Room 101

[time 8,598]

The expression 'for free' instead of 'for nothing' or 'free of charge'.

[Windsor 2,233]

http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-scotland-scotland-politics-15817172

 

Fat, smelly, neck-less, slug-like, 10 chin, new money bastards!

The fat man will certainly be going on my shadow list next year.

[Godot 149]

Doing lunch.

 

If you want to eat, eat. If you want to talk, talk. There's no need to eat and talk and then stop talking after pudding just because you've finished eating. Why not stop talking when you've said what there is to say and stop eating when you're full? What have they got to do with each other? Give me a Ginster's. That's lunch (or dinner where I come from). All the rest is bollocks.

 

Oh yes, and now there's: "let's meet for a coffee", the cheapskate alternative to doing lunch.

 

And worst of all there's: "Let's do breakfast?" You can fuck right off to that idea. I have breakfast when I get up and that's a bit of cereal and some milk and the last thing I want to do then is speak to anyone.

 

While I'm at it, I'm not keen on supper either. What is this southern thing called supper? I once got invited round to somebody's house for supper, imagining it would be cheese and biscuits or a bun. But it was a full-blown four-course meal with wine and the works. Trouble was, I'd had me' tea before going. Still I had all the other stuff too, no point wasting it. But why couldn't they call it dinner? I'm not so unschooled on southern ways that I don't understand that dinner is tea, only a bit later and sometimes with a starter and pud. But I always considered supper a last-thing-at-night snack like a glass of milk and some Rich Tea biscuits. I suppose you could get a fish supper at the chippy but that was quite specific and it's pronounced supper as in Tupperware not "seppa" as in leper which is how it's pronounced in this godawful nightmare of an existence inside the M25.

[time 8,598]

Doing lunch.

 

If you want to eat, eat. If you want to talk, talk. There's no need to eat and talk and then stop talking after pudding just because you've finished eating. Why not stop talking when you've said what there is to say and stop eating when you're full? What have they got to do with each other? Give me a Ginster's. That's lunch (or dinner where I come from). All the rest is bollocks.

 

Oh yes, and now there's: "let's meet for a coffee", the cheapskate alternative to doing lunch.

 

And worst of all there's: "Let's do breakfast?" You can fuck right off to that idea. I have breakfast when I get up and that's a bit of cereal and some milk and the last thing I want to do then is speak to anyone.

 

While I'm at it, I'm not keen on supper either. What is this southern thing called supper? I once got invited round to somebody's house for supper, imagining it would be cheese and biscuits or a bun. But it was a full-blown four-course meal with wine and the works. Trouble was, I'd had me' tea before going. Still I had all the other stuff too, no point wasting it. But why couldn't they call it dinner? I'm not so unschooled on southern ways that I don't understand that dinner is tea, only a bit later and sometimes with a starter and pud. But I always considered supper a last-thing-at-night snack like a glass of milk and some Rich Tea biscuits. I suppose you could get a fish supper at the chippy but that was quite specific and it's pronounced supper as in Tupperware not "seppa" as in leper which is how it's pronounced in this godawful nightmare of an existence inside the M25.

I can imagine your confusion should any young lady invite in 'for coffee'!

[Toast 16,136]

Speaking of coffee, I have recently been most confused.

 

While searching on the internet for recipes for coffee cake, I find many, many recipes - none of which include coffee (in any shape or form) among the ingredients. Apparently, in America, if one happens to enjoy a slice of cake along with a cup of coffee, said cake is described as "coffee cake". How bloody ridiculous. I mean, I might have a bit of cake with a mug of hot chocolate, it doesn't automatically make the cake a fucking chocolate cake, now does it? It could be fruit cake, or Battenburg cake, or anything really.

 

 

Anyway, the upshot is that this ludicrous American usage has made it impossible to find recipes for proper coffee cake WITH COFFEE IN IT. Tossers.

[Godot 149]

Doing lunch.

