Boris Johnson

[TQR 14,398]

Oh would you look at that, the reason he hasn’t handed his WhatsApps in is because he forgot the phone’s passcode.  Well, it was either that, losing his thumb or the dog eating it.

[DCI Frank Burnside 3,887]

17 minutes ago, TQR said:

Oh would you look at that, the reason he hasn’t handed his WhatsApps in is because he forgot the phone’s passcode.  Well, it was either that, losing his thumb or the dog eating it.

 

 

Alan Partridge said it best 

[TQR 14,398]

 

[Sean 6,329]

On 12/07/2023 at 16:58, maryportfuncity said:

Busy time for Dorries, she's been referred over "forceful messages" - question: do any of Boris' most loyal lieutenants have any moral fibre?

No

[DCI Frank Burnside 3,887]

So that's where the cunt got to and who knew how easy it would be to tempt him out

 

 

 

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

Oh, the government has now "found" the pin number for Boris' old phone. I wonder who was being threatened with the sack when the number was found: https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-66199658

 

Either way, d'ya think this'll show Boris was across all the details, expressing significant concern for the people of this country and calmly controlling the pandemic? 

[TQR 14,398]

22 minutes ago, maryportfuncity said:

Either way, d'ya think this'll show Boris was across all the details, expressing significant concern for the people of this country and calmly controlling the pandemic? 

Gotta love a rhetorical question.

 

One theory is that this was, ill-advisedly, the only phone Johnson used, and would potentially reveal some things about other Tories who’ve handed in a phone but did certain business on another.

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

2 minutes ago, TQR said:

Gotta love a rhetorical question.

 

One theory is that this was, ill-advisedly, the only phone Johnson used, and would potentially reveal some things about other Tories who’ve handed in a phone but did certain business on another.

 

 

Well yeah, and/or the offhand way many of those at heart of power discussed the worst moments of the pandemic and the implications of their decision making. It was widely reported that Dominic Cummings - for example - dismissed care home concerns on the basis that "a few grannies might die". He disputes this, but - significantly - not to the point of taking on anyone making the claim in court. Speaking of Cummings, the enquiry might be interested in anything on Johnson's phone relating to the Barnard Castle trip. Oh aye, and - just looking up Cummings on Wikipedia just now, it's not like there's loads of information on significant work he's done since leaving Downing St.

[DCI Frank Burnside 3,887]

 

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

Plans to build his own swimming pool may be scuppered by newts - summat he railed against in his political life because of the way it held up building projects

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-politics-66370646

[TQR 14,398]

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

Diminutive fat Boris will - apparently - take on the winner of the Zuckerberg/Musk fight. Little Zuck has the martial arts skills to kill Bojo, and whilst he'd concede a massive weight gap, he'd likely have the speed, agility and strike power to do real damage on an out of shape, static and massively wide target like Boris. 

 

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

Mad Nad's extensive rant new book has hit some last minute legal trouble. Remains to be seen whether after the current "small delay" it's unleashed alongside the predictable digests of the whole thing in the press in time to do the damage she intends to the Conservative Party Conference. Either way, it'll doubtless be an extensive love-letter to Bojo.

 

https://www.bbc.co.uk/news/uk-england-beds-bucks-herts-66670939

[YoungWillz 21,050]

Reveals he is against putting down XL Bully dogs. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12523255/Boris-Johnson-cautions-against-putting-innocent-dogs-BullyXL-ban.html

 

I suggest he goes and meets four or five of them in the street and gives them a cuddle. Go on Boris, you're not frightened of shaking hands with COVID  patients and look where that got you.

[Toast 16,140]

3 hours ago, YoungWillz said:

Reveals he is against putting down XL Bully dogs. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12523255/Boris-Johnson-cautions-against-putting-innocent-dogs-BullyXL-ban.html

I suggest he goes and meets four or five of them in the street and gives them a cuddle. Go on Boris, you're not frightened of shaking hands with COVID  patients and look where that got you.

 

I was actually going to agree with him but the article doesn't mention anything about putting dogs down, and I am certainly not going to read his column.

If they are going to ban these dogs (I gather there may be difficulties about definition) I would rather they were deported to the USA where they originated, and seem not to be a problem there.

 

This old cliché though:

Boris Johnson ..... saying: 'It’s not the dog that’s the problem, it’s the owner.'

No, sometimes it IS the dog that's the problem.

[maryportfuncity 10,647]

6 hours ago, YoungWillz said:

Reveals he is against putting down XL Bully dogs. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-12523255/Boris-Johnson-cautions-against-putting-innocent-dogs-BullyXL-ban.html

 

I suggest he goes and meets four or five of them in the street and gives them a cuddle. Go on Boris, you're not frightened of shaking hands with COVID  patients and look where that got you.

 

 

S'cuse the cynicism but...the point of his column is to be read and keep the tarnished Boris brand alive, or at least just the right side of dead. No more interested in reading it than Toast. Give us a nudge if he ever writes a column saying he's in favour of writing bollocks every week in return for trousering a tonnage of cash!

 

 

[The Old Crem 3,606]

 

Joining GB News. 

[YoungWillz 21,050]

Now it stands for Gigantic Blibberwimble News. 

 

Bringing his limited knowledge of Greek Classicism and huge knowledge of Peppa Pig World to the right wing.

[TQR 14,398]

GB News: So full of shit they needed another arsehole.

[RoverAndOut 4,746]

Statesmen retreat gracefully into the background, committing themselves to either continued service to their constituency, personal pet projects or largely keeping out of the spotlight altogether. Then you've got attention-seeking hucksters who scrabble around for relevance and someone to listen to their bilge. History will pillory Boris Johnson, and rightly so, but as much as he likes to pretend he cares about such things, the only things that truly matters to him are power and  his bank balance, and since he can't get one any more, he'll swell the other as much as possible. Surprised he's not joined his most faithful servant on Talk TV - maybe he wants to get as far away from her as possible, like everybody else.

[Toast 16,140]

1 hour ago, TQR said:

GB News: So full of shit they needed another arsehole.

 

Noted, for use if I ever bump into him in Wallingford Waitrose.

 

[TQR 14,398]

6 minutes ago, Toast said:

Noted, for use if I ever bump into him in Wallingford Waitrose.

If you do, please be sick in his eyes from me.

[Toast 16,140]

13 minutes ago, TQR said:

If you do, please be sick in his eyes from me.

 

I can promise that there will be plenty of material for the "Overheard in Waitrose" Facebook group.

[DCI Frank Burnside 3,887]

 

[Brad252 807]

In a year's time, if GB News is still running, they better be prepared for a big recruitment drive for all the maternity cover I can imagine being necessary.