DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

5 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

I could not imagine for a second having to go for a tom tit after you have already been in and warmed the seat Lardy.

As I often tell the man of the house, mine smell of chocolates and roses 

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

1 minute ago, Lard Bazaar said:

As I often tell the man of the house, mine smell of chocolates and roses 

Wanker.

[charon 4,943]

4 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Toilet? 

You mean you stick your arse over the side of the boat and drop your depth charges into the raging sea.

 

Pretty much if you not man enough to drink coffee and smoke ciggies afore work to ensure you're empty :D.

 

 

Its the thought of all you softies that have to employ wummin because you're to proud to put the kettle on lolololololol.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Honestly though, me and me mate would always go in the men’s bogs in the pub because the queue for the ladies was always massive and we drank pints of lager and once you’ve broken the seal you have to go! And there’d be blokes standing at the troughs pissing on their slip-ons while we slopped through the puddles into the one cubicle and the blokes would try and look over the top and me mate would be ready with a punch to their face as it appeared over the door. Oh how I loved being a teenager!

[Deathray 2,940]

@charon Is there not some sort of legal requirement for you to have a bog on board your boats?

[charon 4,943]

46 minutes ago, Deathray said:

@charon Is there not some sort of legal requirement for you to have a bog on board your boats?

 

No.

 

 

I "think" if you 'require' the toilet you may ask to be taken ashore, where there are toilets. Well, a 'thing'.

 

Problem is deathers , a lot of the time if you go in to the shore, you ain't getting back out.

 

And there's other folk out there.......

 

 

Eta I'm not on a fishing boat at the no, but a fish farm. Still a mile from shore, uncovered boats, you get fucking melted if windy. You don't go back out at times.

 

Fishing boats bigger, most old ones don't have toilets. Newer ones have <gasp> showers etc.

[Deathray 2,940]

16 hours ago, charon said:

 

No.

 

 

I "think" if you 'require' the toilet you may ask to be taken ashore, where there are toilets. Well, a 'thing'.

 

Problem is deathers , a lot of the time if you go in to the shore, you ain't getting back out.

 

And there's other folk out there.......

 

 

Eta I'm not on a fishing boat at the no, but a fish farm. Still a mile from shore, uncovered boats, you get fucking melted if windy. You don't go back out at times.

 

Fishing boats bigger, most old ones don't have toilets. Newer ones have <gasp> showers etc.

 

You don't have vacancies do you? 

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

I’m not very well.  I have a UTI and am feeling sick and slightly confused. I might be worth a spot on the list next year. 

[charon 4,943]

1 hour ago, Deathray said:

 

You don't have vacancies do you? 

 

 

Lololol rarely do we not.

 

Started an English guy on Monday. Even in el scorchio and calm, I give him 2 weeks max.

 

Don't think he knew what he getting himself into, but one of these cunts that migrates to a different country then whines his arse off about what Life is actually like.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

40 minutes ago, charon said:

 

 

Lololol rarely do we not.

 

Started an English guy on Monday. Even in el scorchio and calm, I give him 2 weeks max.

 

Don't think he knew what he getting himself into, but one of these cunts that migrates to a different country then whines his arse off about what Life is actually like.

Fuck doing your job for a living.

Respect.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

2 hours ago, Deathray said:

 

You don't have vacancies do you? 

Lets get this straight.

It's the 'fisherman' part of the job that attracts you and not the opportunity to go cottaging in the boats toilets?

[Deathray 2,940]

2 minutes ago, Lord Fellatio Nelson said:

Lets get this straight.

It's the 'fisherman' part of the job that attracts you and not the opportunity to go cottaging in the boats toilets?

 

Mainly the fact I wouldn't have to deal with customers.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

Just now, Deathray said:

 

Mainly the fact I wouldn't have to deal with customers.

I get that totally.

[charon 4,943]

8 minutes ago, Deathray said:

 

Mainly the fact I wouldn't have to deal with customers.

 

 

Believe it or not, that is why I like it.

 

No phones and your only customers are the fish.

 

And you get to kill them

 

At the moment I'm just about done killing out a site, so tomorrow I jump in a boat at 7am and will personally wrestle at least 1,300 fish, which will average 7kg and don't want to be killed.

 

Fuck. Them.

 

They going down.

 

 

* at 7kg average, that means some 12/14 kg ones, ie 30lbs approaching. And they take repeated blows to bonce.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

Anybody come across a courteous ' i had best pull over asap to let the 6 miles of traffic stacking up behind me pass...' Tractor driver?

No, nor me.

Utter rat faced cuntweasels, the lot of em.

[runebomme 377]

19 hours ago, charon said:

 

 

Believe it or not, that is why I like it.

 

No phones and your only customers are the fish.

 

And you get to kill them

 

At the moment I'm just about done killing out a site, so tomorrow I jump in a boat at 7am and will personally wrestle at least 1,300 fish, which will average 7kg and don't want to be killed.

 

Fuck. Them.

 

They going down.

 

 

* at 7kg average, that means some 12/14 kg ones, ie 30lbs approaching. And they take repeated blows to bonce.

Salmon?

 

Norway?

[charon 4,943]

No. Scotchland.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

You ever killed a conger eel Charon? I got in a fight with one a while ago and thought I was going to lose at one point. Delicious though. 

[charon 4,943]

Aye.

 

But never ate it. Don't really like seafood

 

Get them in the creels on occasion. Vicious bastards.

 

 

* I have never eaten lobster, and give them away.

[CarolAnn 926]

1 hour ago, charon said:

 

* I have never eaten lobster, and give them away.

 

Booking a flight. 

[Deathray 2,940]

It doesn't matter how shit you feel (and lord knows I do but let's not go into that), it's good to know there's always a new mumsnet thread to discover and cheer you up. What sort of person thinks to complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,219]

6 minutes ago, Deathray said:

It doesn't matter how shit you feel (and lord knows I do but let's not go into that), it's good to know there's always a new mumsnet thread to discover and cheer you up. What sort of person thinks to complain to the zoo about the wanking monkeys?

That's a good spoof post.

I think some of them would fit in perfectly on here.

 

[Boudicca 702]

Zombie thread from August 2016. I hope it's been bumped or I'd be a bit worried about what you were googling when you found it 

[Toast 16,144]

7 minutes ago, Boudicca said:

Zombie thread from August 2016. I hope it's been bumped or I'd be a bit worried about what you were googling when you found it 

 

He'll have been trying to find LFN's old avatars.

[Boudicca 702]

I was just thinking that. Last post in 2017 I see.

 

Sorry to hear you're feeling bad Deathray. I take it back. No worries at all. That sort of search term would probably cheer me up too.