Ask A Deathlister

[honez 79]

You weren't out and about "researching" the other day, au naturale, perchance?

 

Honez, would you permit me to be a pedante française? I wouldn't usually but I know how much you love a pedant. It's au naturel. Ce n'est pas au naturale. We can't be having Delboy anglicisms now can we?

 

(If there are any errors above, they are clearly deliberate )

No worries mon petite unclinique, I'm afraid real French comes a distant fifth to English, Cymraeg, 'strine & Franglais for me. Although I am try improvement my Engrish.

[Dave to the Grave 11]

I don't think I like the tone of your euphamism there LFN. Men who 'walk their dogs' are more likely to discover dead bodies in the undergrowth rather than indulge in any sort of al-fresco bummery.

 

I did hear that Studland Bay was popular with men who "walked their dogs".

Pooka, dear chap, could you confirm this?

Regards

LFN

Hmm.

I only asked because Im sure I read somewhere that this spot was a prime location for bonking couples to be "observed" by men ( who, purely by chance, were coming from miles around to walk their dogs).

I do appologise if I gave the impression that men only went there to practice the ancient art of fudge packing.

Nothing to do with the practice, like Richard Gere, of sticking a dog up your fundament then. Or was it Germaine Greer and a ferret?

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

I don't think I like the tone of your euphamism there LFN. Men who 'walk their dogs' are more likely to discover dead bodies in the undergrowth rather than indulge in any sort of al-fresco bummery.

 

I did hear that Studland Bay was popular with men who "walked their dogs".

Pooka, dear chap, could you confirm this?

Regards

LFN

Hmm.

I only asked because Im sure I read somewhere that this spot was a prime location for bonking couples to be "observed" by men ( who, purely by chance, were coming from miles around to walk their dogs).

I do appologise if I gave the impression that men only went there to practice the ancient art of fudge packing.

Nothing to do with the practice, like Richard Gere, of sticking a dog up your fundament then. Or was it Germaine Greer and a ferret?

Now that is spooky.

Today, I was seriously considering creating a thread devoted to celebrity gossip.

For example the "alleged" squeaky clean female celebrity ( quite old now and much respected) a turd and a young mans chest ( or pillow depending on what you read).

One of our highly respected members related that one to me a while back.

You obviously have the mind of a sewer or surf into some very strange places.

Either way, another quality post from you sir.

[The Pooka 26]

You weren't out and about "researching" the other day, au naturale, perchance?

 

Honez, would you permit me to be a pedante française? I wouldn't usually but I know how much you love a pedant. It's au naturel. Ce n'est pas au naturale. We can't be having Delboy anglicisms now can we?

 

(If there are any errors above, they are clearly deliberate )

Well Mono, the problem with pedantry is that there's always someone with a version of Asperger's that's a little more troubling than your own. I believe that the French for pedant is pédant. Its masculine as are you. So that should be pédant français. Or should it?

[The Pooka 26]

I don't think I like the tone of your euphamism there LFN. Men who 'walk their dogs' are more likely to discover dead bodies in the undergrowth rather than indulge in any sort of al-fresco bummery.

 

I did hear that Studland Bay was popular with men who "walked their dogs".

Pooka, dear chap, could you confirm this?

Regards

LFN

Hmm.

I only asked because Im sure I read somewhere that this spot was a prime location for bonking couples to be "observed" by men ( who, purely by chance, were coming from miles around to walk their dogs).

I do appologise if I gave the impression that men only went there to practice the ancient art of fudge packing.

I think that you are right, LFN. Studland, having developed its reputation as a nudist beach, began to attract what we once called browners and has, subsequently, been a hotspot for dogging.

 

Needless to say, the Pooka steers clear of such debauchery, visiting Studland only to play cricket on its magnificently sited pitch and, once, to take the late Mrs Pooka for a walk to Old Harry Rocks from which, alas, she took an unfortunate and fatal tumble.

[Monoclinic 39]

You weren't out and about "researching" the other day, au naturale, perchance?

 

Honez, would you permit me to be a pedante française? I wouldn't usually but I know how much you love a pedant. It's au naturel. Ce n'est pas au naturale. We can't be having Delboy anglicisms now can we?

 

(If there are any errors above, they are clearly deliberate )

Well Mono, the problem with pedantry is that there's always someone with a version of Asperger's that's a little more troubling than your own. I believe that the French for pedant is pédant. Its masculine as are you. So that should be pédant français. Or should it?

