TQR 14,352 Posted March 2, 2018 3 hours ago, Heef said: Speaking of Basildon, it's the only place I've been in the world where I've turned up to see what's going on in the town centre to find some kind of curfew going on. Most bizarre wandering around a town centre in the UK at 7pm at night and literally no one being around. No idea what was going on. Decided to have a night out at some kind of social club in Pitsea instead and passed an evening having a few yarns with some people celebrating a 60th Wedding Anniversary who were surprisingly cogent and didn't once say 'Oi, oi, saveloy', which was a refreshing change to my previous experiences of Southern Essex (yes, I'm looking at you Romford). Ah, that'll be because even the Basildonians have noticed how much of a toilet the town centre is now. Pound shop, Pound shop, 99p shop, Closed shop, Buffet restaurant, Another closed shop, Pound shop, Toys R Us, Burned down shop, Primark, Pound shop. Even the centrepiece mother & baby statue is cack. By 7pm, everyone'll be down the road in Festival Leisure, spilling drinks on the small pool tables in Hollywood Bowl before piling into Unit 7 nightclub and getting glassed by a fucking scrawny crack dealing Woodlands School dropout. And as for Shitsea... (Yes, I only live about 10 mins away from Bas) 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Heef 166 Posted March 2, 2018 The time I was there was probably about 20 years ago; back when the Eastgate world of better shopping was something supposedly impressive. Reminded me that a friend had an altercation with a sachet of ketchup in a Wimpy in Basildon and spattered it all over the walls. Improved the decor no end! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boudicca 702 Posted March 2, 2018 Wickford or Billericay? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,352 Posted March 2, 2018 Ah yes, Wimpy in the bus station. That ketchup's probably still there. 1 hour ago, Boudicca said: Wickford or Billericay? The latter. For my sins. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boudicca 702 Posted March 2, 2018 I'll invite myself in for coffee next time I go to Waitrose. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handrejka 1,903 Posted March 2, 2018 On 28/02/2018 at 21:56, Heef said: This thread reminds me of one of my favourite forum topics. Shittest towns of the United Kingdom. When I lived over there, in order to see as much of the country as possible, the missus and I would undertake regular road trips. This involved randomly selecting some town on the map of the UK and then planning a route to that town avoiding all motorways and being obliged to stop in any town that the route went through. As such, a trip to Abergavenny included such places as Daventry, Rugby, Redditch, Evesham, Pershore, Worcester, Hereford, Ross-on-Wye and Monmouth. Oh, what delights could we find in such evocative places as Stevenage or Braintree. As I recall, we even waded into a curfew in some concrete shit-hole called Basildon. Anyway, I came to the conclusion that Portsmouth was the shittest of shitholes. Vast amounts of concrete. Yep. People that looked as if the only way is Kappa. Yep. A deep foreboding that someone's going to stab you for looking vaguely lost. Yep. A deep seated hatred of the next town for no obvious reason. Yep. The only selling point of the town being something not into the town (Go to Portsmouth they said. Visit the shopping centre at GunWharf Quays they said. Well, if your only selling point is a shopping centre not in the centre, then you're out of home - c.f. Braintree, Clacton). Getting lost in an industrial area in Widnes/St. Helens was reasonably close, but I still think Portsmouth was worse. Ah that's my part of the world. St Helens is grim as fuck. Widnes has one huge redeeming feature in that it isn't St Helens, actually make that two, it isn't Runcorn either. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,063 Posted March 2, 2018 Just saw this on Facebook. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,397 Posted March 2, 2018 11 minutes ago, Toast said: Just saw this on Facebook. Well I'm not arguing with Facebook AND John Betjeman here... Come friendly bombs and fall on Slough It isn't fit for humans now. 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bentrovato 1,084 Posted March 2, 2018 Kettering and Wellingborough and Corby. Everywhere else in comparison is nice. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Exu 250 Posted March 2, 2018 On 01/03/2018 at 01:02, Heef said: Honourable mention to the Coventry ring road though. Shittiest, most dangerous bit of road I've ever seen. Exits are so close together that those leaving at the next are merging with the traffic joining from the last. Plus the local scallies loved taking air rifle shots from the overbridges. Yes, it’s a bloody nightmare. Last time I was on it they were knocking bits of itdown(either that or it was just falling down). probably the worst town in the country is Hednesford ( an old mining community next to Cannock). A shame as my parents were born there ( but had the sense to move away as soon as they got married) and I support the local footie team. The area is run down, rough and a bit squalid. It’s likegoing back fifty years . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,397 Posted March 2, 2018 Anyone mentioned Cumbernauld yet? If not, I will. So soulless, it feels like a left over set from a George Romero flick. The only way to escape its road system is to pray you roll a double six. Here's the town centre. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
