DevonDeathTrip 2,358 Posted November 18, 2015 Looks like a mate has just scooped a good few grand by finding some ambergris (whale vomit). Cunt. How sure is he that it's ambergris? I'm only asking because that looks like a lump of palm oil to me? Fair play to him if he's right. How big is it? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sean 6,330 Posted November 19, 2015 Have shot myself in the foot in the last week. Last Thursday I went on a big night out with my friends and got rather hammered. I then drunkenly got with my flatmate.I have no idea why even though I was drunk as she is rather irritating although well meaning. Suffice to say she now thinks we are going out and I am figuring out how to give her the boot without hurting her feelings and also due to the fact she lives right next door. Awkward times ahead indeed ! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted November 19, 2015 Looks like a mate has just scooped a good few grand by finding some ambergris (whale vomit). Cunt. How sure is he that it's ambergris? I'm only asking because that looks like a lump of palm oil to me? Fair play to him if he's right. How big is it? "Fairly" sure. Still at sea so hard to know for definite. probably 2-2.5lbs , they don't have scale's on a boat , lol. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted November 19, 2015 http://www.ambergris.fr And he melted a bit in a spoon, said it looked like junk. I think he's on for 5/6 grand maybes. Hard to sell though, lol. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,586 Posted November 19, 2015 Have shot myself in the foot in the last week. Last Thursday I went on a big night out with my friends and got rather hammered. I then drunkenly got with my flatmate.I have no idea why even though I was drunk as she is rather irritating although well meaning. Suffice to say she now thinks we are going out and I am figuring out how to give her the boot without hurting her feelings and also due to the fact she lives right next door. Awkward times ahead indeed ! Two options spring to mind. 1. Get her to read that. However that would probably lead to a manifold increase in awkwardness. 2. You play the "I have a long think about this and I believe you deserve someone better than me". This might not work as she might disagree but if you do pull it off you can stay friends and maybe repeat the experience. However I would point out that I do not have a lot of experience in this type of relationship issue and should probably stop talking now..... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dr. Zorders 1,271 Posted November 19, 2015 Fuck her again and break the bad news to her in the middle of it. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
time 8,618 Posted November 19, 2015 Have shot myself in the foot in the last week. Last Thursday I went on a big night out with my friends and got rather hammered. I then drunkenly got with my flatmate.I have no idea why even though I was drunk as she is rather irritating although well meaning. Suffice to say she now thinks we are going out and I am figuring out how to give her the boot without hurting her feelings and also due to the fact she lives right next door. Awkward times ahead indeed ! Tell her you're not interested, then give her my number. 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Mad Hatter 1,092 Posted November 19, 2015 Have shot myself in the foot in the last week. Last Thursday I went on a big night out with my friends and got rather hammered. I then drunkenly got with my flatmate.I have no idea why even though I was drunk as she is rather irritating although well meaning. Suffice to say she now thinks we are going out and I am figuring out how to give her the boot without hurting her feelings and also due to the fact she lives right next door. Awkward times ahead indeed !just tell her your not in love if you pretend to love her and then break it to her it'll only be harder. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted November 19, 2015 Have shot myself in the foot in the last week. Last Thursday I went on a big night out with my friends and got rather hammered. I then drunkenly got with my flatmate.I have no idea why even though I was drunk as she is rather irritating although well meaning. Suffice to say she now thinks we are going out and I am figuring out how to give her the boot without hurting her feelings and also due to the fact she lives right next door. Awkward times ahead indeed ! Easy, just act like a massive asshole and she will dump you. When you say flatmate, do you actually live in the same flat and she just has the room next door to yours, or does she actually live next door? If it's the first, then this is piss easy, you just do things like get drunk and piss in her wardrobe, or leave porn DVDs in the player, or let her overhear you on the phone to all your other birds. If she lives next door, wait until she's home one night and then bang another bird really loudly up against your adjoining wall, while shouting 'THAT'S IT, AUNTY MARGARET, TAKE IT TO THE HILT IN YOUR BACK DOOR YOU FUCKING DIRTY OLD BITCH'. She will be kicking you in the bollocks and telling you to fuck off in no time. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DevonDeathTrip 2,358 Posted November 19, 2015 http://www.ambergris.fr And he melted a bit in a spoon, said it looked like junk. I think he's on for 5/6 grand maybes. Hard to sell though, lol. More than £5K if it weighs 2lb+. Sorry, not trying to be a killjoy and I really hope he's right. Just...(check out the comments underneath the article about melting it) As a habitual beachcomber and driftwood gatherer, I've always hoped to find some ambergris, hence my interest. Apparently ambergris is impossible to harvest, but I once had an idea - while not entirely in a fit state to drive - of starting a whale farm and feeding the captive animals some sort of purgative before reaping the rewards.... 