DL Status Updates: Statements, Obsevations & Verbal Tennis

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,220]

I'm going to be a (far too young) great aunt in November.

 

I'm going to be a (far too young) step-great uncle in September.

(Making my sister a step-grandmother aged 27).

 

 

My step-niece's grandfather is my step-nephew's father. Work that one out if you can.

Easy.

You are all inbred.

[Rotten Ali 600]

I'm going to be a (far too young) great aunt in November.

 

I'm going to be a (far too young) step-great uncle in September.

(Making my sister a step-grandmother aged 27).

 

 

My step-niece's grandfather is my step-nephew's father. Work that one out if you can.

Easy.

You are all inbred.

 

Hay - come on that's a very sweeping statement.

More like "a whole load of you are inbred, in a similar way to those I've well noticed in Norfolk!

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

I'm going to be a (far too young) great aunt in November.

 

I'm going to be a (far too young) step-great uncle in September.

(Making my sister a step-grandmother aged 27).

 

 

My step-niece's grandfather is my step-nephew's father. Work that one out if you can.

Easy.

You are all inbred.

 

Very funny Norfolk Knackers, at least I don't wash myself with a rag on a stick

 

Actually, they're my step-folk - not blood related - nothing to do with me guv, no sirree! Now, where's my banjo.........

[Lord Fellatio Nelson 6,220]

I'm going to be a (far too young) great aunt in November.

 

I'm going to be a (far too young) step-great uncle in September.

(Making my sister a step-grandmother aged 27).

 

 

My step-niece's grandfather is my step-nephew's father. Work that one out if you can.

Easy.

You are all inbred.

 

Very funny Norfolk Knackers, at least I don't wash myself with a rag on a stick

 

Actually, they're my step-folk - not blood related - nothing to do with me guv, no sirree! Now, where's my banjo.........

Now thats a phrase I havent heard before

[Handrejka 1,904]

I now am a (still far too young) great aunt. I just had a quick look on wiki to see with whom my grand nephew shares a birthday and was rather dismayed that he shares it with Carl Starkweather and Ted Bundy!

[lastorders 15]

I've just seen I share my birthday with Dick Van Dyke (Gaw'd blimey Mawry Poppins!) - He's 85... might be worth adding to my DL next year as a lucky charm

 

FROM WIKI " In 2010, he claimed to have been rescued from drifting out to sea and possible death by a pod of porpoises" hmmm interesting.

 

 

Unfortunately the day is also with shared with Jim Davidson. He's only 56 but as he's such a twat I might add him anyway. With a bit of luck he'll get rat arsed drunk and total another car (again)... Or try to wife beat another woman (again) and she runs him through with a red hot poker.

[RIP Wee Jum 1,559]

I've just seen I share my birthday with Dick Van Dyke (Gaw'd blimey Mawry Poppins!) - He's 85... might be worth adding to my DL next year as a lucky charm

 

FROM WIKI " In 2010, he claimed to have been rescued from drifting out to sea and possible death by a pod of porpoises" hmmm interesting.

 

 

Unfortunately the day is also with shared with Jim Davidson. He's only 56 but as he's such a twat I might add him anyway. With a bit of luck he'll get rat arsed drunk and total another car (again)... Or try to wife beat another woman (again) and she runs him through with a red hot poker.

 

After reading lastorders post, I had a look at who I share a birthday with

 

Does anybody remember the tv show Blossom ?. I share a birthday with Jenna Von Oy who played Blossoms mate Six. We were both born on 2nd May 1977

 

Other people include former WWE wrestlers The Rock and The Big Boss Man, loads of football players including Chris Kirkland, David Nugent, Zat Knight and Horacio Carbonari, Donatella Versace, actor David Suchet who played Poirot, gardener Alan Titchmarsh, snooker players Jimmy White and Steve James, cricketer Brian Lara and Mick Jaggers ex Bianca Jagger

[thefunkyfaz 51]

I've just seen I share my birthday with Dick Van Dyke (Gaw'd blimey Mawry Poppins!) - He's 85... might be worth adding to my DL next year as a lucky charm

 

FROM WIKI " In 2010, he claimed to have been rescued from drifting out to sea and possible death by a pod of porpoises" hmmm interesting.

 

 

Unfortunately the day is also with shared with Jim Davidson. He's only 56 but as he's such a twat I might add him anyway. With a bit of luck he'll get rat arsed drunk and total another car (again)... Or try to wife beat another woman (again) and she runs him through with a red hot poker.

