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The Grand National has been won. What I would really like to do now is beat the shit out of the winning Jockey the way he beat the shit out of the Horse on the run in to get to the winning post first. The Cunt.

GS is probably gonna win DDP. Now more than ever.

Aye, they'd be Drop 40 candidates these days, I think. Hmm, noticed we've had 3 big DDP hits in the last two 10th Aprils. Lauren Hill (and her 24 point jokers), Richie Benaud and Howard Marks. I wonder if there will be a 4th in 3 years on Monday.

Weird to think five years ago Stynes and Gary Carter were the big DDP obit punts yet in today's UK media landscape they'd not only be no-brainers for Mail coverage at the minimum, but the Mail would probably signal that ahead of time by reporting on their ill health!

I decided to compile a list of when teams reached 100 points. Obviously, 2017 will shake this up a bit. 1) March 11th (Golden Slumbers - 2017) =2) March 31st (The Living End - 2016) =2) March 31st (Thomas Jefferson Survives - 2016) 4) April 10th (David Quantick's Showbiz Pals - 2016) 5) April 13th (Golden Slumbers - 2016) =6) April 28th (Heading Nowhere - 2016) =6) April 28th (Pan Breed - 2016) =8) June 3rd (Cancerous Hatred - 2016) =8) June 3rd (DDP Tofoa - 2016) 10) June 11th (Octopus of Odstock - 2013) 11) June 18th (The Living End - 2011) 12) July 8th (Deceased Hose - 2016) =13) July 16th (Buckets O Blood - 2016) =13) July 16th (Poochie Died On The Way Back To His Home Planet - 2016) =13) July 16th (The Love Boat - 2016) 16) July 23rd (Crossing The Styx - 2016) 17) August 16th (The Living End - 2008) 18) September 24th (Tonight Matthew I'm Going To Be Badly-Torn Boy - 2009) 19) October 10th (Meet Your Maker - 2007) 20) October 24th (David Quantick's Showbiz Pals - 2014) 21) November 15th (Master Mind - 2009) 22) November 22nd (The Living End - 2012) 23) November 30th (STAB_in_the_DARK - 2007) 24) December 5th (David Quantick's Showbiz Pals - 2013) =25) December 18th (Crossing The Styx - 2013) =25) December 18th (Tonight Matthew, I'm Going To Be Badly-Torn Boy - 2016) 27) December 24th (Godot's Waiting List - 2008)

Apt, though.

April variant then. 8th March to 8th April On this day (using only the final contenders per year...) 2016 DDT 106 Death Impends 102 Spade Cooley 94 Pan Breed 89 Heading Nowhere 88 Bert 84 So many deaths in March 2016... So many in fact, that my Maths skills start to struggle, and produced 3 different scores for DI! 2015 Death Impends 55 Spade Cooley 40 DDT 34 2014 Spade Cooley 41 DDT 22 Drunkasaskunk 30 Only change here (apart from the Glasgow chap’s Vernita Gray unique) is my fixing a maths error in Spade’s total from last month. 2013 OoO 83 DDT 75 Death Impends 73 Crossing the Styx 65 Spade Cooley 46 This Mortail Coil 45 The debonair gentleman spy of the Deathlist forums was being heavily chased by the local undertaker and a future admin. Spade was doing far better but needed some obscure Millwall guy to die in May and obit, and the odds of that were very low indeed. And yes, I know, Jack Pardee didn’t obit till months later. Like I’d remember to retro-add that later... 2012 DDT 60 ‘arry-Kiri 45 OoO 41 Spade Cooley 33 Norfolk and Good 21 I did note Jim Stynes health in 2012 but never picked him as I was unsure about a QO. Anyhow, the ten points he gave out on death helped DDT, as did nabbing another 10 for a unique on Bert Sugar. One of the more surprising unique hits in DDP history, that, or am I just showing my genre bias? Although, obviously I never picked him either. Jock Hobbs (9 points) and Miguel de la Madrid (7 points) also added to a firm charge by the Devonian lord of darkness... 2011 DDT 52 As it says... 2010 If I’m Spared Myself of Course 31 Canadian Paul 23 Tonight Matthew 22 ‘arry-Kiri 17 DDT 16 Rot in Hell John 15 Impaled on the Antlers 15 Banshees 14 OoO 14 Toast might not have lead the actual table at this point, but she leads the 2010 contenders table at this point, because nothing happened in the previous month. The most exciting thing to happen in March 2010 was Harry Carpenter falling down some stairs (a unique pick by some randomer), and and someone shot Eugene Terreblanche. The latter of which I found out on the day we paid for the venue for my wedding! 2009 Heaven Knows They’re Miserable Now – 61 DDT – 55 No Noose is Good Noose – 49 Tonight Matthew 31 Banshees 29 Impaled on the Antlers – 19 Noose picked up 16 points on a shot warlord. Ja(n)e Goody was an early miss for HKTMN, and a gain for Tonight Matthew. DDT missed out on Ms. Goody too... 2008 Godot’s Waiting List 70 DDT 68 The Man in Black 63 Canadian Paul 37 Banshees 34 Wormer 26 TMIB still within touching distance thanks to Charlton Heston. Only Richard Widmark separates Godot and DDT...

Actually we all knew that about her. What's this to do with Macnee? I read (quickly) that whole link and dammit if I missed the connection. Ah well... SC

Soviet Cosmonaut and Hero of URSS Georgy Grechko has died aged 85, of heart failure after suffering serious illnesses for years. Oh, Sir Creep is back. He won't like the Russian link...

Like Laura Nyro, Elisha Otis also died this day at age 49. His was 1861 - 155 years ago - and being the inventor of the elevator, his life was full of ups and downs. SC (Edit: BAH my math skills are askew, Mr. Otis is 156 years. Well -- I needed to work in the 49 year old angle anyway lol)

Britney's back, bitch! I'll send my list by the end of the day. Edit: I don't want to post another one so I'll just do it in this one.... 350 points 500 - Gisele Casadesus 450 - Eric Clapton 400 - Jimmy Lydon 350 - June Foray 300 - Nanette Fabray 275 - Janis Paige 250 - Irene Papas 225 - Ed Asner 200 - Claire Bloom 180 - Barbara Eden 160 - Michael Caine 140 - Maggie Smith 120 - Diana Ross 100 - Ozzy Osbourne 85 - Billy Idol 70 - Bobby Brown 55 - Charlie Sheen 50 - Frankie Valli 45 - Jeff Bridges 40 - Nick Nolte Sub: 21 - Sly Stone 22 - Mary Higgins Clark 23 - Iris Apfel

Laura Nyro stopped singing on this day 20 years ago, aged 49.

He's been in his relationship for 40 years, so I suspect he's pretty sure about it.

Carrie's back. Her family have given permission to use footage of her in Star Wars 9: http://www.nydailynews.com/entertainment/late-carrie-fisher-final-star-wars-movie-article-1.3030154

Well, I still think he's better than Hillary. Having chosen him will delay WWIII by two months at least.

Off-piste tip here: Fin Martin, longtime editor of PowerSlam Magazine (the UK's foremost/only pro-wres publication throughout the 90s and 00s) has announced he will no longer be writing about wrestling any more full stop. One of the reasons the magazine ceased publication (back in 2014 iirc) was a battle he was having with skin cancer at the time. He'd almost certainly sneak an obit in the Mirror if he died.

Today in North Central Texas it is cool and windy. It should be in the mid 70s - low 80s for the foreseeable future. Our next chance for tornado outbreaks is Monday. This is not taking the red headed tornado who is my grandson into account - he will be whirling at my house this weekend.