Room 101

[charon 4,943]

[Deathray 2,940]

My nomination for room 101 is "bus people". Hear me out, I regularly ride the bus as it's my only way of getting about but I've come to realise how self-involved, ignorant and annoying bus people are.

 

Drivers: Normally decent folk 99.9% of the time, so why do I constantly get the 0.01% that don't have a fucking clue. Today I was on the border between two zones in my local area when attempting to board a bus got told I'd have to pay to the next stop so decided I'd save myself a couple of quid and walk to the next stop. Only to be told by the driver I'd have to pay more to get to the next stop (i.e 2 stops after the stop I'd been thrown off)? Obviously I couldn't argue with the bus driver over it as I'd be the one who'd look like a tosser. Also I buy a week ticket and they put it in a little cover, fair enough, however it takes about a minutes to put the ticket in the cover. Why can't they just hand me ticket with the cover to do it myself (it's not exactly rocket science) rather than holding a bus queue and a bus up for longer?

 

Teenagers/student: There discounted travel must cloud there fucking judgement. They take up far too much room and are often carrying pointless shit like musical instruments, satchels that apparently needs it's own cunting seats; why on earth can't you bastards squeeze those things in front of you, especially when buses start getting to standing room only. Bloody nora. They then get pissed off when you listen to their conversation, when you're talking at 90000 decibels what am I supposed to do pretend I can't hear you? I'm not even joining in, I'm just laughing at you and that's definitely at you not with you.

 

Phone w***er: There should be a rule against taking phone calls while on a bus unless it is a genuine emergency. I do not need you screaming at whoevers on the other end of the phone. These people go in the same category as bus arguments with two physical people. I don't even want you to answer a phone happily that's still annoying.

 

Bus Flirter: The morons who don't use bus rides as a way of getting from A to B but as a way of getting to D or V. It's genuinely creepy, and I'm sure a form of harassment but yet you still do it. Why do people attempt to chat totally random strangers up on the bus or at bus stops? Surely you realise the uncomfortable position you're putting that sod in and the way your ruining everybody elses journey, especially when the person has given you a total of 35 back off indicators (yes, I counted, bus journeys are boring).

 

Headphone Twats:, Please don't wear headphones on buses, especially if you're stupid enough to drop your ticket. When the bus driver then attempts to give you the ticket back as he's a jobsworth who can't let people travel without valid tickets the entire bus is stood still for ten minutes while the driver tries to fucking locate you. Also in headphones twats go those of you who play music so loud that the people five seats away can hear it, I really don't want to listen to your latest pop shite through crackly headphones.

 

Old People: I don't think I've ever heard anyone over the age of eighty have a meaningful conversation on a bus. I don't care about the telly you watch last night or your grandkids latest innocuous achievement. The thing that gets me the most though is the way you invade busses directly after the curfew on your pass limits has been placed and the way you get to the bus stop long before the curfew is lifted to queue up meaning those of us who arrived for the bus that we can actually get on time have to get past the waiting room for heaven on the way to our bus without bumping into you.

 

Bus Snoggers: Do I even have to explain what's wrong with these people?

[time 8,614]

My nomination for room 101 is "bus people". Hear me out, I regularly ride the bus as it's my only way of getting about but I've come to realise how self-involved, ignorant and annoying bus people are.

 

snip

 

Headphone Twats:

 

snip

 

I wear headphones on buses because

i) I don't want to hear other passengers conversations/arguments;

ii) I don't want to listen to someone's (half of a ) telephone conversation;

iii) I don't want to hear anyone else's tinny hiss from their headphones;

iv) Our local (almost monopoly) bus operator has decided that the best way to invest their revenue is in recorded announcements of what the next stop will be, which gets a tad irritating after the first couple of stops.

 

Does that make me a twat?

[Windsor 2,233]

My nomination for room 101 is "bus people". Hear me out, I regularly ride the bus as it's my only way of getting about but I've come to realise how self-involved, ignorant and annoying bus people are.

 

 

I used to take the bus to work mainly to save time. Sadly the bus I took was full of tinks, benefit scroungers, and 'auld hoors'.

I recall one morning a rather rough looking woman was boasting to her pal that the previous evening she had watched a 17 year old lad wank off over a webcam. Correct me if I am wrong, but that is illegal? Secondly, her husband/partner was sitting on the seat next to her backing up her story...

