. Walker - gf

Barbara Walters – bg, ll, rg, ts – DNS DUE TO DEATH

Julie Walters - jk

Jim Ward - ms

James Watson – bg*, tt

Wei Wei - dg

Lowell Weicker – ch*

Sandra Weir – bb, yb – DNS DUE TO DEATH

Don West – bk, da, di, dr, jm, mn, rg – DNS DUE TO DEATH

Kanye West – da

Charles "Chas" Wetherbee - gr

James Whale – af, bk, db, di, dp, dr, ds, et, hl, jk, jr, ms, na, rg, st, su, tc, to, tq, tw, wp, wt, yb

Harry Whittington - su

Dot Wilkinson - yb

Richard Williams – kt

Wendy Williams – ck

Barry Windham - cc

Steve Wochy - ds

Joanna Woodward – db, ll, mn, tt, wt

Nikos Xanthopoulos – af, cc, dr, gr

Lalu Prasad Yadav - af

Arnold Yarrow – di

Lu Yuanjiu - dr

Bat Ye'or (Conspiracy theorist) - ar

Yang You – jm

Asif Ali Zardari - ds

Anastasia Zavorotnyuk - jk

Volodymyr Zelenskyy – p6

Milos Zeman - tq

Khaleda Zia - jk

Jutta  Zilliacus - ch

 

 

 

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Parliamentary veteran Frank fielded queiries about the rules a year ago, and duly disappeared in anticipation of immenent death - but, he's back again this year!

 

 

Official_portrait_of_Frank_Field.jpg

 

 

 

 

Deathrace 2023 - Those Rules in Full:

 

 

1 - The object of the Deathrace is to be the first contestant to reach 2023 points.

 

2 - To enter the Deathrace a contestant must have:

 

i: a team of twenty topplers and a minimum of two subs ("topplers" must be at least 18 years old on 1 Jan 2023; but are otherwise unrestricted).

ii: Deathlist membership (i.e. be at least a pointless ranter and at most a dedicated Cumbrian corpse hound, or summat)

 

2a: A player may enter as many team members facing execution as s/he wants but said picks will only count for deathrace points if they die by means other than state execution - murder, suicide, ill health etc.

 

3 - Entries close promptly at midnight on 30 December 2022 and entry can be made either by sending a team of twenty to MPFC via PM hereabouts and/or by posting a team of twenty on the Deathrace 2023 thread.

 

3a: Once a team has entered in the manner described above the line-up can’t be changed for any other reason than the death of a team member before the start of the competition. In the event of a team being short of members because of more deaths than available subs MPFC will negotiate last minute changes with the team manager.

 

4 - Players score points every time a team member dies and accrues an obit (see point 9 below) and the score for each death is calculated as one point for each complete calendar day remaining in 2023 after the death of the team member; so a death on 1 January earns 364 pts, a death on 2 January earns 363 pts etc.

 

5 - Each team must nominate one member as a joker and the joker scores double points on death. Any team submitted without a clearly nominated joker will be allotted said joker on the basis of the name at the top of the team sheet being so designated.

 

6 - The winner is the first player to reach or exceed 2023 pts.

 

7 - In the event that a death or deaths on a specific day push more than one player beyond a winning score the player with the highest overall score will be deemed to be the winner.

 

8 - In the event that two or more players tie for victory a Deathrace play off will ensue with all potential winners continuing to compete until such time as one potential winner scores more points than any other potential winner (such points continuing to be accrued as per the scoring system described in point 4 above).

 

9 - An "obit" in the context of the Deathrace is any news report in English from a reliable source. Such sources include - but are not limited to - UK national press, UK national broadcast organisations, foreign press and broadcast organisations with an English language thread to their communication, trade press in English, local news organisations reporting in English and coverage in specialist online sites, such as those monitoring the well-being of super-centenarians. Where dispute arises over the qualifying nature of a news source for obit purposes MPFC's decision is final. But he wants fast and furious competition and is generally very amenable to low hanging dead pool fruit of all varieties.

 

10 - To qualify for entry purposes team members must be alive at 00-01 hrs on 1 January 2023 or qualify for the Raymond Hewlitt Memorial Exemption (RHME) (see point 11).

