maryportfuncity 10,662 Posted October 31 It's fast, it's furious it's f***in' good fun. Teams of 20 topplers posted on this thread or PM'd to MPFC will be collected into a masterlist to provide a carnival of carnage, the counting of which goes live in the first second of 2025. Points aplenty pour into the scoreboard until someone snags the stupendous total of 2024, at which point the event that used to be the fastest deadpool in common useage (until MPFC started something faster!) slams on the brakes and the lucky winner is duly given metaphorical back-slaps and allowed to claim a prize worth about a tenner (though tradition thus far dictates this turns into a charitable donation). Closing date for entries is midnight on 30 December 2024. All ably MC'd by a nonagenarian knocking on 95 (20 January) who has stoutly resisted the pressures applied by the Deathlist committee to cash in his chips. Will he offer Deathlist points, or disappointment? Either way, nice teeth Buzz! In it to win it this year are... Bibliogryphon - bg Top talent aplenty in our list of previous champions: 2009 - Raskolnikov 2010 - Nobody, I mean f***in' nobody, reached the winning points total 2011 - DDT 2012 - Spade Cooley 2013 - DDT 2014 - Death Impends 2015 - MSC 2016 - DDT 2017 - Death Impends 2018 - MSC 2019 - Phantom of the Midway 2020 - RadGuy 2021 - An Fear Beag 2022 - Banana 2023 - Banana 2024 - Banana Small print - I'm buried in work currently and seriously considered canning this responsibility, but we'll give it one more go at least. That said, tardy entries, rule transgressions and the like might well be less tolerated this year. In other words, if you post a team with no joker, I might not chase I'll just put the first place pick in as joker etc. 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,662 Posted October 31 This'll be the list of the lost, then. Currently presided (heh heh) over by someone who lost in 1980, two people are vying for the honour of replacing him on 6 November! And, let's have a look at the old scoreboard! 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,662 Posted October 31 The tonnage of talent, the mass of imminent mortality, the deluge of the due to decease, the plethora of potential pushing daisies it'll be.... The Masterlist! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,662 Posted October 31 What's that Nads, they've forgotten you already, anything to put you back in the public eye will do? Even four rungs down the Deathrace pecking order from last year's MCing position? You do get there's no money to managing the rules, right? I mean, obviously, every once in a while we'll get a brew on and throw in some chocolate biscuits. But bring your own mug (once he's stopped promoting his new autobiography!) Deathrace 2025 - Those Rules in Full: 1 - The object of the Deathrace is to be the first contestant to reach 2025 points. 2 - To enter the Deathrace a contestant must have: i: a team of twenty topplers and a minimum of two subs ("topplers" must be at least 18 years old on 1 Jan 2025; but are otherwise unrestricted). ii: Deathlist membership (i.e. be at least a pointless ranter and at most a dedicated Cumbrian corpse hound, or summat) 2a: A player may enter as many team members facing execution as s/he wants but said picks will only count for deathrace points if they die by means other than state execution - murder, suicide, ill health etc. 3 - Entries close promptly at midnight on 30 December 2024 and entry can be made either by sending a team of twenty to MPFC via PM hereabouts and/or by posting a team of twenty on the Deathrace 2025 thread. 3a: Once a team has entered in the manner described above the line-up can’t be changed for any other reason than the death of a team member before the start of the competition. In the event of a team being short of members because of more deaths than available subs MPFC will negotiate last minute changes with the team manager. 4 - Players score points every time a team member dies and accrues an obit (see point 9 below) and the score for each death is calculated as one point for each complete calendar day remaining in 2025 after the death of the team member; so a death on 1 January earns 364 pts, a death on 2 January earns 363 pts etc. 5 - Each team must nominate one member as a joker and the joker scores double points on death. Any team submitted without a clearly nominated joker will be allotted said joker on the basis of the name at the top of the team sheet being so designated. 6 - The winner is the first player to reach or exceed 2025 pts. 7 - In the event that a death or deaths on a specific day push more than one player beyond a winning score the player with the highest overall score will be deemed to be the winner. 8 - In the event that two or more players tie for victory a Deathrace play off will ensue with all potential winners continuing to compete until such time as one potential winner scores more points than any other potential winner (such points continuing to be accrued as per the scoring system described in point 4 above). 