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Death Impends

Derby Dead Pool 2024

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1 hour ago, Salmon Mousse said:

 

It's just such a useless age bracket for the playing of the game, even with the potential bonus. 

Hence why I didn't pick her.Picked Carter as still don't see him making 100.I also picked June Spencer but only on a theme team as she was a possible  but not too likely Drop 40 pick .Also picked William Russell on a theme team but he is still in his nineties until November plus again it's a theme team so different thresholds.

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6 minutes ago, Sean said:

Hence why I didn't pick her.Picked Carter as still don't see him making 100.I also picked June Spencer but only on a theme team as she was a possible  but not too likely Drop 40 pick .Also picked William Russell on a theme team but he is still in his nineties until November plus again it's a theme team so different thresholds.

I have Carter on my main team and also Elizabeth Kelly and Arnold Yarrow - both of whom I wonder if they will die of radar. 

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22 minutes ago, The Old Crem said:

I have Carter on my main team and also Elizabeth Kelly and Arnold Yarrow - both of whom I wonder if they will die of radar. 

Kelly could already be dead and with a common name it'd be harder to find out. Yarrow dying otr has never even crossed my mind because his involvement in Doctor Who means the show's Grimreaper (Toby Hadoke) would never let his death go unannounced.

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Just now, Commtech Sio Bibble said:

Kelly could already be dead and with a common name it'd be harder to find out. Yarrow dying otr has never even crossed my mind because his involvement in Doctor Who means the show's Grimreaper (Toby Hadoke) would never let his death go unannounced.

She was still alive a couple of years ago according to autograph hunters. But at the age she is if she is still alive I am more and more skeptical that she still is. 
 

It’s shame Eileen Derbyshire never appeared in Doctor Who - with Toby’s wife working on Corrie we would be assured of hearing about her death then. 

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12 minutes ago, The Old Crem said:

She was still alive a couple of years ago according to autograph hunters. But at the age she is if she is still alive I am more and more skeptical that she still is. 
 

It’s shame Eileen Derbyshire never appeared in Doctor Who - with Toby’s wife working on Corrie we would be assured of hearing about her death then. 

The big difference with Kelly and Derbyshire is connections, Kelly played and more minor character who left Eastenders over 20 years ago whereas Derbyshire played one of the biggest characters on Corrie and hasn't even been gone a decade. Eileen Derbyshire is never going die unnoticed, old colleagues like Charlie Lawson will be on twitter paying respects within hours of finding out.

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18 minutes ago, The Old Crem said:

She was still alive a couple of years ago according to autograph hunters. But at the age she is if she is still alive I am more and more skeptical that she still is. 
 

It’s shame Eileen Derbyshire never appeared in Doctor Who - with Toby’s wife working on Corrie we would be assured of hearing about her death then. 

Eileen Derbyshire dying off radar won't happen.Even her husband got a QO and had no claim to fame.Her son would announce it plus she is known to be close to many of her Corrie colleagues especially William Roache who can't exactly keep a secret.

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18 minutes ago, Commtech Sio Bibble said:

The big difference with Kelly and Derbyshire is connections, Kelly played and more minor character who left Eastenders over 20 years ago whereas Derbyshire played one of the biggest characters on Corrie and hasn't even been gone a decade. Eileen Derbyshire is never going die unnoticed, old colleagues like Charlie Lawson will be on twitter paying respects within hours of finding out.

Her son is a sports writer for the mail and wrote about his father's death 3 years ago so It seems inconceivable he wouldn't announce his mother's death.

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On 01/01/2024 at 17:33, Spade_Cooley said:

 

Because if my husband was about to drop dead I wouldn't let myself be papped wearing a Santa hat and doing the Tesco shop.

This didn't age well.

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1 minute ago, drol said:

This didn't age well.

 

You think that's bad. Apparently I typo'd Derek Draper on my DDP team. DI, Banana, everyone calls that guy Christoph Daum round these parts... :D

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11 hours ago, Sean said:

Eileen Derbyshire dying off radar won't happen.Even her husband got a QO and had no claim to fame.Her son would announce it plus she is known to be close to many of her Corrie colleagues especially William Roache who can't exactly keep a secret.

