Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218 Posted July 31, 2009 Did anybody hear Steve Wrights utterly pathetic interview of Katie Price today on Radio2? I tell you what, if his tongue had been any further up her a'rsehole he would have been licking her tonsils. Is that what we pay our Licence fees for?!!! Yours Angry of Norfolk 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted July 31, 2009 Did anybody hear Steve Wrights utterly pathetic interview of Katie Price today on Radio2?I tell you what, if his tongue had been any further up her a'rsehole he would have been licking her tonsils. Is that what we pay our Licence fees for?!!! Yours Angry of Norfolk Thanks. I now have an image of the bum-fluffed tw'at with his tongue in her rectum stuck firmly in my head. Please pass the petrol so I can pour it in my ear and set fire to my mind. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,646 Posted July 31, 2009 I've just cleaned up cat vomit that had a tail in it. Blech! I got very used to cleaning up the giblets when my beloved cat chose to express her cat nature and leave us tokens of her love. She died, suddenly and unexpectedly in May. But we've just agreed to take a mother and newborn from Cats Protection. Bring on the vomit and giblets! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted July 31, 2009 I've just cleaned up cat vomit that had a tail in it. Blech! I got very used to cleaning up the giblets when my beloved cat chose to express her cat nature and leave us tokens of her love. She died, suddenly and unexpectedly in May. But we've just agreed to take a mother and newborn from Cats Protection. Bring on the vomit and giblets! My friend's cats only ever vomit on his windowsill, so when he comes down in the morning and opens up the curtains he is met with a sicky surprise. I'm not really a big cat fan. I think Frankie Boyle (who I've got tickets to see in April, fact fans) got it right the other night, when in response to the answer '50 nights' he said the question was 'how long would you have to be laying dead in your flat before your cat gave a sh'it'. Most amusing Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolAnn 926 Posted July 31, 2009 I've just cleaned up cat vomit that had a tail in it. Blech! I got very used to cleaning up the giblets when my beloved cat chose to express her cat nature and leave us tokens of her love. She died, suddenly and unexpectedly in May. But we've just agreed to take a mother and newborn from Cats Protection. Bring on the vomit and giblets! My friend's cats only ever vomit on his windowsill, so when he comes down in the morning and opens up the curtains he is met with a sicky surprise. I'm not really a big cat fan. I think Frankie Boyle (who I've got tickets to see in April, fact fans) got it right the other night, when in response to the answer '50 nights' he said the question was 'how long would you have to be laying dead in your flat before your cat gave a sh'it'. Most amusing Mine would care before 50 days, but only because the food bowl would be empty and, as a cat, she sees no reason why she should have to work in any way at all to get her food. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted July 31, 2009 (Handrejka @ Jul 21 2009, 09:50 PM) *So, what's the stupidest thing you or someone you know has ever done? I work with someone who didn't know who Gordon Brown was. Her sympathetic friend tried to whisper the answer to her, but unfortunately she still got it wrong. In the world according to Sharlene, Gordon Brown is a Minister (the religious kind). She also thinks that the current US President is George Bush. I assume she's never heard of that Obama guy... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Abysmal Granite 0 Posted July 31, 2009 I've just gone through my kitchen cupboards and mercilessly chucked out anything with a best before date of 2005.. well you can't be too careful can you? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
To die for 3 Posted July 31, 2009 I've just cleaned up cat vomit that had a tail in it. Blech! I got very used to cleaning up the giblets when my beloved cat chose to express her cat nature and leave us tokens of her love. She died, suddenly and unexpectedly in May. But we've just agreed to take a mother and newborn from Cats Protection. Bring on the vomit and giblets! My friend's cats only ever vomit on his windowsill, so when he comes down in the morning and opens up the curtains he is met with a sicky surprise. I'm not really a big cat fan. I think Frankie Boyle (who I've got tickets to see in April, fact fans) got it right the other night, when in response to the answer '50 nights' he said the question was 'how long would you have to be laying dead in your flat before your cat gave a sh'it'. Most amusing Please, please, I'm begging, how the f'uck do you nteach a cat that? In fact anything other than puking just where youyr feet will stuymble in the dark. The cold oozing feeling of cat sick between the toes is getting too familiar. The bits are worse! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted August 1, 2009 Today I'm sorting out the shoe shelf. Now, my house consists of me and two teenage girls, so some of you men will appreciate the mammoth task I am undertaking. I have packed some Kendal Mint Cake and have updated my will. My own death may well be the next one you are discussing on DL Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Rotten Ali 600 Posted August 1, 2009 Having completed a job that's been on my JOBS LIST for the last 2 years (fix some broken tiles out at the edge of the floor in our conservatory) I'm now contemplating painting the patio-door frame. (It's another inside job for a wet day like today) Shall I? Sharn't I? Oh well, what the heck! I'll make a start on the undercoat! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted August 1, 2009 Well done RA, nice to see a man take his home responsibilities seriously Well I tidied the shoe shelf, chucked out about 20 pairs, felt smug, then went in my room, opened the wardrobe, moved some stuff and found a giant box - full of shoes I tidied my dining room cupboard as well. And now I'm about to go out for tea with my bro and then back to his for Vodka. