Windsor 2,233 Posted June 11, 2007 People actually move to Fraserburgh? I have two questions for you. Is she a crack addict? And when was her last appearance on the Jeremey Kyle Show? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest Guest Posted June 11, 2007 Does someone here live in Fraserburgh? My biological mother has moved there today, so lock up your sons and good riddance to the scabby old slapper. She'll need entertainment up there. Maybe some kindly soul living in the town could take her in hand (heh heh) and initiate her into the joys of the DL. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted June 12, 2007 People actually move to Fraserburgh? I have two questions for you. Is she a crack addict? And when was her last appearance on the Jeremey Kyle Show? She's a cock addict, and believe me, she has been approached for the Jeremy Kyle show amongst others. And that's the goddamn truth. You'll know her if you see her Windsor, long grey-haired tramp-lady shacked up with a long-haired toothless know-it-all twat who is only with her because she can afford a house up there where his family lives and he can't afford a cup of f*****g tea, guv'nor. Either steer well clear unless you want to contract syphilis, or go visit her and give her a good slap from me. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,639 Posted June 12, 2007 People actually move to Fraserburgh? I have two questions for you. Is she a crack addict? And when was her last appearance on the Jeremey Kyle Show? She's a cock addict, and believe me, she has been approached for the Jeremy Kyle show amongst others. And that's the goddamn truth. You'll know her if you see her Windsor, long grey-haired tramp-lady shacked up with a long-haired toothless know-it-all twat who is only with her because she can afford a house up there where his family lives and he can't afford a cup of f*****g tea, guv'nor. Either steer well clear unless you want to contract syphilis, or go visit her and give her a good slap from me. Lard, have you ever considered dragging her on Jeremy Kyle with you? Verbally, you'd wipe the floor with her in a crowd pleasing assualt that might - like - open doors for your good self, or summat. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Cowboy Ronnie 78 Posted June 12, 2007 Does someone here live in Fraserburgh? My biological mother has moved there today, so lock up your sons and good riddance to the scabby old slapper. I guess that's one Mother's Day card Royal Mail Fraserburgh won't be delivering next year then.... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handrejka 1,903 Posted June 12, 2007 Meanwhile my hometown, my original hometown, not where I live now has been making the news http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/england/merseyside/6732591.stm Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lady Grendel 139 Posted June 12, 2007 Does someone here live in Fraserburgh? My biological mother has moved there today, so lock up your sons and good riddance to the scabby old slapper. Perhaps you should show your mother this guide, seems to point out the places for slappers to hang about . Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Lard Bazaar 3,799 Posted June 12, 2007 Does someone here live in Fraserburgh? My biological mother has moved there today, so lock up your sons and good riddance to the scabby old slapper. Perhaps you should show your mother this guide, seems to point out the places for slappers to hang about . She'll find her way without a guide, she's drawn to slaghaunts like flies are drawn to sh*t. The only thing I'd like to show her is a shovel squarely to the face. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Windsor 2,233 Posted June 12, 2007 Lady G - you have opened up a world of opportunity to me! Sorry Lard B, this means your biological mother is dumped. I have been introduced to a number of whores but I'm afraid I had to turn them down - whorish behaviour starts young in Fraserburgh. On one occasion a younger female employee took my mobile number off the contact sheet at work and was rather suggestive by text. It was all looking good until I found out who she was and how old she was. Prison isn't a turn on (nor was the excessive use of make-up). She looked like a panda, and I don't mean cute. My workplace seems to be young-whore central. It reminds me of the South Park episode featuring Paris Hilton. Among the employees there is a 14 year old girl who is currently seeing a 17/18 year old guy. She has done the rounds. She boasts of her conquests at school including where her ex-boyfriend's fingers may or may not have ended up. That boyfriend was 13 years old. I particularly dislike this girl because she is a regular church goer. Indeed, she is a young Sunday School teacher and part of the Holy youth group that is the 'Covenanters' (who said sectarianism was dead?). Her mother is my sub-boss so when I quit slutty-ann may find herself in a bit of bother. I can remember that I predicted that she would become a whore. I was right. She looks like a chav and I would really like it if she would curl up and die. Thus ends this Chronicle of Fraserburgh. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Guest But, like the Murphy's... Posted June 13, 2007 She'll find her way without a guide, she's drawn to slaghaunts like flies are drawn to sh*t. The only thing I'd like to show her is a shovel squarely to the face. you're not bitter. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,639 Posted June 17, 2007 Debated about whether to post a link to this story. To put it in context Aspatria is a town just up the west cumbrian railway line from Maryport. Aspatria enjoys some views over the Solway to Scotland where the lights of Annan - barely ten miles in a straight line - are clearly visible. Annan and Aspatria would look very similar to the casual observer. Most 'spyatri' folks are alright but some of those girls would probably - with a little focus - stand a good chance of taking Laila Ali's boxing title. Others in the town might watch Blazing Saddles and think it a documentary. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,639 Posted December 21, 2007 Of late out local paper has taken to sharing pictures of West Cumbrians enjoying themselves in local clubs. I've considered sharing this with the forum but the latest shot in the series demands a wider audience to see just how the locals round here enjoy having it large, or summat. Check it out! Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted December 21, 2007 Of late out local paper has taken to sharing pictures of West Cumbrians enjoying themselves in local clubs. I've considered sharing this with the forum but the latest shot in the series demands a wider audience to see just how the locals round here enjoy having it large, or summat. Check it out! Some party. I can't help noticing a dearth of drinks on the tables. Is everyone waiting for someone else to buy a round? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,684 Posted May 31, 2008 The proposed Norman Foster-designed skyscraper round the corner from me has received a nod of disapproval from the government's architectural watchdog. Can't quite work out if I like the idea or not, or whether it's still actually going ahead; perhaps I should try going to those council meeting thingies I've heard about... It's officially called the Leaf but has been nicknamed the Penny Whistle. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Monoclinic 39 Posted May 31, 2008 The proposed Norman Foster-designed skyscraper round the corner from me has received a nod of disapproval from the government's architectural watchdog. Can't quite work out if I like the idea or not, or whether it's still actually going ahead; perhaps I should try going to those council meeting thingies I've heard about... It's officially called the Leaf but has been nicknamed the Penny Whistle. Is there much call for skyscrapers in Innis Chonain, is it the latest outsourcing post? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Handrejka 1,903 Posted May 31, 2008 The proposed Norman Foster-designed skyscraper round the corner from me has received a nod of disapproval from the government's architectural watchdog. Can't quite work out if I like the idea or not, or whether it's still actually going ahead; perhaps I should try going to those council meeting thingies I've heard about... It's officially called the Leaf but has been nicknamed the Penny Whistle. Looks better than the giant seagull they want to erect over here http://www.ddp.org.im/news/news.htm Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
honez 79 Posted June 1, 2008 Bah, that's nothing. Australia's got lots of big things, like the big banana, etc... Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Madame Defarge 21 Posted June 1, 2008 Here's the design for New York's new Tetanus Shot Freedom Tower: Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Godot 149 Posted June 1, 2008 The “Angel of the North” just outside Gateshead, now recognized as an icon of Britain was dubbed the “Angel of Death” by its many opponents in the early days. What pisses me off is the way the people who write this stuff make such sweeping assumptions. Many people may indeed like the AOTN but I don't. I think it's crap. I think a lot of this so-called public art (because it's big) is crap. But now people with no imagination (councillors etc) are all wanting some for their neck of the woods. Sooner or later we won't be able move for all this sh*t. It's happened before with the Eiffel Tower (which I also think is crap) and Blackpool which had to copy it with their own crap tower. Maybe there were Egyptians who said this sort of thing about the pyramids but couldn't be arsed saying it in hieroglyphics. Although here's one moaning about Cleopatra's needle: Translation: "Why do we need to have a stone bloody needle this big? It's a waste of money." Imhotep. Maybe there were people who thought Stonehenge was a blot on the landscape (it spoils a nice field as far as I'm concerned) but I suppose the Stonehenge councillors were very quickly claiming that they had supervised their own "icon of Britain." I bet if there had been newspapers in the Bronze Age they would have harped on about the "Salisbury folly" just as they did about the dome. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
TAFKAG 70 Posted June 1, 2008 Although here's one moaning about Cleopatra's needle: Translation: "Why do we need to have a stone bloody needle this big? It's a waste of money." Imhotep. Further translation: text speak for "in my humble opinion that's Egypt's problem". Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
Monoclinic 39 Posted June 1, 2008 Bah, that's nothing. Australia's got lots of big things, like the big banana, etc... Are we self-publicising there honez? Or is Bruce just over-compensating for what he may lack in his budgy smugglers? Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
honez 79 Posted June 1, 2008 Are we self-publicising there honez? Or is Bruce just over-compensating for what he may lack in his budgy smugglers? Nope, I've just been there, that's all. I've also seen the big Merino, the big pineapple, the big barra, the big shoe, and I'm sure there are a few others I can't recall off hand. But I assure you, I keep the big budgie under wraps ever since the court order. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
CarolAnn 926 Posted June 1, 2008 Every town needs one of these. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
maryportfuncity 10,639 Posted July 26, 2009 Speaking of localities, as we were just over a year ago on this thread. Anyone interested in coming to Carlisle for a shag for cash has one fewer options since the Cumbria police got involved. What has caused some hilarity and they can't legitimately print in the story is the notion that a black Jamacian woman with an accent to match thought she could wander around undetected in Carlisle. It's not exactly a white town, but.....you get my drift. Share this post Link to post Share on other sites
