Room 101

[Body Snatcher 44 107]

relieved for a college today and had a student with featal-alcohole syndrome, the first one I've ever had. really wild as you could image...the world can be a cruel place sometimes.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

It was someone I work with, but last time I had a dream like that it Kevin from Eggheads!

 

JESUS CHRIST I now have images in my head that I will never un-see.

 

 

How do you think I feel ? Still, could be worse, could have involved Chris and Daphne.

 

Or......the horror.......CJ.............

[Handrejka 1,904]

It was someone I work with, but last time I had a dream like that it Kevin from Eggheads!

 

JESUS CHRIST I now have images in my head that I will never un-see.

 

 

How do you think I feel ? Still, could be worse, could have involved Chris and Daphne.

 

Or......the horror.......CJ.............

 

Shudder

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

That fucking stupid mouthwash advert.

 

"Corsodyl. For people who spit blood when they brush their teeth."

 

Wow that's a catchy fucking slogan isn't it you dimwitted cunts? Thanks for making me think about people's bloody gums while I'm trying to eat/drink/whatever.

[Toast 16,140]

That fucking stupid mouthwash advert.

 

"Corsodyl. For people who spit blood when they brush their teeth."

 

Wow that's a catchy fucking slogan isn't it you dimwitted cunts? Thanks for making me think about people's bloody gums while I'm trying to eat/drink/whatever.

 

It makes your teeth turn brown. That would be an even catchier slogan.

[Lard Bazaar 3,799]

That fucking stupid mouthwash advert.

 

"Corsodyl. For people who spit blood when they brush their teeth."

 

Wow that's a catchy fucking slogan isn't it you dimwitted cunts? Thanks for making me think about people's bloody gums while I'm trying to eat/drink/whatever.

 

What's wrong with that? It says exactly what the product is for. I've said before that adverts should just tell the fucking truth and not waffle on about bollocks. Canasten Duo, for your itchy minge. Always Ultra, for when you're up on blocks. Chips - eat them. Etc, etc.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

That fucking stupid mouthwash advert.

 

"Corsodyl. For people who spit blood when they brush their teeth."

 

Wow that's a catchy fucking slogan isn't it you dimwitted cunts? Thanks for making me think about people's bloody gums while I'm trying to eat/drink/whatever.

 

What's wrong with that? It says exactly what the product is for. I've said before that adverts should just tell the fucking truth and not waffle on about bollocks. Canasten Duo, for your itchy minge. Always Ultra, for when you're up on blocks. Chips - eat them. Etc, etc.

 

Or........ Senokot - for when you're sitting there pushing out harder than a woman who's giving birth to octuplets and your face looks like a giant tomato in a pressure cooker.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

I'm so fucking sick of the slow internet. Is anyone else getting this crap? Every single day for the last fortnight now, just every day it goes through an inevitable and sometimes very long period where it takes a fucking age to load every page. I've tried switching the router off and on and some other tricks that usually "refresh" the connection or whatever, and it doesn't work this time.......

 

Can people please stop downloading so much porn/and or pirated PS4 games? Yes okay I know you're very excited that you managed to crack Sony's anti-theft piracy code or whatever....... but just give it a break for a while, eh? It feels like I'm back on dial-up.

[Toast 16,140]

Is this the only place left where people still die?

 

I am getting increasingly irritated hearing that somebody-or-other has "passed".

Not passed away, or passed on, time-honoured euphemisms both, but just "passed", like it's a driving test or summat.

Seems like people these days are afraid to say the word die (there I said it)

[Gunjaman5000 30]

Is this the only place left where people still die?

 

I am getting increasingly irritated hearing that somebody-or-other has "passed".

Not passed away, or passed on, time-honoured euphemisms both, but just "passed", like it's a driving test or summat.

Seems like people these days are afraid to say the word die (there I said it)

Due to my boundless maturity, whenever anyone talks about someone 'passing' or having 'passed', I like to silently add the word 'wind' afterwards. Only with great effort could I keep a straight face when a work-mate told me his grandmother had 'passed'.

 

I'm sad for him but really wish he'd had the nads to say 'died'. A euphemism for a euphemism?

 

Good Lord.