 

11 - In honour of everybody's favourite Maddie-implicated paedo scum a candidate widely believed to be alive on 1 January and subsequently proven to have died previously will be awarded 365 points in the event that a Deathrace qualifying obit subsequently appears for said candidate. In the event that a Deathrace qualifying obit for the candidate is subsequently proven to have existed prior to commencement of the Deathrace all points will be voided. RHME points are only available during competition and in the event that a winner has been declared before discovery of a qualifyiing RHME candidate no revision of the final result will occur. Similarly, if some lucky candidate is awarded RHME points and these points are still in play at the time a winner is declared the points will not subsequently be voided and may - therefore - count towards a championship. All disputes relating to RHME will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opionion are warmly invited to liven up the Deathrace thread by venting their fury).

 

11a - Similarly to pt 11 above, if an obited death occurs during play of the Deathrace and is missed despite MPFC's best efforts to stay in touch and/or the spirited efforts of Deathrace participants, and said death is missed in totting up points, after which a winner is declared, then this death will not count for competition purposes. The same is true in the case of a known death gathering a late obit and therefore allowing some other competitor to be declared a winner. Traditionally a period of around a day is allowed after a proven winning score has been attained before formal declaration of a winner to allow for the contingencies covered by rule 11a. All disputes relating to rule 11a will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opionion are warmly invited to liven up the Deathrace thread by venting their fury).

 

 

 

12 - In the event that Deathlist editing options or other online trickery is discovered to have been employed in the editing of teams, those duly fingered for such cheating will be removed from the Deathrace and banned for life from subsequent entry into Deathraces.

 

13 - The prize will be awarded as follows:

 

i: Should the winner agree to attend a DLCon with MPFC a double measure of alcholic drinks (pints, wine or spirits) will be supplied by MPFC along with much hearty congratulations and back-slapping.

 

ii: A carefully chosen and appropriate prize will be posted to the winner (such as the DVD copy of the original Deathrace movie supplied to the 2009 champion). iii: MPFC will make a charitable donation to a cause of the winner's choice (as has been the case with all but one winnings of the Deathrace). This course of action is highly encouraged and is known to show dead poolers as something other than the sicko scum many ranters believe us to be.

 

 

AND FINALLY...

 

A masterlist of entries will be posted after the closing date.

 

MPFC will undertake to update the scoreboard at least once every seven days - typically much more frequently than that.

 

On completion of Deathrace activities the thread will get lively for a short while as losing contestants and spectators offer well-deserved congratulations to the skillful and highly talented new champion, after which time it is expected that the cooling corpse of the thread will be allowed to gently sink into oblivion.

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Deathrace Form Guide #1 

 

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Shane MacGowan 

 

Let's celebrate the opening of the 2023 event with a word-for-word re-run of the first candidate on the 2022 form guide. Yer man Shane was then described as..."Perennial pisshead, die-hard drug hoover and all round self-abuse champion with a pedigree stretching back to the start of this site, and before that. Previously a permanent tease for dead poolers of all descriptions but as a few of his ilk have shown, none of these hard livers fond of liver damage are immortal. George Best was 59 (and he took exercise with his plethora of pop), Oliver Reed was 61, Shane turns 64 on Christmas Day." So, he's 65 when the 2023 event starts, then!

 

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Deathrace Form Guide #2 

 

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Linda Nolan

 

Celebrity from a singing sisterhood more famous hereabouts as a perennial potential points bonanza, currently sitting third on the most picked personages on the 2022 Derby Dead Pool with 116 teams hoping for a late harvest. If she sees 2023, we'll doubtless see her in the masterlist.

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Deathrace Form Guide #3

 

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Kaikala Satyanarayana (did I spell that correctly?)

 

Indian Telugu cinema star and politician. More known on these forums and outside Asia for having been a Deathrace pick for two teams a year ago when he was "very critical" on ventilator and underwent a tracheotomy following severe septic shock and multiple organ failure caused by covid, a fall and a lung infection. He seemed fucked, then made a complete recovery, then turned out the news of that complete recovery was fake and he's actually still very ill, as you don't just recover from multiple organ failure and a severe septic shock at 86. With a permanent tracheotomy connected to a ventilator and other machines keeping him alive, anything could kill him, for example an infection, a massive asteroid, polonium, a sharp knife, a dull knife, heart failure or a short power outage. 

