Room 101

[Windsor 2,233]

Application forms that make no bloody sense.

 

I'm currently trying to fill in the qualifications section of one. It requires the full name of the subjects I studied in my degree, how many 'credits' they were worth, how long I studied them, and what percentage of the final mark they made up.

 

I am somehow supposed to fit in all of this information with a limit of 20 characters. The application itself has turned into a test of my problem solving skills.

 

As if that's not bad enough I have to write a 'personal statement' - so that's going to be a lie a minute.

[Fugitivewolf 0]

hangovers...

[harrymcnallysblueandwhitearmy 1,684]

While traditional graverobbing leeches such as the myriad Hendrixploitationeers do aggravate me, the Estate of Nick Drake winds me up even more with barrel scrapings like this (not to mention the VW adverts), after so long bleating in a holier-than-thou manner that his legacy would be treated with more respect than your average dead muso.

 

Ah, poor ol’ Big Hands, as if it isn’t enough to have 5,000 suicidal black-clad Italians smearing mascara over your headstone every year…

I'll admit I'm a tad precious when it comes to our Nicky, but the thought of Eddie Vedder bellowing his way through Riverman is more than I can countenance.

[Monoclinic 39]

The new MSN messenger 2009. It seems to have mucked up the contact groupss - now all lumped in one long list and there's this annoying What's New bit at the bottom scrolling through contact updates with little snippets of information they've added. Oh well at least my morph icon still works.

[Tuber Mirum 125]

MSN messenger was always shite.

[Windsor 2,233]

The new MSN messenger 2009. It seems to have mucked up the contact groupss - now all lumped in one long list and there's this annoying What's New bit at the bottom scrolling through contact updates with little snippets of information they've added. Oh well at least my morph icon still works.

 

According to my msn messenger screen, I'm talking to someone who is offline.

Amazing what computers can do these days...

[honez 79]

The new MSN messenger 2009. It seems to have mucked up the contact groupss - now all lumped in one long list and there's this annoying What's New bit at the bottom scrolling through contact updates with little snippets of information they've added. Oh well at least my morph icon still works.

 

According to my msn messenger screen, I'm talking to someone who is offline.

Amazing what computers can do these days...

That's nothing, John Edward claims to have been doing it for years. He doesn't even need a computer, just a fresh supply of gullible fools.

[CarolAnn 926]

High schools, managers and fathers. Not necessarily in that order.

 

Today is a good day to die.

[Windsor 2,233]

I hate students.

Don't know why this enrages me so much - it just does.

 

Bloody students - always taking up a cause. Try walking through any university campus without being handed a flyer.

You often get offered free ups of coffee in the street in campus - usually trying to convince you to buy fair trade.

Then there are the recycling people who make utterly useless contraptions out of used cola bottles.

When the blood donation people come you always get some smug shite come up to you saying how great it is to give blood.

Then there are the religious lot that try to tempt you to their church offering free hot chocolates - I only let him off because he was a looker.

Then there are the endless promotions offering you cheap alcohol - you can't be a student and not get drunk!

Then you get individual students letting you know their beliefs on t-shirts - "abortion is murder".

They always moan that the government doesn't do enough to help students financially - yet most of them can still afford top of the range stuff.

It's a f**king good job Gaza happened over the Christmas break - I don't think I could have hacked it!

 

Why do students have to be like that? Why can't they just get on with their work?

Perhaps I'm just ignorant.

 

I hate students.

 

[End of moan]

[honez 79]

I hate students.

...I only let him off because he was a looker.

So you must have caught the gay then.

[Windsor 2,233]

I hate students.

...I only let him off because he was a looker.

So you must have caught the gay then.

 

Its my own fault - I knew I shouldn't have gone to the panto twice...

[Phantom 2,533]

The word "Winningest".

It seems this word started to appear in the early 70s in the U.S. Probably because it was too much effort to say "most successfull"

[Windsor 2,233]

People who click their pens all the time for no reason. Why do that? Some guy constantly clicking his pen in the library today, and it pissed me off.