True. 
 

Though Paula Tillbrook did over 20 years in Emmerdale and her death was unreported for seven months despite not leaving that long before either. Andy Devine’s death also didn’t make the press for months and his old cast mates didn’t find out till the press reported it. So it not impossible for long serving soap actors to slip through the cracks as well. 

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Draper continues my perfect streak of January DDP hits for the 12th year running :party:

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11 hours ago, Commtech Sio Bibble said:

The big difference with Kelly and Derbyshire is connections, Kelly played and more minor character who left Eastenders over 20 years ago whereas Derbyshire played one of the biggest characters on Corrie and hasn't even been gone a decade. Eileen Derbyshire is never going die unnoticed, old colleagues like Charlie Lawson will be on twitter paying respects within hours of finding out.

Charlie Lawson was the first to report Peter Armitage’s death hours before any of the press then picked it up.

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17 hours ago, gcreptile said:

Deathlist virtually leading the DDP for the first time in years? (No, I dont know the teams yet).

Deathlist now at 17-20 points?

I am not sure if Glynis Johns was Drop 40, but I guess she was (well, and Derek Draper... who am I kidding, he surely is.).

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14 hours ago, Salmon Mousse said:

 

I suppose.  Back when I spent far more time delving into the math of DDP, it became apparent that a hit in this age bracket was as bad as a complete whiff in most others.  A team comprised of nothing but 100 year olds, in which every single pick dropped dead, would've only scored 83 points (assume Johns went after her birthday).  Scoring was abnormally low last year so that would've netted a T13... which I guess would be meaningful to someone somewhere.

 

I mean, I'm legit trying to have a team with 20 hits at some point, so I'm less concerned about the points and more about the number of hits - mind, I still enjoy being higher up in the rankings than the previous year, but I'm also playing against myself in a way

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Here's my team.  I'm not expecting great things this year, I didn't research very well this time and there might be a couple of duds. 

 

I think I've still got the most hits (and points?) overall on the DDP and I want to try and hold on to that record for as long as possible. 

 

  1. Theo Burrell 

  2. Bernadette Chirac

  3. Graham Caveney

  4. Derek Draper

  5. Mohammed Deif

  6. Charlie Bird

  7. Kathy Brown 

  8. Jason Smith

  9. James Whale

  10. Frank Field

  11. Esther Rantzen

  12. Craig Maxwell

  13. Frank Caprio

  14. Jimmy Carter

  15. Rob Burrow

  16. Michael Tilson-Thomas

  17. Jonnie Irwin

  18. Francoise Hardy

  19. Pat Dodson 

  20. Dave Myers

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I don't yet have access to the master file but trawling through the submitted emails, at least one team has Soul.

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1 hour ago, Death Impends said:

I don't yet have access to the master file but trawling through the submitted emails, at least one team has Soul.

 

I do now. Two teams have Soul.

 

BTW, 220 teams have Carter. Potentially more if any teams fell down sofa. Most since Zsa Zsa in 2014.

 

Glynis and Draper are Drop 40. Putin, Kate Keltie, and Rhod Gilbert won't be. Nor Randy Jackson, who is on fewer teams than Scott Thorson.

 

Should be enough to whet y'alls appetite till we're properly up.

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I think we now up to seven hits with Mairo Zagallo. 

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I'm proud to present my theme (and only) team, Lil Tay Is Not Dead but Alive With Soul. It's named after David Gest's aged-like-milk tour. All these names were incorrectly or maliciously pronounced dead within the last 18 months. This is my favourite theme team I've done, if only for the sheer absurdity you're about to read.


 

Name | backstory | how convincing was the hoax?

