Room 101

[Toast 16,231]

I joined a family history site with the same calibre of posters. They get upset so easily. I once helped someone find what happened to one of their great great great etc grandmothers. The old woman committed suicide. I posted that...I got a telling off and my post was removed because the poster may have found it 'distressing'.

If you are critical of them, they almost have a nervous breakdown! Any 'controversial' threads which lead to differing (usually political) opinions are locked. If you question the moderator's judgement, you get PM'd by someone higher up the chain to be told 'be nicer to the mods because they have been kind enough to volunteer their time'. It really is terrible. So far I have managed not to get banned, but I don't post much there any more.

 

Which one's that then, Windsor? They're all pretty irritating in my experience.

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Which one's that then, Windsor? They're all pretty irritating in my experience.

 

Troll Raid?

 

regards,

Hein

[Lady Grendel 139]

Photographs of sunrises and sunsets. Out of boredom I joined one of these online photographic sites where everyone is nice to everyone else. One woman posts the same sunrise scene every fucking day, I kid you not, and it seems to get other posters creaming their jeans. I post a flower or an interesting rock or something and no fucker notices. At least I can come here and sound off or exchange insults. I mean some people post really shit pictures and people are putting up comments like "gorgeous" and "magnificent". No-one can bring themselves to say the obvious. It's as if you pass through a shit-to-nice converter when you enter the portal. Even I find myself making pleasant comments on stuff like an out-of-focus pepper pot that some misguided disillusioned twat believes is a work of art. All I can say of the experience so far is that it disproves the infinite monkey theorem. There ain't no David Baileys in that place.

 

Don't look at my photographs on Facebook anytime soon Godot .

[Godot 149]

Photographs of sunrises and sunsets. Out of boredom I joined one of these online photographic sites where everyone is nice to everyone else. One woman posts the same sunrise scene every fucking day, I kid you not, and it seems to get other posters creaming their jeans. I post a flower or an interesting rock or something and no fucker notices. At least I can come here and sound off or exchange insults. I mean some people post really shit pictures and people are putting up comments like "gorgeous" and "magnificent". No-one can bring themselves to say the obvious. It's as if you pass through a shit-to-nice converter when you enter the portal. Even I find myself making pleasant comments on stuff like an out-of-focus pepper pot that some misguided disillusioned twat believes is a work of art. All I can say of the experience so far is that it disproves the infinite monkey theorem. There ain't no David Baileys in that place.

 

Don't look at my photographs on Facebook anytime soon Godot .

 

But you're not posting them every bloody day.

[Lady Grendel 139]

Photographs of sunrises and sunsets. Out of boredom I joined one of these online photographic sites where everyone is nice to everyone else. One woman posts the same sunrise scene every fucking day, I kid you not, and it seems to get other posters creaming their jeans. I post a flower or an interesting rock or something and no fucker notices. At least I can come here and sound off or exchange insults. I mean some people post really shit pictures and people are putting up comments like "gorgeous" and "magnificent". No-one can bring themselves to say the obvious. It's as if you pass through a shit-to-nice converter when you enter the portal. Even I find myself making pleasant comments on stuff like an out-of-focus pepper pot that some misguided disillusioned twat believes is a work of art. All I can say of the experience so far is that it disproves the infinite monkey theorem. There ain't no David Baileys in that place.

 

Don't look at my photographs on Facebook anytime soon Godot .

 

But you're not posting them every bloody day.

 

True, I would have had some reverse ones tonight with the moon, but my camera just isn't up to getting a clear nighttime shot. Shame really as the moon was full and lighting up all the clouds around it in a very surreal way, I don't think I have ever seen a moon like this. No sign of the Aurora Borealis either and I would love to see that.

[Banshees Scream 110]

Resumes, lies and uncertainties. The aftermath of being hired and not knowing the details of concern. Skepticism and the mysterious allure of innovation. Promises of grandeur which are amusing, vague. Traveling to a place with an atmosphere that is not very intriguing and standing in an elevator with someone bizarre. Anticipation.

[Godot 149]

Resumes, lies and uncertainties. The aftermath of being hired and not knowing the details of concern. Skepticism and the mysterious allure of innovation. Promises of grandeur which are amusing, vague. Traveling to a place with an atmosphere that is not very intriguing and standing in an elevator with someone bizarre. Anticipation.

 

Let me get this straight Banshees. Someone hired you????

 

You stood next to someone bizarre in an elevator? How do you think they felt?

[One shot Paddy 1,208]

Titanic. Fed up with hearing about how we built it, it killed 1500 people thats not somthing to be proud off!!!

 

Mind you I did like the T-shirt I saw in Belfast the other day "Titanic....... It was alright when it left here!"

[time 8,672]

The FA.

 

Not content with pandering to the TV companies when scheduling the FA Cup semi-finals, they have announced the final will kick-off at 5:15.