Not only that, but he did a fairly bizare thing - he wrote something down on his leg. Why would you do that? I thought that he may have been cheating in an exam or something, but surely there are better ways to cheat than write on your leg?

[Terminator 13]

but surely there are better ways to cheat than write on your leg?

 

Heather Mills (literally) swears by it...

[CarolAnn 926]

People who click their pens all the time for no reason. Why do that? Some guy constantly clicking his pen in the library today, and it pissed me off.

Not only that, but he did a fairly bizare thing - he wrote something down on his leg. Why would you do that? I thought that he may have been cheating in an exam or something, but surely there are better ways to cheat than write on your leg?

 

Yeah, I usually write it on my arm.

[Monoclinic 39]

French strikes. I can't really be bothered to detail my reasonings as there's absolutely no point. They acheive nothing, I'll acheive nothing and we'll all live happily until next thursday. (I was told November was strike season, as it was the "rentrée" (back to schoo/work), which incidently is in September, I feel it's not as regimented as shooting grouse and can in fact happen at any unforseen moment)

 

Instead of having less trams today they cut out the midle part of the line I take. Imagine a line going ABCD with stops in between. They decided in their wisdom to stop trams circulating between B and C but not A and B nor C and D. Okay, I have feet so all I had to endure was a cold 15 min walk, that isn't going to bring down any governments. However a ululating unihoof (© Anubis the Jackal, 29 JAN 2009) might have had a thing to say about such actions. Cockspanners.

[Anubis the Jackal 77]

"Zut Alors!" "Retournez enculer les mouches" and other gallic curses to you!

 

Okay, I have feet so all I had to endure was a cold 15 min walk, that isn't going to bring down any governments. However a ululating unihoof might have had a thing to say about such actions. Cockspanners.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

French strikes. I can't really be bothered to detail my reasonings as there's absolutely no point. They acheive nothing, I'll acheive nothing and we'll all live happily until next thursday. (I was told November was strike season, as it was the "rentrée" (back to schoo/work), which incidently is in September, I feel it's not as regimented as shooting grouse and can in fact happen at any unforseen moment)

 

Instead of having less trams today they cut out the midle part of the line I take. Imagine a line going ABCD with stops in between. They decided in their wisdom to stop trams circulating between B and C but not A and B nor C and D. Okay, I have feet so all I had to endure was a cold 15 min walk, that isn't going to bring down any governments. However a ululating unihoof (© Anubis the Jackal, 29 JAN 2009) might have had a thing to say about such actions. Cockspanners.

You are right, they wont achieve anything but by christ they are doing SOMETHING.

Here we all are, up sh*t creek being told by Captain Haddock that he, and he alone, can get us all out of the crap.

Quite amazing really as he spent eight years in total control of the Countrys finances/Economy, liased with his counterparts around the World in seminars, meetings and jollies, had his finger on the pulse of world Economics and yet he didnt see fook all coming. Would YOU have the twat up your Crows nest? Nah, me neither.

Hey, at least, as he stated, we have a robust economy.......

Meanwhile the British stiff upper lip remains stiff and we make him believe that we still love him.

Oh to be a bit more, er... French

[Monoclinic 39]

French strikes. I can't really be bothered to detail my reasonings as there's absolutely no point. They acheive nothing, I'll acheive nothing and we'll all live happily until next thursday. (I was told November was strike season, as it was the "rentrée" (back to schoo/work), which incidently is in September, I feel it's not as regimented as shooting grouse and can in fact happen at any unforseen moment)

 

Instead of having less trams today they cut out the midle part of the line I take. Imagine a line going ABCD with stops in between. They decided in their wisdom to stop trams circulating between B and C but not A and B nor C and D. Okay, I have feet so all I had to endure was a cold 15 min walk, that isn't going to bring down any governments. However a ululating unihoof (© Anubis the Jackal, 29 JAN 2009) might have had a thing to say about such actions. Cockspanners.

You are right, they wont achieve anything but by christ they are doing SOMETHING.

