Drunk? Bored?? Psychopath???

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha, I ran out of vodka

It is such a bummer

When you run out of vodka

and I had to pay

seven quid for a taxi home

now i'm going to bed

with all my clothes on

nobody has died

since I've been out on the piss

i think DL is having

the worst year of its life

this all rhymes

in my drunken head

i will be so ashamed

when i get out of my bed

in the morning

so apple ogies

and bollocks

and if the swear filters on

then f'uck off

 

How right I was

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha, I ran out of vodka

It is such a bummer

When you run out of vodka

and I had to pay

seven quid for a taxi home

now i'm going to bed

with all my clothes on

nobody has died

since I've been out on the piss

i think DL is having

the worst year of its life

this all rhymes

in my drunken head

i will be so ashamed

when i get out of my bed

in the morning

so apple ogies

and bollocks

and if the swear filters on

then f'uck off

 

How right I was

Bollox should you!

That is a fab post, no messing, an utter pearl.

No big words, no "oh look at me, im so clever, Ive eaten a dictionary" sh*te.

Just a good plain, entertaining belly laugh of a post.

F'uck, we need you Lardy, plenty we dont need, but you aint one of them.

[Toast 14,844]

Got trashed at a wedding do last night, there was wine or lager: I hate lager and wine always gets me pissed, so easy decision there. Ended up at the pub where I insisted on buying everyone a drink, then remembered I had no money with me.

 

i will be so ashamed

when i get out of my bed

in the morning

I got round this by not getting out of bed till 3 pm.

[Madame Defarge 21]

Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha, I ran out of vodka

It is such a bummer

When you run out of vodka

and I had to pay

seven quid for a taxi home

now i'm going to bed

with all my clothes on

nobody has died

since I've been out on the piss

i think DL is having

the worst year of its life

this all rhymes

in my drunken head

i will be so ashamed

when i get out of my bed

in the morning

so apple ogies

and bollocks

and if the swear filters on

then f'uck off

Congratulations on these great, GREAT lyrics LB....now if someone could just rustle up a tune good enough to do them justice.

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

Mwah ha ha ha ha ha ha, I ran out of vodka

It is such a bummer

When you run out of vodka

and I had to pay

seven quid for a taxi home

now i'm going to bed

with all my clothes on

nobody has died

since I've been out on the piss

i think DL is having

the worst year of its life

this all rhymes

in my drunken head

i will be so ashamed

when i get out of my bed

in the morning

so apple ogies

and bollocks

and if the swear filters on

then f'uck off

Congratulations on these great, GREAT lyrics LB....now if someone could just rustle up a tune good enough to do them justice.

 

You mean you couldn't work out the tune from the words? If I recall, in my mind I was doing the rumba, you know, cha cha cha cha cha CHA, cha cha cha cha cha CHA. Try it with the words. It almost works. Up until about the fourth line.

[To die for 3]

On the phone to drunk friend who had to ring because she didn't know what IMHO meant when I txted about how two bottles of wine was perfectly normal behaviour, now I'm pissed to

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

I'm bored and in a foul stench of a mood.

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

I'm off out to keep Smirnoff in business tonight with my jolly chum Sarah. Drink, kebabs, and vomiting in the gutter outside Charcoal Grill - the perfect evening

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

fekin HELL lost my fekin fags, didn't even get to the keb ab van, got a taxi and the drifver was only the ex's old mate from work for feks sake so i had to try and look half sober so he didn't report me back to ex who would in turn report me to social services for being a drunk mother. f'uckers. ha ha and i rememberd the apostrophe you swear filter twat. cv'unts.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

fekin HELL lost my fekin fags, didn't even get to the keb ab van, got a taxi and the drifver was only the ex's old mate from work for feks sake so i had to try and look half sober so he didn't report me back to ex who would in turn report me to social services for being a drunk mother. f'uckers. ha ha and i rememberd the apostrophe you swear filter twat. cv'unts.