charon 4,943 Posted March 2, 2018 Fails under the old 'England' part there chief. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoverAndOut 4,726 Posted March 2, 2018 39 minutes ago, msc said: Anyone mentioned Cumbernauld yet? If not, I will. So soulless, it feels like a left over set from a George Romero flick. The only way to escape its road system is to pray you roll a double six. Here's the town centre. I thought you were joking...until I looked it up. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,397 Posted March 2, 2018 1 minute ago, RoverAndOut said: I thought you were joking...until I looked it up. Middle of the last decade, I had the great idea to arrange a lift up to Aberdeen to watch Thistle play, by jumping in a minibus with a bunch of folk I'd never met in my life. And yet I'm still alive. Anyhow, Thistle won (in itself a shocking event) and a lot of booze was drunk on that bus on the way back - after a lengthy pitstop for dinner/drinks in a pub in some random village I can't mind the name of. So we get to Cumbernauld at stupid o'clock, and for some reason - to drop someone off, I think - bus goes off the motorway into Cumbernauld itself. Round one roundabout, and another, and even that it was bloody dark and I was a bit pissed, I was getting a sense of deja vu the third time we passed the same fucking roundabout. Basically, if you take the wrong route, there's a section of roundabouts which all lead back to each other like an Escher painting. Driver was getting pissed off and at the fourth time of asking took a sharp turn and wound up going in the wrong direction. So had to turn the bus round.. back into Cumbernauld. This is how I wound up spending TWO HOURS in that town. And all the booze had been drunk by then, too. 1 3 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
RoverAndOut 4,726 Posted March 2, 2018 25 minutes ago, msc said: This is how I wound up spending TWO HOURS in that town. And all the booze had been drunk by then, too. So...you've never actually been in the all-in-one town centre? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,397 Posted March 2, 2018 26 minutes ago, RoverAndOut said: So...you've never actually been in the all-in-one town centre? No, just around it (and around, and around...)... people who do actually go there (the land of concrete centre) don't come back... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,063 Posted March 2, 2018 All this makes Didcot seem positively paradisiacal. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,509 Posted March 5, 2018 On 02/03/2018 at 21:32, Bentrovato said: Kettering and Wellingborough and Corby. Everywhere else in comparison is nice. Are you a local or close by. I work in Kettering. Northampton isn't great either. A place I really dislike is Cheltenham lived there for 6 years. Horrible place. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bentrovato 1,084 Posted March 5, 2018 7 hours ago, Bibliogryphon said: Are you a local or close by. I work in Kettering. Northampton isn't great either. A place I really dislike is Cheltenham lived there for 6 years. Horrible place. Lived in all three for some time some years ago. Wellingborough is the only place I have lived that had a curfew on the centre of town. Began at 7pm but I did not know it had been put in place. Went into a pub and ordered a pint. The landlord served me and then said I had about 15 minutes to neck it and get out of dodge. Tosser. I think Northampton used a have a curfew as well. Some years ago again. But Corby, Kettering and Wellingborough make up the Bermuda Triangle of the Midlands. There are a lot of lost souls knocking around there. But the bass player from Mungo Jerry lived in Kettering. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handrejka 1,903 Posted March 5, 2018 9 hours ago, Bibliogryphon said: Are you a local or close by. I work in Kettering. Northampton isn't great either. A place I really dislike is Cheltenham lived there for 6 years. Horrible place. I went to Kettering many years ago to visit an old school friend who'd moved there and I actually quite liked it. However I had just spent 7 months living in Runcorn and working in Fflint. 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Heef 166 Posted March 5, 2018 The nominations of Northampton and Kettering seem unduly harsh. Had a few nights out in Northampton and never feared for your safety or sanity in quite the same way as places like Romford, Dalston or a number of other dead end towns. I mean, at least in Northampton there's something to do... Not so Cannock. I am intrigued by the concept of a town curfew. As I mentioned earlier, I experienced a curfew in Basildon. Seems like it wasn't a unique experience. Why and how does a town decide to implement a curfew? Well, the 'why' might be obvious with some of these places. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handrejka 1,903 Posted March 5, 2018 10 minutes ago, Heef said: The nominations of Northampton and Kettering seem unduly harsh. Had a few nights out in Northampton and never feared for your safety or sanity in quite the same way as places like Romford, Dalston or a number of other dead end towns. I mean, at least in Northampton there's something to do... Not so Cannock. I am intrigued by the concept of a town curfew. As I mentioned earlier, I experienced a curfew in Basildon. Seems like it wasn't a unique experience. Why and how does a town decide to implement a curfew? Well, the 'why' might be obvious with some of these places. The only time I've ever heard of a curfew in St Helens is when there is a traveller funeral and businesses are advised to close while it's going on so the pikeys don't knock seven shades of shit out of anyone not complying to avoid trouble/upsetting the traveller community. When I read about your experience in Basildon I thought it must be the same but if it's a regular thing then I don't know. Nothing like that ever happens on Isle of Man. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Boudicca 702 Posted March 5, 2018 Aw don't be like that now, they're just dacent Irish people letting their hair down a bit after mass. Demolishing a Lidl for example: //www.irishpost.co.uk/news/5-cars-found-burnt-tallaght-following-demolition-lidl-150727 That and other trivial similar minor infractions are a very healthy response to it. Honestly. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,509 Posted March 6, 2018 11 hours ago, Handrejka said: The only time I've ever heard of a curfew in St Helens is when there is a traveller funeral and businesses are advised to close while it's going on so the pikeys don't knock seven shades of shit out of anyone not complying to avoid trouble/upsetting the traveller community. When I read about your experience in Basildon I thought it must be the same but if it's a regular thing then I don't know. Nothing like that ever happens on Isle of Man. The same happens in Kettering the pubs close on days of traveller funerals or face involuntary redecoration. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
gcreptile 10,939 Posted March 7, 2018 Apparently, the places with the shortest period of healthy life in the UK are Blackpool and Middlesbrough: http://www.bbc.com/news/health-43317918 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