9 - An "obit" in the context of the Deathrace is any news report in English from a reliable source. Such sources include - but are not limited to - UK national press, UK national broadcast organisations, foreign press and broadcast organisations with an English language thread to their communication, trade press in English, local news organisations reporting in English and coverage in specialist online sites, such as those monitoring the well-being of super-centenarians. Where dispute arises over the qualifying nature of a news source for obit purposes MPFC's decision is final. But he wants fast and furious competition and is generally very amenable to low hanging dead pool fruit of all varieties. 10 - To qualify for entry purposes team members must be alive at 00-01 hrs on 1 January 2025 or qualify for the Raymond Hewlitt Memorial Exemption (RHME) (see point 11). 11 - In honour of everybody's favourite Maddie-implicated paedo scum a candidate widely believed to be alive on 1 January and subsequently proven to have died previously will be awarded 365 points in the event that a Deathrace qualifying obit subsequently appears for said candidate. In the event that a Deathrace qualifying obit for the candidate is subsequently proven to have existed prior to commencement of the Deathrace all points will be voided. RHME points are only available during competition and in the event that a winner has been declared before discovery of a qualifyiing RHME candidate no revision of the final result will occur. Similarly, if some lucky candidate is awarded RHME points and these points are still in play at the time a winner is declared the points will not subsequently be voided and may - therefore - count towards a championship. All disputes relating to RHME will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opionion are warmly invited to liven up the Deathrace thread by venting their fury). 11a - Similarly to pt 11 above, if an obited death occurs during play of the Deathrace and is missed despite MPFC's best efforts to stay in touch and/or the spirited efforts of Deathrace participants, and said death is missed in totting up points, after which a winner is declared, then this death will not count for competition purposes. The same is true in the case of a known death gathering a late obit and therefore allowing some other competitor to be declared a winner. Traditionally a period of around a day is allowed after a proven winning score has been attained before formal declaration of a winner to allow for the contingencies covered by rule 11a. All disputes relating to rule 11a will be resolved by the astute judgement of MPFC and there is no appeals procedure (though all sides of opionion are warmly invited to liven up the Deathrace thread by venting their fury). 12 - In the event that Deathlist editing options or other online trickery is discovered to have been employed in the editing of teams, those duly fingered for such cheating will be removed from the Deathrace and banned for life from subsequent entry into Deathraces. 13 - The prize will be awarded as follows: i: Should the winner agree to attend a DLCon with MPFC a double measure of alcholic drinks (pints, wine or spirits) will be supplied by MPFC along with much hearty congratulations and back-slapping. ii: A carefully chosen and appropriate prize will be posted to the winner (such as the DVD copy of the original Deathrace movie supplied to the 2009 champion). iii: MPFC will make a charitable donation to a cause of the winner's choice (as has been the case with all but one winnings of the Deathrace). This course of action is highly encouraged and is known to show dead poolers as something other than the sicko scum many ranters believe us to be. AND FINALLY... A masterlist of entries will be posted after the closing date. MPFC will undertake to update the scoreboard at least once every seven days - typically much more frequently than that. On completion of Deathrace activities the thread will get lively for a short while as losing contestants and spectators offer well-deserved congratulations to the skillful and highly talented new champion, after which time it is expected that the cooling corpse of the thread will be allowed to gently sink into oblivion. In summary: It's fast, it's furious it's f***in' good fun. Teams of 20 topplers posted on this thread or PM'd to MPFC will be collected into a masterlist to provide a carnival of carnage, the counting of which goes live in the first second of 2025. Points aplenty pour into the scoreboard until someone snags the stupendous total of 2025, at which point the event that used to be the fastest deadpool in common useage (until MPFC started something faster!) slams on the brakes and the lucky winner is duly given metaphorical back-slaps and allowed to claim a prize worth about a tenner (though tradition thus far dictates this turns into a charitable donation)*. Closing date for entries is midnight on 30 December 2024. