City Breaks

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

Well, Ive just got back from a short City break to the marvellous Amsterdam, the following is my report:

 

Visited Coffee shops = Got Wrecked

Visited the Red Light District = Nearly went blind

Visited Museums and other places of interest = Dont remember seeing much because of the above.

Marvellous.

PS: Lady FN enjoyed it too.

[Octopus of Odstock 1,859]

Valencia, Seville & Barcelona are lovely. Don't like Madrid, too dull & civil servant-like.

 

Geneva was interesting, but pricy. Heraklion is a dump. Tunis is a real gem of a place. Atlanta was remarkably clean & easy to navigate. Edinburgh didn't really impress me much - Manchester, especially, and Sheffield have really smartened themselves up in recent years. Valletta in Malta was okay, but needs to smarten itself up.

 

However my favourite city that I have visited would have to be Havana. Wonderful, especially when you go off the tourist trail.

 

Here ends OOO's brief guide to city breaks.

 

Next on the list (hopefully).. Bruges & Brussels in 2008 in OOO's famous Belgian tour.

[welshman 30]

Valencia, Seville & Barcelona are lovely. Don't like Madrid, too dull & civil servant-like.

 

Geneva was interesting, but pricy. Heraklion is a dump. Tunis is a real gem of a place. Atlanta was remarkably clean & easy to navigate. Edinburgh didn't really impress me much - Manchester, especially, and Sheffield have really smartened themselves up in recent years. Valletta in Malta was okay, but needs to smarten itself up.

 

However my favourite city that I have visited would have to be Havana. Wonderful, especially when you go off the tourist trail.

 

Here ends OOO's brief guide to city breaks.

 

Next on the list (hopefully).. Bruges & Brussels in 2008 in OOO's famous Belgian tour.

I recommend Stockholm or Barcelona

[Handrejka 1,840]

I recommend Barcelona too. St Petersburg, Venice, Cologne and Budapest are also lovely. I'm not a reallyfan of Moscow apart from Red Square. Birmingham was nice than I expected, the only disappointment I've had so far is Delph

[Banshees Scream 107]

Hotel Victoria Budapest. Talk about classy and a view which I imagine is definitely (priceless high) and with your lover it looks like a ticket worth every cent. Excellent. Paradise.

 

[Guest Well travelled]

I can highly recommend cockplay in Scotland. I wasn't too keen on Wank in Germany, I found it quite tedious by myself but I hear that across the boarder in Austria about 180 miles east is a place called f*****g which is supposed to be more enjoyable.

 

A place in Kentucky that caught my attention was Big Beaver Lick but being small town America seemed to be over much quicker than expected, no one seems to hang around down there for too long.

 

Newfoundland has a few pleasant surprises in store with Dildo and Come by Chance as two of their more exciting towns.

 

If you like to camp it up then Sandyballs in the New Forest, UK is probably the one for you.

 

If you are quite a noisy person then maybe you should try heading to the Philippines where Sexmoan delights all of its weary travellers.

 

Finally one destination for our friend iain. There is a suburb of greater Buenos Aires where I think you'd feel instantly at home called Moron.

 

Happy travelling folks!

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

I can highly recommend cockplay in Scotland. I wasn't too keen on Wank in Germany, I found it quite tedious by myself but I hear that across the boarder in Austria about 180 miles east is a place called f*****g which is supposed to be more enjoyable.

 

A place in Kentucky that caught my attention was Big Beaver Lick but being small town America seemed to be over much quicker than expected, no one seems to hang around down there for too long.

 

Newfoundland has a few pleasant surprises in store with Dildo and Come by Chance as two of their more exciting towns.

 

If you like to camp it up then Sandyballs in the New Forest, UK is probably the one for you.

 

If you are quite a noisy person then maybe you should try heading to the Philippines where Sexmoan delights all of its weary travellers.

 

Finally one destination for our friend iain. There is a suburb of greater Buenos Aires where I think you'd feel instantly at home called Moron.

 

Happy travelling folks!

 

Can I go travelling with you next time?

[Cowboy Ronnie 77]

I was in Sutton Coldfield a few weekends back. Had been told it was "one of the nicest parts of Birmingham", which I guess is akin to "it's one of the best forms of cancer". A complete and utter sh!thole, devoid of any charm, subtlety or anything of note. Just a series of busy two lane roads, connected by roundabouts, interspersed with faceless chain stores and perhaps the highest ratio of newsagents in the country. The only English towns that have depressed me more have been Newcastle-under-Lyme (Disease) and Morecambe.