Here we all are, up sh*t creek being told by Captain Haddock that he, and he alone, can get us all out of the crap.

Quite amazing really as he spent eight years in total control of the Countrys finances/Economy, liased with his counterparts around the World in seminars, meetings and jollies, had his finger on the pulse of world Economics and yet he didnt see fook all coming. Would YOU have the twat up your Crows nest? Nah, me neither.

Hey, at least, as he stated, we have a robust economy.......

Meanwhile the British stiff upper lip remains stiff and we make him believe that we still love him.

Oh to be a bit more, er... French

 

Yes, but they strike for any God damn reason and haven't learnt that all this demonstrating amounts to nothing. Surely that alone demonstrates a lack of cerebral matter. In fact, they'd have more money if they spent less time striking! I have a strong urge to go up to one of them and say lizten veary carefoolly I shall say zhis only once, it's not mai 68 get back to work you clé de bitte! I'm sure some of the students are loving it, a chance to be raucous without really knowing what they're being raucous about. The rest, well those poor souls are most likely to be found on the slopes. Aujourd'hui comme il faisait beau...

[Windsor 2,233]

People who click their pens all the time for no reason. Why do that? Some guy constantly clicking his pen in the library today, and it pissed me off.

Not only that, but he did a fairly bizare thing - he wrote something down on his leg. Why would you do that? I thought that he may have been cheating in an exam or something, but surely there are better ways to cheat than to write on your leg?

 

Yeah, I usually write it on my arm.

 

Back in secondary school, people used to etch formulas on the card that was fixed into the lids of their calculators. Luckily all the invidulators were about 90, so they didn't notice anything.

Incidently, I didn't cheat in my maths exams - which may go some way to account for my sh*t performance in the subject.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

French strikes. I can't really be bothered to detail my reasonings as there's absolutely no point. They acheive nothing, I'll acheive nothing and we'll all live happily until next thursday. (I was told November was strike season, as it was the "rentrée" (back to schoo/work), which incidently is in September, I feel it's not as regimented as shooting grouse and can in fact happen at any unforseen moment)

 

Instead of having less trams today they cut out the midle part of the line I take. Imagine a line going ABCD with stops in between. They decided in their wisdom to stop trams circulating between B and C but not A and B nor C and D. Okay, I have feet so all I had to endure was a cold 15 min walk, that isn't going to bring down any governments. However a ululating unihoof (© Anubis the Jackal, 29 JAN 2009) might have had a thing to say about such actions. Cockspanners.

You are right, they wont achieve anything but by christ they are doing SOMETHING.

Here we all are, up sh*t creek being told by Captain Haddock that he, and he alone, can get us all out of the crap.

Quite amazing really as he spent eight years in total control of the Countrys finances/Economy, liased with his counterparts around the World in seminars, meetings and jollies, had his finger on the pulse of world Economics and yet he didnt see fook all coming. Would YOU have the twat up your Crows nest? Nah, me neither.

Hey, at least, as he stated, we have a robust economy.......

Meanwhile the British stiff upper lip remains stiff and we make him believe that we still love him.

Oh to be a bit more, er... French

 

Yes, but they strike for any God damn reason and haven't learnt that all this demonstrating amounts to nothing. Surely that alone demonstrates a lack of cerebral matter. In fact, they'd have more money if they spent less time striking! I have a strong urge to go up to one of them and say lizten veary carefoolly I shall say zhis only once, it's not mai 68 get back to work you clé de bitte! I'm sure some of the students are loving it, a chance to be raucous without really knowing what they're being raucous about. The rest, well those poor souls are most likely to be found on the slopes. Aujourd'hui comme il faisait beau...

How can I possibly counter that truth!

Its all rather perverse. The French strike too much and we demonstrate too little.

It would just be nice if the masses here had a one day demo just to let Captain Haddock and all the other minge faces in a position of lording it up over the rest of us know that the game is up.

It would be like Southampton supporters congregating outside the ground shouting " Rupert, you twat, fook off!!"

Oh they have already done that. Worked a treat...........

