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I'm going to rant, even at the cost of some of the "passive nature" persona I've been trying to build up as of late.

 

People who spit gum on the sidewalk need to be shot, and I know there's a lot of you f***kers out there because it's not just me scrapping your sticky fruit wad off the bottom of my soles every week. Is it really that hard to chew it for a few more seconds until you reach a F*****g garbage can, or until you get a kleenex to spit it out in? You've been chewing it for the last hour, surely it will last a few more minutes. A special place in hell for you all to rot.

 

If you're going to accuse me of something, you'd better be damn well sure I did it. Check your sources. Double check. F*****g triple check. Nothing pisses me off more than being chastized for something I didn't do, when a simple question could have solved the whole problem. Was your absence excused? Yes, I think so. Had that exchange taken place, I wouldn't have had to send you angry messages over AIM (not as effective as yelling, but a bit nicer I guess). Be especially careful when you've already accused me of that once and I've already proven you wrong.

 

OK, I feel better now. Thank you DL. :unsure:

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People who spit gum on the sidewalk need to be shot

 

I was visiting a nearby town recently (Macclesfield, if you really want to know), and saw that they had bins attached to some posts in the town centre on which it read "Recycle your chewing gum here". It's horrible to think what it might be recycled into!

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People who spit gum on the sidewalk need to be shot

 

I was visiting a nearby town recently (Macclesfield, if you really want to know), and saw that they had bins attached to some posts in the town centre on which it read "Recycle your chewing gum here". It's horrible to think what it might be recycled into!

All of the bins in my high street that have special gum receptacles have had the 'G' of 'Gum' amusingly graffitti'd into a 'C' with a deft flick of a black marker. So, still a sticky mess around the side of the hole, etc.

 

A bit like when my dyslexia got me into big trouble at the 'Wig Bank'; the place that I've since found out is where you leave your dead toupees....

 

Anyway, the reason I'm here is Sky and their new 'chatty' options menus. The following options I seriously had to sit through 10 mins ago: -

 

Hit 1

Press 2

Then it's 3

Hit 4 (ran out of ideas I guess?)

 

I wonder if people were having trouble when they previously used 'press' for each option? W*nkers.

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People who spit gum on the sidewalk need to be shot

 

I was visiting a nearby town recently (Macclesfield, if you really want to know), and saw that they had bins attached to some posts in the town centre on which it read "Recycle your chewing gum here". It's horrible to think what it might be recycled into!

Nearly as bad as the gum flickers are those who wind their car windows down to flick out cigarette butts. Shooting is too good for them - should be vapourised.

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Champagne. Overrated French gnat's piss!

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Champagne. Overrated French gnat's piss!

Athough quite useful if you ever need to get very drunk in a very short amount of time.

 

Oh, and someone in the office said 'see you next Tuesday' to me today, and when I didn't split my sides with laughter at the outrageous cheekiness of the gag they presumed I didn't get it and started to explain it to me very slowly. The c*nt.

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Guest Guest

(P)Ricky Gervais...

 

The smug, arrogant git he is...

 

Yet, on the bright side, he's got a big fat face that's ripe for punching :D

 

By the way, did I forget to mention I didn't like him? :D

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Champagne. Overrated French gnat's piss!

I do have some sympathy for your point of view, not being a great fan of sparkling wines. Given the choice I would prefer to 'toast the bride' with one of the two great English alcoholic exports, a pint of Guinness or a tot of whisky.

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(P)Ricky Gervais...

 

The smug, arrogant git he is...

 

Yet, on the bright side, he's got a big fat face that's ripe for punching :D

 

By the way, did I forget to mention I didn't like him? :D

 

Admittedley not everyone's cup of tea, but, with some major help from David Bowie, he did come up with this moment of sublimely brilliant comedy on Extras.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iQG_UOuqlM0

 

I've been humming the tune all week

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The View. What a ghastly piece of shite. If the networks are going to air something like

that , they should name it Shite and have large red letters saying You are Watching Shite

at the bottom of the screen to warn the innocent channel surfer.

 

The sound of Barbara Walter's voice alone could probably cause a epileptic seizure in people who are

prone to them, but the combined vocal content of the entire crew yapping about who's fat and who's

not and empower this and empower that may have killed off a few of my remaining brain cells.

 

I've never actually :D but I've heard it feels good when you stop. It can't feel as good as when

you stop watching The View.

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Champagne. Overrated French gnat's piss!

I do have some sympathy for your point of view, not being a great fan of sparkling wines. Given the choice I would prefer to 'toast the bride' with one of the two great English alcoholic exports, a pint of Guinness or a tot of whisky.

I think our Celtic friends might have something to say about that.

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Champagne. Overrated French gnat's piss!

I do have some sympathy for your point of view, not being a great fan of sparkling wines. Given the choice I would prefer to 'toast the bride' with one of the two great English alcoholic exports, a pint of Guinness or a tot of whisky.

I think our Celtic friends might have something to say about that.