 

If you want to eat, eat. If you want to talk, talk. There's no need to eat and talk and then stop talking after pudding just because you've finished eating. Why not stop talking when you've said what there is to say and stop eating when you're full? What have they got to do with each other? Give me a Ginster's. That's lunch (or dinner where I come from). All the rest is bollocks.

 

Oh yes, and now there's: "let's meet for a coffee", the cheapskate alternative to doing lunch.

 

And worst of all there's: "Let's do breakfast?" You can fuck right off to that idea. I have breakfast when I get up and that's a bit of cereal and some milk and the last thing I want to do then is speak to anyone.

 

While I'm at it, I'm not keen on supper either. What is this southern thing called supper? I once got invited round to somebody's house for supper, imagining it would be cheese and biscuits or a bun. But it was a full-blown four-course meal with wine and the works. Trouble was, I'd had me' tea before going. Still I had all the other stuff too, no point wasting it. But why couldn't they call it dinner? I'm not so unschooled on southern ways that I don't understand that dinner is tea, only a bit later and sometimes with a starter and pud. But I always considered supper a last-thing-at-night snack like a glass of milk and some Rich Tea biscuits. I suppose you could get a fish supper at the chippy but that was quite specific and it's pronounced supper as in Tupperware not "seppa" as in leper which is how it's pronounced in this godawful nightmare of an existence inside the M25.

I can imagine your confusion should any young lady invite in 'for coffee'!

 

Yeah, stick euphemisms in here as well. People should spell stuff out. I was thinking more on the lines of the business chat over coffee. Difficult to interpret a mid-morning meeting in the Institute of Directors as an opportunity for sex. On the other hand, maybe I've been missing out all these years.

[CarolAnn 926]

Speaking of coffee, I have recently been most confused.

 

While searching on the internet for recipes for coffee cake, I find many, many recipes - none of which include coffee (in any shape or form) among the ingredients. Apparently, in America, if one happens to enjoy a slice of cake along with a cup of coffee, said cake is described as "coffee cake". How bloody ridiculous. I mean, I might have a bit of cake with a mug of hot chocolate, it doesn't automatically make the cake a fucking chocolate cake, now does it? It could be fruit cake, or Battenburg cake, or anything really.

 

 

Anyway, the upshot is that this ludicrous American usage has made it impossible to find recipes for proper coffee cake WITH COFFEE IN IT. Tossers.

 

Oh good gawd.

 

http://www.bbcgoodfo...amy-coffee-cake

 

http://allrecipes.co...ake/detail.aspx

 

http://allrecipes.co...rte/detail.aspx

 

http://allrecipes.co...ake/detail.aspx

 

http://allrecipes.co...lly/detail.aspx

 

http://allrecipes.co...e-i/detail.aspx

 

http://allrecipes.co...ake/detail.aspx

 

http://allrecipes.co...iii/detail.aspx

 

http://allrecipes.co...ake/detail.aspx

 

http://allrecipes.co...res/detail.aspx

 

Let this tosser know if you need more. For a fee I can teach you how to search on the internet.

[Toast 16,136]

I was looking for something specific, but I've invented my own now, and very good it was too.

 

The point being, why the hell would anyone call a cake after an ingredient that it does not contain?

[time 8,598]

I was looking for something specific, but I've invented my own now, and very good it was too.

 

The point being, why the hell would anyone call a cake after an ingredient that it does not contain?

 

There's no tea in tea cakes either

[Magere Hein 1,400]

I was looking for something specific, but I've invented my own now, and very good it was too.

 

The point being, why the hell would anyone call a cake after an ingredient that it does not contain?

 

There's no tea in tea cakes either

 

There is space in space cake, though.

 

 

regards,

Hein

[Tuber Mirum 125]

Well rock cake doesn't contain rocks in very much the same way that Battenberg cake doesn't contain Prince Phillip.

[Madame Defarge 21]

A New York Egg Cream doesn't have an egg in it. In fact it doesn't have cream either. The ingredients are chocolate syrup, seltzer and milk.