Actually Mono, I see your agument far more clearly now!

[Terminator 13]

Room 101 needs to include press coverage, guaranteed to waste pages on the claims that some teenager stabbed to death in the small hours of the morning was a "good boy", "went to church", "loved his mum" and the rest of that sh*te.

 

Given the overwhelming majority turn out to have a criminal record belying their years - and nasty little thugs who are better off this earth - why not wait a day or so before interviewing the family. As well as hearing their repetitious laments, the journalists could then ask them how can they be "angels", when they are actually downright vermin? Also to ask them, as grieving parents, to tell the cameras what they SHOULD have done to have reared their brood up properly.

[themaninblack 2,112]

Room 101 needs to include press coverage, guaranteed to waste pages on the claims that some teenager stabbed to death in the small hours of the morning was a "good boy", "went to church", "loved his mum" and the rest of that sh*te.

 

Given the overwhelming majority turn out to have a criminal record belying their years - and nasty little thugs who are better off this earth - why not wait a day or so before interviewing the family. As well as hearing their repetitious laments, the journalists could then ask them how can they be "angels", when they are actually downright vermin? Also to ask them, as grieving parents, to tell the cameras what they SHOULD have done to have reared their brood up properly.

 

The over-the-top funerals stick in my throat...

[Canadian Paul 97]

Room 101 needs to include press coverage, guaranteed to waste pages on the claims that some teenager stabbed to death in the small hours of the morning was a "good boy", "went to church", "loved his mum" and the rest of that sh*te.

 

Given the overwhelming majority turn out to have a criminal record belying their years - and nasty little thugs who are better off this earth - why not wait a day or so before interviewing the family. As well as hearing their repetitious laments, the journalists could then ask them how can they be "angels", when they are actually downright vermin? Also to ask them, as grieving parents, to tell the cameras what they SHOULD have done to have reared their brood up properly.

 

I agree to a certain extent; I started a discussion on the subject some time ago... doesn't seem like it ever got resolved, probably because it can't be.

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,218]

People who toot their horns at you because they are useless w**nkers.

For the 2nd time in two weeks ive had some flange filler bib their car horns inspite of the fact that THEY were driving like cock knockers.

This morning: The snow has fallen, not up to your testicles deep but deep enough to cause chaos.

Its my day off and Im taking Lady FN into work. I leave home and drive out onto the road that connects us to a main one. The snow is compacted, Im stuck behind a young bint and a passenger that looks like a half wit, probably a student (Winny excepted cause I like him) who is going that slowly my speedo needle isnt even registering.

As I come up to a fork in the road prior to its end, I take one fork to go around her. Result? Beep, Beep!!

Now the last time somebody did that I was prevented from getting out of my car by two sets of hands, Lady FN and my Daughter.

This time I got out. I explained to them that the very reason that this country grinds to a f*****g halt everytime a centimetre of snow falls is dickwads like them who drive slower than a Herniated slug can move.

"She is inexperienced!" says the half wit. "Well stay at f*****g home!!" I shout back.

Does nobody understand the concept of braking through the gears and treating the footbrake as the final resort? Does nobody know how to steer into the back end of the car as it breaks away? Can no one understand the principles of minute steering wheel movements? Anticipation of whats ahead? No, obviously not.

When I were a lad, we would treat the snow covered roads with respect and we would go to empty car parks, Industrial estates and sod around in our non power assisted steering, poor handling/braking tin boxes with shite heaters learning to drift our cars round corners, avoiding crashing and mastering the poor weather so we had total confidence that we could get around without killing ourselves or others.

Yes be cautious but, for f**ks sake, this isnt exactly Canada or the East Coast of the USA in the depths of winter. The snow is manageable, it would be A1 if they had bothered to grit, which i dont think they have and we had ploughs running 24/7 along the main routes.

Yes, we cant cope. Everytime it happens we grind to a halt BUT we as people have to take responsibility as well.

Too many people cant drive in it, too many dont want to walk in it and too many throw the towel in.

We have no backbone, I say, we have no fooking backbone!