 

True too true.

 

Yes there is an accent too but I was too lazy to go find it, my laptop can be a bit adversed to them. Truth be told, pédant I think is an adjective but could be the noun as well, I haven't got a scooby. If it is the noun, I'd be okay with the pédante française last time I checked. Well, except for the fact that I am British.

 

All in all guilty as charged Monsieur.

[The Pooka 26]

You weren't out and about "researching" the other day, au naturale, perchance?

 

Honez, would you permit me to be a pedante française? I wouldn't usually but I know how much you love a pedant. It's au naturel. Ce n'est pas au naturale. We can't be having Delboy anglicisms now can we?

 

(If there are any errors above, they are clearly deliberate )

Well Mono, the problem with pedantry is that there's always someone with a version of Asperger's that's a little more troubling than your own. I believe that the French for pedant is pédant. Its masculine as are you. So that should be pédant français. Or should it?

 

True too true.

 

Yes there is an accent too but I was too lazy to go find it, my laptop can be a bit adversed to them. Truth be told, pédant I think is an adjective but could be the noun as well, I haven't got a scooby. If it is the noun, I'd be okay with the pédante française last time I checked. Well, except for the fact that I am British.

 

All in all guilty as charged Monsieur.

.......... and how should you be punished my lad?

[Godot 149]

You weren't out and about "researching" the other day, au naturale, perchance?

 

Honez, would you permit me to be a pedante française? I wouldn't usually but I know how much you love a pedant. It's au naturel. Ce n'est pas au naturale. We can't be having Delboy anglicisms now can we?

 

(If there are any errors above, they are clearly deliberate )

Well Mono, the problem with pedantry is that there's always someone with a version of Asperger's that's a little more troubling than your own. I believe that the French for pedant is pédant. Its masculine as are you. So that should be pédant français. Or should it?

 

True too true.

 

Yes there is an accent too but I was too lazy to go find it, my laptop can be a bit adversed to them. Truth be told, pédant I think is an adjective but could be the noun as well, I haven't got a scooby. If it is the noun, I'd be okay with the pédante française last time I checked. Well, except for the fact that I am British.

 

All in all guilty as charged Monsieur.

Pedant is as pedant does, Mrs Gump used to say.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

MPFC, we were discussing your sighting at work today. One of the suggestions put forward was that the chap you saw might have been wearing a flesh coloured G string. How good a look did you get? Could he have been a genital covering interloper, trying to blend in with the nudists?

 

Going off topic a bit, I went to an amazing rave near Studland Bay in 1994. It went on for days, the KLF turned up, locals were horrified, a strange man was giving away industrial amounts of ketamine and I drove 100 miles home with the handbrake on.

[Banshees Scream 110]

Having Devon bring up such a topic to his work partners is really priceless. Yeah ... somebody I know who was on the beach wanted some snacks and .. Well .. they had to cross a nudist beach to reach them and some guy walked right passed them as plain as day ... yeah .. he had no balls or nothing.

 

I've never been a beach person. I wouldn't sit in the sun for more then fifteen minutes or so. It's my belief that spending quality time with the sun is just asking for melanoma. People who go to those tanning places really need to be educated on the subject.

[Twelvetrees 10]

Having Devon bring up such a topic to his work partners is really priceless. Yeah ... somebody I know who was on the beach wanted some snacks and .. Well .. they had to cross a nudist beach to reach them and some guy walked right passed them as plain as day ... yeah .. he had no balls or nothing.

 

I've never been a beach person. I wouldn't sit in the sun for more then fifteen minutes or so. It's my belief that spending quality time with the sun is just asking for melanoma. People who go to those tanning places really need to be educated on the subject.

 

Making a good point there, BS. I grew up at a seaside resort and never saw the fascination...I did see the results, though - and that's what put me off. Maybe the sun burned this guy's cock off?

[Terminator 13]

Making a good point there, BS. I grew up at a seaside resort and never saw the fascination...I did see the results, though - and that's what put me off. Maybe the sun burned this guy's cock off?

 

No doubt he received withered looks.....

[Toast 16,137]

Still, why is it that corpses are always found by men 'out walking their dogs.'

 

They aren't. They are found by the dogs.

[Typhoid Harry 23]

One could ask the same about nipples on men. What are they all about?

 

If girls would pay them the same attention men do theirs, this wouldn't be a question.

