dead Michael Winner

[doomchanter 2]

I would like to propose Mr.Winner for 2005. His waistline and exceedingly rich diet must be a "recipe for disaster".

As director of the first three "Deathwish" films he certainly deserves the honour

[Stayin Alive 26]

Are you trying to suggest that Michael might have a deathwish?

 

I wonder if eSure provide life cover. I must check.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,366]

Mr Winner has been looking especially corpulant and red nosed recently.

As a regular reader of "Winners Dinners" in the Sunday Times, I worry that Michael is ordering "all the puddings" on the menu far too often. This will only hasten his demise.

[Mortician 2]

Mr Winner has been looking especially corpulant and red nosed recently.

As a regular reader of "Winners Dinners" in the Sunday Times, I worry that Michael is ordering "all the puddings" on the menu far too often. This will only hasten his demise.

Calm down dear, he's only a bloated talentless director who ruined Charles Bronson's career...

 

Let's hope for an accident that removes his no claims bonus once and for all.

[Guest Himler (Still Only A Guest)]

I thought dying ruined Charles Bronson's Career.

[Star Crossed 33]

As an impoverished student in Glasgow many moons ago, I once had the pleasure of witnessing Mr. Winner being ejected pre-meal from a (now Michelin starred) restaurant by the head chef, whose verbal tirade earned him a round of applause from the waiting staff (myself included) and other diners. This restaurant remains one of the few top-end british eateries that Winner has never, to the best of my knowledge, publicly reviewed.

 

You can't fault his work on Death Wish, though. Cutting edge social commentary and cheer-inducing scumbag riddance; an awesome movie in every respect. The sequel was pretty damned good too.

 

Are we e-sure that he's a good candidate? He's only 70, dear...

[Phantom 2,550]

It wasn't until Bronson made his 5th Deathwish that it was finally granted

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

I once had the pleasure of witnessing Mr. Winner being ejected pre-meal from a (now Michelin starred) restaurant

Memo to self: Don't speed-read posts so often. I swear I saw something about Mr. Winner getting some 'Special Sauce' before I went back to check.

[The Pooka 26]

Mr Winner has been looking especially corpulant and red nosed recently.

As a regular reader of "Winners Dinners" in the Sunday Times, I worry that Michael is ordering "all the puddings" on the menu far too often. This will only hasten his demise.

 

In each of his last two Sunday Times columns Michael has referred to weight loss of around two and a half stone. Given that he still appears to be a gluttonous pig one wonders if there may be some disease process at work. May be worth a punt for 2007.

[VSBfromH 74]

Nice (deliberate I'm sure) mistake here:

 

"When asked how she manages to gain the attention of her victims such as famous film director and Sunday Times restaurant critic Michael Winner (aged 97)..."

 

Good old Wiki!

[maryportfuncity 10,684]

Marie Helvin (13 August 1952 in Tokyo, Japan), of Hawaiian origin, was one of the first supermodels. She was one of the best-known faces of the 1970s and 1980s, and was married to photographer David Bailey in the 1970s. Marie Helvin who will be 54 years old this year,this former wife of David Bailey, the renowned photographer. Is herself a celebrated user of the camera. She specialises in cadid photographs of elderly overweight,grey haired,and badly dressed males, standing outside overpriced London restaurants. Where her victims have consumed protracted, and pretentious meals shortly before being photographed. She hopes to publish a book of her pavement snaps later this year, the title of which has not been confirmed, but is thought to be "Geriatric's & Gluttony." When asked how she manages to gain the attention of her victims such as famous film director and Sunday Times restaurant critic Michael Winner (aged 97). She replied. "With elderly men like Michael I find the only way to stop them falling asleep whilst standing, especially when they have just consumed enough food to keep a small African Village in calories for a month, is to brush my bosom with the palms of my hands, this never fails to extract the type of leer that passes for a smile." When asked if there was any romantic link between her and the ageing star of car insurance commercials. She replied. "Michael Winner and I have known each other for a many years, I used to do voluntary work for meals on wheels, and often I would deliver his meals to his modest Council owned address in Nottinghill Gate." "He sometimes would chase me around the kitchen trying to give me unsold copies of his autobiography in exchange for bigger portions." "He is quite harmless really, and I would recommend his tome to anybody who is tired of life, or has a problem sleeping

 

Thought I'd take the liberty of cutting and pasting the whole hilarious thing here as it'll doubtless fall foul of some editor who'll impose the truth on it.

[The Pooka 26]

Coincidentally Michael referred to the Marie Helvin trick in his Sunday Times column last week. From memory I think that he said that she had brushed her nipples when he got his camera out before realising that he wanted her to take the photo not pose for it.

 

I am still interested that he is boasting of losing considerable weight despite his column suggesting that he is a glutton. Maybe a reasonable bet for 07 or 08.

[Youth in Asia 1,088]

From today's Daily Mirror:

 

 

17 January 2007

EXCLUSIVE: DEATH WISH

Critically ill Michael Winner tells docs: I’d rather die than have my leg cut off

By STEPHEN MOYES

 

MICHAEL Winner has told doctors who want to amputate his diseased leg in a bid to save his life: “I would rather die than have it cut off.”

