Deathrace 2019

[Death Impends 7,953]

My own squad of topplers has been sent forward. Though at the rate my Deathrace shortlist has been dropping fully expect another name or two to jump the gun!

[maryportfuncity 10,630]

Death Slam Form Guide #35

 

 

Sri Sri Shivakkumara Swamiji

 

The devout and spiritual one and his many followers are doubtless so busy with their own matters that they've missed our ghoulish and altogether earthly fascination with the man and his abilities to generate instant Deathrace action. It's doubtful if any religious tract promising reincarnation stops to consider the potential dead pooling wank fast that may attend the end of a specific life, but if it did the events of the next 24 hours might get a mention. All that remains to be seen is whether the man makes the start line. MPFC is hoping he does given the tonnage of re-calibration and subs bench clearing that would attend his premature death.

[gcreptile 10,963]

Team sent, good luck everyone!

[Death Impends 7,953]

19 minutes ago, Death Impends said:

My own squad of topplers has been sent forward. Though at the rate my Deathrace shortlist has been dropping fully expect another name or two to jump the gun!

 

With Kader Khan's death the prophecy was fulfilled within twenty minutes!

[maryportfuncity 10,630]

4 minutes ago, Death Impends said:

 

With Kader Khan's death the prophecy was fulfilled within twenty minutes!

 

 

Fuck - five subs waving from the touchline, then - on it

[Sir Creep 7,070]

When did that bastard die?  I didn't see an obit.  All I've been doing is clicking links all day lol
Well fuck, he must have died within 5 minutes of me sending in my team.  I posted two lame subs, but at least I'm covered.  
I Khan overcome this

[Deathray 2,940]

1 minute ago, Sir Creep said:

When did that bastard die?  I didn't see an obit.  All I've been doing is clicking links all day lol
Well fuck, he must have died within 5 minutes of me sending in my team

 

He's not dead.

 

https://www.indiatoday.in/movies/celebrities/story/kader-khan-is-in-hospital-son-dismisses-reports-of-his-death-1420264-2018-12-31

 

https://indianexpress.com/article/entertainment/bollywood/kader-khan-death-rumours-son-sarfaraz-5516355/

 

 

 

[Sir Creep 7,070]

Good cuz he will die inside of a week, and my incredible team can't have holes punched in it.  I want this thing won inside of 15 days.    

[Death Impends 7,953]

Yeah mea culpa there, thought the reports of deaths were the real deal before his son refuted like another hour later.

[Sir Creep 7,070]

His son is a DP tease.  I bet he plays.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Mary, I sent you a PM about half hour ago, I hope you got it as it’s the winning team

[msc 18,429]

15 minutes ago, Sir Creep said:

Good cuz he will die inside of a week, and my incredible team can't have holes punched in it.  I want this thing won inside of 15 days.    

 

I think you'll find the Champ is in, and you'll have to grab the title from his cold dead hands, as dementia-ridden Heston once said.

 

Nobody has retained the Deathrace, until 2019 naturally!

 

 

 

 

Nah, I'm just happy to take part, I just felt like joining in the trash talking for LOLs.

[maryportfuncity 10,630]

8 hours ago, Lard Bazaar said:

Mary, I sent you a PM about half hour ago, I hope you got it as it’s the winning team

 

 

Just finishing up the masterlist now - Mrs MPC and The Voice of Young Maryport having headed off for panto fun.

 

Speaking of which - Khan's demise was summat of a panto, eh - even enjoyed a YouTube tribute video to him last night.

[maryportfuncity 10,630]

So a heads up on the state of play

 

38 teams in and entered on the masterlist with enough variety and obscurity in the picks that I guarantee you there's LOADS of names on there about whom I could tell you nowt. All entrants already listed on page one of this thread.

 

I'll load the masterlist sometime tomorrow morning

 

I'd suggest we're all vigilant from here on in. Just guessing re the picks I don't recognise but local/trade press is likely to be the maknig or breaking of some chances this year because we're clearly awash with totterers who exist somewhere on the marginal side of cult heroes and a few others doing the doe eyed tragic routine for the benefit of their local media.

 

Last time I looked Khan and Shivakkumara Swamiji were still around (and I'll declare a personal interest in them holding a pulse until at least 12-01 1 January) but I wouldn't be surprised if someone on the masterlist carked before the starting gun.

 

What I'm saying here is that the 2019 Deathrace more than any other is likely to rely on a lively thread with all of us clocking and sharing evidence of q/o at the usual low-hanging Deathrace standard and sharing it. Once we've declared a winner we don't over-turn it even if it takes the Church Times two weeks to present evidence your friendly local canon carked ahead of the deadline and could've gifted the generous prize your way.

 

My guess - for what it's worth - is that we'll deliver on the annual fast and furious promise once we're underway.

 

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Thanks for your efforts Mary! 

[maryportfuncity 10,630]

2 minutes ago, Lard Bazaar said:

Thanks for your efforts Mary! 

 

 

No probs - incidentally, you were the last entry and amazed me with how many unique picks you bagged. But all that'll become clear in a day's time

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

4 minutes ago, maryportfuncity said:

 

 

No probs - incidentally, you were the last entry and amazed me with how many unique picks you bagged. But all that'll become clear in a day's time

Well let’s hope some of them have the decency to come up Trumps!

[Deathray 2,940]

 

38 teams! Jeesh I was 2 out in that PM guess I sent you (calculated yesterday it'd be a 40 team Deathrace), good luck with the backroom stuff tonight you'll need it....

 

Given the incredibly low barrier of entry for this I'll emphasise mpfc's post above in plainer English;

 

"you'd never heard of your pick until a week ago, so why the fuck do you expect us to notice their death? Check the local rags you found the cancer mums on your team in yourself and let everybody know they're dead or you won't get the points!".

[maryportfuncity 10,630]

Reet

 

Bailing out for the festivities having duly de-Lusked the masterlist. In the interests of honesty I'll cop that we might have one late pick

 

Mark4b having offered no subs and lacking Lusk from his starting line up. A message has been sent seeking a sub and if we can't get one in time I'm offering a default of the totterer below (seems fair enough). I mean, like any decent sub - he's sinking fast (arf!!)

 

Tomorrow morning (or whenever I finally surface) we Khan do it

 

[Torva Messor 277]

All my substitutes are deployed. May I refill my substitutes list before 20h00 31 Dec UTC?

[maryportfuncity 10,630]

1 minute ago, Torva Messor said:

All my substitutes are deployed. May I refill my substitutes list before 20h00 31 Dec UTC?

 

 

Yeah, a couple would be fine and dandy.

[Torva Messor 277]

substitutes submitted via PM, with gratitude. Happy New Year!

[maryportfuncity 10,630]

Fair play to Mark4 - he's opted for Olivia de Havilland as last minute sub.

[Sir Creep 7,070]

Are we set then -- are all entries closed?

 

[Deathray 2,940]

20 minutes ago, Sir Creep said:

Are we set then -- are all entries closed?

 

 

Entries for the Deathrace always close on the 30th. More than one member has been caught out by that.

 

Gives mpfc time to get everything in order before going live so to speak tomorrow.