[Godot 148]

I was in Sutton Coldfield a few weekends back. Had been told it was "one of the nicest parts of Birmingham", which I guess is akin to "it's one of the best forms of cancer". A complete and utter sh!thole, devoid of any charm, subtlety or anything of note. Just a series of busy two lane roads, connected by roundabouts, interspersed with faceless chain stores and perhaps the highest ratio of newsagents in the country. The only English towns that have depressed me more have been Newcastle-under-Lyme (Disease) and Morecambe.

I had a holiday in Morecambe once. The mighty mouse ride was quite good.

 

Have just been to Washington (rubbish and too hot) and New York (too hot and a bit rubbish apart from the Metropolitan Museum where the air conditioning was excellent).

 

Other places to watch out for from Godot's guide to places:

 

Gellert baths in Budapest, dodgy if you're not gay.

Bruges - stinky canals.

Tromso - too much snow in winter.

Los Angeles - where's the centre ? Has anyone ever found it?

Mendoza - odd people try to take your blood pressure.

Leh - soon out of breath but nice.

Agra - burn your feet on the marble.

Florence - Very busy but worth it.

Futalafu - too much running water.

Victoria Falls - long drops.

Cairns - too many jewellry shops.

Rio - thongs everywhere.

Berlin - chock full of Germans.

Caracas - not what it was.

Chicago - not very chic

Warsaw - a bit Russian

[Handrejka 1,840]

I was in Sutton Coldfield a few weekends back. Had been told it was "one of the nicest parts of Birmingham", which I guess is akin to "it's one of the best forms of cancer". A complete and utter sh!thole, devoid of any charm, subtlety or anything of note. Just a series of busy two lane roads, connected by roundabouts, interspersed with faceless chain stores and perhaps the highest ratio of newsagents in the country. The only English towns that have depressed me more have been Newcastle-under-Lyme (Disease) and Morecambe.

 

You've never been to Stafford then.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

I was in Sutton Coldfield a few weekends back. Had been told it was "one of the nicest parts of Birmingham", which I guess is akin to "it's one of the best forms of cancer". A complete and utter sh!thole, devoid of any charm, subtlety or anything of note. Just a series of busy two lane roads, connected by roundabouts, interspersed with faceless chain stores and perhaps the highest ratio of newsagents in the country. The only English towns that have depressed me more have been Newcastle-under-Lyme (Disease) and Morecambe.

 

You've never been to Stafford then.

 

You, clearly, are both very hard to please.

[Octopus of Odstock 1,859]

I was in Sutton Coldfield a few weekends back. The only English towns that have depressed me more have been Newcastle-under-Lyme (Disease) and Morecambe.

 

Have you ever been to Middlesbrough? I nearly threw myself out of the car, a la Brian Harvey, it was that depressing.

[Monoclinic 39]

I was in Sutton Coldfield a few weekends back. The only English towns that have depressed me more have been Newcastle-under-Lyme (Disease) and Morecambe.

 

Have you ever been to Middlesbrough? I nearly threw myself out of the car, a la Brian Harvey, it was that depressing.

 

I can quite understand. I went once for a job interview. (Chemists work in the shitholes of the world, official, no wonder they jump on any old smart/bio/technology start up bandwagon) The company then paid for a taxi back to the station (they took me to Darlington, just as bad) and there was an almighty thunderstorm. Black bits were falling out of the sky, I kid thee not, as I walked across to the station. Furthest North I'd ever been in England, hasn't influenced me to return.

 

As for my favourite cities, it's hard to choose but here is my potential top 5 (sorry for the Euro slant!)

 

Krakow - I loved it, and it rained for most of my stay. 20p for vodka albeit pre EU prices! I'm a sucker for a town with mediaeval charm.

Bratislava - purely for its street art, like the man poking his head out of a drain or the peeping tom, again cheap booze, again I'm going on pre EU prices though.

Buenos Aires - The Paris of the southern hemisphere (so yes, it too is a little dirty and populated by a few "it's not my problem" types) get beyond that it is fantastic. Me encanta! Which was lucky as I had to visit Argentina quite a bit as a child; however I’ve been back by myself which says the family holidays weren’t under duress!

Freiburg im Breisgau - Has these cool one inch deep rivulets of clean water running through the streets. If ever that was attempted here in Britain I'm sure we'd still find a shopping trolley, welly boots and lots of fag ends floating by.

Bologna - Porticos, pasta and a pub crawl* around the student area. *Well it would have been except we never managed to leave the Irish bar we'd popped in for a dirty happy hour cocktail.

 

If anyone has any tips on Ljubljana and Zagreb I'm off in a month or so and would welcome the suggestions.

[Banshees Scream 107]

On expenses

 

Mono in life you get just what you pay for a great deal of the time. If prices are low on high class quality goods then it's heaven but usually there is a significant reason why it's eye brow raising (If you get my tone). I'm talking common sense but occasionally, these low price for high price situations come up and they are for real and when they are (take advantage of your prospects) so you can save your money and be your 'cheap usual self' not that it's a crime.

