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Cowboy Ronnie

Super Fun Dl 2008 V2

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Time to make official a bandied-about idea which is to have an alternative DL 2008 that will be a list of those who statistically aren't that likely to die next year, but would be fun to select anyway. It will harken back more than a little to the spirit of the original list, and will very definitely not be a list of semi-obscure 90 year olds. A few suggested stipulations:

 

1. no one over the age of 60. We could make it 50, but I want to nominate the Hoff, and I think he's over 50;

 

2. non humans should be ok. Mono wants to put Belgium forward which I'd happily second. A few people have asked about animals, which would be ok too;

 

3. there should be some no low-hanging fruit rules, so if some famous 22 year old happens to be on death row with a confirmed execution date, they should be left off;

 

4. let's strive to have a list of the unarguably famous, e.g. Amy Winehouse's hubby is about as unfamous as I'd want it to go;

 

5. one "any one" nomination would be good, as long as it stays within the parameters of the original "any one Beatle" nomination in that it can't be too wide a pool and it can't be too safe a bet (there were three living Beatles when the pick was made, all of whom were in pretty decent health at the time);

 

Nominations, suggestions of other rules guidelines, etc welcome.

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I'm going for Alain Robert, 42, the chap who climbs tall buildings without safety equipment.

 

I know you're a bit of a purist, CR, but he is bloody famous. Or he will be bloody and famous when he falls of a skyscraper.

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Any one Spice Girl - or is Gerry over 60?

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Guest Advisor

OK Ronnie I mainly agree with your standard set of rules besides the animal suggestion which I'm not crazy about. Figure a list of (25) celebrities under the age of 60 or (65) who either live - dice rolling lives or who are shooting heroin or you just completely hate them 'ex

 

In no exact order since I'm thinking right here off the top of my head. I'm going for the 'Anna Nicole Smith' kind of shocker.

 

1. Joanie Laurer - better known as 'Chyna' from wrestling who has had various drug problems and the list hits the floor.

 

2. Mike Tyson - He has a tattoo on his face. His nose will look like Darryl Strawberry soon. He has a speech impediment.

 

3. Artie Lange - Stand up comedian and radio personality. A modern Chris Farley who is now off heroin but over 300 pounds.

 

4. Courtney Love. She's just crazy.

 

5. The crew from 'Jack Ass' I know Johnny Knoxville is one of the prime contributers. It's waiting to happen.

 

Now I'm not for any of these young Hollywood magazine queens, because I feel disgusted giving them attention since I doubt any of them are going to drop dead. All in all I think it's a good idea, just with some reasonable rules. No countries and no animals. Or 'maybe' one animal but no countries.

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1 Gazza

2 Diego Maradona

3 Britney Spears

4 Pete Doherty

5 Amy Winehouse

6 Jocky Wilson (Darts player)

7 Alex Higgins

8 Tony Blair

9 Pervez Musharraf

10 Jacques Villeneuve

11 Anton Ferdinand (Colossally stupid & drives fast cars.. look at QPR's Ray Jones..)

12 George Michael

13 Eddie Van Halen

14 Doku Umarov

15 Caroline Aherne

16 Ian Huntley

17 Princess Anne

18 Morgan Tsivingarai

19 Whitney Houston

20 Charlie Sheen

21 Michelle Rodriguez

22 Tom Sizemore

23 Sir Salman Rushdie

24 Shane McGowan

25 Iggy Pop

26 Mike Gregory

27 Barack Obama

28 Ashley & Mary Kate Olsen

29 Ozzy Osbourne

30 Ronnie O'Sullivan

31 Norman Whiteside

32 Kate McCann

33 Niki Lauda

34 Tommy Lee

35 Jeremy Kyle

36 Lindsey Lohan

37 Courtney Love

38 Ray Kennedy

39 Billy Joel

40 Prince Harry

41 Janez Drnovsek

42 Jeremy Clarkson

43 Robbie Coltrane

44 David Boon

45 Bobby Brown

46 Keith Allen

47 Nouri Al- Maliki

48 Leslie Ash

49 Gil Scott-Heron

50 Clive Dunn

 

 

Please send the cheque in the post... :crossbone:

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A few others that have been discussed, and not mentioned by OoO:

 

Paris, Mindy Mac, Jeff Healey, Tommy Smith, Owen Wilson, Paul Fox, Terri Garr, Andy Fordham, Philip Chevron, Seve, Grete Waitz, Grant Achatz, Langham, Dawn French, Toni Braxton, Osama.