 

Linda Nolan [JOKER] | Some boomer heard Linda Lewis was dead and sent condolences to the Nolan family. 2/10

Purple Aki | Twitter users reported he was found dead in his flat in Leeds. All rumours about this man are true until proven false. 8/10

Jimmy Carter | Announced in November 2022 by an account called CarterCenterUS, run by he-who-shall-not-be-named. Proud to say I helped stop the spread of misinformation. 6/10

Raul Castro | This one came about just before I submitted my team and was quickly shut down. 4/10

Simon Cowell (TV guy with uncanny face) | People edited photos to make it look like he was seriously ill or dead and Sinitta fell for it LOL. 1/10

Yael Dayan | Locally reported to have died from COPD. Commented herself that she was fine. Still dying from COPD, I presume??? 5/10

Cardinal Alexandre do Nascimento | 2 separate hoaxes last Spring. Who has the time or interest? 7/10

Mary Marquis | Scottish Twitter figures who looked up to her thought she was dead. 9/10

Zubin Mehta | Cancelled shows in Berlin and then 'died'. Convenient timing. He wasn't even in Europe. 4/10

David Neilson | This weird memorial website posted an obituary, but it made it t' forum. 3/10

Ozzy Osbourne | He found a picture of himself in a YouTube memorial, but didn't do a Marcus Garvey. 0/10

Vladimir Putin | When is he not being falsely killed off? 2/10

Thomas Robb | Wikipedia vandalism. Fingers crossed though. 3/10

Linda Robson | The Loose Women cast were being killed off at an alarming rate by Twitter users. She posted a response video where she pretended to be undead, pretty good sport. 1/10

Amartya Sen | Reported by Deccan Herald and Times of India, thanks to a hoax account and despite his daughter denying it. 6/10

Try Sutrisno | Multiple hoaxes circulated on "messaging applications". Meh. 4/10

Loretta Swit | Again, some people on Twitter were sad to hear from somewhere that she died. As a bonus, she got some automated tribute videos (not that kind, get your mind out the gutter). 5/10

Denise Welch | Wild combination of Twitter fantasy-writing and Wikipedia vandalism. "The Gay, Horny Pink from the African tribe of Welch's" suffered heartburn from watching Hollyoaks, was struck down by lightning from the 5G tower masts, then had a bout of explosive diarrhoea at her personal toilet, then was run over by Kerry Riches' mobility scooter after it was hijacked on a drunken rampage by Farida Khalifa, hair and makeup artist for the traveller gypsy community. Her name was changed to Theynise Squelch, Jesus, "I need a man", Loreen, P!nk, Blackpink, Holly Jervis, and Honest Vocal Coach; her picture was changed to June Whitfield's by a user named Dula Peep. 0/10 but funny

Bruce Willis | Those lame Facebook posts that put 2 dates on a picture with excessive HDR and mums and dads in Nigeria and Bangladesh post sad reactions. I'm sorry if that sounds insensitive, if you've witnessed it you'll know it's completely true. 0/10

Qi Xin | Xi Jinping's mother, reported to have died from covid but still going apparently. 4/10

 

SUBS: left off because they're all healthy 30-somethings.

Ciara | Some art director named Jackie Murphy died and some really stupid people on Facebook thought Ciara (young, well-known pop star) died because her name was mentioned in a tweet about Murphy. 0/10

Josh Seiter | Bachelorette contestant with mental health problems. A post about his death went up on his own Instagram. I would've believed this one. 9/10

Charley Uchea | Someone pretending to be her cousin posted that she had passed away. It wasn't officially denied for a week. Did she not bother because she thought it was obvious it was fake? Because it wasn't. 8/10


 

When I put together this team in Autumn, the working title was Sophie Anderson Is Not Dead but Alive With Soul. Then, in the coincidence of the century, she FUCKING DIED 3 MONTHS AFTER HER DEATH HOAX EXACTLY LIKE DAVID GEST.

 

The iconic "David's Dead" video, for reference:

 

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Excellent work young @Clorox Bleachman

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What a brilliant idea of a team. 

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30 minutes ago, Clorox Bleachman said:

I'm proud to present my theme (and only) team, Lil Tay Is Not Dead but Alive With Soul. It's named after David Gest's aged-like-milk tour. All these names were incorrectly or maliciously pronounced dead within the last 18 months. This is my favourite theme team I've done, if only for the sheer absurdity you're about to read.


 

Name | backstory | how convincing was the hoax?