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,662 Posted October 31 Deathrace Form Guide #1 Jimmy Carter Yer man has form alright, consistent form defying the best predictions concerning the date of his demise. He hung on to see 100 years old, a first for any former US president and is - apparently - hanging on to vote for Harris, and likely to wake up and see if it helped (Georgia is a key swing state) to bring about another Democrat president. Such tenacity is admirable and may just allow him to hang on for Christmas, and New Year. But another big question facing humanity is where the local stray flying insects will go once Carter's unfit to be wheeled around with his gob open. Popular beyond all reason with dead poolers, enjoying higher poll ratings with us than his political career ever saw. A fitting form guide first place for 2025, then! 6 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Summer in Transylvania 2,193 Posted October 31 Deathrace Form Guide #2 Pedro Pablo Kuczynski Since the death of Fujimori, there may just be a gap the size of a disgraced former President of Peru in your list. If so, look no further than 86-year old Pedro Pablo Kuczynski, the cousin of former DL pick Jean-Luc Godard, who, true to his role, has seen a number of trial-induced hospitalisations over the last few years. With a few months where anything can happen still to go, he may be Peruvian very popular among Death Poolers come January. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Bibliogryphon 9,597 Posted October 31 As always I have committed early but with a big subs pool Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Captain Hemlock 745 Posted October 31 Deathrace Form Guide #3 Matthew Sweet 1991 was a pivotal year in American music. From Metallica’s breakthrough black album to the grunge triumvirate of Nirvana’s Nevermind, Pearl Jam’s Ten, and Soundgarden’s Badmotorfinger putting Seattle on the musical map. Oh, and Guns N Roses using their illusions not once but twice. Lost in this shuffle was the power pop masterpiece of Matthew Sweet’s Girlfriend. The title track possessed rich harmonies, slightly sarcastic lyrics and Robert Quine’s manic guitar solo. Sadly, Mr. Sweet was stricken with a massive stroke while on tour, in Toronto, in October. Apparently, the combination of an overweight musician being in the land of poutine, back bacon, Tim Hortons and Swiss Chalet was too much for his 60 year old body. Ironically, the original title of the album was supposed to be “Nothing Lasts”, but this was objected to by the person in the cover photo, Tuesday Weld (herself a possible Form Guide contestant). Will 2025 prove to be the year it won’t last for Mr. Sweet? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,662 Posted October 31 23 minutes ago, Bibliogryphon said: As always I have committed early but with a big subs pool Appreciate that, spreadsheet underway! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,662 Posted October 31 Deathrace Form Guide #4 Jim Sillars Outed elsewhere hereabouts as an oldster who now doesn't recall what he's on about, and obitable on the back of a lifetime of politics. 87-year-old Jim was a notable no show for the funeral of Alex Salmond, will he show up for any Deathrace managers before we've declared a winner? 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
msc 18,491 Posted October 31 33 minutes ago, maryportfuncity said: Deathrace Form Guide #4 Jim Sillars Outed elsewhere hereabouts as an oldster who now doesn't recall what he's on about, and obitable on the back of a lifetime of politics. 87-year-old Jim was a notable no show for the funeral of Alex Salmond, will he show up for any Deathrace managers before we've declared a winner? Ah well, one of my favourite Sillars stories is from the Indy Ref when he'd made some controversial comments on the TV about iirc the pound in an independent Scotland and at dinner the next night a friend questioned his motivation. "Oh that?", said Jim, "I was just shit stirring for headlines!" Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Death Impends 8,011 Posted October 31 Deathrace Form Guide #5 Frankie Valli Walk like a man, mime like a bot for the Four Seasons man now entering his winter. Deadpoolers can't take their eyes off the lip syncing at recent concerts that will no doubt leave them beggin' to pick him in case he bids bye bye baby early 2025. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
arghton 6,782 Posted October 31 Deathrace Form Guide #6 S. M. Krishna The 92-year-old Indian former Minister of External Affairs and Chief Minister of Karnataka who campaigned for Kennedy in 1960 hasn't been a healthy man in years, having spent four months hospitalised in varyingly critical conditions earlier this year. Reading between the lines, he suffers from some forms of severe lung and heart diseases and might've even undergone a lung transplant earlier. He's been in hospital again for two weeks, but is presumably satisfactory, improving, stable...etc, but a few further deteriorations might help him join his forementioned political guru in January. 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Spade_Cooley 9,569 Posted October 31 Deathrace Form Guide #7 Abdullah the Butcher The "Madman from the Sudan" (from Ontario, Canada) had a career lasting nearly 60 years, wrestled in some 40 countries and gave hepatitis C to around 30 fellow wrestlers. Superstar Billy Graham famously tried to resign from the WWE Hall of Fame upon learning that he'd be sharing membership with the "worthless and embarrassing" Abdullah, and if you can't trust Superstar Billy when it comes to deadpooling who can you trust? His long-running health issues finally made it to GoFundMe levels over the summer, so will the former owner of Abdullah the Butcher's House of Ribs and Chinese Food be put in a box to go this January? 3 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Dying Probably 579 Posted October 31 Christ, it's time for 2025 submissions already?? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,662 Posted October 31 56 minutes ago, Dying Probably said: Christ, it's time for 2025 submissions already?? It's not obligatory - it's also time for Slade to start climbing the charts, but it's not like we have to stream that song if we don't like it! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