[Josco 49]

Little bit of a work place whinge here... I am going to be off sick for 10 days after next Thursday 26th, (a small op on my right hand, thank you for asking) but the company has decided to make me redundant during this time. Mrs Josco v. upset, and I can't help wondering if I'll ever work again.

[Phantom 2,550]

Little bit of a work place whinge here... I am going to be off sick for 10 days after next Thursday 26th, (a small op on my right hand, thank you for asking) but the company has decided to make me redundant during this time. Mrs Josco v. upset, and I can't help wondering if I'll ever work again.

 

Josco, sorry to hear that. Are they going to hire you back after the op and they're just looking for a way around paying you sick pay or are they just finding an excuse to lay people off?

[the_engineer 1,415]

Little bit of a work place whinge here... I am going to be off sick for 10 days after next Thursday 26th, (a small op on my right hand, thank you for asking) but the company has decided to make me redundant during this time. Mrs Josco v. upset, and I can't help wondering if I'll ever work again.

 

You should check you rights they may not be able to lay you off like that . You could argue they only made you redundant because you got ill.

[the_engineer 1,415]

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

 

newspapers

 

 

The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,223]

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

 

newspapers

 

 

The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.

Just go round there and cut her head off and shit in her neck.

See how she likes that!!!

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

 

newspapers

 

 

The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.

Just go round there and cut her head off and shit in her neck.

See how she likes that!!!

 

Fuck me, judging by your picture, you've grown some hair since you last posted on here

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,223]

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

 

newspapers

 

 

The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.

Just go round there and cut her head off and shit in her neck.

See how she likes that!!!

 

Fuck me, judging by your picture, you've grown some hair since you last posted on here

One word Lardy: Regaine

Brilliant stuff and, im sure, would work on balding minges too.

Give it a go.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

 

newspapers

 

 

The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.

Just go round there and cut her head off and shit in her neck.

See how she likes that!!!

 

Fuck me, judging by your picture, you've grown some hair since you last posted on here

One word Lardy: Regaine

Brilliant stuff and, im sure, would work on balding minges too.

Give it a go.

 

Love to, but due to excess guntage, I haven't been able to tend my lady-garden for some years now. It's like the Amazon fucking Rainforest down there. Dark, damp and full of creepy crawlies

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,223]

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

 

newspapers

 

 

The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.

Just go round there and cut her head off and shit in her neck.

See how she likes that!!!

 

Fuck me, judging by your picture, you've grown some hair since you last posted on here

One word Lardy: Regaine

Brilliant stuff and, im sure, would work on balding minges too.

Give it a go.

 

Love to, but due to excess guntage, I haven't been able to tend my lady-garden for some years now. It's like the Amazon fucking Rainforest down there. Dark, damp and full of creepy crawlies

Blimey!!

You want to get yourself one of these, Lardy.

It may not eat every creepy crawlie in your rainforest but, wiv a tongue like that, you wont give a shit anyway!!

[the_engineer 1,415]

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

 

newspapers

 

 

The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.

Just go round there and cut her head off and shit in her neck.

See how she likes that!!!

 

Fuck me, judging by your picture, you've grown some hair since you last posted on here

One word Lardy: Regaine

Brilliant stuff and, im sure, would work on balding minges too.

Give it a go.

 

Love to, but due to excess guntage, I haven't been able to tend my lady-garden for some years now. It's like the Amazon fucking Rainforest down there. Dark, damp and full of creepy crawlies

Blimey!!

You want to get yourself one of these, Lardy.

It may not eat every creepy crawlie in your rainforest but, wiv a tongue like that, you wont give a shit anyway!!

 

I would but she is 6 foot 5 and 18 stone .

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,223]

Britain's got talent and all other singing panel judge dancing ice skating z list celeb shows.

 

newspapers

 

 

The woman at the back of me who lets her dogs s##t in her yard and she just brushes it into the alley way allowing huge piles of it to build up to the point were you open your back door to get some fresh air only to breathe in and think you're in some slum in India.

Just go round there and cut her head off and shit in her neck.

See how she likes that!!!

 

Fuck me, judging by your picture, you've grown some hair since you last posted on here

One word Lardy: Regaine

Brilliant stuff and, im sure, would work on balding minges too.

Give it a go.

 

Love to, but due to excess guntage, I haven't been able to tend my lady-garden for some years now. It's like the Amazon fucking Rainforest down there. Dark, damp and full of creepy crawlies

Blimey!!

You want to get yourself one of these, Lardy.

It may not eat every creepy crawlie in your rainforest but, wiv a tongue like that, you wont give a shit anyway!!

 

I would but she is 6 foot 5 and 18 stone .

Er, I dont suppose you met her in a club down in old Soho where you drink champagne and it tastes just like Cherry cola, C-O-L-A COLA.......

[Madame Defarge 21]

^

Monsieur, do you 'ave a license for that minkey?

[Guest David]

Those Wii thingys are terribly dangerous. My son bought his over on Christmas day, we played all the usual games.

