Dear Abby...

[CarolAnn 926]

*snip*

 

Why? Because dogs don't understand human language, certainly not implication or connotation. Sure, a conditioned, Pavlovian response to certain words, but no actual understanding of what's being said (ok, CA, i'm sure Cockers are the exception).

 

*snip*

 

Damn skippy.

[Josco 49]

Wow. Just read through this entertaining topic. Great fun. Keep it up.

[maryportfuncity 10,646]

Time for Lardy's daily boost of good wishes:

 

Go well Lardy, less than two months to some gentle back slapping and a few drinks!

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Time for Lardy's daily boost of good wishes:

 

Go well Lardy, less than two months to some gentle back slapping and a few drinks!

 

Oh bless you, you fine fellow - sadly I will not be able to attend this year's jolly, but I wish you all a vomiting good time!

[Godot 149]

Dear Abby,

 

I have noticed recently that one of my fellow posters seems a tad fed up with work, people and things in general. I thought he might enjoy seeing this

or this one. Do you think it would cheer him up? Spread the lurv.

 

yours,

 

Godot

[maryportfuncity 10,646]

Dear Abby,

 

I have noticed recently that one of my fellow posters seems a tad fed up with work, people and things in general. I thought he might enjoy seeing this

or this one. Do you think it would it would cheer him up? Spread the lurv.

 

yours,

 

Godot

 

Can't be doing with that sh*te, but

sh*te does it for me every time. Might work on our stressed out colleague, if only to show him others can have a worse day at work than he seems to.

[time 8,599]

Dear Abby,

 

I have noticed recently that one of my fellow posters seems a tad fed up with work, people and things in general. I thought he might enjoy seeing this

or this one. Do you think it would it would cheer him up? Spread the lurv.

 

yours,

 

Godot

 

Can't be doing with that sh*te, but

sh*te does it for me every time. Might work on our stressed out colleague, if only to show him others can have a worse day at work than he seems to.

 

A little perspective is called for methinks,

.

[honez 79]

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

Dear Abby,

 

Is there life after death?

 

*Beat me to it this time Jonah!

Edited January 17, 2013 by Paul Bearer

[The Unknown Man 584]

Pauline Phillips, advice columnist under the pen name Abigail Van Buren, has died at age 94.

[Toast 16,140]

Does anyone care about Pauline Phillips? I honestly don't, but it seems like the "Dear Abby" columnist needs some help to decorate her grave.

 

I didn't get the grave-decorating remark either

Edited January 17, 2013 by DevonDeathTrip
Ah sorry, that was some crap moderation on my part. I knew there was a Dear Abby thread, but I'd forgotten it wasn't really about Pauline Phillips. I would move them back to the dead thread, but my fish pie is nearly ready. I'll do it later.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Ive no idea what anybody is on about BUT I reread this whole thread and it was pretty damn good!

[angryGreatness 96]

Pauline Phillips, advice columnist under the pen name Abigail Van Buren, has died at age 94.

 

It's beginning to look like a bad year for advice columnists as quickly joining her is Dolores Prida,the so-called "Latina Dear Abby" at age 69.

[CaptainChorizo 1,982]

Ay Dios Mio

[CarolAnn 926]

Putting this thread back on track.....

 

My cocker spaniel (yes, LFN, I do mean my dog) and I are trapped in the wilds of Northern California. This is not the California you see in the tourist brochures, with overly tanned and siliconed people cavorting in the surf and on the slopes. This is the California they forget about - agricultural and poor. Dirt poor. Sacramento Valley, for anyone who can be bothered to look it up.

 

Why is my spoiled Italian-American Princess ass here, you ask? My 92 year old mother in law had a stroke and my husband works for a total shit for brains.

 

I am in a house that has never seen even a radio or a major newspaper. TV? Ha! I had to have broadband installed so I could work while I was here and it took some doing. The grocery store is bag your own. There is no movie theater. Heat still comes from a wood stove. The closest mall is 60 miles away.