 

They always spoke quite loudly - not really caring that everybody could hear their conversations. Every second word was a swear. It wasn't uncommon for primary school age kids to be on the same bus on their way to school, but that didn't seem to stop them.

 

All of them were, to my knowledge, unemployed (except from webcam Jane herself who could make a pound or two online by watching old men shit everywhere) - but they took the bus down the road every morning for 9 o'clock.

 

Needless to say, I now walk to work. It takes over half an hour, and its normally cold and wet, but to be quite frank, it gets me away from those minks.

[Tempus Fugit 214]

Does that make me a twat?

 

Nah, you're a fucking cunt.

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=SZxTb01OgNE

[Toast 16,141]

Old People: I don't think I've ever heard anyone over the age of eighty have a meaningful conversation on a bus. I don't care about the telly you watch last night or your grandkids latest innocuous achievement. The thing that gets me the most though is the way you invade busses directly after the curfew on your pass limits has been placed and the way you get to the bus stop long before the curfew is lifted to queue up meaning those of us who arrived for the bus that we can actually get on time have to get past the waiting room for heaven on the way to our bus without bumping into you.

 

In the trade, these people are known as Twirlies. Because, clutching their bus passes, they say to the driver "Are we too early?"

[Bibliogryphon 9,586]

My nomination for room 101 is "bus people". Hear me out, I regularly ride the bus as it's my only way of getting about but I've come to realise how self-involved, ignorant and annoying bus people are.

 

Drivers: Normally decent folk 99.9% of the time, so why do I constantly get the 0.01% that don't have a fucking clue. Today I was on the border between two zones in my local area when attempting to board a bus got told I'd have to pay to the next stop so decided I'd save myself a couple of quid and walk to the next stop. Only to be told by the driver I'd have to pay more to get to the next stop (i.e 2 stops after the stop I'd been thrown off)? Obviously I couldn't argue with the bus driver over it as I'd be the one who'd look like a tosser. Also I buy a week ticket and they put it in a little cover, fair enough, however it takes about a minutes to put the ticket in the cover. Why can't they just hand me ticket with the cover to do it myself (it's not exactly rocket science) rather than holding a bus queue and a bus up for longer?

 

Teenagers/student: There discounted travel must cloud there fucking judgement. They take up far too much room and are often carrying pointless shit like musical instruments, satchels that apparently needs it's own cunting seats; why on earth can't you bastards squeeze those things in front of you, especially when buses start getting to standing room only. Bloody nora. They then get pissed off when you listen to their conversation, when you're talking at 90000 decibels what am I supposed to do pretend I can't hear you? I'm not even joining in, I'm just laughing at you and that's definitely at you not with you.

 

Phone w***er: There should be a rule against taking phone calls while on a bus unless it is a genuine emergency. I do not need you screaming at whoevers on the other end of the phone. These people go in the same category as bus arguments with two physical people. I don't even want you to answer a phone happily that's still annoying.

 

Bus Flirter: The morons who don't use bus rides as a way of getting from A to B but as a way of getting to D or V. It's genuinely creepy, and I'm sure a form of harassment but yet you still do it. Why do people attempt to chat totally random strangers up on the bus or at bus stops? Surely you realise the uncomfortable position you're putting that sod in and the way your ruining everybody elses journey, especially when the person has given you a total of 35 back off indicators (yes, I counted, bus journeys are boring).

 

Headphone Twats:, Please don't wear headphones on buses, especially if you're stupid enough to drop your ticket. When the bus driver then attempts to give you the ticket back as he's a jobsworth who can't let people travel without valid tickets the entire bus is stood still for ten minutes while the driver tries to fucking locate you. Also in headphones twats go those of you who play music so loud that the people five seats away can hear it, I really don't want to listen to your latest pop shite through crackly headphones.

 

Old People: I don't think I've ever heard anyone over the age of eighty have a meaningful conversation on a bus. I don't care about the telly you watch last night or your grandkids latest innocuous achievement. The thing that gets me the most though is the way you invade busses directly after the curfew on your pass limits has been placed and the way you get to the bus stop long before the curfew is lifted to queue up meaning those of us who arrived for the bus that we can actually get on time have to get past the waiting room for heaven on the way to our bus without bumping into you.

 

Bus Snoggers: Do I even have to explain what's wrong with these people?

 

"I am misanthropy and hate mankind" Apemantus in Timon of Athens.