 

After reading lastorders post, I had a look at who I share a birthday with

 

Does anybody remember the tv show Blossom ?. I share a birthday with Jenna Von Oy who played Blossoms mate Six. We were both born on 2nd May 1977

 

Other people include former WWE wrestlers The Rock and The Big Boss Man, loads of football players including Chris Kirkland, David Nugent, Zat Knight and Horacio Carbonari, Donatella Versace, actor David Suchet who played Poirot, gardener Alan Titchmarsh, snooker players Jimmy White and Steve James, cricketer Brian Lara and Mick Jaggers ex Bianca Jagger

 

My turn! I was born on the same day as Nick "I've Had Jessica Simpson" Lachey - November 9, 1973. Although he does look annoyingly younger than me.

Other famous November 9th birthdays include Delta Goodrem, the wrestler Chris Jericho, Bryn Terfel, Pepa off of Salt n Pepa, Jill Dando, Tony Slattery, Lou "The Hulk" Ferrigno and King Edward VII. Oh, and Spiro Agnew. And lots of people on Wikipedia that I haven't heard of.

[Madame Defarge 21]

I've just seen I share my birthday with Dick Van Dyke (Gaw'd blimey Mawry Poppins!) - He's 85... might be worth adding to my DL next year as a lucky charm

 

FROM WIKI " In 2010, he claimed to have been rescued from drifting out to sea and possible death by a pod of porpoises" hmmm interesting.

 

 

Unfortunately the day is also with shared with Jim Davidson. He's only 56 but as he's such a twat I might add him anyway. With a bit of luck he'll get rat arsed drunk and total another car (again)... Or try to wife beat another woman (again) and she runs him through with a red hot poker.

 

After reading lastorders post, I had a look at who I share a birthday with

 

Does anybody remember the tv show Blossom ?. I share a birthday with Jenna Von Oy who played Blossoms mate Six. We were both born on 2nd May 1977

 

Other people include former WWE wrestlers The Rock and The Big Boss Man, loads of football players including Chris Kirkland, David Nugent, Zat Knight and Horacio Carbonari, Donatella Versace, actor David Suchet who played Poirot, gardener Alan Titchmarsh, snooker players Jimmy White and Steve James, cricketer Brian Lara and Mick Jaggers ex Bianca Jagger

 

My turn! I was born on the same day as Nick "I've Had Jessica Simpson" Lachey - November 9, 1973. Although he does look annoyingly younger than me.

Other famous November 9th birthdays include Delta Goodrem, the wrestler Chris Jericho, Bryn Terfel, Pepa off of Salt n Pepa, Jill Dando, Tony Slattery, Lou "The Hulk" Ferrigno and King Edward VII. Oh, and Spiro Agnew. And lots of people on Wikipedia that I haven't heard of.

I share the same bday as John Glenn, and he seems a nice enough bloke. Also , Hunter S. Thompson, Vin Diesel, Red Skelton (cool, huh? I loved him!) and George 'Machine Gun Kelly'.

 

However I only know of one person with whom I share the exact year month and day, and he's an unbearably artsy fartsy pompous twat and a non celeb. 'Oh giiirrrlll, I cant' believe we share a birthday. ' Feh.

[Rotten Ali 600]

<-- Graeme Hick - exact day (day & year) birthday fame connection. Even been to his home city - Harare.

[time 8,626]

The only 'famous' person I can find born on my exact birthdate is Kate Robbins, singer, comedian, impressionist, actress, Eurovision Song Contest participant and distant relation of Paul McCartney.

 

I have never been to her home city (and currently have no plans to - why bother when there's a scouser in every pub in every other city?).

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

My exact birthdate is the same as English American footballer George Corrie, American author Justin Haythe, and, most excitingly, Alexander Vinokourov, a cyclist from Kazakhstan. Quite honestly, having been on the front page of The Sun twice, I think I am more famous than any of these dullards.

[Madame Defarge 21]

My exact birthdate is the same as English American footballer George Corrie, American author Justin Haythe, and, most excitingly, Alexander Vinokourov, a cyclist from Kazakhstan. Quite honestly, having been on the front page of The Sun twice, I think I am more famous than any of these dullards.

 

I see. And how has this sudden notoriety affected your health? How are you feeling?

