Docter Docter!

[Banshees Scream 110]

One of these years I'm going to have to move out of Texas or I'm going to have to resign myself to mania every spring.

I do not want to interfere with your life and my focus is not to complicate it, but why do you give authority to your illusions? It's my belief that if one can find the strength to confront a powerful illusion they can cease it's existence. I understand and accept that some people are at odds with their subconscious self. With knowing this, I have a suggestion for you.

 

Decide on a number of days that you would like to be free from your medication. Give the medication to a person who is responsible (I assume that would be your husband) and set the experiment into motion. In your case, I am not asking you to deny the existence of something that you believe to be real, but I am asking you not to acknowledge it as significant. If you can follow these directions, then you can fully reevaluate your thinking

[honez 79]

One of these years I'm going to have to move out of Texas or I'm going to have to resign myself to mania every spring.

I do not want to interfere with your life and my focus is not to complicate it, but why do you give authority to your illusions? It's my belief that if one can find the strength to confront a powerful illusion they can cease it's existence. I understand and accept that some people are at odds with their subconscious self. With knowing this, I have a suggestion for you.

 

Decide on a number of days that you would like to be free from your medication. Give the medication to a person who is responsible (I assume that would be your husband) and set the experiment into motion. In your case, I am not asking you to deny the existence of something that you believe to be real, but I am asking you not to acknowledge it as significant. If you can follow these directions, then you can fully reevaluate your thinking

You're not Tom Cruise are you?

[Banshees Scream 110]

Nah honez, although I do believe in the will to overcome the illusions our minds create. Regret, compulsive thinking, depression, addictions and all the rest. Addiction has become one of the most pathetic excuses in modern times. That's what is wrong with this world honez, people are unable to control themselves.

I prefer to think of it as lack of consciousness. I'm not saying that some people shouldn't take medications if they seriously need them, but it shouldn't have become a global phenomenon. Nothing may truly matter honez, and you know that, but it is our destiny to become greater than what we truly are and the first step to making that a reality is self control.

[Terminator 13]

Nah honez, although I do believe in the will to overcome the illusions our minds create. Regret, compulsive thinking, depression, addictions and all the rest. Addiction has become one of the most pathetic excuses in modern times. That's what is wrong with this world honez, people are unable to control themselves.

I prefer to think of it as lack of consciousness. I'm not saying that some people shouldn't take medications if they seriously need them, but it shouldn't have become a global phenomenon. Nothing may truly matter honez, and you know that, but it is our destiny to become greater than what we truly are and the first step to making that a reality is self control.

When do you get to overcome idiocy???

[Star Crossed 33]

... Addiction has become one of the most pathetic excuses in modern times. That's what is wrong with this world honez, people are unable to control themselves.

True, BS, look at the post-count some people have accrued. I'm sailing merrily towards my 1000th with hardly a single on-topic post, like a crackhead stretching out the cramps long enough to hobble to my dealer's house. Yeah, addiction is just a lack of control. Buck up, addicts. Get a grip. Tell your mind and body not to crave. Easy when you know how!

Didn't you once try to give up posting on DL, BS? I bet you were sweating and shaking like a smack addict going cold turkey, right until the moment when you got your fix. People in glass houses...

 

... it is our destiny to become greater than what we truly are ...

Surely that's why internet forums exist. I'm illiterate in real life.

[CarolAnn 926]

My front deck is coated in oak pollen - every time I take the dogs out it takes me 20 minutes to stop sneezing.

Hell, even the dogs are sneezing.

That made me wonder if the dogs' sneezes are a sort of Alpha-response thing... CA is in charge, so do they sneeze when she sneezes (Gesundheit, btw CA!) in much the same way as dogs yawn when their masters/mistresses yawn?

That made me wonder if the dogs of those with Tourrette's Syndrome do the same... "Phucking Slag!" followed by "Woof-a-waf!"

 

One of these years I'm going to have to move out of Texas

Not until they pry you from its cold, dead hands!

 

... or I'm going to have to resign myself to mania every spring.

Surely that would make you the model Texan! Throw in a shopping mall and an assault rifle and we've got ourselves a good old-fashioned down-home sneeze-aggravated massacre.

 

The problem is that I would probably still be sneezing so hard that I wouldn't be able to aim.

 

I sat down with one of my dogs after I read this and tried to make him yawn. He looked at me like I was insane, rolled over and went to sleep. I was crushed. Apparently I'm not in charge.