[TAFKAG 70]

Why do (most) people put their (wine) glasses away upside down? Surely it's less hygenic to have the rim left on a surface, even though it stops dust and other detritus getting in? Of course, if you never put your wine glasses away there is less of a problem.

 

In a diverse but similarly rhetorical vein, why do indie bands (unfailingly, British ones) feel that employing an orchestra will somehow elevate their pointless drivel to the heights of sublimity?

 

 

Why do people like Coldplay?

 

 

I could go on.

[Godot 149]

Why do (most) people put their (wine) glasses away upside down? Surely it's less hygenic to have the rim left on a surface, even though it stops dust and other detritus getting in? Of course, if you never put your wine glasses away there is less of a problem.

I suspect you are starting from a false proposition here. l doubt whether most people do store their wine glasses upside down for that very reason. Also if they are still hot after washing they can stick to the shelf. We store bowl up. Pubs usually rack them upside down to stop them gathering dust.

 

Storage upside down, on the other hand, prevents any "foreign bodies" landing in the glass. In my courting days I once went for dinner to a friend of my in-laws-to-be. This bloke was a posh solicitor. He and his flabby wife (both in their 60s) used to walk around the house in the nude. I only know this because their cleaner told my mother-in-law's cleaner.

 

Anyway they poured me some red wine and I was just about to have a drink when I saw a big bloody spider floating in the glass. If I could have relived it all again now I would have picked it out and said "What's this, then?" But being young and not wanting to cause a scene I secreted the spider among the leftovers and left the wine. On second thoughts I think wine glasses should be stored upside down.

[TAFKAG 70]

Why do (most) people put their (wine) glasses away upside down? Surely it's less hygenic to have the rim left on a surface, even though it stops dust and other detritus getting in? Of course, if you never put your wine glasses away there is less of a problem.

I suspect you are starting from a false proposition here.

 

No, most people I know put them away upside down. Maybe I just know the wrong type of people.

 

But thanks for such a prompt and thorough answer all the same. I quite like this deathlist site.

[Terminator 13]

Why do (most) people put their (wine) glasses away upside down? Surely it's less hygenic to have the rim left on a surface, even though it stops dust and other detritus getting in? Of course, if you never put your wine glasses away there is less of a problem.

I suspect you are starting from a false proposition here.

 

No, most people I know put them away upside down. Maybe I just know the wrong type of people.

 

But thanks for such a prompt and thorough answer all the same. I quite like this deathlist site.

 

Bars have historically placed their glasses upside down - as you said - to keep dust etc out of the glass. However, I agree there are then issues about what surface the glass rim is sitting on. We use drip mats that raise the glass off of the main surface (and run them through the dishwasher to maintain their cleanliness). However, I never thought about the way other establishments maintain hygiene/cleanliness - until TAFKAG raised the point. I suppose we all trust bar staff to ensure a clean glass storage environment(?)

[honez 79]

Why do (most) people put their (wine) glasses away upside down? Surely it's less hygenic to have the rim left on a surface, even though it stops dust and other detritus getting in? Of course, if you never put your wine glasses away there is less of a problem.

I suspect you are starting from a false proposition here.

No, most people I know put them away upside down. Maybe I just know the wrong type of people.

 

But thanks for such a prompt and thorough answer all the same. I quite like this deathlist site.

Bars have historically placed their glasses upside down - as you said - to keep dust etc out of the glass. However, I agree there are then issues about what surface the glass rim is sitting on. We use drip mats that raise the glass off of the main surface (and run them through the dishwasher to maintain their cleanliness). However, I never thought about the way other establishments maintain hygiene/cleanliness - until TAFKAG raised the point. I suppose we all trust bar staff to ensure a clean glass storage environment(?)

I store mine on their side, corks facing me. When I fancy a snifter, I simply grab one of the long-necked glasses from the rack in glass cellar, take the out cork and drink from it, being careful to align the glass label side down, to catch any careless drips whilst I am quaffing.

When I have finished the entire glass, I wash it and toss it in the recycling. When I fancy another glass, I simply grab another long-necked one from the rack.

[Godot 149]

OK, I'm a bloke, and therefore unqualified to judge, but, accepting this is a distressing story and that the woman must have a problem or two, I find it hard to believe that anyone could mistake a baby for a crap. I mean surely she must have noticed. What about the umbilical chord? And doesn't she check first? I never flush while still seated.

 

My question I suppose for DL's mothers, is: is this conceivable?