[Banshees Scream 110]

The month of March - comes in like a lion and out like a lamb. The snow is disappearing and the wind chimes are ringing. March is a grayish silver color to me and definitely not a green. What is normal? The average proportion and nothing out of the ordinary. I wouldn't say fuck normal but what if the normals had their limitations because normal is average and they can't want or be anything more than average.

[Tempus Fugit 214]

At a meeting with a Human Resources apparatchik they informed me that "cunt" was the most offensive word in the English language and wasn't appropriate for the workplace.

 

I informed them that my intention in using said word was to be as offensive as possible, therefore its use was apposite in the given circumstances.

 

They informed me that further use of said word would result in disciplinary action.

 

I informed them that they were an utter cunt.

 

I'm suspended, pending an investigation.

[Toast 16,140]

At a meeting with a Human Resources apparatchik they informed me that "cunt" was the most offensive word in the English language and wasn't appropriate for the workplace.

 

I informed them that my intention in using said word was to be as offensive as possible, therefore its use was apposite in the given circumstances.

 

They informed me that further use of said word would result in disciplinary action.

 

I informed them that they were an utter cunt.

 

I'm suspended, pending an investigation.

 

Good for you.

 

I find the term "Human Resources" offensive. It always makes me think of Soylent Green. What was wrong with "Personnel"?

[charon 4,943]

Should've went down the old policeman gag route...

 

"can you arrest (suspend) me for what I think?"

 

"No"

 

"Well, I think you're a cunt".....

[Bibliogryphon 9,586]

At a meeting with a Human Resources apparatchik they informed me that "cunt" was the most offensive word in the English language and wasn't appropriate for the workplace.

 

I informed them that my intention in using said word was to be as offensive as possible, therefore its use was apposite in the given circumstances.

 

They informed me that further use of said word would result in disciplinary action.

 

I informed them that they were an utter cunt.

 

I'm suspended, pending an investigation.

 

We once had a guy who used that term to describe a customer in an e-mail. Unfortunately they replied to the attachment e-mail not to the covering e-mail and it went out to the customer in question.

 

He then turned up late to his own disciplinary hearing.

 

I bumped into him a couple of years later when he had got a reasonably well paid job play testing computer games.

 

His name has now become a by-word for any e-mail related faux-pas in our organisation.

[Dr. Zorders 1,271]

At a meeting with a Human Resources apparatchik they informed me that "cunt" was the most offensive word in the English language and wasn't appropriate for the workplace.

 

I informed them that my intention in using said word was to be as offensive as possible, therefore its use was apposite in the given circumstances.

 

They informed me that further use of said word would result in disciplinary action.

 

I informed them that they were an utter cunt.

 

I'm suspended, pending an investigation.

 

We once had a guy who used that term to describe a customer in an e-mail. Unfortunately they replied to the attachment e-mail not to the covering e-mail and it went out to the customer in question.

 

He then turned up late to his own disciplinary hearing.

 

I bumped into him a couple of years later when he had got a reasonably well paid job play testing computer games.

 

His name has now become a by-word for any e-mail related faux-pas in our organisation.

 

His name's not Cunt is it? That would be a very ironic way for one of you guys to get fired too.

[themaninblack 2,112]

Job agencies. I fucking hate them.

 

As you might remember, I worked at an office last year with a bloke who called me a cunt and I had to bite my lip for 8 weeks until they let me go because it turned out they didn't need so many people for the task.

So the agency sent me to another place. The money's reasonable. The workplace was not. It was utter chaos. One of the chaps who was hired with me left after three weeks, I soon followed. It was a real clusterfuck: A bastard to get to (on public transport - two buses), very inflexible in terms of their work hours, so If I was late (which I often was thanks to the traffic), there was no time to catch up. The work procedures was dizzily complex and you weren't really trained as such, just told when you were going wrong (yeah, thanks for that). The atmosphere you could cut with a knife: everyone was basically working for themselves and not the team. The team leader who hired me fucked to another job in the big smoke leaving it pretty much rudderless. Worst of all was a colleague, some young tart who kept annoyingly speaking to me like every sentence was a question? Constantly picking on me for making mistakes (that were often not even mistakes just me doing things in my on way to the same ends, just not her way). My stomach problems returned, I couldn't sleep, I'm back smoking again (albeit the e-cigarette variety). I tend to compartmenatlise: Work is work, home is home, but I was worrying about the next day at work when I was at home.