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted November 19, 2015 Well melted brown so here's hoping. What's worse is a few years back, he threw away a bigger bit. Downside of the whale farm, is it would need to be sperm ones, so a big pen needed. Halfers? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sean 6,330 Posted November 20, 2015 Have shot myself in the foot in the last week. Last Thursday I went on a big night out with my friends and got rather hammered. I then drunkenly got with my flatmate.I have no idea why even though I was drunk as she is rather irritating although well meaning. Suffice to say she now thinks we are going out and I am figuring out how to give her the boot without hurting her feelings and also due to the fact she lives right next door. Awkward times ahead indeed ! Easy, just act like a massive asshole and she will dump you. When you say flatmate, do you actually live in the same flat and she just has the room next door to yours, or does she actually live next door? If it's the first, then this is piss easy, you just do things like get drunk and piss in her wardrobe, or leave porn DVDs in the player, or let her overhear you on the phone to all your other birds. If she lives next door, wait until she's home one night and then bang another bird really loudly up against your adjoining wall, while shouting 'THAT'S IT, AUNTY MARGARET, TAKE IT TO THE HILT IN YOUR BACK DOOR YOU FUCKING DIRTY OLD BITCH'. She will be kicking you in the bollocks and telling you to fuck off in no time. Brilliant haha!Unfortunately she has turned out to be a bit like Glenn Close in Fatal attraction.At least I don`t have a rabbit:P She lives in the room next door but we share a kitchen. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolAnn 926 Posted November 20, 2015 http://www.ambergris.fr And he melted a bit in a spoon, said it looked like junk. I think he's on for 5/6 grand maybes. Hard to sell though, lol. More than £5K if it weighs 2lb+. Sorry, not trying to be a killjoy and I really hope he's right. Just...(check out the comments underneath the article about melting it) As a habitual beachcomber and driftwood gatherer, I've always hoped to find some ambergris, hence my interest. Apparently ambergris is impossible to harvest, but I once had an idea - while not entirely in a fit state to drive - of starting a whale farm and feeding the captive animals some sort of purgative before reaping the rewards.... The mental picture of a pod of puking whales boggles tbe mind. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted November 20, 2015 Oh, it happens every Friday night in town centres across the UK, CA. We are well used to see vomiting whales, resplendent in very short skirts and painted on eyebrows bringing up the evenings Jaegerbombs and kebab specials. Us Brits are sheer class or summat. 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolAnn 926 Posted November 20, 2015 Probably stretch sequins, too, I bet. I don't think there's anything funnier in Dallas than watching some drunk cowboy's best friend grab his hat to catch the puke. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted November 20, 2015 Oh, it happens every Friday night in town centres across the UK, CA. We are well used to see vomiting whales, resplendent in very short skirts and painted on eyebrows bringing up the evenings Jaegerbombs and kebab specials. Us Brits are sheer class or summat. Have you been stalking me? Have shot myself in the foot in the last week. Last Thursday I went on a big night out with my friends and got rather hammered. I then drunkenly got with my flatmate.I have no idea why even though I was drunk as she is rather irritating although well meaning. Suffice to say she now thinks we are going out and I am figuring out how to give her the boot without hurting her feelings and also due to the fact she lives right next door. Awkward times ahead indeed ! Easy, just act like a massive asshole and she will dump you. When you say flatmate, do you actually live in the same flat and she just has the room next door to yours, or does she actually live next door? If it's the first, then this is piss easy, you just do things like get drunk and piss in her wardrobe, or leave porn DVDs in the player, or let her overhear you on the phone to all your other birds. If she lives next door, wait until she's home one night and then bang another bird really loudly up against your adjoining wall, while shouting 'THAT'S IT, AUNTY MARGARET, TAKE IT TO THE HILT IN YOUR BACK DOOR YOU FUCKING DIRTY OLD BITCH'. She will be kicking you in the bollocks and telling you to fuck off in no time. Brilliant haha!Unfortunately she has turned out to be a bit like Glenn Close in Fatal attraction.At least I don`t have a rabbit:P She lives in the room next door but we share a kitchen. Well that's even better - take some selfies of you shitting in a saucepan and wanking into her fromage frais, and post them on her Facebook wall. She will be running for the hills before you can say 'can I have one phone call to my brief please' 4 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Youwanticewiththat 611 Posted November 20, 2015 Oh, it happens every Friday night in town centres across the UK, CA. We are well used to see vomiting whales, resplendent in very short skirts and painted on eyebrows bringing up the evenings Jaegerbombs and kebab specials. Us Brits are sheer class or summat. Have you been stalking me? Have shot myself in the foot in the last week. Last Thursday I went on a big night out with my friends and got rather hammered. I then drunkenly got with my flatmate.I have no idea why even though I was drunk as she is rather irritating