 

As far as my "illusions"....I'm not going there. I resolved that years ago.

[honez 79]

Do you or someone you know have hiccups? This'll cure it.

And there rests the case for the defence M'lud.

[time 8,599]

Do you or someone you know have hiccups? This'll cure it.

And there rests the case for the defence M'lud.

 

Makes you wonder...exactly how would you stumble across this remedy?

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Do you or someone you know have hiccups? This'll cure it.

And there rests the case for the defence M'lud.

 

 

I would imagine that if someone stuck something up my arse, the sharp intake of breath that would follow (followed by the swift punch in the face to the arse-invader) would be enough to stop hiccups.

[Windsor 2,233]

Do you or someone you know have hiccups? This'll cure it.

And there rests the case for the defence M'lud.

 

Makes you wonder...exactly how would you stumble across this remedy?

 

[honez 79]

Do you or someone you know have hiccups? This'll cure it.

And there rests the case for the defence M'lud.

 

Makes you wonder...exactly how would you stumble across this remedy?

 

Cure me hiccups before you go go...

[time 8,599]

Do you or someone you know have hiccups? This'll cure it.

And there rests the case for the defence M'lud.

 

Makes you wonder...exactly how would you stumble across this remedy?

 

 

I'm sure the shock of him approaching would cure my hiccups without any need for digital manipulation.

[Mind Mush 6]

Seriously I'd like to know what is wrong with you. I mean everything from Mental Illness to PTSD, from Dandruff to Athletes Foot, from Crotch Rot to Vaginal Warts - just tell me What is Wrong With You!!!

 

Remember this is for posterity so please be honest.

 

Love,

 

Mind Mush

 

1/29/2013 - Thanks everyone for your generous offerings - see my post reply down below!!

[Rotten Ali 600]

Top marks Mind Mush. This is fine thread to start off the inner obsessiveness in quite a few of us.

 

1. Fairly sure my odd heart beat every now and then is a precursor to something like a heart attack. HA Took my dad at age 64.

2. My mum had bowl cancer at age 56 and her dad died of it aged 65. So that runs in the family and I bet I'll have to keep my mind open to that.

3. Asthma. Just slight but it's there after lots of strenuous work.

4. Because of #3, I often can't shake of those flu bugs.

5. Still get a few zits at 46. So have too eat better than most.

6. Because of #5 and because I don't exercise enought because of #7, I'm overweight (17 stone)

7. Bad back. Stemmed from a fall on an icey pavement. Really does go click.

8. Thinning hair line. That's down to my body producing to too much Testosterone.

9. Uneven front teeth that really should have had braces and need implant things.

10 Hypercondria...

 

I could go further, but I've got to go to work...

[maryportfuncity 10,646]

If you line up my parents and granparents (metaphorically because none of them remain alive) a combination of heart attacks and cancer accounted for all of them and the average age on death of the lot of them suggests I might not live to see retirement.

 

Apart from that I'm carrying no major life-threateners (so far as I know), used to run marathons, still run half-marathons and don't abuse my body too badly, despite a steady stream of beer at DLCons and football matches. So, you never know, I might see 70!

[RIP Wee Jum 1,559]

• I suffer from keratoconus - http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Keratoconus. So my eyes are a funny shape and this makes me have terrible eye sight, I am supposed to wear contacts but I start work at 6:30am and I normally don't get up early enough to put them in, so I walk around blind for most of the day
  
• I have eczema on my left shin and nowhere else. The doctors don't have a clue why its just there
  
• In the winter months I have very little moisture in my hands and my hands have been described as one work colleague as "like the sahara" because they are so dry
  
• I'm a right fat bastard
  
• Snore very loudly, apparently. It's fine as it doesn't bother me :-)
  
• My grandparents all lived to a descent age and my parents are a decent age. No major illnesses detected in my family.yet.
  

[Death Impends 7,965]

My dad's parents lived great lives (grandma still alive nearly 84, grandpa died at 86) while my mom's died pretty young. I didn't really know the latter's but I heard that at least the mom smoked a lot. Also I'm on the tubby side.

[Book 3,556]

I am very healthy. I don't live very healthy but I am, I don't know why.

Wait: I'm a vegetarian since the age of 14.

I don't exercise. Never.

I used to smoke for nearly 16 years but quit smoking 7 months ago (just to test if I can stop it. It still works!!)

Sometimes i wish I have... whatever. Just stay at home for a week or two, beeing a little sick. But I'm not.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

OH MY GOD what a brilliant thread!