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

fekin HELL lost my fekin fags, didn't even get to the keb ab van, got a taxi and the drifver was only the ex's old mate from work for feks sake so i had to try and look half sober so he didn't report me back to ex who would in turn report me to social services for being a drunk mother. f'uckers. ha ha and i rememberd the apostrophe you swear filter twat. cv'unts.

 

Ah, except I didn't, did I, because I would NEVER use 'fekin' instead of 'f'ucking'. Damn.

 

Am I the only one round here who gets drunk any more? Or is it just because I'm young and foolish, and everyone else is too old for it?

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

fekin HELL lost my fekin fags, didn't even get to the keb ab van, got a taxi and the drifver was only the ex's old mate from work for feks sake so i had to try and look half sober so he didn't report me back to ex who would in turn report me to social services for being a drunk mother. f'uckers. ha ha and i rememberd the apostrophe you swear filter twat. cv'unts.

 

Ah, except I didn't, did I, because I would NEVER use 'fekin' instead of 'f'ucking'. Damn.

 

Am I the only one round here who gets drunk any more? Or is it just because I'm young and foolish, and everyone else is too old for it?

Well Im old and foolish.

However, I am old enough now to know that the hangover will never be worth the "getting pissed" bit.

Luckily, you are not at that stage yet.

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

Well tonight I'm going to the most illustrious of events, the 50th anniversary dinner and dance of the Westbury and District Ladies Darts League. I haven't actually played for that league in about 10 years, but 1) it's dinner and 2) it's beer. And I'm even wearing a dress!

[Paul Bearer 5,662]

I'm even wearing a dress!

 

Take photo's?

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

I'm even wearing a dress!

 

Take photo's?

 

In your dreams, sunshine I managed to stay sitting down for every photo!

[Star Crossed 33]

Well tonight I'm going to the ... 50th anniversary dinner and dance of the Westbury and District Ladies Darts League ... And I'm even wearing a dress!

A dress which cost me an arm and a leg, and which you brought back covered in what can only be described as vegetarian lasagna. There were certainly bits of carrot in it. Mucky pup.

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

Well tonight I'm going to the ... 50th anniversary dinner and dance of the Westbury and District Ladies Darts League ... And I'm even wearing a dress!

A dress which cost me an arm and a leg, and which you brought back covered in what can only be described as vegetarian lasagna. There were certainly bits of carrot in it. Mucky pup.

 

Uncannily accurate, if I may say so!

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

Im totally and utterly f'ucked off with everything

Its all sh*te.

[honez 79]

Im totally and utterly f'ucked off with everything

Its all sh*te.

In sad times like these, LFN, it's best to comfort yourself with happy thoughts.

Like Brave Jade and how she captured a nation's hearts.

Remember, every story has a happy ending.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,132]

Im totally and utterly f'ucked off with everything

Its all sh*te.

In sad times like these, LFN, it's best to comfort yourself with happy thoughts.

Like Brave Jade and how she captured a nation's hearts.

Remember, every story has a happy ending.

Thanks for that, you bastard.

Im now f,ucking suicidal!

[Lard Bazaar 3,687]

why does drinking vodka and orange juice just taste like your drinking oragne juice therefore not realiseing how much vocka you are dirinking?

and why after drinking oragne juice do i get a minging case of cystitis. is it just to piunish me for drinking so much orange juice?

[aliveandwell 0]

wot does it mean wen it says i am a spammer?

[Vaagheid 140]

edit:

 

removed

[honez 79]

wot does it mean wen it says i am a spammer?

It means that your spelling looks like someone sending a spam email. Spell properly and everything will be okay. Continue to spell like a cockjockey and you'll continue to look like one.

[aliveandwell 0]

wot does it mean wen it says i am a spammer?

It means that your spelling looks like someone sending a spam email. Spell properly and everything will be okay. Continue to spell like a cockjockey and you'll continue to look like one.

well that was two very different answers.so am i supposed to believe that you know what a cockjockey looks like? or is that just some siily word that you have made up while you were having a shave