although well meaning. Suffice to say she now thinks we are going out and I am figuring out how to give her the boot without hurting her feelings and also due to the fact she lives right next door. Awkward times ahead indeed ! Easy, just act like a massive asshole and she will dump you. When you say flatmate, do you actually live in the same flat and she just has the room next door to yours, or does she actually live next door? If it's the first, then this is piss easy, you just do things like get drunk and piss in her wardrobe, or leave porn DVDs in the player, or let her overhear you on the phone to all your other birds. If she lives next door, wait until she's home one night and then bang another bird really loudly up against your adjoining wall, while shouting 'THAT'S IT, AUNTY MARGARET, TAKE IT TO THE HILT IN YOUR BACK DOOR YOU FUCKING DIRTY OLD BITCH'. She will be kicking you in the bollocks and telling you to fuck off in no time. Brilliant haha!Unfortunately she has turned out to be a bit like Glenn Close in Fatal attraction.At least I don`t have a rabbit:P She lives in the room next door but we share a kitchen. Well that's even better - take some selfies of you shitting in a saucepan and wanking into her fromage frais, and post them on her Facebook wall. She will be running for the hills before you can say 'can I have one phone call to my brief please' Sadly if she follows the FA model that shit in the saucepan will be turned into your next Bolognese and the Fromage Frais will be her face cream of choice. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RandomCanadian 105 Posted December 2, 2015 Strata AGM tonight - I need a drink. Good grief. The owners don't want to put in the work but they love to criticize the sitting council. What a thankless job. It's kind of like parenting. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RandomCanadian 105 Posted January 2, 2016 I finally dealt with Nana's second husband's ashes yesterday. I've had them for about 12 years; he passed in 1994. A good friend, his wife and I went to BBB's favourite place to scatter the ashes and as I was saying a few words I opened the box only to find the ashes (in a plastic bag) were like a block of concrete. I start laughing so hard they thought I was crying. Being helpful my friend took the box from me, cut the bag open and turned the box over. The ashes fell to the ground and then broke apart. We were all laughing at that point. I intended to be respectful, sometimes it just doesn't work out. If you knew BBB, it was a rather fitting send off. I hope he is happy with his final resting place now that he is no longer stuck in my garage. One down, five to go. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted January 2, 2016 I finally dealt with Nana's second husband's ashes yesterday. I've had them for about 12 years; he passed in 1994. A good friend, his wife and I went to BBB's favourite place to scatter the ashes and as I was saying a few words I opened the box only to find the ashes (in a plastic bag) were like a block of concrete. I start laughing so hard they think I'm crying. Being helpful my friend took the box from me, cut the bag open and turned the box over. The ashes fell to the ground and then broke apart. We were all laughing at that point. I intended to be respectful, sometimes it just doesn't work out. If you knew BBB, it was a rather fitting send off. I hope he is happy with his final resting place now that he is no longer stuck in my garage. One down, five to go. Five????? Did Nana like wedding cake?? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RandomCanadian 105 Posted January 2, 2016 I finally dealt with Nana's second husband's ashes yesterday. I've had them for about 12 years; he passed in 1994. A good friend, his wife and I went to BBB's favourite place to scatter the ashes and as I was saying a few words I opened the box only to find the ashes (in a plastic bag) were like a block of concrete. I start laughing so hard they think I'm crying. Being helpful my friend took the box from me, cut the bag open and turned the box over. The ashes fell to the ground and then broke apart. We were all laughing at that point. I intended to be respectful, sometimes it just doesn't work out. If you knew BBB, it was a rather fitting send off. I hope he is happy with his final resting place now that he is no longer stuck in my garage. One down, five to go. Five????? Did Nana like wedding cake?? Nana was married and widowed twice. I should have clarified, but I am still laughing over yesterday. I still have to deal with: Mum, Nana, Grand-dad, Nannie and Nannie's second husband's ashes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted January 2, 2016 Couldn't do that. Ive not even seen the urn my Dads ashes are in, I think Id die if I did. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RandomCanadian 105 Posted January 2, 2016 Couldn't do that. Ive not even seen the urn my Dads ashes are in, I think Id die if I did. I understand. When Nannie died in 2002 I discovered that neither my mum's or grand-dad's ashes were claimed. Being the dedicated grandchild that I am I decided to take possession of all the ashes (including the second husbands). I told Nana that when she croaked (her estate is paying) I'd finally deal with everyone and now I am. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219 Posted January 2, 2016 That Heath Ledger fella. Was a fucking brilliant actor. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted January 3, 2016 Being from the sticks of Argyll , we didn't have crematoria. Well not since The Reformation. It's 10 years past in December since I attended my one and only burning. What a souless fucking thing. Never again. I want planted when I go, no question. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
