Talk Like A Scotsman/St Andrews Day/Burns nicht

[Monoclinic 39]

Do you eat the Haggis McNuggets with or without ketchup?

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

Do you eat the Haggis McNuggets with or without ketchup?

 

As long as they're deep fried, I put salad cream on mine.

[VSBfromH 74]

Happy Burns Night to those predisposed to celebrate that sort of thing.

 

 

... and not forgetting

[Lady Grendel 139]

Do you eat the Haggis McNuggets with or without ketchup?

 

As long as they're deep fried, I put salad cream on mine.

 

Mmmmm, deep fried haggis, had that a couple of weeks ago in a pub, coated in a beer batter and served with a peppercorn and whisky sauce, better than salad cream HCW .

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

Do you eat the Haggis McNuggets with or without ketchup?

 

As long as they're deep fried, I put salad cream on mine.

 

Mmmmm, deep fried haggis, had that a couple of weeks ago in a pub, coated in a beer batter and served with a peppercorn and whisky sauce, better than salad cream HCW .

 

Drool! Sounds amazing.

[Spade_Cooley 9,536]

Happy Burns Night to those predisposed to celebrate that sort of thing.

 

 

... and not forgetting

 

And lest we forget

 

[Death Watch Beatle 41]

Whenever asked the date of Burns night (which isn't very often) I always reply with November 5th. Some people get it - most don't.

 

DWB

[Lady Grendel 139]

As I never made it on to post on last week's 'Talk Like A Scotsman Day', I'll do it now. In light of today's events in Scotland, here's the appeal that is being launched to help the Scots:

 

In readiness for tomorrow morning: URGENT – HURRICANE BAWBAG APPEAL

 

On December 8th 2011, a hurricane of biblical strength blasted across Scotland.

Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering: "Ah wiz pure shittin' masel big man so a wiz, ah need some jellies".

The hurricane decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Untold disruption and distress was caused:

 

* Many were woken well before their giro arrived.

* Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged.

* Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed.

* The cone fell off the head of the statue outside Glasgow’s Modern Art Gallery.

* Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Scotland.

* One resident, Pocahontis McGlinchy, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "Ah wiz like ‘Whit’s that? Ah,canny hear ma choonz innat man’ Wee Beyonce came running into my bedroom pure howlin so she wiz. My youngest two, Brooklyn an Blackpool slept through it. I was still pure rattlin when I was watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning."

* Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal.

* The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Buckfast to the area to help the stricken masses.

* Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos.

 

HOW YOU CAN HELP

Clothing is most sought after. Items required include:

- Sovvy rings

- Baseball caps

- Shell suits

- Tesco two stripe trainers

- White socks

- Chunky gold chains

 

Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the same. Required foodstuffs include:

- Mutton Pies and Buckfast

- Hauf Pizza Suppers and Buckfast

- Mars Bars and Buckfast

- Kebabs and Buckfast

- Haggis Suppers and Buckfast

- Fray Bentos Pies and Buckfast

 

* £2 buys chips, scraps and ginger for a family of four.

* £10 can take a family to Coatbridge for the day, where children can sniff glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging nettles.

* 22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim

[RIP Wee Jum 1,559]

As I never made it on to post on last week's 'Talk Like A Scotsman Day', I'll do it now. In light of today's events in Scotland, here's the appeal that is being launched to help the Scots:

 

In readiness for tomorrow morning: URGENT – HURRICANE BAWBAG APPEAL

 

On December 8th 2011, a hurricane of biblical strength blasted across Scotland.

Victims can be seen wandering aimlessly muttering: "Ah wiz pure shittin' masel big man so a wiz, ah need some jellies".

The hurricane decimated the area, causing approximately £30 worth of damage. Untold disruption and distress was caused:

 

* Many were woken well before their giro arrived.

* Several priceless collections of mementos from the Balearics and Spanish costas were damaged.

* Three areas of historic and scientifically significant litter were disturbed.

* The cone fell off the head of the statue outside Glasgow’s Modern Art Gallery.

* Thousands are confused and bewildered, trying to come to terms with the fact that something interesting has happened in Scotland.

* One resident, Pocahontis McGlinchy, a 17 year old mother-of-three said "Ah wiz like ‘Whit’s that? Ah,canny hear ma choonz innat man’ Wee Beyonce came running into my bedroom pure howlin so she wiz. My youngest two, Brooklyn an Blackpool slept through it. I was still pure rattlin when I was watching Jeremy Kyle the next morning."