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Deathrace Form Guide #4

 

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Bas de Gaay Fortman

 

Everyone's* favourite octogenarian Dutch politician. He will match his late father's age in 2023 and wasn't looking too great earlier this year. 

 

*Quota: Myself. 

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Deathrace Form Guide #5

image.thumb.png.9240b617b803f3ae6b5842940db5e661.png

 

  Wei Wei

 

You might be pissed at yourself if you miss out a potential hit from the Centenarian Chinese Actress

 

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Deathrace form guide #6

 

Random celebrity generator landed at.... Iggy Pop

https://www.randomcelebritygenerator.com/

IGGY POP Postpones Two Shows On European Tour After 'Croaking' His Way  Through Athens Concert - BLABBERMOUTH.NET

 

75 years old....how did he ever get to that age?? Surely his time will be over any second now.

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Deathrace Form Guide #7

 

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Vladimir Putin 

 

No shortage of rumours, no shortage of enigmatic video evidence suggesting summat's wrong and no shortage of problems that'd be lessened should sudden, or near sudden death collide with with despot apparently packing no reverse gears. Nowt conclusive in any of this, but one of the only places his popularity is notably on the increase is with dead poolers.  

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Deathrace Form Guide #8

 

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Rolf Harris

 

Nonagenarian neck-cancerist with a notoriety suggesting any well-meaning intervention by way of well wishes will be cancelled out by a tonnage of pins assaulting bearded voodoo dolls. After a lifetime of television appearances his most recent outing a few days ago involved an all time low in which Jimmy Carr set about destroying an artwork by a man once deemed collectable. The one remaining question with regard to this thread is why anyone, faced with the news of a still breathing Rolf on New Year's Day wouldn't collect him within their 20 topplers. 

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Deathrace Form Guide #9

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Ruth Buzzi

 

The Laugh-In comedienne was born in Rhode Island,  which is in fact not an island and was the last of the 13 colonies to ratify the U.S. constitution. Keep in mind that if you pick her to 23 skidoo in '23 she might hit you over the head with her purse.

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Deathrace Form Guide #10

 

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diego

 

Continues to like every post despite frequent uproar. Personally, I have nothing against that, it just seems a wee bit pointless if the website already keeps track of unread content for one. However, others disagree. Will diego give in to the peer pressure protecting them from sanction? Will their account see the coming year? Will they outlast it? 

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Deathrace Form Guide #11

 

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Takamiyama Daigorō

 

My yearly Sumo-related suggestion for your lists. Born Jesse James Wailani Kuhaulua in Maui, Hawaii, Takamiyama Daigorō is a sumo wrestler known for being one of the first foreign sumo wrestlers and the first foreign-born Sumo wrestler to win the top division championship in July '72. He even received a congratulatory letter from POTUS Richard Nixon, read out by the US Ambassador to Japan. He broke a ton of other records in Sumo too, one example being that he was the first foreign-born wrestler ever to take charge of a training stable in 1986, but his probably most interesting record was that he was the first sumo wrestler to weigh over 200kg/450lbs. As shown in the picture, during his sumo days his trademarks were his sideburns and bright orange Mawashi (Sumo loincloth) and due to his appearance and traits he became a widely known figure in Japan even to those who did not follow Sumo wrestling. In 2009 he reached the Sumo Association's mandatory retirement age of sixty-five and handed over the running of his stable to Ushiomaru Motoyasu (1978-2019). Now 78, Takamiyama Daigorō is quite ancient for a sumo wrestler and needed two sticks to walk when he attended Ushiomaru Motoyasu's funeral in 2019. He was rumored to be in declining health in 2010 and social media rumors say he has lost a ton of weight this year.

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Deathrace Form Guide #12

 

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Harrison Ruffin Tyler

 

A long time ago, a forgotten 19th-century US president had a shag in his final years. A son came out of it, and said son too had a shag in his final years. The end result is Harrison Ruffin Tyler, doddering on as a living relic of history. Now has no memories of his grandpa due to suffering from dementia. And the whole "died 66 years before he was born" thing.

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Deathrace Form Guide #13

image.jpeg.352a265f6fd5f3b899260ce920612b7c.jpegimage.jpeg.6ed3d2c54245b0f21ed1b15b5ef11367.jpeg

 

Carolyn Bryant Donham

 

The woman partially responsible for the lynching of Emmett Till back in 1955, and one of the few remaining "villains" of the civil rights era. There have been recent attempts to bring her to justice, but it has also been reported that she had cancer and was receiving end-of-life hospice care at the beginning of August.