 

Linda Nolan [JOKER] | Some boomer heard Linda Lewis was dead and sent condolences to the Nolan family. 2/10

Purple Aki | Twitter users reported he was found dead in his flat in Leeds. All rumours about this man are true until proven false. 8/10

Jimmy Carter | Announced in November 2022 by an account called CarterCenterUS, run by he-who-shall-not-be-named. Proud to say I helped stop the spread of misinformation. 6/10

Raul Castro | This one came about just before I submitted my team and was quickly shut down. 4/10

Simon Cowell (TV guy with uncanny face) | People edited photos to make it look like he was seriously ill or dead and Sinitta fell for it LOL. 1/10

Yael Dayan | Locally reported to have died from COPD. Commented herself that she was fine. Still dying from COPD, I presume??? 5/10

Cardinal Alexandre do Nascimento | 2 separate hoaxes last Spring. Who has the time or interest? 7/10

Mary Marquis | Scottish Twitter figures who looked up to her thought she was dead. 9/10

Zubin Mehta | Cancelled shows in Berlin and then 'died'. Convenient timing. He wasn't even in Europe. 4/10

David Neilson | This weird memorial website posted an obituary, but it made it t' forum. 3/10

Ozzy Osbourne | He found a picture of himself in a YouTube memorial, but didn't do a Marcus Garvey. 0/10

Vladimir Putin | When is he not being falsely killed off? 2/10

Thomas Robb | Wikipedia vandalism. Fingers crossed though. 3/10

Linda Robson | The Loose Women cast were being killed off at an alarming rate by Twitter users. She posted a response video where she pretended to be undead, pretty good sport. 1/10

Amartya Sen | Reported by Deccan Herald and Times of India, thanks to a hoax account and despite his daughter denying it. 6/10

Try Sutrisno | Multiple hoaxes circulated on "messaging applications". Meh. 4/10

Loretta Swit | Again, some people on Twitter were sad to hear from somewhere that she died. As a bonus, she got some automated tribute videos (not that kind, get your mind out the gutter). 5/10

Denise Welch | Wild combination of Twitter fantasy-writing and Wikipedia vandalism. "The Gay, Horny Pink from the African tribe of Welch's" suffered heartburn from watching Hollyoaks, was struck down by lightning from the 5G tower masts, then had a bout of explosive diarrhoea at her personal toilet, then was run over by Kerry Riches' mobility scooter after it was hijacked on a drunken rampage by Farida Khalifa, hair and makeup artist for the traveller gypsy community. Her name was changed to Theynise Squelch, Jesus, "I need a man", Loreen, P!nk, Blackpink, Holly Jervis, and Honest Vocal Coach; her picture was changed to June Whitfield's by a user named Dula Peep. 0/10 but funny

Bruce Willis | Those lame Facebook posts that put 2 dates on a picture with excessive HDR and mums and dads in Nigeria and Bangladesh post sad reactions. I'm sorry if that sounds insensitive, if you've witnessed it you'll know it's completely true. 0/10

Qi Xin | Xi Jinping's mother, reported to have died from covid but still going apparently. 4/10

 

SUBS: left off because they're all healthy 30-somethings.

Ciara | Some art director named Jackie Murphy died and some really stupid people on Facebook thought Ciara (young, well-known pop star) died because her name was mentioned in a tweet about Murphy. 0/10

Josh Seiter | Bachelorette contestant with mental health problems. A post about his death went up on his own Instagram. I would've believed this one. 9/10

Charley Uchea | Someone pretending to be her cousin posted that she had passed away. It wasn't officially denied for a week. Did she not bother because she thought it was obvious it was fake? Because it wasn't. 8/10


 

When I put together this team in Autumn, the working title was Sophie Anderson Is Not Dead but Alive With Soul. Then, in the coincidence of the century, she FUCKING DIED 3 MONTHS AFTER HER DEATH HOAX EXACTLY LIKE DAVID GEST.

 

The iconic "David's Dead" video, for reference:

 

Fun team.  I will be annoyed if Purple Aki dies this year as I left him off my Scouse/Merseysider team.

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