 

http://whatscookingamerica.net/History/NYEggCreamHistory.htm

[sympathyforthedevil 11]

Yorkshire pudding doesn't have Yorkshire in it...

[Godot 149]

Yorkshire pudding doesn't have Yorkshire in it...

 

Oh I think it does.

[Madame Defarge 21]

Yorkshire pudding doesn't have Yorkshire in it...

 

Oh I think it does.

 

Under certain circumstances, I think it might.

 

If it were prepared in Yorkshire by a Yorkshireman there would be traces of Yorkshire DNA and other local molecules.

[Godot 149]

Yorkshire pudding doesn't have Yorkshire in it...

 

Oh I think it does.

 

Under certain circumstances, I think it might.

 

If it were prepared in Yorkshire by a Yorkshireman there would be traces of Yorkshire DNA and other local molecules.

 

Or even a Yorkshirewoman, particularly if she had the sniffles....or a grudge against society.

[Six 23]

People in Facebookland who mindlessly jump on bandwagons and then post such crap as this...

 

According to our british government we can't say Merry Christmas now we have to say Happy Holidays. We can't call it a Christmas tree, it's now called a Holiday tree? Because it might offend those who are not… originally from the UK. If you don't like our "Customs" and it offends you so much then LEAVE OUR COUNTRY I will help you pack. They are called customs and we have our traditions and our opinions If you... agree with this...please resend this, I bet some of you are too scared to!! "I AM A PROUD BRITISH CITIZEN...MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE"

 

 

There are so many things wrong with this, I simply don't know where to start.

 

I should probably start by editing my 'Friend' list.

[Paul Bearer 6,101]

I should probably start by editing my 'Friend' list.

 

Ooooo! Keep me, keep me.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Teenagers. Specifically teenage girls that think it's cool to get themselves tubbed up by an equally twattish teenage boy (now in prison), think it's cool that their mum is a nutjob addicted to speed, and thinks it's fine that my fucking taxes keep them in weed. I'm nearly 40 years old, two kids, have worked pretty much all my adult life, half the time brought the kids up on my own, have managed to keep a job, pay for a house, and give them a good life mostly without going mental - but of course, I know absolutely fuck all about life, do I?

 

*Just in case you're wondering, this is not about either of my teenage girls, thank fuck - if it was I'd be posting from Parkhurst.

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Teenagers.

 

I remember being one.

 

I did quite a few things then that I'm not proud of, but I don't remember being such a twat. There is of course the possibility that I was such a twat and didn't notice.

 

My parents and their friends and relatives complained bitterly about teenagers' behaviour, pretty much as we do now. If I remember my Cato correctly, it's was no different in his times. I imagine our grunting ancestors invented speech specifically for reproaching youths. "Drunken Squirrel, stop fooling around with that stick before you poke someone's eye out."

 

regards,

Hein

[Guest David]

Ken Russell - small - time porn movie director. Yes, I know he's just died, but the things he said about the Carry On Movies were unforgiveable. Documentary show Carry On Darkly also goes in Room 101. Venom, poison and discredit from start to finish.

[Godot 149]

Ken Russell - small - time porn movie director. Yes, I know he's just died, but the things he said about the Carry On Movies were unforgiveable. Documentary show Carry On Darkly also goes in Room 101. Venom, poison and discredit from start to finish.

 

I don't know what he said about the Carry On films but to stick him in Room 101 is a travesty. He made some fine films, well at least one, and one or two dodgy ones. To call him a porn movie director is a nonsense, quite apart from referring to movies. Ken Russell made films.

[Guest David]

He said the Carry On movies weren't funny and that we shouldn't enjoy them. I've only ever seen two of his films - and one featured nude wrestling.

[Phantom 2,533]

Parents who invest in an expensive portable game console to keep their kid occupied during shopping trips / car dealership / doctors waiting room and don't bother to invest in a pair of headphones.

[sympathyforthedevil 11]

quite apart from referring to movies. Ken Russell made films.

 

oh ffs. Either word is acceptable Mr Pedantic.