Steve 597 Posted January 15 Surely Doc must be getting close to Mod Preview 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Surprise Demise 70 Posted January 15 4 minutes ago, Doc said: Big Update guys, the Carter Family has decided for Carter to undergo experimental treatment in secret. They know he has only weeks if not days left, but they got word a Turkish Doctor who has a highly experimental highly risky treatment method, but the upside is that this could prolong his life for up to several years. While it is true that he is in hospice meaning he would no longer be seeking treatment, this decision to enter hospice was made before this experimental treatment option was known to the family. The possibility of prolonging his life for up to a few years is too good of an opportunity for them to pass up. There is further motivation for him to want to continue life if he feels he has a chance to make it to the 2024 election, as he would feel much more at peach in accepting death if he knew Trump would never be president again. I do not have a medical degree but do have a masters in molecular biology and have somewhat of an understanding of how this treatment works based off of the details I have been given, though much of it is far too advanced for me to understand. In the intricate realm of neurobiological transference, a revolutionary procedure unfolds at the cellular level. Within the confines of our understanding of cellular structures, we delve into the intricacies of synaptic connections and neural networks. Imagine a meticulous process where the very essence of cognition is delicately encoded into the synaptic patterns of individual neurons. Through an advanced form of quantum neuro-cognitive mapping, we embark on a journey at the subatomic scale, manipulating the quantum states of electrons within the synapses. These minute particles dance in orchestrated patterns, forming a tapestry of cognitive information. Concurrently, the cellular membrane acts as a gatekeeper, facilitating the transfer of quantum-encoded consciousness across the neural pathways. As the quantum states harmonize, a symphony of neurological data resonates, transcending the conventional boundaries of cellular communication. This orchestration of quantum cognition reaches a crescendo, breaching the limitations of traditional neuroscience. The neural pathways, now imprinted with the quintessence of consciousness, bear the signature of an individual's thoughts, memories, and self-awareness. Unbeknownst to the observer, the grand finale of this scientific odyssey unveils itself as the culmination of all efforts materializes within the unsuspecting vessel—a humble peanut. In a twist that defies conventional understanding, the quantum-mapped consciousness seamlessly integrates with the peanut's cellular matrix. The peanut, once a mundane legume, now houses the complex tapestry of a sentient mind, forever altering the paradigm of neuroscientific possibilities. This groundbreaking revelation challenges the very fabric of our comprehension, inviting us to reconsider the boundaries between the tangible and the abstract. The peanut, now an unlikely host to the essence of cognition, stands as a testament to the enigmatic possibilities that lie at the intersection of science and imagination. To explain this in more simple terms, they are going to attempt Jimmy's consciousness into a peanut plant. As we have all seen recently his mind is still in great shape for someone his age and it is merely his body which is failing him. If they can plant Jimmy's conciseness into a healthy host body then he can continue to live on with the lifespan of the new host body. One might ask why they can not transfer his conciseness into something with more physical capabilities such as a human body, robot, or even animal, instead of something so limiting as a peanut plant. The problem is that the cellular makeup of these larger beings are far too complex to be able to even dream about a successful conscious swap into. A peanut starts out as a single seed with an extremely simple cellular structure and thus makes for one of the best chances for a successful consciousness transfer. A further benefit to selecting a peanut is that Jimmy can then be planted back at his old peanut farm which he loves so dearly and isn where he wishes he could spend his remaining days. There is already some talk within the family of then turning the Carter Peanut farm into a massive Graceland/Dollywood like theme park attraction where people can take photos with Jimmy in his peanut form. Furthermore they believe that they will be able use electrode placement to read the electrical signals from his Peanut Plant host and be able to understand whatever thoughts he is trying to communicate by interpretation of the electrical readings. With a potential from him to be able to communicate in his new host body Jimmy is considering joining CNN as a 2024 election analyst. They figure it would be a huge ratings draw to have a plant as an on air talent especially considering the plant would be the beloved former president. It would also be seen as a boon for CNN as they would have a leg up in the diversity equity and inclusion arms race with the other news networks by being the first network to hire the underrepresented legume community. Hopefully for Jimmy and for the rest of humanity this procedure is successful since this technology if functional could be used to extend the lives of millions. I'd probably be Carter's age if I stopped to actually read all this. 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TQR 14,386 Posted January 15 4 minutes ago, Steve said: Surely Doc must be getting close to Mod Preview By this forum's standards? Not even on the road to it. 2 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