 

Buenos Aires - The Paris of the southern hemisphere (so yes, it too is a little dirty and populated by a few "it's not my problem" types) get beyond that it is fantastic.

We've met?

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

I was in Sutton Coldfield a few weekends back. Had been told it was "one of the nicest parts of Birmingham", which I guess is akin to "it's one of the best forms of cancer". A complete and utter sh!thole, devoid of any charm, subtlety or anything of note. Just a series of busy two lane roads, connected by roundabouts, interspersed with faceless chain stores and perhaps the highest ratio of newsagents in the country. The only English towns that have depressed me more have been Newcastle-under-Lyme (Disease) and Morecambe.

 

You've never been to Stafford then.

 

You, clearly, are both very hard to please.

 

 

Come to Trowbridge. Apparently (and I'm not sure how true this is, but I believe it) they made a documentary in the eighties about how Trowbridge was the glue-sniffing capital of Britain. Someone recently changed our 'Welcome to Trowbridge' signs to 'Welcome to Poland' because of the number of foreign workers that have descended upon our fair town. There was also talk that at one point we had more murders per square mile than New York (I might have got that wrong though). Full of teenage single mums wearing crop tops even though they weigh 16 stone. We have had a pile of rubble standing in the middle of town for god knows how long while the planning people decide whether to let us have a cinema or not (we are the County Town of Wiltshire), and wherever there is a free 2 square foot of land they build 'townhouses'. It really is an absolute f*****g hole. And I know, I've lived here 24 years. And the only famous person to come out of Trowbridge is that fat sweaty slug Steven Lee, the snooker player.

[Monoclinic 39]

We've met?

 

Thankfully, no. I'd remember.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

On expenses

 

Mono in life you get just what you pay for a great deal of the time. If prices are low on high class quality goods then it's heaven but usually there is a significant reason why it's eye brow raising (If you get my tone). I'm talking common sense but occasionally, these low price for high price situations come up and they are for real and when they are (take advantage of your prospects) so you can save your money and be your 'cheap usual self' not that it's a crime.

 

Buenos Aires - The Paris of the southern hemisphere (so yes, it too is a little dirty and populated by a few "it's not my problem" types) get beyond that it is fantastic.

We've met?

 

Quote: ...."so you can save your money and be your 'cheap usual self'...."

I do hope that you are not saying that DLs very own and much loved "Cheeky Monkey" is an old Tight Wad.

[Banshees Scream 107]

Quote: ...."so you can save your money and be your 'cheap usual self'...."

I do hope that you are not saying that DLs very own and much loved "Cheeky Monkey" is an old Tight Wad.

 

Cheeky Monkey! Of course not! She isn't cheap!!! She is just very wise with her money. I hope your wise with your money. (We all should be wise with our money)

 

I don't think Cheeky Cheek Monkey is cheap, she just takes advantage of her opportunities. We all should take advantage of our opportunities. Low prices. Come on! Who blames her?

 

I don't.

 

Life is quality, and quality is life. And if you can get quality for low prices, your living the high life ladies and gentleman.

[Windsor 2,143]

She isn't cheap!!! She is just very wise with her money.

 

 

[DevonDeathTrip 2,288]

Like:

Quito

Palmero

Apia

 

Dislike:

Port Moresby

Majuro

Bucharest

[honez 79]

Love: Hong Kong, Paris.

Like: Sydney, Perth, Toronto, Vegas.

 

Dislike: Canberra, Wellington, NY

Detest: LA, Detroit, Crewe

[Tuber Mirum 119]

Was in Perth myself last week.

 

Nice place.

[maryportfuncity 10,017]

Budapest, highly recommended. Sun, loads of bars and coffee shops pleased to see you. History, art, great public transport and coffees and snacks in the main tourist drag on a price-par with downtown Workington!

[honez 79]

Budapest, highly recommended. Sun, loads of bars and coffee shops pleased to see you. History, art, great public transport and coffees and snacks in the main tourist drag on a price-par with downtown Workington!

I don't recall reading your report on Workington, MPFC. Is it as delightful as one might imagine? Presumably, not quite as cosmopolitan as Hartlepool, but I'm sure it would be charming none the less.

[maryportfuncity 10,017]

It's not a city, but if you hang out in the wrong place too long there's a fair chance you'll get a break to some part of your anatomy!

 

Anyone from near Hartlepool intending to get their kicks on Route A66, would recognise Wukkie as a downmarket version of their own home town. Pretty much the same but everything from the supermarket to the football ground is that much smaller.

 

Wukkie heroin is quite affordable and a popular liesure pursuit, so I hear.