 

Do you have any idea how difficult this is for a certified city dweller like myself?

 

On top of everything else, my mother in law has become a hoarder and I am having to deal with health hazards. I just hope I don't break any of those jars over there when I figure out how to sneak them out of here.

 

My husband wants to sell our house in Texas and move here.

 

So I'm depending on your guys to give me a mental diversion.

[Rotten Ali 600]

Dear CarolAnn.

I feel for your situation, however now is not the time to be working. You need to lay down the law in the respect of his idea about moving back to this area. Really bad idea for him to return to his childhood. Everyone needs to move on with their lives. This would be a retrograde step.

Take control. Let him know its this mad moving idea or your relationship.

Aim to wrap up what you need to about the house now and get back to your normal habitat ASAP.

But do tell him you love him more that anything else.

All the best

Abby Ali

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Dear Carol Ann

Move her to Texas.

Problem solved.

Yours

Abby LFN.

PS: I like Cocker Spaniels coz I had one once.

PPS: I didnt even make a joke about "having a stroke.."

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

So I'm depending on your guys to give me a mental diversion.

 

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Quality stuff PB.

If you can dig out one featuring a 92 year old mother in law riding a Cocker Spaniel you will have hit the jackpot.

[CarolAnn 926]

Quality stuff PB.

If you can dig out one featuring a 92 year old mother in law riding a Cocker Spaniel you will have hit the jackpot.

 

Don't tempt me.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Dear CarolAnn

 

Stab your husband in the middle of the face with a chisel, and leave a roller skate on the stairs next time your mother in law goes up for a shite.

 

Yours

Lard Abby

[time 8,599]

Abby may be gone, but people still got problems.

[Magere Hein 1,400]

Dear Abby, or whoever today's Duty Agony Aunt is,

 

I have just applied for a job at a smallish company that develops and sells nautical technical systems. I'm rather keen on landing that job, as it is both technically challenging and precisely the kind of work I love to do. I wouldn't be writing this if there wasn't this problem: the company does most of its business with navies. Shooting ships, so to say. When I applied for the job, I made it clear that I won't do development for offensive weapons, like small arms, cannon or rockets or guidance systems for those weapons.

 

In the morning of Labour Day my agent called, telling that the company didn´t quite like my reservations. I explained to him that I would be willing to discuss them with the company and that perhaps we could come to some kind of accomodation. Apparently they rather fancy me, for later today I was asked for an interview, in which we will discuss, beside my technical expertise, possible solutions.

 

I'm not a pacifist. I'm well aware that violence works and that defense against other people's violence often entails violence itself, unfortunately but unavoidably. I have, however, serious anti-militaristic tendencies. I believe that the only reason we have the military, is because they do. The same is, of course, also true for them. Seen from the outside the solution is simple. Take the toys from the boys^[1].

 

But damn, I want that job. But I don't want a job in which after several months (or years perhaps) I must refuse an assignment for moral reasons, without some arrangement to fall back on. That would be no less unethical.

 

So Dear Abby, here's my question: I have no idea to what length this employer is able and willing to give room to my ethical qualms. I'll soon learn, of course, but I'm contemplating my possible approaches:

• ask for much and give some change
  
• play open and see where it gets me
  
• fuck principles and get the job, silly.
  

Whaddayathink?

 

yours in doubt,

Hein

 

^[1] and liberate yourselves, repressed of all nations.

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

Dear Hein

 

•fuck principles and get the job, silly.

 

If YOU don't do it/want it, someone else will.

 

Regards

 

Paul Bearer

 

pp Abby

[time 8,599]

Dear Hein,

 

I have in the past been in much the same position; pragmatism won.

 

You need a job, they're offering, so take it.

 

If, down the line, you are asked to take on something you'd rather not do, worry about it then, but don't worry about something that may not ever happen, now.

 

pp Abby.