InnovationIsMySpeciality 24 Posted January 15 26 minutes ago, Doc said: Big Update guys, the Carter Family has decided for Carter to undergo experimental treatment in secret. They know he has only weeks if not days left, but they got word a Turkish Doctor who has a highly experimental highly risky treatment method, but the upside is that this could prolong his life for up to several years. While it is true that he is in hospice meaning he would no longer be seeking treatment, this decision to enter hospice was made before this experimental treatment option was known to the family. The possibility of prolonging his life for up to a few years is too good of an opportunity for them to pass up. There is further motivation for him to want to continue life if he feels he has a chance to make it to the 2024 election, as he would feel much more at peach in accepting death if he knew Trump would never be president again. I do not have a medical degree but do have a masters in molecular biology and have somewhat of an understanding of how this treatment works based off of the details I have been given, though much of it is far too advanced for me to understand. In the intricate realm of neurobiological transference, a revolutionary procedure unfolds at the cellular level. Within the confines of our understanding of cellular structures, we delve into the intricacies of synaptic connections and neural networks. Imagine a meticulous process where the very essence of cognition is delicately encoded into the synaptic patterns of individual neurons. Through an advanced form of quantum neuro-cognitive mapping, we embark on a journey at the subatomic scale, manipulating the quantum states of electrons within the synapses. These minute particles dance in orchestrated patterns, forming a tapestry of cognitive information. Concurrently, the cellular membrane acts as a gatekeeper, facilitating the transfer of quantum-encoded consciousness across the neural pathways. As the quantum states harmonize, a symphony of neurological data resonates, transcending the conventional boundaries of cellular communication. This orchestration of quantum cognition reaches a crescendo, breaching the limitations of traditional neuroscience. The neural pathways, now imprinted with the quintessence of consciousness, bear the signature of an individual's thoughts, memories, and self-awareness. Unbeknownst to the observer, the grand finale of this scientific odyssey unveils itself as the culmination of all efforts materializes within the unsuspecting vessel—a humble peanut. In a twist that defies conventional understanding, the quantum-mapped consciousness seamlessly integrates with the peanut's cellular matrix. The peanut, once a mundane legume, now houses the complex tapestry of a sentient mind, forever altering the paradigm of neuroscientific possibilities. This groundbreaking revelation challenges the very fabric of our comprehension, inviting us to reconsider the boundaries between the tangible and the abstract. The peanut, now an unlikely host to the essence of cognition, stands as a testament to the enigmatic possibilities that lie at the intersection of science and imagination. To explain this in more simple terms, they are going to attempt Jimmy's consciousness into a peanut plant. As we have all seen recently his mind is still in great shape for someone his age and it is merely his body which is failing him. If they can plant Jimmy's conciseness into a healthy host body then he can continue to live on with the lifespan of the new host body. One might ask why they can not transfer his conciseness into something with more physical capabilities such as a human body, robot, or even animal, instead of something so limiting as a peanut plant. The problem is that the cellular makeup of these larger beings are far too complex to be able to even dream about a successful conscious swap into. A peanut starts out as a single seed with an extremely simple cellular structure and thus makes for one of the best chances for a successful consciousness transfer. A further benefit to selecting a peanut is that Jimmy can then be planted back at his old peanut farm which he loves so dearly and isn where he wishes he could spend his remaining days. There is already some talk within the family of then turning the Carter Peanut farm into a massive Graceland/Dollywood like theme park attraction where people can take photos with Jimmy in his peanut form. Furthermore they believe that they will be able use electrode placement to read the electrical signals from his Peanut Plant host and be able to understand whatever thoughts he is trying to communicate by interpretation of the electrical readings. With a potential from him to be able to communicate in his new host body Jimmy is considering joining CNN as a 2024 election analyst. They figure it would be a huge ratings draw to have a plant as an on air talent especially considering the plant would be the beloved former president. It would also be seen as a boon for CNN