* Apparently though, looting did carry on as normal.

* The British Red Cross have so far managed to ship 4000 crates of Buckfast to the area to help the stricken masses.

* Rescue workers are still searching through the rubble and have found large quantities of personal belongings including benefit books and jewellery from Elizabeth Duke at Argos.

 

HOW YOU CAN HELP

Clothing is most sought after. Items required include:

- Sovvy rings

- Baseball caps

- Shell suits

- Tesco two stripe trainers

- White socks

- Chunky gold chains

 

Food parcels may be harder to put together but are necessary all the same. Required foodstuffs include:

- Mutton Pies and Buckfast

- Hauf Pizza Suppers and Buckfast

- Mars Bars and Buckfast

- Kebabs and Buckfast

- Haggis Suppers and Buckfast

- Fray Bentos Pies and Buckfast

 

* £2 buys chips, scraps and ginger for a family of four.

* £10 can take a family to Coatbridge for the day, where children can sniff glue and spike up among the national collection of stinging nettles.

* 22p buys a biro for filling in a spurious compensation claim

 

That's for the Weegies. What about us on the Eastcoast ?.

 

People on my Facebook from Glasgow saying they have been sent home from work ?

1) They are probably lying about having a home.

2) They are probably lying about having a job

 

And before anybody gets all annoyed at my post

 

I AM ONLY KIDDING

[Magere Hein 1,400]

As I never made it on to post on last week's 'Talk Like A Scotsman Day', I'll do it now. In light of today's events in Scotland, here's the appeal that is being launched to help the Scots:

 

In readyness for tomorrow morning: URGENT – HURRICANE BAWBAG APPEAL

[Appeal snipped]

 

Ach, it's horrible.

Edit to add:

 

On a BBC News page, there's a clip of the abandonment of a Hibernians' training session. Here's a still:

 

 

Fenton!

 

 

regards,

Hein

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

Hurricane Bawbag............ Oh ma god!!

 

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

In Scotland they don't call it methadone. It's "I canny believe it's no heroin"

[sympathyforthedevil 11]

Who thought of the name "Bawbag" for the hurricane anyway?

[Lady Grendel 139]

Who thought of the name "Bawbag" for the hurricane anyway?

 

No idea, I first heard it about 11 a.m. this morning on a friend's FB page, not long after I'd nearly been blown into the path of an oncoming car while out trying to get the essential shopping (fags) in before it hit. Then STV's site went online with this http://entertainment...-top-reactions/ . I've spent the rest of the day explaining to my American friends what a 'Bawbag' is and I do so hope some American TV Channel really does report it as Hurricane Bawbag.

 

Apologies for not getting the link to tie in with words,but I've forgotten how and can't find Hein's post on how to do it :-(

[Windsor 2,233]

I think my north-east corner is now experiencing what LG had earlier.

 

To give you the short version - the dog won't be going out for a walk tonight...

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Hurricane Bawbag update

 

A cold front at the south-east side of orkaan Balzak now hits my place. Lots of wind and it's pouring down.

 

regards,

Hein

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

Had a traditional Castlemilk Burns supper. Spicy chicken, chips and beans. It was no bard.

 

 

Haggis is only in season between 30th November and 25th January - they hibernate after Burns night until St Andrews day.

[VSBfromH 74]

^{This seems as good a thread as any to post that Billy Hogg, the last native speaker of the Cromarty dialect, hath died aged 92.}

[time 8,617]

Happy Burns Night to our Scottish readers, and those using it as an excuse for sampling their finest malt. (I have a bottle of 12yo Glen Moray).

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

Happy Burns Night to our Scottish readers, and those using it as an excuse for sampling their finest malt. (I have a bottle of 12yo Glen Moray).

And a very nice malt it is too. I had a (few) nice 12 year old Glenfiddich last night.

[Spade_Cooley 9,536]

Happy first Burns Night after you bottled your independence, guys.

[charon 4,943]

 

A ferming masonic prod from Ayrshire ? A No voter ffs Spade.

 

Why do you think we celebrate his death?

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Why do you think we celebrate his death?

Let me guess: as an excuse to get pissed?

 

regards,

Hein

[Cat O'Falk 3,290]

Leave Charon alone; he's about to be probed and who wouldn't want to get pissed?

[YoungWillz 21,057]

Happy St Andrew's Day everybody!