Paul Bearer 5,683 Posted June 17, 2009 one French teacher with a perforated ear drum. You been arrested yet LB? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,687 Posted June 17, 2009 one French teacher with a perforated ear drum. You been arrested yet LB? The f'ucking broadband connection in these cells is s'hit Actually, it didn't get too violent (sadly). Youngest Lard had obviously warned the teacher I was on the warpath - when I phoned this morning, she said 'oh yes, I've already spoken to YL today, all sorted, very sorry for the mix-up, blah blah blah, she's now booked on the trip, wah wah wah'. And lo, a letter was thrust from the tiny hands of my kid into my arms today, with a smug grin and a 'ha ha Mum, when we go to France you've got to drop me off at school at FIVE THIRTY A.M.'............kids, who'd 'ave 'em? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Monoclinic 39 Posted June 17, 2009 one French teacher with a perforated ear drum. You been arrested yet LB? The f'ucking broadband connection in these cells is s'hit Actually, it didn't get too violent (sadly). Youngest Lard had obviously warned the teacher I was on the warpath - when I phoned this morning, she said 'oh yes, I've already spoken to YL today, all sorted, very sorry for the mix-up, blah blah blah, she's now booked on the trip, wah wah wah'. And lo, a letter was thrust from the tiny hands of my kid into my arms today, with a smug grin and a 'ha ha Mum, when we go to France you've got to drop me off at school at FIVE THIRTY A.M.'............kids, who'd 'ave 'em? Paul Gadd? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,143 Posted June 18, 2009 What has your MP been claiming for? My MP [the lovely Rt. Hon. Alex Salmond, MP, MSP, PC, MA etc etc] tried to impeach Tony Blair and claimed 800 quid for food during a Parliamentary recess. He is a hard working MP though, having voted a total of about 6 times since 2007. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,687 Posted June 22, 2009 Cop this, dudes. I went to KFC yesterday and they'd RAN OUT OF F'UCKING CHICKEN! WHAT THE F'UCK'S THAT ALL ABOUT! IT'S KENTUCKY FRIED CHICKEN! I was most displeased. It took me twenty minutes to get there as well, seeing as my town's so s'hit that it hasn't even got it's own KFC. ARSE-WANGLERS! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Gunjaman5000 30 Posted June 23, 2009 Tracey Ullman. Not funny. Not funny at all. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madcow 6 Posted June 23, 2009 Sorry - got to rant about this one! Just read that Heat Magazine (who reads that sh*t anyway?) have voted Robert Pattinson to be the Sexiest Man Alive. What? Have they looked at him? He's fugly. I'd rather shag my husband......... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,687 Posted June 23, 2009 Sorry - got to rant about this one! Just read that Heat Magazine (who reads that sh*t anyway?) have voted Robert Pattinson to be the Sexiest Man Alive. What? Have they looked at him? He's fugly. I'd rather shag my husband......... Never heard of him. And even after googling, I a) still haven't heard of him and 2) think he needs a f'ucking good haircut. I think I'd rather shag your husband as well. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madcow 6 Posted June 23, 2009 Sorry - got to rant about this one! Just read that Heat Magazine (who reads that sh*t anyway?) have voted Robert Pattinson to be the Sexiest Man Alive. What? Have they looked at him? He's fugly. I'd rather shag my husband......... Never heard of him. And even after googling, I a) still haven't heard of him and 2) think he needs a f'ucking good haircut. I think I'd rather shag your husband as well. ..............and he bears more than a passing resemblance to Homer Simpson these days! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolAnn 924 Posted June 23, 2009 Sorry - got to rant about this one! Just read that Heat Magazine (who reads that sh*t anyway?) have voted Robert Pattinson to be the Sexiest Man Alive. What? Have they looked at him? He's fugly. I'd rather shag my husband......... Never heard of him. And even after googling, I a) still haven't heard of him and 2) think he needs a f'ucking good haircut. I think I'd rather shag your husband as well. ..............and he bears more than a passing resemblance to Homer Simpson these days! The boy needs to wash his hair. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madcow 6 Posted June 23, 2009 Sorry - got to rant about this one! Just read that Heat Magazine (who reads that sh*t anyway?) have voted Robert Pattinson to be the Sexiest Man Alive. What? Have they looked at him? He's fugly. I'd rather shag my husband......... Never heard of him. And even after googling, I a) still haven't heard of him and 2) think he needs a f'ucking good haircut. I think I'd rather shag your husband as well. ..............and he bears more than a passing resemblance to Homer Simpson these days! The boy needs to wash his hair. Pluck his eyebrows, get a nose job etc etc. The list is endless. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132 Posted June 23, 2009 Bloody hell! Havent you women got a fence ( or sofa ) to sharpen your claws on? Whats the poor lad ever done to you? Admittedly, it seems that what passes for "fit" in 2009 would have passed as fuggin ugly in my day (as I sit back in my rocking chair, puffing on my pipe, labrador at my feet) Kids today, eh? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