 

God, why the f**k am I doing this?! I've caught all this listomania bollocks off all you boring twats, haven't I? :crossbone:

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God, why the f**k am I doing this?! I've caught all this listomania bollocks off all you boring twats, haven't I? :)

 

Bwa Ha Ha! Another victim! :crossbone:

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Any one of... Crosby, Stills & Nash?

Or any one of the Stones (only because Keef doesn't like being left off of deathlists.)

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I should like to nominate Fernando Alonso. Mad as a Spaniard and jealous like a school girl, there's a strong possibility he'll try a bit too hard to get past Lewis Hamilton at the final corner making it his final corner.

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Bear Grylls is not going to die of old age, not yet anyway. Neither is he likely to die from his "death defying" stunts. But, who knows, he might just fall under a bus.

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These are excellent suggestions, and to address DDT's nominee, that annoying Spider Man guy definitely pops up on the news enough that he passes the fame test. Also, if he were to die in 2008 it would likely be because he fell several thousand feet to his death, and that would make the pages of all the world's papers. Hopefully the TV news too if there's video highlights, which in this day and age I'd pretty much expect.

 

Please keep the nominees coming in, and maybe we'll work up a few drafts lists and get some overall consensus for at least 25 or so of the names.

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Richard 'The C-word' Branson

 

LAS VEGAS, Nevada, Oct. 11, 2007 (NBC) -- An amazing Las Vegas publicity stunt almost ended in disaster Wednesday night for British billionaire Sir Richard Branson.

 

Branson fell 40 stories from the top of the Palms Hotel to kick off the launch his latest multi-billion dollar enterprise, an extension of his low-cost airline Virgin America. But Branson came down faster than anyone expected.

 

In the middle of the fall, a gust of wind slammed his backside and left hand into the side of the building. It nearly ripped his pants off and caused some painful but not serious injuries.

Hopefully.

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Branson. ... Branson fell ... Branson came ... It nearly ripped his pants off and caused some painful but not serious injuries.
Hopefully.

The only time Branson stops making a C-word of himself these days, is when he takes a short break to be a self-aggrandizing, megalomaniacal C-word elsewhere.

 

I'd like to submit the following scenario:

Steve Fossett is found, alive and well. He and Branson embark on another epic edge-of-space balloon extravaganza. Mid-flight, (insert mechanical malfunction here) and Branson plummets earthwards, landing squarely on top of Rupert Murdoch as he applies his morning haemorrhoid cream, killing both of the c**ts.

Steve Fossett embarks on another epic ballooning adventure, accompanied by gastro-C-word Jamie Oliver filming a "live, wecord-bwaking edge-of-thpace cookewy lethon". The "lethons of hithtory" not learned sufficiently well, however, (insert improbable but nonetheless satisfying mechanical malfunction here) and Jamie's oxygen supply is cut off. Literally dozens of his fans watch him slowly suffocate, separated from a smirking Steve Fossett's oxygen-rich half of the gondola/capsule by the thickness of a toughened-glass partition (installed to prevent the smell of freshly-chopped shallots from tearing-up Fossett's eyes as he navigates), live on tv.

One grief-crazed Jamie Oliver fan takes up arms and storms the set of the Ready Steady Cook Christmas Special, needlessly (but rather pleasingly) ending the careers, and lives, of Gary Rhodes, Ainsley Harriot, Anthony Worrell-Thompson and a few other professional arseholes I can't remember right now. Somewhere in the midst of this commotion, the ubiquitous king of smug James Nesbitt is felled by a stray bullet, the bloody ricochet striking Pete Doherty to the temple, killing him almost instantly. Doherty falls, syringe-first, into Vanessa Feltz's lap. She pours her freshly-purchased half-gallon cup of McDonald's coffee into the lap of the gentleman sat to her immediate left, one Simon Cowell. It's alright though, folks, it doesn't kill him; it just causes horrendous burns and permanent disfigurement. In shock, his left arm swings out violently, breaking Graham Norton's nose; an injury from which he later dies.

Somewhere else in the midst of all this, Alastair Campbell's cold, evil heart is impaled by the pointed end of a falling anvil. Upon hearing the news of this mass fatality, Ant & Dec carry out a suicide pact, shoving paracetamol up each other until they burst.

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Branson. ... Branson fell ... Branson came ... It nearly ripped his pants off and caused some painful but not serious injuries.
Hopefully.

The only time Branson stops making a C-word of himself these days, is when he takes a short break to be a self-aggrandizing, megalomaniacal C-word elsewhere.

 

I'd like to submit the following scenario:

Steve Fossett is found, alive and well. He and Branson embark on another epic edge-of-space balloon extravaganza. Mid-flight, (insert mechanical malfunction here) and Branson plummets earthwards, landing squarely on top of Rupert Murdoch as he applies his morning haemorrhoid cream, killing both of the c**ts.