Im standing there playing against him at Tennis, getting well into it, when Ive gone for a nice backhand which has ended up sweeping a fucking great big glass of Red Wine off the coffee table and up the wall, a la Jackson Bollock.

Every one pissed themselves laughing, I felt a twat and ive had to repaint the wall.

We are still finding bits of glass from the obliterated glass.........

Those Wii thingys are terribly dangerous. My son bought his over on Christmas day, we played all the usual games.

Im standing there playing against him at Tennis, getting well into it, when Ive gone for a nice backhand which has ended up sweeping a fucking great big glass of Red Wine off the coffee table and up the wall, a la Jackson Bollock.

Every one pissed themselves laughing, I felt a twat and ive had to repaint the wall.

We are still finding bits of glass from the obliterated glass.........

 

Why do you think I REALLY got one? It's not for the fitness, it's so I can 'accidently' smack the kids in the mouth three times a week.

They are dangerous. That's right. I've got one, or rather did have, until I nearly broke my leg when I drunkenly tripped over it. I ended up at the hospital getting my ankle X - rayed - sitting in the A & E with a bunch of people who all seemed to have the flu - which I then got. I do agree with Lady Grendel about the people on the bus. I don't use public transport - I use my motorbike. Mind you, the flu should go in Room 101.

[Guest David]

Spending the day shivering in your office because the heating has packed in just when you're coming down with flu, no doubt it'll be worse tomorrow when the sneezing really kicks in .

Believe me, if you have got the flu, you shouldn't be at work. Half the porters on our ward have got it because one of us - (no, not me) came to work when she had the flu. It shot round the ward.

 

 

Wise words Dave.

 

 

...even if 5 months too late!

Lady Grendel, you sound like just the type I'd have as a girlfriend - if I didn't already have one. I'm sorry if my quote about avoiding the flu was a bit late - my comp had bust. If you feel at all ill, you should immediately stay off work. Pardon me, but are you a lawyer or a solicitor? At the hospital I work at the bosses are very understanding if we get sick - if one of us so much as sneezes the Sister lets us stay off. Unfortunately that hasn't always been heeded - one of the nurses had the norovirus and she came to work - but we were lucky - none of the patients got it. Is your boss compassionate when one of you gets sick? A cough, a sniffle, a sneeze or even a blow of the nose gets us sent home on suspicion of a cold.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,223]

Spending the day shivering in your office because the heating has packed in just when you're coming down with flu, no doubt it'll be worse tomorrow when the sneezing really kicks in .

Believe me, if you have got the flu, you shouldn't be at work. Half the porters on our ward have got it because one of us - (no, not me) came to work when she had the flu. It shot round the ward.

 

 

Wise words Dave.

 

 

...even if 5 months too late!

Lady Grendel, you sound like just the type I'd have as a girlfriend - if I didn't already have one. I'm sorry if my quote about avoiding the flu was a bit late - my comp had bust. If you feel at all ill, you should immediately stay off work. Pardon me, but are you a lawyer or a solicitor? At the hospital I work at the bosses are very understanding if we get sick - if one of us so much as sneezes the Sister lets us stay off. Unfortunately that hasn't always been heeded - one of the nurses had the norovirus and she came to work - but we were lucky - none of the patients got it. Is your boss compassionate when one of you gets sick? A cough, a sniffle, a sneeze or even a blow of the nose gets us sent home on suspicion of a cold.

Responding to two year old posts makes you a Grade A Bell End.

Congratulations.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

Spending the day shivering in your office because the heating has packed in just when you're coming down with flu, no doubt it'll be worse tomorrow when the sneezing really kicks in .

Believe me, if you have got the flu, you shouldn't be at work. Half the porters on our ward have got it because one of us - (no, not me) came to work when she had the flu. It shot round the ward.

 

 

Wise words Dave.

 

 

...even if 5 months too late!

Lady Grendel, you sound like just the type I'd have as a girlfriend - if I didn't already have one. I'm sorry if my quote about avoiding the flu was a bit late - my comp had bust. If you feel at all ill, you should immediately stay off work. Pardon me, but are you a lawyer or a solicitor? At the hospital I work at the bosses are very understanding if we get sick - if one of us so much as sneezes the Sister lets us stay off. Unfortunately that hasn't always been heeded - one of the nurses had the norovirus and she came to work - but we were lucky - none of the patients got it. Is your boss compassionate when one of you gets sick? A cough, a sniffle, a sneeze or even a blow of the nose gets us sent home on suspicion of a cold.

Responding to two year old posts makes you a Grade A Bell End.

Congratulations.

 

Au contraire - someone that can remember years down the line which days his computer was bust has a real talent. I bet he can also remember details of every wank he's ever had, whether he used Kleenex, a sock, a T shirt or the curtains, and whether he was thinking about his mummy or Deirdre Barlow at the time. He's like fucking Rain Man.