To die for 3 Posted June 24, 2009 Sorry - got to rant about this one! Just read that Heat Magazine (who reads that sh*t anyway?) have voted Robert Pattinson to be the Sexiest Man Alive. What? Have they looked at him? He's fugly. I'd rather shag my husband......... Never heard of him. And even after googling, I a) still haven't heard of him and 2) think he needs a f'ucking good haircut. I think I'd rather shag your husband as well. ..............and he bears more than a passing resemblance to Homer Simpson these days! The boy needs to wash his hair. Pluck his eyebrows, get a nose job etc etc. The list is endless. The paint on abs for the next Twilight film are also very disappointing. The kid that plays Jacob has a much better body! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolAnn 924 Posted June 24, 2009 The paint on abs for the next Twilight film are also very disappointing.The kid that plays Jacob has a much better body! Paint on abs? You're s'hitting me. Edit - Apparently not. Googling that was informative...too informative. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
To die for 3 Posted June 26, 2009 People who know where their horn is but not what indicators are for. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abysmal Granite 0 Posted June 26, 2009 Bananas. They scare the living crap out of my cat.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abysmal Granite 0 Posted June 26, 2009 Oh yeah, people who.. oh hang on.. just people actually.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Star Crossed 33 Posted June 26, 2009 Bananas. They scare the living crap out of my cat..... Oh yeah, people who.. oh hang on.. just people actually.. Just people who abuse their pets with fruit. Not that one could call that particularly just. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abysmal Granite 0 Posted June 26, 2009 Bananas. They scare the living crap out of my cat..... Oh yeah, people who.. oh hang on.. just people actually.. Just people who abuse their pets with fruit. Not that one could call that particularly just. My apologies.. On seeing the subtitle to this topic "Deathlisters hate pets" I thought it appropriate.. anyway, the cat abuse take place with an oven glove, not a banana.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 148 Posted June 26, 2009 Women's tennis. Nice legs, but the tennis? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,143 Posted June 26, 2009 Being single when fat, ugly munts of folk seem to be getting along blissfully. I work with one hideous creature who is always slagging me for being single. Even she has a long term relationship yet still there are no takers for me. I don't mind being single, but I object to people who are tons uglier than me settling down and being happy. It's not fair. Then again, the ugly sloth only bagged her man by getting pregnant. She told him it was his, but I have spoken to numerous people who tell me it can't be his. So if I get any more sh*te from her, I'll be pointing her man to the stage of Jeremy Kyle. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Tuber Mirum 119 Posted June 26, 2009 Being single when fat, ugly munts of folk seem to be getting along blissfully. But if you don't get out of the house and meet people, you don't have as much of a chance of finding happiness. Now I'm going to be in Aberdeen later on on Wednesday and I'd be delighted to show you where you could have a whale of a time and meet some like-minded young people. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 148 Posted June 26, 2009 Being single when fat, ugly munts of folk seem to be getting along blissfully. But if you don't get out of the house and meet people, you don't have as much of a chance of finding happiness. Now I'm going to be in Aberdeen later on on Wednesday and I'd be delighted to show you where you could have a whale of a time and meet some like-minded young people. Cracking post Nap and cracking clips. Landlord of the year. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,143 Posted June 26, 2009 Being single when fat, ugly munts of folk seem to be getting along blissfully. My god...I now have my own theme tune... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