So I quit that. Supervisor was a bit non-plussed and seemed unsympathetic.

Next up: usher at a magistrates court. Not great pay but absolutely fascinating stuff. Meet all sorts of people, no office computer work, great people to work with and on Friday I met one of the most beautiful women I have ever met...and she was a policewoman! Got to grips with it fairly quickly, trained properly, nicely eased into it. It's chaos but it's manageable chaos, it has to be in court, it's like shifting sand. A lost of rushing about but also a lot of sitting around and waiting.

This will do me for now, I thought.

Then on Monday when I finished work, I went out the side entrance, dipped into my pocket to look at my phone to the time when POP! Rolled onto my ankle, badly.

Managed to stumble home, where I saw a nurse at the local surgery. No bones broken but a big swollen lump. Treated it with ice that night. The next day it felt saw and looked only slightly discoloured and I could walk on it, albeit gingerly. I decided to go into work, this time at the county court. Long day to'ing and fro'ing, then I attended a football match later on (tickets were bought, what could I do?). Came in 10.30pm, took my sock off...it was like someone had attacked it with a hammer!

I shouldn't have went in on Tuesday or gone to the match, I admit that now. So I rang in early and said that I was taking the day off and see the doctor. Unfortunately when I rang later, they only had the following day (today) in the afternoon. So I have spent the last 24 hours regularly treating it with ice. Rang in again this morning to say that I wouldn't be in.

Then I get a call from my supervisor. "I could have got an appointment quicker" she said. And "You've only been there two weeks!" "So you're just going to have the day off. You could have done some office work." Best of all was "you have to think it is right for you, not what the Doctor says."

Right, I see. I thought it would be "right" on Tuesday and then look what happened. And that's kind of what Doctors are for I would have thought, to advise when things like this happen.

I've had nothing but misery and frustration and now injury since I signed up to that bastard agency and they expect you to take this shit all the time and act like a fucking robot.

Fuck 'em...

[Rotten Ali 600]

You poor sod...

If you worked for me, I would at least be a tad understanding and ask you to take a few days to knock back. No big problem, get back ASAP but when you are at least 90%.

 

Best of luck mate with the cruel world we all live in.

[Banshees Scream 110]

Why not say the money isn't unreasonable and life's a breeze, MIB. Come down to earth and let someone else be miserable. Leave the printer alone.

[DevonDeathTrip 2,358]

The "name a million dead people" thread. I'm really struggling not to abuse my mod powers by locking it. But it's hard to overcome my own personal prejudices in the face of such a monumental pile of crap.

[Tempus Fugit 214]

The "name a million dead people" thread. I'm really struggling not to abuse my mod powers by locking it. But it's hard to overcome my own personal prejudices in the face of such a monumental pile of crap.

 

Go on, lock it, delete it, kill it with extreme prejudice. It's a pile of shite.

[Deathray 2,940]

The "name a million dead people" thread. I'm really struggling not to abuse my mod powers by locking it. But it's hard to overcome my own personal prejudices in the face of such a monumental pile of crap.

 

What exactly about it do you take issue with?

[Toast 16,140]

The "name a million dead people" thread. I'm really struggling not to abuse my mod powers by locking it. But it's hard to overcome my own personal prejudices in the face of such a monumental pile of crap.

 

I quite like it, but it would have been better if there was some sort of link required. Like word association, or summat. So it would go

 

Martin Luther King

George VI

Colin Firth (except he's not dead, but you get the drift)

[Paul Bearer 6,102]

The "name a million dead people" thread. I'm really struggling not to abuse my mod powers by locking it. But it's hard to overcome my own personal prejudices in the face of such a monumental pile of crap.

You're a mod. You won't be abusing your powers, you have the power.

[Deathray 2,940]

The "name a million dead people" thread. I'm really struggling not to abuse my mod powers by locking it. But it's hard to overcome my own personal prejudices in the face of such a monumental pile of crap.

You're a mod. You won't be abusing your powers, you have the power.