 

Well, where to start......

 

1) Insomnia

2) Depression spiralling into quite severe bouts of mental illness

3) Left leg broken twice within 6 months leading to long term pain and walking like I've shit my pants

4) Hay fever

5) Migraines on a weekly basis

6) BMI of 38.9 at 5 ft 1 inch which I think puts me in the 'FAT FUCKER' range.

7) Started smoking at age 13, gave up at 20, started again at age 23, gave up at age 24, started again at age 34, gave up at age 36, started again at age 37, gave up again at age 38......now age 39........

8) Sometimes I get this really annoying twitch in my eyelid

9) And I get really big bogeys

10) Family history - not that bad really apart from sister dying of brain tumour at age 43 - dad and brother have asthma, three out of four grandparents still alive (albeit two are demented as fuck and one had a massive stroke last year)

 

So actually, apart from being a massive blubbering mound of lard, it doesn't look too bad! Jessica Ennis can suck my balls!

[time 8,599]

I am perfect in every way.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Apart from the delusions.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

Hmmmm.

1. My back is fooked ( spondyoloisthesis) which wouldnt be too disasterous If I was an office jockey but its not too good when you have a physical job like mine.

1A. Sciatica ( see above)

2. Arthritis in my right hand ( its ok, I dont do that no more anyway)

3. Eyesight is finally going shit. I need reading glasses but cant be arsed.

4. I dont sleep well

5. Im prone to headaches

6. Knees are shagged. Actually had an old lady help my up when i couldnt get up because of the pain in them ( job related, Im not a beggar)

7. Hair loss. Im more Jason Statham than, erm Hair Bear

8.T.B.A Im hurtling towards 50, somethings bound to come up.

Family history: High blood pressure, premature death and my Dad had a quadruple bypass in 2006, he is only 70 now so that was a mega shock.

Live your life.

[The Dead Cow 620]

I'm completely fine apart from the fact that i suffer from

 

1. Major Depression

2. Acne

3. Some difficulty breathing

4. A swollen lymph node which I have had for about 6 months now so I should probably get that checked

5. Underweight

6. And often i get conjunctivitis

 

As for family, one of my grandparents died before I was even born, one died aged 74 of pneumonia and the other died aged 78 of a stroke. The other one is still alive but he is deaf as a post.

 

Apart from that i'm completely fine

[maryportfuncity 10,646]

THREAD OF THE CENTURY SO FAR!!

 

Get me the producers of The Undateables on the phone now, we are fuckin' TV gold in waiting, official!!

[Body Snatcher 44 107]

For what it’s worth...

 

I don't have any lingering ailments (except hay fever every spring and bad eyes, I wear glasses).

However I’ve had my fair share of accidents.

1. Scars on bottom lip and chin from motorcycle accident – nerve damage as a result (hurts like a motherfucker when I shave and I occasionally dribble without realising)
   
2. Scars on left knee from basketball injury and knee reconstruction– results in slight limp when I walk, used a walking stick for a while.
   
3. Scar on my back from an operation to remove cyst – can’t sit on hard plastic chairs for very long.
   
4. I maintain a healthy weight around 72KG’s for a height of 5’9.
   
5. I party hard, from time to time - lots of booze and the occasional reefer.
   
6. And of course I could always drown or be taken by a shark when I’m out on my board.
   

Both parents are alive, mum’s pretty healthy as are both my nans (woman in my family fair far better than the men), although they are in their late 80’s and both have early onset dementia. Dad’s in remission from leukaemia which he had at age 42, he has diabetes and arthritis in his hands, back and hips. Grandfathers died in their mid 60’s, one from cancer and another from an old piece of shrapnel from the war turned septic.

[Mind Mush 6]

Hey Everyone,

Glad to see so many replies!! Thanks to all for sharing such personal information. When the thread becomes passe I promise to relinquish all of my own malfunctions. But for starters I have to say that I still have this obsession with masterbation, at least once a day and sometimes 2 or 3 times daily and I'll be 63 soon. I find it extremely pleasurable, gratifying, healthy and have come to the conclusion that having one woman is just clearly not enough. It's not that we don't have sex but it's just not that often and most women, especially mine, don't really get into the things that I'm fantasizing about during masturbation. So there you have it. Plus I'm going blind in one eye (must be all the masturbation).

Actually I was born extremely myopic followed by detached retina and now macular degeneration.

I also picked up this foot fungus at the health club. More to follow,

Thanks again,

Love,

Mind Mush