En Passant 3,745 Posted October 31 21 minutes ago, maryportfuncity said: It's not obligatory - it's also time for Slade to start climbing the charts, but it's not like we have to stream that song if we don't like it! Don't even mind Slade it's annoying but far from the worst - which leads me to... Thinking of doing Whamaggedon one way or another again this year (I really really don't like that song), might start a thread if I remember in a month. I've never ever made it, though I've been within 3 days - then Tesco, the bastards, did for me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
ladyfiona 2,616 Posted November 1 Deathrace Form Guide #8 Isabel Veloso Brazilian influencer with terminal cancer, who now has also become pregnant with her first child. Claims she has months to live. The teenager has a 6.6-inch tumor between her lungs that also impacts her heart. Call her stupid or not. She's an interesting one to have on your list. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
arghton 6,782 Posted November 1 Deathrace Form Guide #9 Ziyad al-Nakhalah As Secretary-General of the Islamic Jihad Movement in Palestine, al-Nakhalah has been a major target of Israel for a few years now. He was a subject of two assasination attempts last month (you might want to send an email to Netanyahu asking to slow down a bit) but if he makes it to January he might be a good punt. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,662 Posted November 1 6 hours ago, arghton said: Deathrace Form Guide #9 Ziyad al-Nakhalah As Secretary-General of the Islamic Jihad Movement in Palestine, al-Nakhalah has been a major target of Israel for a few years now. He was a subject of two assasination attempts last month (you might want to send an email to Netanyahu asking to slow down a bit) but if he makes it to January he might be a good punt. Speaking as one of the five DDP contestants this year who cashed in on Yaha Sinawar I can see your point Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CaptainChorizo 1,990 Posted November 2 Deathrace Form Guide #10 Tommy Brown The last man alive to play in Major League Baseball during WW2. As a teen he filled in back home as a utility infielder 80 years ago, when older lads of his generation got called upon to fight overseas. Seems he could carry out similiar duty for teams here when the inevitable happens to many picks who don't make the starting line. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,662 Posted November 6 Deathrace Form Guide #11 Donald J Trump Incoming 47th president of the USA, a 78-year-old weeble shaped individual widely believed to self-medicate with ADHD meds and not known to listen to sage advice about anything. Dead poolers have shown increasing interest in a man many believe to be a stroke, heart attack or similar health emergency waiting to happen. Clearly, a couple of would-be assassins saw a different end to his existence. The variables here are the real dilemma, like does his health go down whilst he still maintains a heartbeat way beyond the calling of victory in this pool? The Deathrace may be a sprint rather than a marathon but if you regard your team of 20 much in the way an international football manager packs a subs' bench to include some talent availble for contingencies, then the ultimate irony here is that a politician so individual you might argue he isn't a politician might actually be a superb team player where dead pool management is concerned. I'm led to believe the obit chances are very strong. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Immortal 636 Posted November 6 Deathrace Form Guide #12 Allan Lichtman Also known as the "Nostradamus" of the U.S Presidential elections, he successfully predicted almost every U.S election since 1984 with the exception of 2000 and now, 2024. He's also getting humiliated online for his failure. Oh, and he's 77 so perhaps this failed prediction might just be his last one. 2 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Unknown Man 588 Posted November 9 Deathrace Form Guide #13 Emily Willis As a former adult film actress, she may never be able to walk or breathe independently again after going into cardiac arrest early in 2024 and is now in a vegetative state. Assuming if she sees January, she might be worth a good punt. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
arghton 6,782 Posted Saturday at 17:01 Deathrace Form Guide #14 Luigi Manocchio The 97-year-old former boss of the Patriarca crime family has been said to be "close to the end" for multiple months now, starting from August when there was a "living funeral" type of event for him and Eddie Lato. Manocchio allegedly suffers from quite advanced prostate cancer and was erroneously reported dead back in September. A very low-hanging fruit. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