 

 

A second question: why should it be inevitable that the baby would drown? I thought that pool births were fashionable. I have also seen film of babies underwater looking quite happy. I would have thought it could have survived a minute or two.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

OK, I'm a bloke, and therefore unqualified to judge, but, accepting this is a distressing story and that the woman must have a problem or two, I find it hard to believe that anyone could mistake a baby for a crap. I mean surely she must have noticed. What about the umbilical chord? And doesn't she check first? I never flush while still seated.

 

My question I suppose for DL's mothers, is: is this conceivable?

 

 

A second question: why should it be inevitable that the baby would drown? I thought that pool births were fashionable. I have also seen film of babies underwater looking quite happy. I would have thought it could have survived a minute or two.

 

I don't know about the drowning thing, but speaking as one who has given birth twice, I think it's bollocks. It hurts enough having a big sh*t - to not realise you've just passed a BABY through your fanny is, to my mind, absolutely impossible. The only plausible way I can think this could happen is that if the baby was very premature - not the case in this story. And of course, as you say, the umbilical cord is still hanging out of you after the baby is born, it takes another few pushes to pass the placenta. There is no way she didn't know.

[Madame Defarge 21]

OK, I'm a bloke, and therefore unqualified to judge, but, accepting this is a distressing story and that the woman must have a problem or two, I find it hard to believe that anyone could mistake a baby for a crap. I mean surely she must have noticed. What about the umbilical chord? And doesn't she check first? I never flush while still seated.

 

My question I suppose for DL's mothers, is: is this conceivable?

 

 

A second question: why should it be inevitable that the baby would drown? I thought that pool births were fashionable. I have also seen film of babies underwater looking quite happy. I would have thought it could have survived a minute or two.

 

I don't know about the drowning thing, but speaking as one who has given birth twice, I think it's bollocks. It hurts enough having a big sh*t - to not realise you've just passed a BABY through your fanny is, to my mind, absolutely impossible. The only plausible way I can think this could happen is that if the baby was very premature - not the case in this story. And of course, as you say, the umbilical cord is still hanging out of you after the baby is born, it takes another few pushes to pass the placenta. There is no way she didn't know.

At my grandfather's wake a woman came up to me and started talking to me about my grandparents. Then she said this:

Your grandmother saved my life when I was a baby. I thought she meant she was choking or something and my grandmother saved her. Nope. According to this lady, my grandmother plucked her out of the loo seconds after she was born. When we got home I wouldn't let the story go and kept questioning my parents about it. Finally they told me that the pregnant lady lived next door to my grandparents, and was crazy as a bedbug.

[CarolAnn 926]

OK, I'm a bloke, and therefore unqualified to judge, but, accepting this is a distressing story and that the woman must have a problem or two, I find it hard to believe that anyone could mistake a baby for a crap. I mean surely she must have noticed. What about the umbilical chord? And doesn't she check first? I never flush while still seated.

 

*snip*

 

The baby can survive for a couple of minutes as long as the cord is intact. There is very little chance, short of total nutjobness, that this girl didn't know she'd had the baby. A 7# baby doesn't just fall out. I has to be pushed out, and without assistance it can wreak some major damage to the perineum unless her history included being rode hard and put up wet a bunch of times. A 7# baby is also a little too big to be flushed down the toilet, unless it was some crazy humongous toilet.

 

Any woman within 50 miles should have known she was pregnant.

 

Her "partner" is an idiot. A mass in her stomach from a wheat allergy? Please again. Pregnancy is pretty specific and there are other signs. Jesus. What a moron.

 

I think she probably smothered the poor baby and threw him in the trunk of her car. Bitch.

 

A 48 weeks suspended sentence is criminal in and of itself. I'm sure that the inconclusive autopsy was the problem, but sometimes you just have to ask yourself "What the hell?" This is why I wouldn't make a good judge. I'd throw everyone in the pokey, starting with her. Bitch.

[Bastard Factory 0]

Is this a game or just a data site?

How do I win?

What do I win?

Whats the Point?

What happens when say 12 people are all right in 2008? Tiesbreakers?

 

See I got my own Celebrity Death Pool 2009 going and its a little different...

 

Please advise

BastardFactory

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

Is this a game or just a data site? - It's an Education.

How do I win? - Stay alive

What do I win? -Our Utmost Respect

Whats the Point? -Good Question.

What happens when say 12 people are all right in 2008? Tiesbreakers? -Please refer to the unwritten rules.