[Bibliogryphon 9,586]

I will often get my haircut and nobody will notice and my job title is Environment & Sustainability Consultant.

Oh, you are such a cunt.

 

I liked RA's Eco friendly left leaning bent that fits for me too.

Correction, you are a mega-cunt.

 

Whoever removed it previously, go fuck yourself you self-righteous cunt.

 

Have we met?

[time 8,614]

I will often get my haircut and nobody will notice and my job title is Environment & Sustainability Consultant.

Oh, you are such a cunt.

 

I liked RA's Eco friendly left leaning bent that fits for me too.

Correction, you are a mega-cunt.

 

Whoever removed it previously, go fuck yourself you self-righteous cunt.

 

Have we met?

Tempus has learnt a new word at school.

[Bibliogryphon 9,586]

I will often get my haircut and nobody will notice and my job title is Environment & Sustainability Consultant.

Oh, you are such a cunt.

 

I liked RA's Eco friendly left leaning bent that fits for me too.

Correction, you are a mega-cunt.

 

Whoever removed it previously, go fuck yourself you self-righteous cunt.

 

Have we met?

Tempus has learnt a new word at school.

 

Obviously it wasn't Diplomacy

[Lady Grendel 139]

My nomination for room 101 is "bus people". Hear me out, I regularly ride the bus as it's my only way of getting about but I've come to realise how self-involved, ignorant and annoying bus people are.

 

Drivers: Normally decent folk 99.9% of the time, so why do I constantly get the 0.01% that don't have a fucking clue. Today I was on the border between two zones in my local area when attempting to board a bus got told I'd have to pay to the next stop so decided I'd save myself a couple of quid and walk to the next stop. Only to be told by the driver I'd have to pay more to get to the next stop (i.e 2 stops after the stop I'd been thrown off)? Obviously I couldn't argue with the bus driver over it as I'd be the one who'd look like a tosser. Also I buy a week ticket and they put it in a little cover, fair enough, however it takes about a minutes to put the ticket in the cover. Why can't they just hand me ticket with the cover to do it myself (it's not exactly rocket science) rather than holding a bus queue and a bus up for longer?

 

Teenagers/student: There discounted travel must cloud there fucking judgement. They take up far too much room and are often carrying pointless shit like musical instruments, satchels that apparently needs it's own cunting seats; why on earth can't you bastards squeeze those things in front of you, especially when buses start getting to standing room only. Bloody nora. They then get pissed off when you listen to their conversation, when you're talking at 90000 decibels what am I supposed to do pretend I can't hear you? I'm not even joining in, I'm just laughing at you and that's definitely at you not with you.

 

Phone w***er: There should be a rule against taking phone calls while on a bus unless it is a genuine emergency. I do not need you screaming at whoevers on the other end of the phone. These people go in the same category as bus arguments with two physical people. I don't even want you to answer a phone happily that's still annoying.

 

Bus Flirter: The morons who don't use bus rides as a way of getting from A to B but as a way of getting to D or V. It's genuinely creepy, and I'm sure a form of harassment but yet you still do it. Why do people attempt to chat totally random strangers up on the bus or at bus stops? Surely you realise the uncomfortable position you're putting that sod in and the way your ruining everybody elses journey, especially when the person has given you a total of 35 back off indicators (yes, I counted, bus journeys are boring).

 

Headphone Twats:, Please don't wear headphones on buses, especially if you're stupid enough to drop your ticket. When the bus driver then attempts to give you the ticket back as he's a jobsworth who can't let people travel without valid tickets the entire bus is stood still for ten minutes while the driver tries to fucking locate you. Also in headphones twats go those of you who play music so loud that the people five seats away can hear it, I really don't want to listen to your latest pop shite through crackly headphones.

 

Old People: I don't think I've ever heard anyone over the age of eighty have a meaningful conversation on a bus. I don't care about the telly you watch last night or your grandkids latest innocuous achievement. The thing that gets me the most though is the way you invade busses directly after the curfew on your pass limits has been placed and the way you get to the bus stop long before the curfew is lifted to queue up meaning those of us who arrived for the bus that we can actually get on time have to get past the waiting room for heaven on the way to our bus without bumping into you.

 

Bus Snoggers: Do I even have to explain what's wrong with these people?