as they would have a leg up in the diversity equity and inclusion arms race with the other news networks by being the first network to hire the underrepresented legume community. Hopefully for Jimmy and for the rest of humanity this procedure is successful since this technology if functional could be used to extend the lives of millions. I took the time to read this magnificently satirical post and will sum it up for you majestic lot because you all are overwhelmed by its wordiness. TL:DR: My esteemed friend Mr. Doc believes Mr. Carter will undergo an experimental treatment that will put his mind into a peanut plant. He will live at his peanut farm and it will become a tourist destination. Scientists will find a way to translate his thoughts and he will become a political analyst on CNN. 1 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livingbygrace 326 Posted January 15 What amazes me is that he took that much time to type this useless craziness! 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Commtech Sio Bibble 2,028 Posted January 15 I hate all of you. 8 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Doc 84 Posted January 15 5 minutes ago, livingbygrace said: What amazes me is that he took that much time to type this useless craziness! I would think as a woman that you would be more understanding of rambling on about useless craziness 1 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Toast 16,132 Posted January 15 @Doc Paragraphs, Doc, paragraphs. 1 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
livingbygrace 326 Posted January 15 2 minutes ago, Doc said: I would think as a woman that you would be more understanding of rambling on about useless craziness As a women I do like to chat people's ear off at times. The difference is that my rambling are at least coherent and logical. But thanks for the Fantasy Story that you made up Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stogiagio 41 Posted January 15 The topic is HOT now Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
jimbean1121 238 Posted January 15 21 minutes ago, Commtech Sio Bibble said: I hate all of you. finally someone is saying what ive been thinking because reading all of this nonsense has actually shortened my life span 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Stogiagio 41 Posted January 15 The experimental treatment is working...for now 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Doc 84 Posted January 15 3 minutes ago, Stogiagio said: The experimental treatment is working...for now I know it makes me really happy to see Carter chugging along still, makes me think what kind of treatments we will all have access to in only a few years time. Maybe they will develop something that can help Biden to comprehend the English language once again. Anything is possible in today's day and age. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
polar duck 866 Posted January 15 On 25/09/2020 at 17:39, Perhaps said: Me, every night, praying for a mute button to mute the Donald Trump, UK Singles Chart and Ruth Bader Ginsburg Jimmy Carter threads: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
arrowsmith 445 Posted January 15 2 hours ago, The Great Cornholio said: Fuck me I'm not reading all that... Then don’t fucking reply, you pointless twat. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
arrowsmith 445 Posted January 15 2 hours ago, Toast said: @Doc Paragraphs, Doc, paragraphs. Wouldn’t save him. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
arrowsmith 445 Posted January 15 8 hours ago, jimbean1121 said: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Great Cornholio 902 Posted January 15 10 hours ago, arrowsmith said: Then don’t fucking reply, you pointless twat. Are you ok? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
arrowsmith 445 Posted January 15 5 hours ago, The Great Cornholio said: Are you ok? I’d be better if there weren’t people like you on here who quoted an entire nine hundred word post to say they didn’t read it. You’re the forum equivalent of the morons who reply all to a listserv email. 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Sod's Law 445 Posted January 15 Jesus, this entire thread is having a schizophrenic episode. I wonder if Jimmy knows quite what he's triggered here? 2 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
drol 11,934 Posted January 15 Stop it, guys! Don't you understand? Jimmy is pitting us against each other. 9 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Superstar 295 Posted January 15 I understand that there's a lot of conflict in this thread, so here's my hot take. What if the real Jimmy Carter was the friends we made along the way? 1 5 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Insane 349 Posted January 15 Doc, Arrow and Mango arguing (there all fucking acting like children) 7 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
The Great Cornholio 902 Posted January 16 7 hours ago, arrowsmith said: I’d be better if there weren’t people like you on here who quoted an entire nine hundred word post to say they didn’t read it. You’re the forum equivalent of the morons who reply all to a listserv email. Imagine getting triggered over a such a small thing that has literally nothing to do with you, you must live a super boring existence if thats your big complaint in life. 3 1 Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