[Spade_Cooley 9,542]

Lot of people all like "Oooh, cancer's bad. Oooh I wouldn't want to have AIDS. Ooooh, being crushed to death would be a terrible sensation". I refuse to believe any feeling is as bad as the one where you realise you've just trodden on your glasses.

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

My exact birthdate is the same as English American footballer George Corrie, American author Justin Haythe, and, most excitingly, Alexander Vinokourov, a cyclist from Kazakhstan. Quite honestly, having been on the front page of The Sun twice, I think I am more famous than any of these dullards.

 

I see. And how has this sudden notoriety affected your health? How are you feeling?

 

 

As it goes, today I feel like shite. I have a stinking cold, massive headache, and did not get to sleep till about 5 this morning, awake again at 6 (the only upside to that being that I managed to watch 5 episodes of Casualty off my Sky Box during the night, thus creating space for more weekend reality crap for Little Lard). My lips are dry and cracked (ooooer), I'm cold and fed up with not being able to go out without fear of falling over and breaking limbs due to already having a gammy leg. As to my death prospects, I'm planning on washing down some Beacham's with a large bottle of cheap white wine later, followed by a kebab - I'd say I'm a good bet.

[Madame Defarge 21]

My exact birthdate is the same as English American footballer George Corrie, American author Justin Haythe, and, most excitingly, Alexander Vinokourov, a cyclist from Kazakhstan. Quite honestly, having been on the front page of The Sun twice, I think I am more famous than any of these dullards.

 

I see. And how has this sudden notoriety affected your health? How are you feeling?

 

 

As it goes, today I feel like shite. I have a stinking cold, massive headache, and did not get to sleep till about 5 this morning, awake again at 6 (the only upside to that being that I managed to watch 5 episodes of Casualty off my Sky Box during the night, thus creating space for more weekend reality crap for Little Lard). My lips are dry and cracked (ooooer), I'm cold and fed up with not being able to go out without fear of falling over and breaking limbs due to already having a gammy leg. As to my death prospects, I'm planning on washing down some Beacham's with a large bottle of cheap white wine later, followed by a kebab - I'd say I'm a good bet.

 

I'm sorry you're feeling like such crap, Lard! Yet I don't feel you are close enough to death to be on my DDP. Oh, what the hell, who am I kidding? No one on it ever dies anyway!

[Lard Bazaar 3,800]

My exact birthdate is the same as English American footballer George Corrie, American author Justin Haythe, and, most excitingly, Alexander Vinokourov, a cyclist from Kazakhstan. Quite honestly, having been on the front page of The Sun twice, I think I am more famous than any of these dullards.

 

I see. And how has this sudden notoriety affected your health? How are you feeling?

 

 

As it goes, today I feel like shite. I have a stinking cold, massive headache, and did not get to sleep till about 5 this morning, awake again at 6 (the only upside to that being that I managed to watch 5 episodes of Casualty off my Sky Box during the night, thus creating space for more weekend reality crap for Little Lard). My lips are dry and cracked (ooooer), I'm cold and fed up with not being able to go out without fear of falling over and breaking limbs due to already having a gammy leg. As to my death prospects, I'm planning on washing down some Beacham's with a large bottle of cheap white wine later, followed by a kebab - I'd say I'm a good bet.

 

I'm sorry you're feeling like such crap, Lard! Yet I don't feel you are close enough to death to be on my DDP. Oh, what the hell, who am I kidding? No one on it ever dies anyway!

 

I'm still here! (Probably only because I had chinese, instead of a kebab!)

[Rotten Ali 600]

<-- Coming down with man-flu. Oh-joy!!!

[maryportfuncity 10,658]

Quick man...do summat to earn a broadsheet obit!

[Rotten Ali 600]

Well I hope it's man-flu and not bird-flu!

[Madame Defarge 21]

Nevermind.

[philheybrookbay 439]

I was asked again today in the course of my work as a Traffic Warden "how you sleep at night".

 

Totally threw him when I replied " a large single malt and zopiclone- beats bloody Horlicks"

[Memento Mori 12]

Both my sisters are getting married within months of each other, and are currently embroiled in the batttle of the brides. I'm just thankful that I'm not in their position!

[Godot 149]

Stumped where to put this but either the Duchess of Cornwall is working on a zombie film or it was a fancy dress party and her friend, The Duchess of Alba, came as the Joker.

[time 8,626]

Stumped where to put this but either the Duchess of Cornwall is working on a zombie film or it was a fancy dress party and her friend, The Duchess of Alba, came as the Joker Pete Burns.