Room 101

[Terminator 13]

There's an overwheming majority hovering below "average intelligence" without the nanny state meddling in their "bedroom shenanigans".

Ehrm, it seems to me there's something iffy about the mathematics of the two parts of that statement.

 

regards,

Hein

 

Oh dear...... now I've re-read my comments, I am suitably ashamed.

[CarolAnn 926]

I feel like a pharmacist for cocker spaniels.

 

Not only do I have one with an eye infection, two on joint supplements, one on urinary acidifiers and one on glaucoma meds, I now have a cocker spaniel with a penile infection.

 

How did that happen?

 

I have a 14 year old cocker spaniel who has a touch of dementia - OK, more than a touch, more like a sledgehammer of dementia. Anyway, he has become romantically involved with a teddy bear, which is just terrific since he's neutered (the dog, not the teddy bear).

 

This is a new twist on the phrase "overuse injury." He goes after that poor bear at least six times a day. He's like a little old man with Alzheimer's sitting in the nursing home compulsively masturbating. The end result is the same - infection.

 

So, I'm off to put antibiotic ointment on my cocker spaniel's cock.

 

There has to be a best seller in this cocker rescue thing somewhere. *sigh*

[Terminator 13]

I feel like a pharmacist for cocker spaniels.

 

Not only do I have one with an eye infection, two on joint supplements, one on urinary acidifiers and one on glaucoma meds, I now have a cocker spaniel with a penile infection.

 

How did that happen?

 

I have a 14 year old cocker spaniel who has a touch of dementia - OK, more than a touch, more like a sledgehammer of dementia. Anyway, he has become romantically involved with a teddy bear, which is just terrific since he's neutered (the dog, not the teddy bear).

 

This is a new twist on the phrase "overuse injury." He goes after that poor bear at least six times a day. He's like a little old man with Alzheimer's sitting in the nursing home compulsively masturbating. The end result is the same - infection.

 

So, I'm off to put antibiotic ointment on my cocker spaniel's cock.

 

There has to be a best seller in this cocker rescue thing somewhere. *sigh*

Couldn't you just hire a shotgun???

[Paul Bearer 6,101]

So, I'm off to put antibiotic ointment on my cocker spaniel's cock.

 

Doggie porn?

[CarolAnn 926]

So, I'm off to put antibiotic ointment on my cocker spaniel's cock.

 

Doggie porn?

 

It would be, except he doesn't like it, so I'm freaking chasing him through the house promising him a treat if he'll just stop and let me lube him. When he gives out (he is 14, after all, which is like 80 freaking years old in human age-space-time) I grab him, turn him over, and he bites me.

 

FML.

[deadsox 894]

I feel like a pharmacist for cocker spaniels.

 

Not only do I have one with an eye infection, two on joint supplements, one on urinary acidifiers and one on glaucoma meds, I now have a cocker spaniel with a penile infection.

 

How did that happen?

 

I have a 14 year old cocker spaniel who has a touch of dementia - OK, more than a touch, more like a sledgehammer of dementia. Anyway, he has become romantically involved with a teddy bear, which is just terrific since he's neutered (the dog, not the teddy bear).

 

This is a new twist on the phrase "overuse injury." He goes after that poor bear at least six times a day. He's like a little old man with Alzheimer's sitting in the nursing home compulsively masturbating. The end result is the same - infection.

 

So, I'm off to put antibiotic ointment on my cocker spaniel's cock.

 

There has to be a best seller in this cocker rescue thing somewhere. *sigh*

 

If afraid that if I had a dog and he needed me to do that to save his life, he'd be a goner.

[Terminator 13]

If afraid that if I had a dog and he needed me to do that to save his life, he'd be a goner.

 

I refer the honourable gentleman to my (yesterday's) posting in this forum.

[Madcow 6]

I have just been rogered up the rear by The Royal Mail!

 

I made a small purchase from th USA costing me £23 upon which I fully expected to pay a couple of quid tax at this end. Today had to pay the Somali Pirates that run the Post Office £11 to redeem my package. £8 of this was the Post Office charge for performing a service that I didn't ask for.

I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or bend over and ask for another.

 

Do you think I could borrow the spaniel's antibiotic cream for my sore botty??

[Windsor 2,233]

I have just been rogered up the rear by The Royal Mail!

 

I made a small purchase from th USA costing me £23 upon which I fully expected to pay a couple of quid tax at this end. Today had to pay the Somali Pirates that run the Post Office £11 to redeem my package. £8 of this was the Post Office charge for performing a service that I didn't ask for.

I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or bend over and ask for another.

 

Do you think I could borrow the spaniel's antibiotic cream for my sore botty??

 

What was the extra charge for?

If your package was delayed by the strike action, I would have paid the tax and refused to pay the postage as compensation for the delay. Then again, I am a complete w*nker.

[Madcow 6]

I have just been rogered up the rear by The Royal Mail!

 

I made a small purchase from th USA costing me £23 upon which I fully expected to pay a couple of quid tax at this end. Today had to pay the Somali Pirates that run the Post Office £11 to redeem my package. £8 of this was the Post Office charge for performing a service that I didn't ask for.

I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or bend over and ask for another.

 

Do you think I could borrow the spaniel's antibiotic cream for my sore botty??

 

What was the extra charge for?