:D

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Champagne. Overrated French gnat's piss!

I do have some sympathy for your point of view, not being a great fan of sparkling wines. Given the choice I would prefer to 'toast the bride' with one of the two great English alcoholic exports, a pint of Guinness or a tot of whisky.

I think our Celtic friends might have something to say about that.

:D

The only other English alcoholic export that sells in any quantity in France that I could think of was 'Baileys', which I find very sickly, but, 'Baileys' it is then. Cheers! :D

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People who think that being pictured stroking your chin makes you appear intelligent. Such as this guy:

 

thoughtful.jpg

 

Also, could someone help me with this survey I am doing. The question is: "who thinks there are too many bloody surveys around these days?*". It would be extremely interesting to know where you come from so we can come out with a statement such as "more people in Preston think surveys are a complete waste of time than anywhere else in the country, whilst surveys are most popular in Dundee, said the researchers from the University of Droitwich / Norwich Union / The Dark Satanic league of Researchers" (delete as appropriate).

 

* especially on the internet - Yahoo seem to think one a day amongst their main headlines is about right!

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People who say "haitch" and people who don't hold a knife & fork properly.

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My husband when he's got a cold.

 

Anyone'd think he's suffering pneumonia or something. Grrr. :D

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My husband when he's got a cold.

 

Anyone'd think he's suffering pneumonia or something. Grrr. :D

No no no, you've got it all wrong. He hasn't got a cold, he's got man flu. Much more severe than a cold. Show some sympathy in his hour of need, and stop being so heartless.

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People who say "haitch" and people who don't hold a knife & fork properly.

 

Brilliant, Lady Die, I totally concur, wholeheartedly....and people who water their b****y gardens when our country is on water restrictions!

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People who say "haitch" and people who don't hold a knife & fork properly.

 

Brilliant, Lady Die, I totally concur, wholeheartedly....and people who water their b****y gardens when our country is on water restrictions!

Ditto!

 

And parents who go to the supermarket together and take their children. One parent could stay at home with the kids....

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Assistants in shoe shops who try and sell you cleaner/protecter/anti-slip soles etc. :D

 

I've worn my high-heeled sandals all summer, and haven't slipped and broken my kneck once, despite the dire predictions of the woman who sold them to me (because I didn't buy the 12 euro non slip things to stick on the bottom). Have just been promised a similar fate in relation to the boots I bought this morning, I've also been warned that they will shrivel up in no time at all because I didn't invest in the 15 euro tub of shoe cream. Grrrrrr :D

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People who say "haitch" and people who don't hold a knife & fork properly.

 

Brilliant, Lady Die, I totally concur, wholeheartedly....and people who water their b****y gardens when our country is on water restrictions!

Ditto!

 

And parents who go to the supermarket together and take their children. One parent could stay at home with the kids....

 

Double ditto!!

 

And people who park opposite your driveway so you can't get out of your own *bleeping* driveway without hitting them!!

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I've also been warned that they will shrivel up in no time at all because I didn't invest in the 15 euro tub of shoe cream. Grrrrrr :D

 

Just say "why, are they that poorly made? Maybe I won't buy the shoes after all!" and see what reaction you get!

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Assistants in shoe shops who try and sell you cleaner/protecter/anti-slip soles etc. :D

 

I've worn my high-heeled sandals all summer, and haven't slipped and broken my kneck once, despite the dire predictions of the woman who sold them to me (because I didn't buy the 12 euro non slip things to stick on the bottom). Have just been promised a similar fate in relation to the boots I bought this morning, I've also been warned that they will shrivel up in no time at all because I didn't invest in the 15 euro tub of shoe cream. Grrrrrr :D

Assistants in shoe shops who come back with silly alternatives if they haven't got what you want.

 

Customer: Have you got these in black in size 7?

Assistant goes away to find out & comes back 10 mins later holding a pair of brown shoes.

Assistant : We've got these in size 6.

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People who say "haitch" and people who don't hold a knife & fork properly.

 

Brilliant, Lady Die, I totally concur, wholeheartedly....and people who water their b****y gardens when our country is on water restrictions!

Ditto!

 

And parents who go to the supermarket together and take their children. One parent could stay at home with the kids....

 

Double ditto!!

 

And people who park opposite your driveway so you can't get out of your own *bleeping* driveway without hitting them!!

Hitting them would be a great solution if it wasn't for the fact that you'd probably damage your own car.

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People who say "haitch" and people who don't hold a knife & fork properly.

 

Brilliant, Lady Die, I totally concur, wholeheartedly....and people who water their b****y gardens when our country is on water restrictions!

Ditto!

 

And parents who go to the supermarket together and take their children. One parent could stay at home with the kids....

 

Double ditto!!

 

And people who park opposite your driveway so you can't get out of your own *bleeping* driveway without hitting them!!

Hitting them would be a great solution if it wasn't for the fact that you'd probably damage your own car.

 

Absolutely.....One day, I'm going to buy a big truck and run over them....

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