 

The film director was warned that removing the limb could be his only hope of survival after he suddenly fell ill while on a Caribbean holiday.

 

Eccentric Winner, 71, was last night “very, very, very sick” in intensive care at the private London Hospital in Harley Street.

 

His friends and family were at his bedside as he battled the mystery illness.

 

Winner’s PA Rose Bryan confirmed his life is in danger.

 

She said: “He is not very well. Very ill in fact.”

 

Winner, who directed the Death Wish trilogy starring Charles Bronson, initially told family and friends his condition was caused by a reaction to antibiotics given for a fever he developed in Barbados.

 

But it is understood he is suffering the effects of a long-term sickness. Winner said at the time: “Unfortunately, I had an absolutely dreadful reaction to the antibiotic and I came out in enormous blood blisters on my left leg.

 

“They covered the entire inside of it and each was five inches long.

 

“Then they all burst and I was rushed to hospital, sirens blaring.”

 

Winner, who had a triple heart bypass 12 years ago, had agreed to pay for an air ambulance to fly him back to the UK.

 

His condition improved and he flew home on a commercial jet.

 

But as soon as he arrived back, he took a turn for the worse.

 

During his stay at the Bayview hospital in Barbados, food critic Winner arranged for the chef at his resort to prepare special meals for him and send them over by taxi.

 

He said of the hospital: “It’s horrible here. They’re doing their best, but the food is disgusting.”

 

Winner was comforted by long-term girlfriend, Geraldine Lynton-Edwards during the couple’s ruined £90,000 holiday.

[Cowboy Ronnie 78]

I thought Winner was looking a little slimmer in his latest TV ads. Maybe it was the cancer diet plan, as I could hardly imagine him cramming any less food down his throat than usual.

 

And it would seem he shares a similar sense of humour to some of us DL'ers, if the following is accurate:

 

Michael Winner, when shown a picture of the Buncefield Oil Depot Fire whilst appearing as a guest on Have I Got News for You in December 2005, "Ah, that must be George Best's cremation", provoking laughter and outrage in equal measure.

 

Calm down dear!

[Lady Die 63]

I think he should go for the non-amputation option. What do other people think?

[Olveres 8]

I think he should go for the non-amputation option. What do other people think?

 

Absolutely, he's in my DDP :-), and it does seem he's got a Death Wish, bit of a daddy or chips scenario really, leg or life?

[Guest Guest]

BBC's version

 

http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/entertainment/6270581.stm

[Octopus of Odstock 2,216]

And it would seem he shares a similar sense of humour to some of us DL'ers, if the following is accurate:

 

Michael Winner, when shown a picture of the Buncefield Oil Depot Fire whilst appearing as a guest on Have I Got News for You in December 2005, "Ah, that must be George Best's cremation", provoking laughter and outrage in equal measure.

 

Yes, it's accurate - I remember well him saying it.

 

For what it's worth, I kinda like the old boy, without really having a good reason why - I hope he pulls through.

[The Pooka 26]

And it would seem he shares a similar sense of humour to some of us DL'ers, if the following is accurate:

 

Michael Winner, when shown a picture of the Buncefield Oil Depot Fire whilst appearing as a guest on Have I Got News for You in December 2005, "Ah, that must be George Best's cremation", provoking laughter and outrage in equal measure.

 

Yes, it's accurate - I remember well him saying it.

 

For what it's worth, I kinda like the old boy, without really having a good reason why - I hope he pulls through.

Yes, I rather enjoy the tone of his restaurant column in the Sunday Times. He sounds a greedy bugger but I suppose that if I had been paying $38,000 a night for a suite at Sandy Lane I'd want grub sent over to the hospital in Bridgetown(Youth in Asia post above).

 

For some time I have been remarking on his sudden weight loss, especially as he seems to be eating as much and as often as ever. Though I will miss his column, he is one of my 'naps' in Handrejka's little competition so I would welcome any information indicating that the London Clinic has allowed MRSA to get out of control. As Michael himself might say; that would be 'historic'.

[maryportfuncity 10,684]

Aol's lowdown on the same issue. I'm telling you now, he won't die to save his leg, but a bloke who thinks like that might struggle to re-discover his joie de vivre, and therefore die fairly soon afterwards.

[Octopus of Odstock 2,216]

Winner Says "all limbs are staying where they are"

[Teddy 21]

Winner Says "all limbs are staying where they are"

 

Where? In the hospital?

[Guest Guest]

look slike Michael is a winner over death this time!

[The Pooka 26]

look slike Michael is a winner over death this time!

Is that you Dorothy Parker?

[Grim_Rita 4]

From his Sunday Times column:

 

PS I have been in hospital since January 2 in Barbados, from which I took a Swiss Air-Ambulance to the London Clinic. I have had two operations (both serious!) but such is my dedication, I shall continue to amuse unless I kick the bucket!