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218 Posted August 1, 2009 I've just cleaned up cat vomit that had a tail in it. Blech! I got very used to cleaning up the giblets when my beloved cat chose to express her cat nature and leave us tokens of her love. She died, suddenly and unexpectedly in May. But we've just agreed to take a mother and newborn from Cats Protection. Bring on the vomit and giblets! My friend's cats only ever vomit on his windowsill, so when he comes down in the morning and opens up the curtains he is met with a sicky surprise. I'm not really a big cat fan. I think Frankie Boyle (who I've got tickets to see in April, fact fans) got it right the other night, when in response to the answer '50 nights' he said the question was 'how long would you have to be laying dead in your flat before your cat gave a sh'it'. Most amusing Please, please, I'm begging, how the f'uck do you nteach a cat that? In fact anything other than puking just where youyr feet will stuymble in the dark. The cold oozing feeling of cat sick between the toes is getting too familiar. The bits are worse! Simple really. Chain the f'ucker somewhere where it can puke till its hearts content. Make sure said chain has a length no longer than its body......you get the gist? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madcow 6 Posted August 7, 2009 This evening our Siamese Fighting Fish decided to jump out of the tank. This is not the first time it has done this. I wonder where she thinks she's going.....? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,138 Posted August 8, 2009 Returned from pub to find dog(s) had been sick all over sofa, carpet etc. All cleared up now, so just chilling out here. Probably down to the raw venison bones enjoyed earlier. Half a dozen more waiting in fridge thanks to kind butcher, so do we dare let them have 'em? Dilemma. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
honez 79 Posted August 8, 2009 This evening our Siamese Fighting Fish decided to jump out of the tank. This is not the first time it has done this. I wonder where she thinks she's going.....? Down the pub, looking for a fight. Why don't you buy a goldfish and put it in with it for a bit of fun for the fish, and you and the kids? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handrejka 1,903 Posted August 8, 2009 What's the point to brown nail polish? It looks absolutely revotling, there's woman at work who wears it and I keep wanting to ask her if she knows she's got poo on her fingers Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boudicca 702 Posted August 8, 2009 My cat hasn't been sick as I don't own one, nor have I poisoned the creatures which come into my garden exposing my children to toxoplasmosis. Yet. Also, are some fish vertical? I only ask because I have been "looking after" them and the one is very, er - straight. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Monoclinic 39 Posted August 8, 2009 Also, are some fish vertical? I only ask because I have been "looking after" them and the one is very, er - straight. I am not a *piscephile* but I think you can get bent ones. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Star Crossed 33 Posted August 8, 2009 My cat hasn't been sick as I don't own one ... Also, are some fish vertical? From some forum I found by Googling "fish swimming vertically"... "Do you know what type of fish this is? For some species, like an Abrimites Headstander this is a natural position. Is the head up or down? If the head's up, and it does this when you're in the room near the tank, it may be looking for food. It may also be "gasping" at the surface for air if there isn't a filter or airstone in the tank, or the ammonia and/or nitrite levels in the water are high. If the head is down, this may be a problem with the swim bladder - he may have a buildup of gas from a poor diet (usually feeding too much dry food [soak pellets and flakes first] or giving too much meat protein to a fish that needs more vegetable matter in its diet)." p.s. I agree re: brown nail polish, H. Why? Like brown eye-shadow or, infact, anything brown. "Excuse me, your brown shoes look, literally, like sh*t. Although they do match your sh*t-brown dress." The only obvious exception to this rule is when Kojak wears a brown 3-piece suit from Botany 500. p.p.s. "Swim" and "bladder"; two words which cause offence simply by their juxtaposition. Anyone for a kiddy-piss shampoo? All hands to the shallow end... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madcow 6 Posted August 8, 2009 This evening our Siamese Fighting Fish decided to jump out of the tank. This is not the first time it has done this. I wonder where she thinks she's going.....? Down the pub, looking for a fight. Why don't you buy a goldfish and put it in with it for a bit of fun for the fish, and you and the kids? I don't think me and the kids would fit in the tank........ Could be right about the pub, though! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,101 Posted August 9, 2009 Just spent 6 hours trimming the leylandii trees in the garden, I'm feken knackered Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218 Posted August 13, 2009 Just spent 6 hours trimming the leylandii trees in the garden, I'm feken knackered Trim them? Id get a chain saw and rip the b'stards to shreds. The most anti social tree in the universe. You are probably going to tell me you live in the middle of nowhere with only sheep for neigbours. How many pairs of wellies have you got then? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Paul Bearer 6,101 Posted August 14, 2009 Just spent 6 hours trimming the leylandii trees in the garden, I'm feken knackered Trim them? Id get a chain saw and rip the b'stards to shreds. The most anti social tree in the universe. You are probably going to tell me you live in the middle of nowhere with only sheep for neigbours. How many pairs of wellies have you got then? Erm......... I do live in the middle of nowhere and you are correct, I do have sheep for neighbours. There are a few other humans in the village as well. Also, I only have one pair of wellies Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,646 Posted August 14, 2009 Also, I only have one pair of wellies S'okay. Most of the lookers amongst the sheep only have one pair of back legs. You've gotta get really close to Sellafield before that rule ceases to apply. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest guesty Posted August 15, 2009 Also, I only have one pair of wellies S'okay. Most of the lookers amongst the sheep only have one pair of back legs. You've gotta get really close to Sellafield before that rule ceases to apply. Out of interest how many pairs of velcro gloves do you own? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