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Há 1 hora, Summer na Transilvânia disse:

Guia de Forma de Corrida Mortal #10

 

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Diego

 

Continua a gostar de todos os postes, apesar do alvoroço frequente. Pessoalmente, eu não tenho nada contra isso, parece apenas um pouco inútil se o site já mantém o controle de conteúdo não lido para um. No entanto, outros discordam. Diego cederá à pressão dos pares protegendo-os da sanção? A conta deles vai ver o próximo ano? Eles vão durar mais que isso?

I want to be with you next year, I've been looking for a site like this for so long, with subjects I like, I wouldn't want to leave

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Deathrace Form Guide #14

 

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Ray Anthony

 

Dual "WTF still alive" as both a survivor of the Glenn Miller Orchestra and a living Big Band leader in his own right, who continues to stand as much younger music names perish. The veteran trumpeter was in decent shape at his centennial earlier this year, but at that age anything can happen. He had a hit with the Dragnet theme, will he be done duh done done early next year?

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12 hours ago, Summer in Transylvania said:

Deathrace Form Guide #10

 

Screenshot_20221101_232718_com.duckduckgo.mobile.android_edit_90362223700793.jpg

diego

 

Continues to like every post despite frequent uproar. Personally, I have nothing against that, it just seems a wee bit pointless if the website already keeps track of unread content for one. However, others disagree. Will diego give in to the peer pressure protecting them from sanction? Will their account see the coming year? Will they outlast it? 

 

 

I'm stating here and now there's no evidence that Diego's q/o chances qualify, even for the highly tolerant standards exercised by the Deathrace.

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11 hours ago, Drewsky1211 said:

Deathrace Form Guide #13

image.jpeg.352a265f6fd5f3b899260ce920612b7c.jpegimage.jpeg.6ed3d2c54245b0f21ed1b15b5ef11367.jpeg

 

Carolyn Bryant Donham

 

The woman partially responsible for the lynching of Emmett Till back in 1955, and one of the few remaining "villains" of the civil rights era. There have been recent attempts to bring her to justice, but it has also been reported that she had cancer and was receiving end-of-life hospice care at the beginning of August.

 

 

Swipe right clickbait of the highest order for the few surviving Nazis of the original Hitler Youth.

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Deathrace Form Guide #15

 

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Billy Two Rivers

 

An 87-year-old professional wrestler, which in normal people terms is the equivalent of being roughly 150. A major draw in both Canada and the UK during the 60s and 70s, never forget he is - and this isn't Wikipedia vandalism no matter how much it looks like it - the father of 1990s British fashion designer and TV talking head show regular Wayne Hemmingway. 

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1 hour ago, maryportfuncity said:

 

 

I'm stating here and now there's no evidence that Diego's q/o chances qualify, even for the highly tolerant standards exercised by the Deathrace.

I’m sure someone can pay off the express to write a obituary for him. Would be great for clickbait

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Deathrace Form Guide #16

 

oredsson.png.e4cf54c55b9559288eeb68162f2250da.png

 

Vera Oredsson

 

Want another hit that you can celebrate? Vera Oredsson, the godmother of Swedish nazism and the Nordic Resistance Movement is here to help you. Daughter of a member of the original Nazi paramilitary, she was a member of the female wing of the Nazi Youth from 1938. She went to Sweden as a refugee via White Buses and married Sweden's top nazi, later married Sweden's other top nazi and then became Sweden's top nazi and the first woman to lead a political party in Sweden. She once saw Hitler in 1938 and still, 84 years later, for her the führer is above everyone. She has since her childhood slept with a picture of Hitler above her bed. She wears a Hitler necklace at all times, is a holocaust denialist and is known for doing Nazi salutes in public, has been arrested a couple of times for it. Now 94 and according to herself in slowly failing health, it's soon time for her to join her beloved führer - in the deepest depths of hell.

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18 hours ago, diego said:

I want to be with you next year, I've been looking for a site like this for so long, with subjects I like, I wouldn't want to leave

I hope you stay too, the more the merrier. As I said, I have no problem with you continually liking posts, it is just that the majority of users that have commented on such have been against your actions. 

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