Steve Fossett embarks on another epic ballooning adventure, accompanied by gastro-C-word Jamie Oliver filming a "live, wecord-bwaking edge-of-thpace cookewy lethon". The "lethons of hithtory" not learned sufficiently well, however, (insert improbable but nonetheless satisfying mechanical malfunction here) and Jamie's oxygen supply is cut off. Literally dozens of his fans watch him slowly suffocate, separated from a smirking Steve Fossett's oxygen-rich half of the gondola/capsule by the thickness of a toughened-glass partition (installed to prevent the smell of freshly-chopped shallots from tearing-up Fossett's eyes as he navigates), live on tv.

One grief-crazed Jamie Oliver fan takes up arms and storms the set of the Ready Steady Cook Christmas Special, needlessly (but rather pleasingly) ending the careers, and lives, of Gary Rhodes, Ainsley Harriot, Anthony Worrell-Thompson and a few other professional arseholes I can't remember right now. Somewhere in the midst of this commotion, the ubiquitous king of smug James Nesbitt is felled by a stray bullet, the bloody ricochet striking Pete Doherty to the temple, killing him almost instantly. Doherty falls, syringe-first, into Vanessa Feltz's lap. She pours her freshly-purchased half-gallon cup of McDonald's coffee into the lap of the gentleman sat to her immediate left, one Simon Cowell. It's alright though, folks, it doesn't kill him; it just causes horrendous burns and permanent disfigurement. In shock, his left arm swings out violently, breaking Graham Norton's nose; an injury from which he later dies.

Somewhere else in the midst of all this, Alastair Campbell's cold, evil heart is impaled by the pointed end of a falling anvil. Upon hearing the news of this mass fatality, Ant & Dec carry out a suicide pact, shoving paracetamol up each other until they burst.

 

Can Anthea Turner be a guest on Ready Steady Cook that day?

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I kinda like Simon Cowell, who has no problem calling bullshit when he sees it. He's probably done more for British credibility in the US than the likes of Oasis, Blur, Hugh Grant, Robbie Williams, and Take That combined.

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Branson. ... Branson fell ... Branson came ... It nearly ripped his pants off and caused some painful but not serious injuries.
Hopefully.

The only time Branson stops making a C-word of himself these days, is when he takes a short break to be a self-aggrandizing, megalomaniacal C-word elsewhere.

 

I'd like to submit the following scenario:

Steve Fossett is found, alive and well. He and Branson embark on another epic edge-of-space balloon extravaganza. Mid-flight, (insert mechanical malfunction here) and Branson plummets earthwards, landing squarely on top of Rupert Murdoch as he applies his morning haemorrhoid cream, killing both of the c**ts.

Steve Fossett embarks on another epic ballooning adventure, accompanied by gastro-C-word Jamie Oliver filming a "live, wecord-bwaking edge-of-thpace cookewy lethon". The "lethons of hithtory" not learned sufficiently well, however, (insert improbable but nonetheless satisfying mechanical malfunction here) and Jamie's oxygen supply is cut off. Literally dozens of his fans watch him slowly suffocate, separated from a smirking Steve Fossett's oxygen-rich half of the gondola/capsule by the thickness of a toughened-glass partition (installed to prevent the smell of freshly-chopped shallots from tearing-up Fossett's eyes as he navigates), live on tv.

One grief-crazed Jamie Oliver fan takes up arms and storms the set of the Ready Steady Cook Christmas Special, needlessly (but rather pleasingly) ending the careers, and lives, of Gary Rhodes, Ainsley Harriot, Anthony Worrell-Thompson and a few other professional arseholes I can't remember right now. Somewhere in the midst of this commotion, the ubiquitous king of smug James Nesbitt is felled by a stray bullet, the bloody ricochet striking Pete Doherty to the temple, killing him almost instantly. Doherty falls, syringe-first, into Vanessa Feltz's lap. She pours her freshly-purchased half-gallon cup of McDonald's coffee into the lap of the gentleman sat to her immediate left, one Simon Cowell. It's alright though, folks, it doesn't kill him; it just causes horrendous burns and permanent disfigurement. In shock, his left arm swings out violently, breaking Graham Norton's nose; an injury from which he later dies.

Somewhere else in the midst of all this, Alastair Campbell's cold, evil heart is impaled by the pointed end of a falling anvil. Upon hearing the news of this mass fatality, Ant & Dec carry out a suicide pact, shoving paracetamol up each other until they burst.

 

Can Anthea Turner be a guest on Ready Steady Cook that day?

 

And Kerry Katona too. Please?

