Banshees Scream 107 Posted July 26, 2006 I was chatting to my Cumbrian collegues over the weekend. When the subject of Maryport came up, they looked at each other, laughed and declared it 'A weird old place.' When pushed, they revealed that they were in the chippie one evening when a bloke walked in leading a horse on a piece of old string...and no-one else in the place batted an eyelid. Is this normal for Maryport? Did the horse place an order? regards, Hein Horse 'Please nobody over 200 pounds' I beg you! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TLC 9 Posted July 26, 2006 Horse 'Please nobody over 200 pounds' I beg you!Are you begging the horse not to please fat people, perhaps because this horse is showing signs of developing Homo-Equine Obesity Based Altruism Syndrome? If so, wise words indeed; it's a nasty condition to have and no mistake. No, I've got no idea what I'm talking about either.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Star Crossed 33 Posted July 26, 2006 Horse 'Please nobody over 200 pounds' I beg you!Are you begging the horse not to please fat people, perhaps because this horse is showing signs of developing Homo-Equine Obesity Based Altruism Syndrome? If so, wise words indeed; it's a nasty condition to have and no mistake. No, I've got no idea what I'm talking about either.... That's my favourite TLC post yet. Taking the p1ss out of Banshees' poor grammar and rambling deliriously like Pete Doherty an hour after breaking into Alexander Shulgin's garage. Brilliant! Britain's in the grip of a heat-wave and your posts are becoming more surreal by the minute; I presume there's no air-con in your office, TLC? Sweat it out, bro, sweat it out... I went to Carlisle yesterday. There, I'm on-topic. Sort of. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Banshees Scream 107 Posted July 27, 2006 Horse 'Please nobody over 200 pounds' I beg you!Are you begging the horse not to please fat people, perhaps because this horse is showing signs of developing Homo-Equine Obesity Based Altruism Syndrome? If so, wise words indeed; it's a nasty condition to have and no mistake. No, I've got no idea what I'm talking about either.... If you were a horse would you like a 300 pound man to jump on your back and expect you to ride him around? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
VSBfromH 74 Posted July 27, 2006 MPFC, I am experiencing difficulties accessing the Whitehaven News website. Should I be concerned? Is something actually happening in Whitehaven? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Die 63 Posted July 27, 2006 MPFC, I am experiencing difficulties accessing the Whitehaven News website. Should I be concerned? Is something actually happening in Whitehaven? No need to panic. It's back now & sod all is happening there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anubis the Jackal 76 Posted July 27, 2006 Would you like a 300-pound horse to jump on your back? If you were a horse would you like a 300 pound man to jump on your back and expect you to ride him around? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,143 Posted July 27, 2006 Would you like a 300-pound horse to jump on your back? If you were a horse would you like a 300 pound man to jump on your back and expect you to ride him around? I certainly wouldn't. I'm allergic! Oh yes, and beast like that jumping on me would probably kill me. With its hooves and all that... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Banshees Scream 107 Posted July 29, 2006 Would you like a 300-pound horse to jump on your back? If you were a horse would you like a 300 pound man to jump on your back and expect you to ride him around? No. Would you? Or are you even more daring. How about a 500 pound horse. Are you that extreme Anubis? I can imagine Bruno, a man of the wilderness. Birds fly on his shoulders, he is infested with insects, butterflys, foxes, and rabbits circle him daily. It's all coming so clear? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Slave to the Grave 22 Posted July 29, 2006 Would you like a 300-pound horse to jump on your back? If you were a horse would you like a 300 pound man to jump on your back and expect you to ride him around? No. Would you? Or are you even more daring. How about a 500 pound horse. Are you that extreme Anubis? I can imagine Bruno, a man of the wilderness. Birds fly on his shoulders, he is infested with insects, butterflys, foxes, and rabbits circle him daily. It's all coming so clear? I'm having trouble picturing someone infested with foxes. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TLC 9 Posted July 31, 2006 Horse 'Please nobody over 200 pounds' I beg you!Are you begging the horse not to please fat people, perhaps because this horse is showing signs of developing Homo-Equine Obesity Based Altruism Syndrome? If so, wise words indeed; it's a nasty condition to have and no mistake. No, I've got no idea what I'm talking about either.... That's my favourite TLC post yet. Taking the p1ss out of Banshees' poor grammar and rambling deliriously like Pete Doherty an hour after breaking into Alexander Shulgin's garage. Brilliant! Britain's in the grip of a heat-wave and your posts are becoming more surreal by the minute; I presume there's no air-con in your office, TLC? Sweat it out, bro, sweat it out... I went to Carlisle yesterday. There, I'm on-topic. Sort of. Erm, we do have air conditioning in the office but me & the hot weather don't get on too well in general. I could try and blame the post on a spot of hypoglycaemia but I don't recall getting that Wednesday lunchtime. I blame it on the fact that as I feel more at home on the DL I get less paranoid when editing my posts and worrying if they're stupid, controversial, irrelevant etc. or not. I'm quite hot on grammar & spelling, but have far less control over my content other than not posting at all. I admit to using the carpet bombing posting technique i.e. I'll hit the target occasionally but collateral damage is more likely to occur. I use fellow DL'ers responses as my hit & miss guide. I've just realised this explanation doesn't really make any more sense than the post I'm referring to above; my excuse today is that I'm feeling a bit brittle after a ridiculous 4 days of helping my brother move house and also getting completely sh*t-faced on disco biscuits, Colombian marching powder and naughty cigarettes. If this were the 80's and I was wearing a double-breasted suit with stripy shirt and red braces I could correctly say I've been 'working hard and playing hard' recently. Hopefully I will be able to 'touch base' with reality soon. Good grief... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anubis the Jackal 76 Posted July 31, 2006 I'm having trouble picturing someone infested with foxes. I'm not.. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
in eternum+ 20 Posted July 31, 2006 I can imagine Bruno, a man of the wilderness. Birds fly on his shoulders, he is infested with insects, butterflys, foxes, and rabbits circle him daily. It's all coming so clear? I don't think I'd mind being infested with butterflies, that might be quite nice actually. Unless butterflies nibble. Do butterflies nibble? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Die 63 Posted July 31, 2006 I don't think I'd mind being infested with butterflies, that might be quite nice actually. Unless butterflies nibble. Do butterflies nibble? According to this.... Can butterflies bite or sting? They are not able to because they do not have the necessary mouthparts. In contrast to other insects, the butterfly is a model of innocence. I wonder what the "necessary mouthparts" are? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
in eternum+ 20 Posted July 31, 2006 I don't think I'd mind being infested with butterflies, that might be quite nice actually. Unless butterflies nibble. Do butterflies nibble? According to this.... Can butterflies bite or sting? They are not able to because they do not have the necessary mouthparts. In contrast to other insects, the butterfly is a model of innocence. I wonder what the "necessary mouthparts" are? Tastebuds? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Anubis the Jackal 76 Posted July 31, 2006 As far as I know, butterflies have a long retractable tubular mouth with which they suck nectar. Not much nibbling action there. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
in eternum+ 20 Posted July 31, 2006 As far as I know, butterflies have a long retractable tubular mouth with which they suck nectar. That doesn't make them sound like a "model of innocence", does it? It's amazing what a good spin doctor can do for you image. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,017 Posted July 31, 2006 Sorry to have missed the banter a few days ago. Re the questions, the horse and chippie incident isn't usual even for these parts. When Maryport makes national news it's generally for the wrong reasons like mother/son incest....she made light of it because it only happened once and he was 18 at the time. Even locals have a problem with that, as they also do with the young pranksters who decided to have a laugh blocking a pensioner's chimney. The pipe in question was a gas flue and the oldster was found dead watching telly. Then again there's the dolphin, the jazz festival that's hosted Dionne Warwick and Buddy Guy, the Aquarium.......... Whitehaven counts as upmarket, my sister who says there are no decent posh shops in Carlise perfers her chips on the seafront in Whitehaven. I like mine in Maryport. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
DevonDeathTrip 2,290 Posted December 13, 2006 Yep Christened 'Marra' by the locals which means - more or less - 'friend' in Cumbrian. When he was finally helped away another dolphin was sighted breaking the waves as Marra swam out into the Solway. Not a dry eye in the house. We're just waiting for a 'Free Willy' style blockbuster movie to start shootin' in the beautiful harbour. Looks like Marra might have come to a very nasty end. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 148 Posted December 13, 2006 Yep Christened 'Marra' by the locals which means - more or less - 'friend' in Cumbrian. When he was finally helped away another dolphin was sighted breaking the waves as Marra swam out into the Solway. Not a dry eye in the house. We're just waiting for a 'Free Willy' style blockbuster movie to start shootin' in the beautiful harbour. Looks like Marra might have come to a very nasty end. Looks like Maryport's famous chip shop proprietor was disturbed in the act. The horse will go hungry tonight. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,017 Posted December 13, 2006 It's sad man, no bullshit. And it's almost certainly Marra. A hot topic of conversation in West Cumbria where she was much loved. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,143 Posted January 8, 2007 In case I hadn't made it clear how great my town is, here is a new article. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
honez 79 Posted January 9, 2007 In case I hadn't made it clear how great my town is, here is a new article. It says heroin lurks like the Grim Reaper on every corner. Libelous! I'm sure our illustrious oberfuehrer isn't a Fraserburg cornerlurker. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,143 Posted January 9, 2007 This was my favourite: One police officer said there was no point in arresting dealers as outsiders would quickly take their place. Bunch of lazy, shiftless bastards. No wonder we have a drug problem in the town. They don't even patrol the high street at the weekend any more since a group of drunks tried to turnover a police car with a couple of officers inside. If you want to commit a crime and get away with it, come to Fraserburgh. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