 

Absolutely agree with every word of this. I have the misfortune to have to travel by bus every day to work, a one hour journey each way and come across many of the above. If you are lucky enough to live in a city with many transport options you can get off and wait a short time for another bus or grab another form of public transport, perhaps even a taxi if you feel like being fleeced for your hard earned cash. I only have the option of taking the 1 bus an hour that deigns to make it's (often late) way through my country town and I get the pleasure of paying £35 for 10 journeys every week, this is not a travel card that entitles me to hop on and off the the limited public transport available in the Scottish Borders it is strictly 10 journeys between my town and the town I work in, if for any reason I hop off early, say to visit a relative in the hospital the bus stops at I then have to use another one of those 10 journeys to continue on to work or pay a further fare. Anyway I digress.

 

Tonights journey was unbearable, there is gentleman, and I use that word loosely, that occasionally takes the bus I get that is a loudmouth alcoholic/drug addict with serious grievances about Scotland being 'run by the English' his words, not mine. He likes to mouth off to anyone who catches his eye, most of us know to avoid him but tonight some poor woman at the front made the mistake of smiling at him. A diatribe of disgusting infactual comments about the history of the union between England and Scotland ensued, he certainly didn't learn history at the same school I did. The bus driver was too scared of him to put him off as we requested so we had to listen to the bile spilling out of his mouth at top volume while he clutched a massive box of beer. We are all well aware of the upcoming referendum on Scottish Independence, hard to avoid with the constant media hype that is being pushed down our throats, we do not need to hear the racist views of an arsehole on our long journey home after work. I could perhaps understand (although not really) if he was Scottish and had suffered as many of us did, under Thatcher's brutal government cuts to Scottish industry but no, he is a cockney from London. I would swap him any day of the week for some twirlies.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

My nomination for room 101 is "bus people". Hear me out, I regularly ride the bus as it's my only way of getting about but I've come to realise how self-involved, ignorant and annoying bus people are.

 

 

I used to take the bus to work mainly to save time. Sadly the bus I took was full of tinks, benefit scroungers, and 'auld hoors'.

I recall one morning a rather rough looking woman was boasting to her pal that the previous evening she had watched a 17 year old lad wank off over a webcam. Correct me if I am wrong, but that is illegal? Secondly, her husband/partner was sitting on the seat next to her backing up her story...

 

 

You've finally met my mother then?

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Babies. Why can't the lazy little bastards just be born when they're supposed to be born, and not keep their great auntie awake for fucking nights on end PRETENDING that they're about to come out, and then deciding that actually, even though their mother has been in labour for 5 days now, they'll stay up there for just a bit longer. COME OUT YOU LITTLE SHIT, I'M TIRED AND REALLY VERY BUSY THIS WEEK!

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

Ha! Public humiliation obviously worked. Baby arrived this morning.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

Haha, peer pressure I guess. Get it? Peer? Pee also comes out there?

 

 

.......

 

*scratches ear*

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

Google fucking "updating" Chrome when I never asked them to and changing shit around.

[charon 4,943]

Uninstall it and install the version you want, then stop the updates.. . or just get Firefox.

 

http://support.imonggo.com/help/kb/browser/how-to-install-a-previous-version-of-chrome

 

even the website is suited to you

[Handrejka 1,904]

Having an erotic dream about someone you don't find at all attractive, not only is it embarrassing when you see them it also seem like such a waste. I don't have dirty dreams very often, why can't they be about someone fit?.

[themaninblack 2,112]

Who was it? Or is that too embarrassing?

[Handrejka 1,904]

It was someone I work with, but last time I had a dream like that it Kevin from Eggheads!

[Toast 16,141]

I'm quite lucky with my filthy dreams, think the last one featured Bruce Springsteen

[charon 4,943]

I'm quite lucky with my filthy dreams, think the last one featured Bruce Springsteen

 

He is a pensioner isn't he?

[Toast 16,141]

I'm quite lucky with my filthy dreams, think the last one featured Bruce Springsteen

 

He is a pensioner isn't he?

 

I don't think Bruce needs a pension

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

It was someone I work with, but last time I had a dream like that it Kevin from Eggheads!

 

JESUS CHRIST I now have images in my head that I will never un-see.

[Handrejka 1,904]

It was someone I work with, but last time I had a dream like that it Kevin from Eggheads!

 

JESUS CHRIST I now have images in my head that I will never un-see.

 

 

How do you think I feel ? Still, could be worse, could have involved Chris and Daphne.