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Guest Guest_Star Crossed_*

'Can't log in' reminds me of when I first joined this bloody friggin forum.

 

This is my letter of rules which I dearly hope can be approved by the grand committee.

 

1. 'A list of twenty five' entrants. All whome could possibly achieve the all-mighty obituary.

 

2. Quality O quality. I will commit ever lasting sin if I find this list is whorish. I will be like Ponchos Pilot in a verbal sense, I will be swerving out toilet words like the swerve of a fifteenth century torch in the face of a suspected fruit snatcher. I will be like a Cathlic boy who on one Sunday just told his mother 'f**k you bitch' I'm sleeping late. If feces such as this was ever to transcended into my world and if one were to get a glance at my ripe face, you would be able to see the cocaine at work in my eyes.

 

3. The 'Any one Beatle' method can be the joker at slot twenty five. The 'Jack Ass cast' is a brilliant suggestion and it should be enriched on the surface of high consideration. The addition of 'countries' should arouse the bright minded souls who roam the floor of this gigantic rock that we label earth. Although I for one must object the addition of much hated countries, for if we could add countries other boundaries would be doors open for suggestion. If that were the agreement I would try and persuade the concept of 'sales man' who knock on your door until their fists bleed. They knock on your door like peasant children who are desperate for warm milk and stale rye bread. In my life this intolerant act has taken course and being one who enjoys the relaxation of silence, I marched to the opening of my kingdom and I RIPPED THOSE c**ts A NEW ASSHOLE c**ts. So in all fairness - No countries.

 

'At this very moment I must confess that I was pinched on my thigh by Fellatio Nelson here in the twilight of early evening. Fellatio Nelson has retreated with a stroll and a get back stair that can be in comparison to a Kings 'most valued' Knights hooker. The horizon of realization has just overwhelmed me as if I have just been angelically stroked on my ' scratched coffee table forehead which has more lines then 'Lindsay Lohan has in front of her on a Saturday night'

 

At this very moment I felt like Lou Gehrig 'No I don't have a disease named after me' I felt like the luckiest man in the world.

 

At this very moment I stand up with my hands pointing to the heavens in gushing grace. I feel as if the world as I know it is breaking free - from me.

 

I swiftly rock my head ----- From Left---- To Right

 

The song from the cars 'It's Magic' plays in high Def. 'It must be Fellatio Nelson' I murmur to myself

 

I feel as if a happy ending to a long running sitcom had entered my life, but then again I felt as if I were only at the premier. I felt as if 'for just a moment' that I were Drew Carey at the premier of the Drew Carey show with the back round sound of 'Cleveland Rocks'

 

The glory is in jeopardy as ... knocking echoes from behind my front door. I approach

 

And as I aggressively turn the knob

 

(The End)

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Guest Guest

Next year's list should be:

 

1. Fidel Castro

2. Ariel Sharon

3. Boris Efimov

4. Tony Snow

5. Annette Funicello

6. Sydney Pollack

7. Albert Hoffmann

8. Oscar Neimeyer

9. Claude Levi-Strauss

10. Anita Page

11. Robert Mugabe

12. Ronnie Biggs

13. Hugues Cuenod

14. Isabel Peron

15. Suharto

16. Barbara Kent

17. Maureen O'Hara

18. Mark Felt

19. Frank Cady

20. Dom Mintoff

21. Eli Wallach

22. Yitzhak Shamir

23. Nelson Mandela

24. Olivia De Haviland

25. Kirk Douglas

26. Elizabeth Taylor

27. Margarete Thatcher

28. Vera Lynn

29. Patrick Moore

30. Muhammad Ali

31. Karl Malden

32. R. Sargent Shriver

33. Mitch Miller

34. Ian Huntley

35. JD Salinger

36. Dino de Laurentis

37. Jake Lamotta

38. Jeff Healey

39. Johannes Heesters

40. Luise Ranier

41. Levi Stubbs

42. Donna Fargo

43. Phyllis A. Whitney

44. Frederica Sagor Maas

45. Lena Horne

46. Fats Domino

47. Abdul Aziz al-Hakim

48. Barbara Streisand

49. Captain Beefheart

50. Clive Dunn

 

 

 

Post repaired [HCW]

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Of course there's always a chance the rubber band might snap one day.

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How about this prize C-word.....

 

How this bastard is still alive I'll never know...

 

 

:P

MacKenzie is a foolish man. Obviously he has never read P G Wodehouse:

 

"It is never difficult to distinguish between a Scotsman with a grievance and a ray of sunshine."

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don't forget Gordon Ramsay ... and anyone else who prostitutes limited talent for reality TV, but especially him

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