If your package was delayed by the strike action, I would have paid the tax and refused to pay the postage as compensation for the delay. Then again, I am a complete w*nker.

They call it 'Royal Mail Internationnal Handling Charge' I suspect they class it as a payment for being tax collectors for HMR&C. All the same it's a bloody cheek, especially as I had a parcel from China that took less than three days (not two weeks) via DHL and had no extra charges at this end.

For future purchases, I shall check delivery charges via courier and, if it costs less than £8 on top of USPS, I'll use them instead.

[CarolAnn 926]

I have just been rogered up the rear by The Royal Mail!

 

I made a small purchase from th USA costing me £23 upon which I fully expected to pay a couple of quid tax at this end. Today had to pay the Somali Pirates that run the Post Office £11 to redeem my package. £8 of this was the Post Office charge for performing a service that I didn't ask for.

I didn't know whether to laugh, cry or bend over and ask for another.

 

Do you think I could borrow the spaniel's antibiotic cream for my sore botty??

 

 

I need to keep what's left because I just realized it's the same stuff I use on my other dog for his hyperkeratosis of the nose when it cracks and gets infected.

 

I love when one dog's "idiosyncrasies" pay for another dog's icky nose.

 

Don't you all wish you lived in my house?

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Dunno. Is shagging toys compulsory?

 

regards,

Hein

[Star Crossed 33]

... he has become romantically involved with a teddy bear ...

Dunno. Is shagging toys compulsory?

regards,

Hein

I'd like to put thoughts of who's shagging which toys at CA's place into Room 101.

 

Also, people who "trick or treat" on the 30th October. What possible excuse could they have? Good job I had all the lights out. But still...

[Lady Grendel 139]

At the risk of sounding like Windsor, people that have the flu and sit behind you on buses sneezing all over you, this happened to me on Wednesday morning. Didn't help that the bus broke down and we had to wait over 40 minutes for a replacement bus to arrive, gave the bastard plenty of time to make sure he infected me, then, to add insult to injury, I escaped onto the replacement bus and he sat beside me . Needless to say I've been floored with the flu since late yesterday afternoon, looking forward to a great weekend of hot toddies and boxes of tissues. I had to cancel a trip to Edinburgh I had planned for today too .

[CarolAnn 926]

Dunno. Is shagging toys compulsory?

 

regards,

Hein

 

No, but shagging with toys is.....never mind.

[Monoclinic 39]

Sunday evenings that arrive to soon when you had a myriad of things to do but managed to achieve fuck all or thereabouts.

[Handrejka 1,903]

Sunday evenings that arrive to soon when you had a myriad of things to do but managed to achieve fuck all or thereabouts.

 

I can relate to that

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Windsor must be a picture of health

 

[Windsor 2,233]

Windsor must be a picture of health

 

 

If that article holds any truth, you would certainly expect me to be.

In reality, most people think I'm aged between 30-35.

 

I'm bloody 22.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Windsor must be a picture of health

 

 

If that article holds any truth, you would certainly expect me to be.

In reality, most people think I'm aged between 30-35.

 

I'm bloody 22.

 

I feel your pain Winds old bean - when I went to buy my wedding dress aged 23, I was accompanied by my 28 year old sister and my 44 year old mother. The woman in the shop thought we were all sisters, and thought I was the eldest. Bitch.

[Windsor 2,233]

I keep getting emails from Chairman Nick Griffin of the BNP.

How the hell did I get on their email listings?

 

Luckily my email account automatically set them to my junk mail folder.

[honez 79]

when I went to buy my wedding dress aged 23, I was accompanied by my 28 year old sister and my 44 year old mother. The woman in the shop thought we were all sisters, and thought I was the eldest. Bitch.

I think you meant "when I went to buy my wedding dress... and thought I was the eldest bitch."

You seem to be having a problem with your periods, missus. No wonder she thought you were a bitch.

Boom tsch. I thank you.

[Guest Manuel]

when I went to buy my wedding dress aged 23, I was accompanied by my 28 year old sister and my 44 year old mother. The woman in the shop thought we were all sisters, and thought I was the eldest. Bitch.

I think you meant "when I went to buy my wedding dress... and thought I was the eldest bitch."

You seem to be having a problem with your periods, missus. No wonder she thought you were a bitch.

Boom tsch. I thank you.

I'm struggling with this one.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

when I went to buy my wedding dress aged 23, I was accompanied by my 28 year old sister and my 44 year old mother. The woman in the shop thought we were all sisters, and thought I was the eldest. Bitch.

I think you meant "when I went to buy my wedding dress... and thought I was the eldest bitch."

You seem to be having a problem with your periods, missus. No wonder she thought you were a bitch.

Boom tsch. I thank you.

I'm struggling with this one.

 

I think it's to do with periods (full stops) being a play on periods (monthly nuisances) making one a bitch.

[Monoclinic 39]

Handballs.

Councils who decide it is acceptable to take a cherry picker, raise it up a couple of floors and start drilling 10 cm or so from your window, without warning, at half past midnight.

Handballs.

Experiments that start out promising then go a bit wrong.

Handballs.

Correcting someone elses work, again, for little merit.

Handballs.

Sarkozy giving an interview on TF1 after his cheese eating cheating surrender monkeys win through the va va voom of Thierry main de Dieu Maradona Henry.